It starts with a “birth- day” – August 17th -
A day usually which comes with pain as your child starts the journey toward a first breath. If ever a pain can be described as exquisite it is the pain of bringing a life into the world. They say a mother forgets the pain, I am not sure that is true , the pain is tempered and put to the back of your memory replaced by your incredible feelings of love and joy of the child once held safely beneath your heart, the child of your heart, held at last in your arms.
There is no pain when the cord is cut from your body, a body which fed , protected, shared life and essence with your child for those months when you were one .
Your eyes see for the first time tiny hands reaching for a touch, those tiny feet and legs that kept you awake at night as they kicked and turned and moved getting ready for the journey of life. A little nose, mouth and eyes swollen , not quite seeing the world about them, the wrench of coming from warmth and safety into “life” and then the sound of a familiar heartbeat reaches little ears and warmth and comfort once again – a familiar place at his mother’s breast brings ease to your child. A birth -day
But when life is reversed and your child is wrenched from life , the memories of joy overpowered by the indescribable pain of loss – it bites, rips and tears at your insides, your heart contracts as death enters your world, your arms are empty – the pain is not exquisite and this time when the cord of life is cut a mother screams ………………and the fearful tormenting, slow torturing pain begins……..
I write this today as it would have been a celebration of a child who should be blowing out the candles on an all too sweet cake, exploring the world, laughing – a “birth” – day wish unfulfilled…………….. but a love that continues to grow, a child of the heart still fills his mother’s heart with love of him. I wish for the happy memories to blossom , to ease and temper pain of his mother and father and all who found such undying love on his “birth” day.