JUSTIFY- Two sides to the story? Chris Ritchey or Lombardi’s Lament

June 1, 2010 at 7:16 pm 14 comments

Interesting few days around here – apparently there are two sides and two perspectives to the taking of our closure and ‘JUSTIFICATION’ .

Ok, I am willing to tell the other side from remarks made by the “friends of Angela’s family” in telling of their reasoning and also in the words written by Angela to this family .

THE FRIEND….

Apparently, according to him, the Lombardis ( in particular Angela) were upset as my cousin, who had flown over from England to be with us read a letter at the memorial service from my husband and myself.
( I guess it wasn’t my place to have asked Tony to do that, should’ve cleared with “THE family first”)

I was not at the service, I was taking care of my grandson and my husband who was emotionally and physically unable to attend. This is the “offending letter “
The Unbearable Pain of Being

THEREFORE, according to “the friend” after what happened at the memorial service

“Angela decided to take CONTROL and to exercise her rights as Chris’ wife with the rest of the burial decisions”

Also in a phone call to my son in law the day after the memorial service with regard to “selling Chris 4 wheeler” ( more on that later) Angela stated :

Have you seen the blog my mother is really angry –

this is the post

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/my-only-son-chris-ritchey/

Source

Although their names were not mentioned and it could’ve been anyone in that waiting room whose behaviour I found objectionable they apparently “recognized themselves!”


I hope you have read the letter and the post. My son was still laying in a cooler at the funeral home 500 feet away from where I was typing both .And I was still reeling from the hurt and disbelief that I was punished by that same family by having the information withheld from me that my son was on the Tuesday evening, probably dying suffering a heart attack, organs breaking down and had to be paralized.

I still wonder whether I would’ve been included in the decision to take him from the vent had it not been that after that episode I made sure the Drs. KNEW that both his sister and I were on his medical forms for permission when treating. ( Angela might not of known that as it was I that went with him to the hospital when that was set up)

I put it to YOU does the letter etc. justify the taking Chris from his family and their closure and breaking a promise to his sister , grandmother, uncle and brother in law…. because you didn’t like what his mother wrote.

JUSTIFICATION for the appalling wickedness they heaped upon this family .So YOU tell me was this reason enough to deny closure and to take away our son, brother , grandson, uncle , nephew and brother in law ?


Source

THE WIFE
HOWEVER the spin is spinning, because in Angela’s note to us 4 days ( after the service) later she states her “reasoning “as follows:

I have decided not to separate his ashes. This decision was not made as a reaction to recent events . Religion did not play a role. Chris did not want to be an organ donor he wanted to leave this world with what he came with…I feel this is one last thing I can do to honor my husband…..

Golly Gee! doesn’t seem that at that time Dec 11th ( memorial service Dec 7th) the “justification” as hyped now by the friend was part of the reasoning.

Sorry “Friend” your take on “justification” doesn’t seem to wash if you take what Angela herself says as “gospel” but then again I placed trust in her words and look what happened.

PROOF???
Let us take the organ donor business. Chris in his last license August just months before he died was not an organ donor- he couldn’t be he had cancer but he also told me that he was embarrassed to tell the registrar that was the reason.

BUT after his death I found his previous license that he had lost and had to get replaced at the bottom of that licence

Please remember that Angela is a Dr. she knows or should do full well what happens to the “organs” in a cremation
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/cremation-the-video/

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/ashes-to-ashes-the-video/
and even in an embalming..
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/let-us-talk-burial-not-green/
again you aren’t complete either so that reasoning is so much spin as well…..

As for honoring her husband -the biggest falshood of all (imho) as everything she has done has dishonored the love he had for his family . He would NOT have been party to any of this thinking -except maybe his mothers :)
Artwork Chris Ritchey

And as for her words in an email to that same Tony with regard- never thinking she would have to be dealing with an attorney’s office.

Angela, let me spin this one for you when you break trust and promises and half kill Chris’ Nana and father because of your actions then you have to deal through attorneys they can be as cold and as calculating as “IN MY OPINION” you are ! YOU BROKE A CONTRACT OF TRUST therefore any further dealings with you would have to be in writing and with legalities all tied up tight. You have broken trust with this family. That is “our justification ” with regard to you .


As I stated in an email to friends earlier this week :

“To me there is NO justification to take from a family their son and further to not inform his family as to the time of his interment. It has been six months of pure hell for us and I am done trying to figure out the why’s and wherefores and tired of apologizing for loving my son .

Chris in happier times

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Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Chris Ritchey, commentary, death, grief, journey, opinion, personal opinion, weddings and funerals. Tags: , , , .

Ghost in the Pond- A Koi Story VI -(pers) – Chris Ritchey

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. nicholas  |  June 2, 2010 at 4:22 am

    Handsome young man.

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • 2. Mark  |  June 2, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    I said it before, and I’ll say it again: She’s a cold, vindictive, spoiled bitch.

    No one, absolutely no one says or does these things without there being malice involved. There is a place in the afterlife for folks like her, and it is not pleasant. And I’ll bet her parents are just so proud of her. Wonder where she got that nasty streak.

  • 3. nicholas  |  June 2, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    I lost my oldest daughter five years ago. She was taken from me really, and there were a lot of lies told so that I couldn’t see her right away, and all the trying and arguing and court hearings and psychiatric evaluations all took so long and cost so much that I wasn’t able to bridge the gap. She lost her Dad, and I lost my little girl. A couple years later the same was done to the little girl’s grandparents. The fact is there is an illness to the mom that allows her to act in this manner, and its sadness itself to see the lives that are damaged by it.

    I have had lots of long nights filled with fears and tears, of a darkness and loneliness, and loss. And I was troubled to find something good in all of the darkness, and wondered allowed what could God be thinking. We are to be thankful in all things, so the bible advises me, but I was at a total loss how I could possibly be thankful in any of these things…

    And I will say this one thing, that Hallie was the best thing that ever happened in my life, a great treasure and a daily pleasure. She was the first person to ever call me Dad, and it happened at a time when I had thought my chance for hearing that word had past me by. Losing her was the hardest thing that ever happened to me, and the darkness surrounding the loss made it all the more black. But I am thankful, I truly am thankful for God’s kindness in ever allowing me to know her at all…what a great privilege it was to be her Dad those first four and a half years of her life. Being her Dad was the best thing I ever did, and of all things in my life, it was her that I was most proud. She has changed my life for the better, and I will forever be thankful for the knowing of her and the time I had her here with me.

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 2, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    Mark, I am so tired of dealing with this ( but I have the ripple effect of their action insuating themsleves into my family

    ….but since the “friends of” are spinning this justification of a behaviour that I find totally without excuse or belief………those that weren’t at the service are being given a reason that something we said or did justified the action they took somehow. I wanted people to know “exactly what was read and by whom and why” if they think those words JUSTIFIED going back on her word to this family , taking him from his faith and our closure and not informing his Uncle, Nana and Jim ( who specifically asked the father and Angela the time of their burial ..My mother is wracked with regret that they put her grandson in the ground and that she couldn’t say goodbye or be there to be with him.and NOW he is part of the “FAMILY PLOT”- LITERALLY … so be it…. But those that are being told this ‘other side’ should make those decisions based upon all the facts before they spin the other side……

    I have not spoken to any of them or had contact with them since the day my son died. My HUSBAND ( although I also got the blame for that too :) ( more later) contacted them and through HIS attorney .( I have a different attorney) They are beneath contempt as far as I am concerned …….I want nothing to do with them.haven’t since the day my son died…..

  • 5. thatwoman  |  June 2, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Oh Nicholas I am so sorry – I at least know what it is like to share those dark k hours in the night with the tears and fears….You are right and we have been trying very hard to get past recent events and remember the great times ….I watched my son die by inches and that is the memory I have of him at the moment those last weeks. play over and over again l in my mind…..we try so hard to remember Chris as he was before the ‘obscenity” entered our lives……to remember him as the young vital happy Chris he was…. but at the moment dealing with the salt that keeps being rubbed in our already raw wounds by THE family we cannot seem to “move’ let alone forward ….

    I am so sorry you share a path of pain along with us …it is something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone . As I mentioned to Mark I am just so tired and worn from emotions…. please know you have my tears as well.they are falling as I read your comment Loraine

  • 6. Lisa  |  June 2, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    A mother and father have lost their son.

    A sister has lost her brother.

    A grandmother has lost her grandson.

    A wife has lost her husband.

    Doesn’t everybody have enough pain & sorrow on their plate? Why does that family insist on punishing your family for Chris’ death? During a time when happy memories of Chris should be a source of comfort, selective memories are being twisted and used as weapons to inflict more damage instead.

    Does she think that the words “I do” transferred ownership of your son to her and that you should fade quietly into the background? The marriage license isn’t like a car title. The words “forsake all others” in the vows don’t mean your families.

    If it wasn’t for you & your husband, there wouldn’t have been a Christopher for Angela to love.
    I wonder if she’s ever thought about that.

  • 7. Mark  |  June 3, 2010 at 2:33 am

    My sympathies to you, Nicholas. I cannot begin to fathom what you, Loraine, and Lisa are going through, and I pray with all of my being that I never have to find out. No child should precede their parents to the grave. That’s not the way things are supposed to work, yet it happens. Tonight I read of a 2-year-old that was found dead in the neighbor’s pool. Someone is going to be wracked with guilt for taking their eyes off of that child for a long time.

  • 8. Lisa  |  June 3, 2010 at 3:52 am

    I think I speak for the 3 of us when I say to you, Mark, that we hope you never have to find out what it is like to lose your child.

    I thought my heart had been broken before, but it was never like this.

  • 9. thatwoman  |  June 3, 2010 at 11:04 am

    I don’t know Lisa, I cannot fathom the thoughts process… I believe they are all about the “show” ( and or appearances and reputation within the community ) just my opinion… my few dealings with them drew me to that conclusion….. today is a Thursday the day of the week my son was taken off the vent and I watched his heart stop and his body cool it is also the third of the month exactly 6 months and it is as if it were yesterday .

    We have had our son denied to us both in life and death , what should have been a time for support has become one of division and posturing. Well I am “sick ” of being sick and tired and watching the results of that division and posturing and holier than thou behaviour and how it effects my husband, my mother and daughter …… the last straw for me was the notes she sent in my dead sons clothes …Can you imagine what it was like for Nikki and my mum of 91 to be called over to the funeral home to “pick up ” her little memotos doled out like some “goodwill package” with her “thoughts. attached”. …. ones that she knew ( I have the email) would upset my daughter…. Last word syndrome……

    Personally I would have told the funeral home to “return to sender” but they didn’t.they were still trying for benefit of the doubt……the hurt on his Uncles face , my mother incredulous and even Gavin got his share of “Angela’s thoughts and yes it was all about “Angela” the I in death She certainly if she had any sense at all had to realize what such an act would do ……

    I watched with a cold anger as once again my family sat in disbelief at her actions……. but it has to be a family thing because if she had been my daughter I would have dissuaded her from following through with such an action…
    but again I believe they are all about them and how it effected them……

  • 10. Facebook Fan/ Friend – NOT! « That Woman’s Weblog  |  July 29, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    [...] on top of “CREMAINSNAPPING” I now have to watch out for [...]

  • [...] did dishonor to his family and denied their closure. She had her minions tell the inhabitants of all the lands how the “Wicked Witch” has caused her and her “court [...]

  • [...] 4. People, on the whole, no longer read , they scan and our words have been misinterpreted – and therefore it follows we are hung for the sheep instead of the lamb! I know that one too [...]

  • [...] my dead son, emails have been sent about me that were erroneous and from a perspective that had nothing to do with the actual truth in order to justify the actions of a few. I want you all to reflect for just a minute as to how [...]

  • [...] http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/justify-two-sides-to-the-story-chris-ritchey-or-lombardis-… This was the most despicable act of betrayal at a time of such pain and anguish as to be untenable but they felt no such pain in the passing of my child – their calculating coldness proved that. Lies were being told to justify the actions of callousness and greed and since I wasn’t unaware of the extent of this manipulation I could not fight those lies at the time. [...]

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