The DNA – The normalcy of those that have lost- A study in “kind” –

Artwork Source- Chris Ritchey BFA

It has been one of those weeks- the more that normal life situations have been part of my day – the worse my grief. I know that will only make sense to some who walk my path.

Losing Chris , the trauma of day after day of watching him have his world crushed and the riding the wave of hope, the days and nights of watching him fade and fight and standing by helpless are burned into my brain and my heart.

I am inadequate to deal with “normal” – I long to escape the pain, the images that swirl in my brain waking and sleeping , the cruelty of cancer
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/wild-horses-chris-ritchey/

and the cruelty of people
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/a-memory-of-vipers-chris-ritchey/

have taken such a toll. I don’t know who I am anymore so as once again I pace the house and watch the sunrise on another day of “trying to cope” – the normal……..

There was a study sent to me by one who walks my way- click on the jpg to enlarge and you can find the full PDF file here Article from Psych Medicine

ARTICLE FROM PSYCH MEDICINE

And this morning another study along the lines of one that had also been sent to me a few weeks ago:

Why having a son puts a woman in a new frame of mind: DNA can pass into body from foetus before reaching brain
Cells pass into mother’s body before making it to brain
Male DNA may linger there for decades, scientists say
Study in journal by cancer research centre in Seattle

href=”http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2209176/Seattle-cancer-study-DNA-pass-womans-body-foetus-reaching-brain.html

Hard- Graphics Design – Chris Ritchey

You see we try, those that have lost , those that have endured the daily torture of watching our children and their life slowly leaving them.

We try, we look for reasons why we aren’t

” moving on- getting on with life “

We try to find reasons why we see the sunrise and our children don’t.

We try not to make others uncomfortable in our presence.

We try to “be”- and we reach out to one another to find the kinship of those that understand, those that know the language of grief of losing your child minute by excruciating minute for weeks on end.

And as much as we try – we still walk the nights, dread the days and TRY our damnedest make it through another day. That is our “normal” AND IT IS SO BLOODY HARD

From the Center for Loss and Trauma
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

http://www.drjoanne.blogspot.com/2012/09/recipe-for-raw-grief.html