Posts filed under ‘hell is other people’
“Struggling still to sort out the conflicting thoughts”.
Where do I begin? and how did I get to this place of quandary?
I don’t like Cricket , but millions do and some of my best friends and close family love the game . I know very little about the game except for the Tea Pavilion
and the fact my Aunt Rene apparently dated one of the game most famous batsman Denis Compton.
Therefore, I stay away from Cricket matches and conversations, commenting or having an opinion on Cricket. It just isn’t worth the time and effort in sharing my uneducated opinion of the game-
One: I don’t know enough about it
Two- I am not the least bit interested in finding out about it.
Cricket is not a problem for me here in Lorain. a discussion about “Cricket rarely comes up , in fact I have never had a discussion with regard to “Cricket” in Lorain
I don’t like a lot of things that many of my closest friends and family like and also follow. None of us are ever in complete agreement with our interests or following. To each his own.
I don’t like reality TV ( personally ) if I want to watch dysfunctional life, I just need to turn on the local news .
Reality TV shows cost so much less to produce $100,000 to on the high end $500,000 on the other hand a “show” about a somewhat dysfunctional family Downton Abbey of $1.7 million dollars to produce per episode or another whey hey what is next in the Yorkshire Dales of Dysfunction “Last Tango in Halifax” at $2. million per episode
However as “cheap as chips” reality shows are highly successful as it seems the demographics of young people with expendable incomes are drawn to their product and switch on regularly .
“Entertainment is a subjective thing, so where one thing is quality to one person, it’s not to another,”Manville says -
Scott Manville ( founder and president of TV Writers Vault
I am not quite at the age where I have seen it all , but I have seen a lot of it and been a part of more than most in my “circle”
One of my “hats” as long time readers are aware is the “Co Chair of Charleston Village Society “- This is a non-profit organization founded in 1989 to preserve the quality of life and historical aspect of Lorain’s oldest neighborhood.
However, when we first started out it was against the wishes of the then Community Development Dept. They didn’t want a “middle class clique” in the middle of their lucrative HUD funded “bank” . In point of fact, many obstacles were put in the way at every turn, which is WHY there is a Charleston Village Society today- I was young enough, energetic enough and passionate enough along with a few others to “fight City Hall” literally.
You don’t take on that particular fight lightly, especially when more than a few depended upon the city for their bread and butter- my husband included. Oh! there was quite the “back lash” then and since; the times when we were vocal and in opposition. Since I was the one not having a “regular job” and was available for meetings etc. I became the spokesperson, my name went out under the letter head as “secretary and co-founder” . The “village idiots” continued and a few months ago I was contacted about an event coming to our neighborhood.
And it turned out to be definitely “NOT CRICKET”
ED NOTE for the non Brits among you ‘ not cricket
phrase of cricket British informal
a thing contrary to traditional standards of fairness or rectitude.
or perhaps “I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.” Voltaire
There is some “discussion” as to the actual attribution to Voltaire http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voltaire but whomever interpreted those words or actually said them – they are very powerful words. Words, that a great many in this country and others who believe in “freedom of speech” carry with them in their hearts.
But I ask you – WOULD YOU DEFEND TO THE DEATH THE RIGHT OF SOMEONE YOU DIDN’T AGREE WITH TO HAVE THEIR SAY?
Supposing you didn’t have to actually die to make your stand for the right of another to disagree or express a differing opinion ? Would you then enter into a fray – even though, although not death but, a verbal assault that would come with an , insulting, ridiculing and vicious back lash aimed at YOU for your defense of another’s opinion whether you were in agreement or not?
That is the question I am now asking myself – me of the supposed “higher principles” who has spouted off time and time again about “Freedom of Speech” – Freedom of thought “Freedom to Write”.
Have I finally realized and acknowledged -I am a hypocrite? I talked a good game, got on my soap box time and time again – knowing that actually I never really made a difference but at least I registered my opinion and thoughts. . I had belief and passion but NOW – NOW in the world, so changed by the loss of my son – I am no longer passionate, no longer care or am I just beaten down by the uselessness of it all?
A recent situation in this tired and desperate City of Lorain has seen a seething , biting cat fight clawing at the right to have a differing opinion to the vocal majority.
This not so uninvolved bystander has watched as cyber bullying, on air bullying took the place of debate and I have stood by and watched as the rabid rhetoric of majority has pounced on the freedom of opinion and I have felt the ripple effect of it. It seems I won’t even stand up for myself so why should I make a stand for others .
Is it, as my son’s poster points out from a time when he himself was fighting for his own right of freedom of speech.
Speech can segregate you from everyone
that I am afraid of being alone????? – No! even that isn’t a good enough reason to stay away from the fray? I could be no more alone than my current situation of being locked in a world of hurt….. it isn’t that – I am at my lowest ebb – nothing people can say or do can hurt me more than the pain I already experience every waking moment .
So why don’t I, I who have the tools, to at least try to defend the rights of others? I look at my son’s artwork – he who was so passionate about patriotism , this country and freedom in all things and guilt comes crashing in – because I know he would have been disappointed in my lack of action – even if it makes no difference because – “at least you tried………..”
To be continued … MAYBE
Every time I log in to the administration of this blog, I have to scroll down through all the months I have written and posted here. I see the years flash by as the mouse does it work. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you are drowning and I am drowning with the loss of you every single day. The calendar of years flashing by is just another reminder of how long you have left us -physically.
There are times when I am writing an opinion or delving into the chaos of the community when I long for your perspective. You always were succinct and to the point- you never wasted words ( you didn’t get that from me) but you always showed me another view or aspect even when we agreed.
This past month has found me caught up in a rather vitriolic and vicious to some, debate ( I use the word debate loosely). I know if I could have picked up the phone you would have given me a clearer and younger male perspective . Once again, I am just a shell of the me that was, floundering , drowning in doubt. Then, as I sat in the bedroom looking at your work that fills the walls, I remembered your counsel- sage and insightful beyond your years.
“Nothing should be hidden or untouchable, if it is your truth and you stand behind it – no one should be able to silence you “
but with the warning :
Speech can segregate you from everyone
Thank you Chris , a timely reminder heeded- I still love you more than life itself …………..
Part Two – A History
Part Three- The Rhetoric of Right
As I entered the building, following Karen Davis-County Facilities Director, my thoughts turned quickly from my trepidation at entering the bowels of a supposed “pit” – a smelly, dank and dire place with mould and slime dripping on heads, rat droppings and certain risks to my health – to dismay as I saw what had happened to this once grand old lady.
The vivid pictures in my mind of decay, as described by Tim Lubbe and the darling of the media attorney, Chandra, as they had sent photographers willy – nilly around the building showing the disgraceful conditions.
You can view photographs of the “troubled areas” in this article in the Chronicle Telegram
Commissioner says old Lorain County Courthouse not so terrible Filed on June 26, 2014 by Brad Dicken
Lubbe said workers deserve to work in a healthy and secure workplace. Lubbe said if commissioners insist they stay at the courthouse, the court will comply, but it will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to make repairs.
He said problems include water and raw sewage leaking from the third floor into second-floor rooms where employees work. Lubbe said the lobby accommodates about a dozen people, but 100 come through on a regular basis, making it unsafe
I asked Ms. Davis to take me through all the areas complained about, photographed and written about in “legal ease letters from Chandra ( after all I, the taxpayer was paying for these epistles). To her credit, Ms. Davis made no comment as we toured the building from top to bottom.
YES! it is disgraceful but not because of unseen rat droppings, or mould and slime dripping on heads. What was disgraceful is the fact a once beautiful, ornate and powerful building has essentially been assaulted. I was greeted by a rabbit warren of cut up offices, walls thrown up to make cubby hole offices- with no regard to atheistic or the buildings mechanics let alone historical significance
ED NOTE-LORAIN COUNTY ADMINISTRATOR JIM CORDES STATED:
The only significant renovation after the seventies was the installation of a court in the basement when a new judgeship was ordered in Lorain county. The rest, as you view it now was worked in and around everything that happened prior. And none of us were here for the court installation in the lower level
The building is just chopped up to the point where we can’t do good work here,” Cwalina said. “We just can’t.”
walls covered in textured wallpaper- all adding to the “sponge effect” of grabbing odours and bacteria , holding fast. That, coupled with the trapped air, air only recirculated in summer with air-conditioning and winter with heat. No gentle breezes wafted through open windows.
As I walked though one area, there was a definite odor. This area was one of the area where everything had been closed off and not one bit of “fresh air” circulated. The odour wasn’t gas or mould but BODY ODOUR of the many who passed through the area . The building has BO! It needs an airing!
The feeling of sickness in my stomach came not from the smell of gas but the odoriferous lack of design, care and disgraceful treatment of this once proud house of justice by those that “improved” . The people of design in past decades , the decorators who painted over her body had prostituted her for their own ends. They had ripped from her innards any worthiness and covered over the beautiful wood work with purple based brown paint.
Did anyone speak for the victim as she was sliced and diced? Did not one person in all those decades of abuse ever say NO? Was there one among those who said “this is wrong- we are destroying our own historical worth- we the gatekeepers of law and government- did no one advocate as they lowered her ceiling covering up the artisans craft of centuries?
Ah and NOW they complain she isn’t good enough for a third world country . Those who have painted over her remaining doors, painted her walls so the bricks can no longer breathe, trapping in her 10 inch walls the very moisture they now complain about. They have laid rubber and plastic on floors that used to breathe and glow with the fragrance of beeswax. Every so often peeking out from the “mediocre modernization” a glimpse of what used to be .
The room where the gym resides – where men and presumably women work up a sweat , as they workout on gym mats ( always such a pleasant smell – gym floor mats), punch the bag and lift the weights. No longer do breezes, carried by the outside trees, enter the room to erase the stink of man.
A room full of old clothes, presumably handed out to those clients in need , clients of the Probation Dept. One has to ask could not those items be dispensed through another agency as the stench of old shoes mingled with the musty odor of the rest of the contents? It certainly added to the odors.
As we walked out into the corridor once more, another entranceway was bricked up- on the other side was a huge panel and a storage room which maintained the original integrity of the brickwork and wooden floor and surprise – here at least there was no smell of “progress” some dust but no decay and bacteria assaulted the nostrils
Did those who came after the architect and builders in 1881 have no inkling as to why buildings were designed and built they way they were? There was a purpose and a method in their madness as they built their buildings to last and make a statement .The high ceilings allowed for heat to escape upwards in the summer – those have been lowered and covered over with acoustic tile now trapping the air , heat and germs.
The thick walls retained heat in winter and stopped summer heat. The walls breathed – no longer- they are covered and suffocating under paper and layers of paint. The improvements of the decades are “killing” the building slowly.
Hardwood floors, for the winter warmth and cooling tiles in areas where water could splash and coolness were needed. Doorways and windows designed and placed strategically to bring in cross breezes to air out the building. All these have been bastardized shrunk down and closed permanently.
Buildings are more than the sum of their individual components. The design, materials, type of construction, size, shape, site orientation, surrounding landscape, and climate all play a role in how buildings perform. Historic building construction methods and materials often maximized natural sources of heat, light and ventilation to respond to local climatic conditions
Operable windows, interior courtyards, clerestories, skylights, rooftop ventilators, cupolas, and other features that provide natural ventilation and light can reduce energy consumption
Thick masonry walls typical of the late-nineteenth and early-twentieth centuries have inherent thermal characteristics that keep the buildings cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter. Walls with substantial mass have the advantage of high thermal inertia, which reduces the rate of heat transfer through the wall. For instance, a wall with high thermal inertia, subjected to solar radiation for an hour, will absorb the heat at its outside surface, but slowly transfer it to the interior over a period as long as six hours
We finally came to the famous “feces toilet”- the doorway padlocked the toilets wrapped in plastic.
ED NOTE you can see photos of Tim Lubbe’s complaints here https://www.dropbox.com/sc/ea02qpuxqp24jme/AABBAOKr08J5Z-ktbPxcySpna
Obviously, since those pictures were taken “clean up” and repairs have been accomplished. Dampness and or leaks will cause the intricate plaster work on these lovely old buildings to deteriorate and decay. That is a problem of lack of maintenance or leaks not detected.
Most of the pictures in the Lubbe album are due to failing plaster and paint and the bastardization of added heating and electrical systems over the decades with no regard to the integrity of the structure
Back to the toilets, which in the photos are a disgrace.
-the door is locked now ( and obviously the toilets are now cleaned and secured ( there is no running water in that bathroom) – A bathroom that no one apparently knew was being used- well except by the people using it . As stated, in one of the previous news articles, the Commissioners were unaware the “Probation Dept.” had been moving their ” offices etc’ to that floor -
and the door was unlocked – not because of a toilet access – but access needed to the electrical panel and the light which is also housed behind that door.
I wondered who had been using those facilities? Was it the homeless also was mentioned in a Chronicle article- clients of the court-house – workers and WHY didn’t anyone ever call maintenance upon discovery of such human filth?
I could go on and on BUT there is not much point you see although I have come to a conclusion:
My judgment in this case – The Demise of Lorain County Court House
– IS TO FIND THE JUSTICES THE COMMISSIONERS OF DECADES PAST
E.W. DeChant-J.E. Davidson- O.G. Dunn (circa 1940) -
GUILTY OF “CONTEMPT” OF THE HISTORICAL WORTH AND LEGACY LEFT TO THEM AS GUARDIANS OF THIS YOUNG COUNTRY’S WORTHINESS AND VALUES!
GUILTY OF ENABLING THE CONTINUED BASTARDIZATION OF AN ICON OF THIS COUNTRY’S AND COUNTY’S HISTORICAL RECORD , AND LEGACY. FAILING TO CORRECT THE ACTS OF DEGRADATION BY THEIR PREDECESSORS AND THEREFORE NOT FIT GUARDIANS OF A NATIONAL HISTORICAL REGISTERED BUILDING .
I FIND THE “JUDGES OF TODAY” –
GUILTY OF WASTING TAXPAYERS MONEY IN THROWING DOWN THE GAUNTLET IN THE FIRST PLACE AND FORCING, THROUGH THE HIRING OF AN ATTORNEY (CHANDRA), MORE MONEY TO BE WASTED BY THE COUNTY.
BOTH PARTIES ARE FOUND
GUILTY OF WASTING THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION’S TIME IN A MATTER THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SETTLED AMONG THE RESPONSIBLE ELECTED OFFICIALS!
However, as Judge Burge likes to say the above is “moot” because what little of this edifice’s past glory is left will soon be gone as well- according to an email received on July 30th from Tim Lubbe:
….It is my understanding that the County Commissioners have determined that the Adult Probation Department is to be situated in the old Courthouse. While it is the Court’s position that the costs of remodeling this facility far exceeds the expense of relocating the Adult Probation department to the 5th floor of the Justice Center, nevertheless the Court acknowledges that it is the Commissioners prerogative to spend or misspend money as they deem appropriate.
Additionally, I would note the remodeling to be performed will strictly focus on functionality not historic restoration. In fact, any remaining historical features in the building’s interior will likely not survive this conversion…….
What a sad ending for a grand old lady!
I am so glad I come from a land (England) that recognizes the worthiness of history , the buildings , the craftsmanship of yesteryear. I cannot fathom the thinking of those that dismiss so lightly their own history- We are but the caretakers………. but most do not care……….