DEC. 4th- How Cold is Cold -Lombardi?
ED NOTE: I am writing this on the 3rd of December- a year has gone since that awful day Chris died BUT in the past 36 hours two terrible acts ( at least I think them to be terrible have come to light- One was the fact that on that day last year Chris father was “SHUT OUT” of the ICU room where his son was drawing his last breath – instead of his father at his side Tim Lombardi watched my son die - that was bad enough and the anger I felt when I learned that just yesterday has been magnified because today my wonderful daughter finally told me what happened to her in the ICU room.
You see she had wanted to protect me but today was too much and as we shared our grief it finally came out. So the following post has me seething with an anger toward those that perpetrated this callousness and coldness. It doesn’t matter to me that it was one year ago – finding out about it today it becomes as fresh as the snow that is falling.
However at that meeting Angela (Lombardi) ritchey ( flanked by the ever-present Sue and Tim Lombardi )along with Bob Cool, Ken Ritchey, Nikki and Jim Beres and my mother discussed the “arrangements” and agreed to certain things but it seems we had already upset the “pre funeral planning” by the Lombardi clan -It seems arrangements had already been made before my son was dead! Whilst his family were still hoping to hope they had been busy little “controllers” making arrangements and not saying a word to Chris immediate family-
Less than 24 hours before I had been summoned into a conference room for Angela’s “family meeting”- I had come down after falling exhausted into sleep to be woken by Nikki-
Mum you have to go back
- I said
Nikki I can’t- I can’t even stand
and she said
Mum, you have to something is wrong- I will come down as soon as Jim gets here to take Gavin
I rushed through the hallways- to this day I have no idea what clothes I had on…. I found my son’s room empty – no one was with him I went in- a new nurse said
You are wanted in the conference room
my husband is there I am not leaving my son alone I promised him-
YOU HAVE TO GO!
I looked at this officious nurse and said
“I DON’T “HAVE” TO GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING I AM NOT LEAVING MY SON ALONE!
It was then Nikki arrived – still in pajamas purchased from the hospital gift shop- they were pink and blue and brown and white striped- like some bizarre clown outfit. I remember thinking Chris would find it funny
Mum you go I will stay with Chris I promise
The meeting that day was about taking Chris off the vent they
“didn’t want any trouble”
so they needed my permission as well as his wifes- I had the night before made sure that the staff were now aware that Nikki and I were also on his paperwork.
The Dr. explained what would happen and our options and what each option would mean when they did this- how they were going to have to wait until one of the medications wore off so it would be a little while- ironically the same Dr. who had stated just a couple of hours previously to Angela as I stood there at 5 in the morning :
OH ! this is the first night he had held his own
Cool Beans! we now have to feed my boy
Dr. We have to do something about a bowel movement first
As I stood there like some peripheral groupie I mentioned the scan and that
“the ICU nurse was very concerned as his pupils were fixed and dilated and had called the Neurologist for a scan”
Two faces and pairs of eyes ” in the know medical (Drs.?) turned and looked at me like I was some sort of “ignorant irritant”
The MD on duty – I don’t remember her name just her face- I had seen it through the early morning hours looking at the monitors through the glass – never once coming into the room – said:
Oh I am not worried he is on a boat load of medication
Giggles from the “Dr. to be ritchey ( Angela)
Oh he is on enough medication to fill up an elephant heehehehehee!
With that I left to try to sleep as I was exhausted………
Two hours later the same “I am not worried about that Dr. was informing me my son was brain-damaged and possibly already brain-dead but they weren’t sure – a decision to remove the vent had to be made.
I can’t remember much in those next few minutes I stayed back in the conference room with my husband- I knew Nikki wouldn’t leave her brother- I couldn’t think that my beautiful son was going to die- I truly still thought he will show them he will come out of this – I never gave up hope and none of us said to goodbye-
My husband when he was in a coma told us that he had heard every word that people spoke but he couldn’t let us know. So we all acted on the fact that Chris too was aware and were so careful not to say or do anything that would distress him- trapped as he was…….
Fashionistas Sue Lombardi and Angela (Lombardi) ritcheyThis apparently was not consideration given by the Lombardis as Sue Lombardi and Angela joined Nikki in the ICU room. Nikki was putting cool cloths on Chris’ brow , holding his hand and talking to him that everything was Ok and she wouldn’t leave him-
However that was not the reason apparently the Lombardi women were in the room, not for them comfort and saying farewell NO they had other reasons for seeing Chris they were choosing his “laying out clothes”
So before my son was dead, two minutes after Nikki had learned they were taking Chris off the vent – Angela Ritchey DO and Sue stood over my dying son having already decided without even the courtesy of discussing with Chris’ family the Gluvna Funeral Home would handle the arrangements-
We will lay him out in his black pants, blue shirt and silver tie
Yes, but no suit jacket Chris wouldn’t like that
Nikki couldn’t believe what she was hearing her brother lying there still breathing, still warm, his hand still in hers and they are discussing “funeral fashion!” -
Nikki said to me today between her sobs –
Mum who are these people. how does a “bride” stand there as her husband is dying and calmly decide what fashion statement he will make in his casket- I was standing there trying to memorize every piece of his face, his hands everything about him knowing I would never see him again and they are discussing what to dress him in and he wasn’t even dead. I just cannot believe they were so cool and calm and cold when Angela said
“Yes but no jacket ” it was in the same tone as saying
I will have honey mustard sauce with the nuggets…….
Nikki turned to them and quietly said through her teeth so that Chris didn’t hear
NO! you are not laying my brother out, there will be no casket he is to be cremated, he isn’t to go to Gluvna but to Boyers – I will fight you on this – he is to go home
but this will be a huge funeral and what would we do about the parking….
I still find this scenario incredible What kind of people are more concerned in the “funeral fashion statement” of their son-in-law and new husband will wear as he is clinging to life. Who calmly looks at their dying groom and is concerned about jacket or no jacket, what kind of people are these ?- How could you even discuss this as a sister holds her dying brothers hand and tries to give him comfort. How could Angela even contemplate that next move? I just know that anyone who loved my son deeply would not be thinking of “dressing him in his coffin” in their last moments together !
I didn’t know any of this until today – I am even more filled with disgust that someone who was so full of life, love and caring has left this life and those that should have mourned his loss stood over him – as he lay dying deciding how to dress him in a casket to look good!
I just can’t get my head around this thinking is this normal for death in this country? I don’t think so- is this normal for Catholics? I don’t think so – is this normal for a “bride”? I don’t think so- but you tell me – those who read this – because if this is normal then the Catholic USA has a problem!
The disgust I feel at such pious hypocrites is indescribable – to think my son was subject to this in his last moments “what would he be wearing as they decorated him in the casket “ fills me with a gut filled sickness, it is beyond my comprehension as to what he did to deserve such coldness…….may it be visited upon them 10 fold.
Peace on Earth Good Will toward….. light a candle Tim, Sue and Angela you need them they are the only warmth that will emote from your souls this Christmas time and anytime . In my opinion you are all beneath contempt.
To be continued on the 11th…..
Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, Chris Ritchey, death, grief, hell is other people, Mothers, personal opinion, weddings and funerals. Tags: Angela (Ritchey) Murphy DO, Angela Lombardi Ritchey Murphy Westlake, Angela ritchey DO, Angela Ritchey Do ( Murphy) Fairview Hosp, Angela Ritchey DO Cleveland Clinic, Angela Ritchey Do Fairview, death, disgraceful, Drs. Angela and Chris Murphy, grief, Lombardi-Lorain, mothers and sons, Tim and Sue Lombardi Lorain, Tim and Susan Lombardi, Tim Lombardi First Federal Savings and Loan Lorain.