February 3rd – Impervious – Chris Ritchey
Oh she’s back! or glad to see you are getting on with life and moving forward-
the comments made as I write on this blog about “happenings ” other than you, my son. I meet their words with a watery smile- not that they notice – they- for the most part, the people are relieved . I may no longer make them uncomfortable as has been my presence in their community. They can relax , can forget and move on dealing with life and all its facets without having to acknowledge the pain of grief of one who moves within their circle.
It is an enigma really – for the most part people think your death ,the crippling grief and the missing of you “enters ” the life I live and we all live. They, not having lost their son or daughter , usually feel as time goes on the world of grief will enter my life less and less as days become weeks, months and now years – . They, the lucky ones, know not time stopped that December day, the very moment in time when your heart stopped.
it will get better- time heals
such is the belief – but actually that is not what happens – it is in fact, for me at least, the other way round- life enters my world of grief – flashes in and out and the robot, that is me, does her best to carry on . Those who watch are relieved feeling I am “finally” dealing with my grief- but in fact I am dealing with my“left over” life( and not too well) but well enough to get by.
You are in my world- waking and sleeping. I awoke the other morning having written the following in my dream: Not the best poem in the world no matter which world but it is my world a world where I still see your face before me .
Mask-Mist – Chris Ritchey
Impervious – laughter
Impervious- man and womankind
Impervious- changing seasons
Impervious- ME – I am impervious
Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, grief, Love, Mothers, Third. Tags: Christopher D. Ritchey, christopher ritchey lorain, death, grief, health, mental-health, Mother's Love, mothers and sons, obscenity of cancer, opinion, undying love.