Posts tagged ‘parallel writing’

Freedom of Speech – USA- Really??? Pt 4

Who I Am  by  Chris Ritchey

Who I Am by Chris Ritchey

PART ONE
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/freedom-of-speech-usa-really/ Would I defend your right to have a differing opinion?

PART TWO

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/freedom-of-speech-usa-really-pt-2/

One man’s Cricket

PART THREE

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/freedom-of-speech-usa-really-pt-3/

Community Standards

Here we are back to the beginning and the “perception” that one has the right to share an opinion. The right to opine something that doesn’t sit well with a vocal majority- especially here in Lorain it seems. I have been around this block too many times to go on . Who is Watching the Watcher
( circa 2002)
You can read a lot here in back posts. I am not going to chew the cud twice,

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/10/13/non-quixote-tired-of-tilting-at-windmills/

because NONE OF WHAT I WRITE , ESPECIALLY ON THIS, WILL MAKE ONE BIT OF DIFFERENCE .

cole Ah this blog- it’s very name- THAT WOMAN , the monika given to me by, the now deceased Morning Journal Editor, John Cole. He took issue with me because I disagreed and he front paged “me” home address and all — using his newspaper’s clout when I “dared” come out against the big four - Foltin- Prudoff- Veard – and Cole when they wanted to put “condos” in what is known as Veterans Park- Lorain’s public green space since 1807-

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/veterans-memorial-park-fini/

I wonder what would have happened had those condos been built ? More section 8 housing downtown perhaps. Don’t scoff – Section 8 or now under the new more acceptable nicey nice name Housing Choice ( Vouchers) is very, very big business in Lorain and especially in the 44052!

For instance according to Ms. Carter of the LMHA

“housing choice vouchers alone pump 1.4 MILLION A MONTH
into Lorain County but The City of Lorain gets 64% of that money EVERY MONTH or approximately $900,000.00 PER MONTH COMES INTO THE CITY OF LORAIN-!!!

How about that BIG Business for you - lucrative one would say and that is just the “private” landlords and LLC’s .

Vouchers Per Zip Code
Amherst 44001 1.1%
Avon 44011 4.0%
Avon Lake 44012 0.6%
Col Station 44028 0.1%
Elyria 44035 23.2%
N Ridgeville 44039 1.1%
Grafton 44044 0.2%
LaGrange 44050 0.3%
Lorain 44052 32.5%
Lorain 44053 10.4%
Lorain 44055 21.3%
Sheffield 44054 1.5%
Oberlin 44074 1.5%
Vermilion 44089 1.3%
Wellington 44090 0.9%
100.0%

but The City of Lorain gets 64% of that money EVERY MONTH or approximately $900,000.00 PER MONTH COMES INTO THE CITY OF LORAIN-!!!
How about that? BIG Business at work for you – lucrative one would say and that is just the “private” landlords and LLC’s

Money-floating
If you look at the stats for the 44052- those landlords , property owners LLC etc are receiving the MOST of all the zip codes in the county. This 44052 zip code is receiving MORE than the WHOLE CITY OF ELYRIA. By my math 3.5 MILLION a year just from one agency. But at least LMHA have “building codes ” and hopefully enforce them , Of course then there are other rentals!

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/category/lorain-multi-property-owners/

You remember THIS area is where the Intelligencer ( members of the Downtown Consortium) want to promote , where the standards of the community are set, the seat of City Government , the “BUSINESS District” of Social Service Agencies, the historic district, the waterfront entertainment district, the 44052 the one place the city can expand and develop within its borders.

BUT far be it from me to point out any concerns about housing, the terrible building stock,
joshes sign
the number of RSO , parolees, the crime stats and wanting those with expendable income be part of the foot traffic. As legitimate, as I believe as those concerns are I would be pilloried as a nay-sayer and fly in the eye of the rose-colored visionaries. Because you see that is what happens ( and I have documented it for years!)
dog-with-bone-300x300
roverfest2014_banner_1200px
Back to Rover Fest!!!. I have no problem with a community setting its own standards, even if that bar is set lower than my “personal preference – vocal majority rules.

When Alex Olejko was in office, his administration brought in an ordinance with regard to obscenity. There was a bruhaha at the time, as I recall- I guess people were not so intimidated as to speaking out back then- that was of course before the “screen name only comments” in the media and internet blossomed into being and the 4th estate was supposed to be balanced .
obscenityres
I wonder is this ordinance still in effect? Was it amended by the electors for the events at Black River Landing as the Lorain Port Authority Board deleted their definition of obscenity for the event? It had to have been because there was all of that and more at the event and the enforcers of the laws were in attendance. – see videos Part three

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/freedom-of-speech-usa-really-pt-3/

or Google RoverFest 2014.

If I recall correctly , at the time it was decreed by the legal eagles – obscenity was to be determined by the standards of each individual community - hence the NEW standards – brought to you by local business consortium , the Lorain Port Authority and the City of Lorain. and I certainly didn’t see any of the “religious fraternity” objecting.

Objecting??? AKA the naysayers HUH?? you see even IF anyone had wanted to OBJECT to the event and NAY SAYED they were cleverly not given a chanceThe date the contract with the Lorain Port Authority was signed was APRIL- 2nd 2014. The official announcement JUNE 2nd. 2014

Now forgive me for speaking my thoughts, but how could ANYONE say NAY or stop or express concerns as to the “caliber and tone” of this event or the lowering the bar of community standards - IT WAS ALREADY A DONE DEAL!!! THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR A DIFFERING OPINION.. no one could say NAY!! ( I believe that is called in cricket “well-played gentlemen “) ( for those in doubt – sarcasm)

But this silly old woman, the neighborhood organization and neighbors had , what we believed, were legitimate concerns. Under our letter head we ‘BEFORE THE EVENT” WANTED TO EXPRESS THOSE CONCERNS TO OUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES IN GOVERNMENT- THE TAX PAYER FUNDED LORAIN PORT AUTHORITY ( where the event was being staged ) and the LORAIN POLICE DEPT. Both CVSI letters found here :
First Letter -
CVSI RoverFest request
Follow Up Letter
CVSI Formal request Rover Fest 2014 follow up

Now do forgive me, I always thought, and in fact had to learn to get my US citizenship – it was not only my right by also my duty to contact the representatives of government with any concerns. It is the right to be heard and to speak without fear

“The right to petition is fundamental in a Republic, such as the United States, as a means of protecting public participation in government.”

Our right of concern was seen as a threat and being one of the dreaded naysayers in the media comments as well as the “movers and shakers” of Lorain and by a puffed up potentate of the airways. Who also confused me with another who was voicing concerns- we ( I ) was taken down the “rover road” on the airways). I didn’t listen and didn’t care what was being said about me personally, but I do take issue when the organization that has worked to do something to add to this community was ridiculed and denigrated. There are “closet rover listeners”- and my phone would ring – he said this about you yada yada yada
.
When one city official was told that I was getting a little fed up with the blame game said “ well she shouldn’t have taken on the Howard Stern of Cleveland”

OH puuuuuuuuuulease !!! I have crossed words with 8 administrations and city councils , Congress , mayors outside Lorain , Senators , editors even the BBC in my time – I could care less about a radio show, with the format of bathroom humour, less comical, than a five year old just discovering he is a male.

City  of Lorain

ED NOTE: I would be remiss in not thanking the LPD and the City of Lorain who did follow through with the concerns we had with regard to the parking by Eric Barnes Heroes Walk and there were absolutely NO PROBLEMS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD OR AT THE SITE. WHICH WAS OUR PRIMARY CONCERN!!!!!

You would think that was the end of it- ah! no the chest beating began and still continues this morning . The editorials lauding the new success of enterprise. All well and good except, once again anyone who had pointed anything of a concern to them was now the subject of nahnana nah and the nay sayer labeling !

I watched , I listened as at least one person( of the 4 that I know of who voiced their thoughts under their own name) , that person, went ‘against the shock jock” using his own colorful language (deemed acceptable in Lorain now) and terminology and under their own name had ,their place of employment sought out – the fact he had a radio show and the implied threat of using the airways to his advantage against a lone citizen , in agreement or not went against the grain.
freesppech collage

Everyone has a right to their opinion in my world, even Shane French . Why should I get back involved in the muck and mire of having an opinion defending the right of those in apparently the minority of Lorain? Did I really want to get back into the fray- ( Part One) NO!

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/freedom-of-speech-usa-really/

But as I watched the bully beat of on going editorials, letters to the editor been there before , media and facebook comments -my son’s words kept playing over and over in my head .. KNOWING NOTHING I WOULD SAY WOULD CHANGE A DAMNED THING . Why should I ? Because as one person’s opinion is silenced by the weapons of embarrassment, and ridicule- 10 others look and learn the lesson and walk away- and that my friends is the insidious beginning of the death of free speech!

August 13, 2014 at 3:38 pm 15 comments

Freedom of Speech – USA- Really??? Pt 3

shanres

Shane French photo courtesy of his arrest and ensuing mug shot- the background changed to add to the ambiance ;)

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/local-news/cleveland-metro/shane-rover-french-handed-one-year-probation-4000-in-restitution-fines-for-july-4-fireworks

ED NOTE: Please note , as I predicted some of the Rover Fest material has “disappeared” from You Tube including the ” Sex Positions Game” due to “copy right infringement – you tube” choke choke choke cough cough”-

Yeah, well that is interesting however this “game” consisted of people having to come up with and demonstrate various sexual positions in 69 seconds – Oh dear another one of those not so clever double entendre… so is it the game that is copyrighted- or sex or is revisionist history and selective marketing taking place……. ? the 69 is “ninety six-ed” but then again maybe Rover Fest took out the copyright on sex games ;)

PART ONE
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/freedom-of-speech-usa-really/ Would I defend your right to have a differing opinion?

PART TWO

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/08/freedom-of-speech-usa-really-pt-2/

One man’s Cricket

Who I Am - Chris Ritchey

Who I Am – Chris Ritchey


PART THREE – WHO SETS COMMUNITY STANDARDS?
So here I am, an aging community advocate, who has been trying to change the “image” of Lorain’s oldest neighborhood for most of my time living here. But I have also had a share of life “outside” the mistake on the lake.And before Lorainites get offended, that is what was told to me by a US customs agent when I was returning back from a trip to London one year .

What is your destination

” Lorain Ohio-”

What is your business there?

“I live there” –

and then with a smile said Oh the mistake on the lake – why?-

“I am married to an American – I thought the mistake on the lake was Cleveland ” ?

No! he said that was the first mistake.. and stamped my passport .

“Coming from London all things are relative” said I and smiled and walked away !

Ah! to see ourselves as others see us ( paraphrasing Robbie Burns)

In my other existence, having been part of the UK record industry entertainment and promos,

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/kinks-culture-shock-best-of-british-pt-2/

I had to attend various “gigs”- some groups/ bands went off into the sunset, others reinvented themselves time and time again:

1938059-faces-rod-stewart-ron-wood-1971-617-409

Source Billboard

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/5820049/rod-stewart-confirms-faces-reunion-were-earmarking-2015

The Faces are an English rock band formed in 1969 by members of the Small Faces after lead singer/guitarist Steve Marriott left that group to form Humble Pie. The remaining Small Faces—Ian McLagan (keyboards), Ronnie Lane (bass), and Kenney Jones (drums and percussion)—were joined by Ronnie Wood (guitar) and Rod Stewart (lead vocals), both from the Jeff Beck Group, and the new line-up was renamed the Faces .

jock strapres
Yes, it is all passé to this aging activist. The bands that come and go through the decades trying to make the jocks shocked and vice versa are just another wannabe. .
The mosh pit ( of the BRL ) event is not the most recent of happenings

The term mosh came into use in the early 1980s American hardcore scene in Washington, D.C. Early on, the dance was frequently spelled mash in fanzines and record liner notes, but pronounced mosh, as in the 1982 song “Total Mash” by the D.C.-based hardcore band Scream. H.R. of the band Bad Brains, regarded as a band that “put moshing on the map,”

Pogoing attributed to Sid Vicious and the precursor to the 1980’s moshing and mosh pit with body surfing is decades old ( sorry to those that think they are at the forefront of cutting edge)

http://www.biography.com/people/sid-vicious-246010#synopsis

As 1977 came to a close, the Sex Pistols were arguably one of the most famous bands on the planet with vulgarity and obnoxiousness as well as Sid’s hardcore punk personality as the absolute key to their ever growing stature. http://www.biography.com/people/sid-vicious-246010#synopsis

YES! we of the older and jaded generation had the bad boys a long time before the latest money-making bad boys were even in diapers.

The record companies picked up the cost of damage done by the drunken, high , all for a good time audiences . The cost of the trashed hotels – the smoothing over of the police ( due to the amount of pot being smoked), the sex on the rocks ( literally) the schmoozing over the press! That was part of my job – damage control.

So bearing in mind the much-lauded “event” at Black River Landing and the latest incarnation of a “bad boy “ of Cleveland –

Black River Landing

I knew what COULD happen! ( emphasis on COULD) Therefore in my “old” damage control hat and not wanting the overflow of oafishness to effect my neighborhood – a letter was written – and I gave an interview to the Chronicle Telegram as to my concerns.

Anti  Political Correctness Ad by  Chris Ritchey

Anti Political Correctness Ad by Chris Ritchey

For those concerns and the concerns of the organization (CVSI) I, personally , was held up to ridicule etc on the a “radio spot” and in the comments section – not a problem -I know how the “system works” and I didn’t care that a self-professed shock jock- although astute businessman – was using the yin and yang to add to his “show” and “debate”.

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/the-old-lady-and-the-not-so-rockin-chair-rover-lorain

However, I was not alone in my thoughts and as things progressed it seemed anyone who had a concern , dislike or thought negatively about the “event”- aka RoverFest 2014- were taken on, insulted and ridiculed in the print media, the radio and elsewhere by, not only rabid fans of Rover, but in the very community of Lorain who were welcoming the thought of a few bucks being tossed their way by the overflow crowd and being “put on the map”!
dog-with-bone-300x300
They were IN MY OPINION ( which I am allowed to have -contrary to some) literally slathering and drooling over the fact 15,000 of the 18-34 male demographics would be “Coming on Downtown “ ( how’s that for a double entendre? ) Morning Glory not withstanding ….

poo band

Rover Fest had their very own hat tip to the past play on the of the Beatles Album – Sgt. Poopers Lonely Sharts Club Band Rover Fest 2014-
Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (June 1967)
You can find the video – all 25 minutes of singing about defecating – by Googling the title Sgt Poopers or you can scroll down to the last you tube link in this post and see the result of what was deemed acceptable by the Lorain Port Authority!

http://chronicle.northcoastnow.com

The authority’s Board of Directors lifted the authority’s ban on “offensive, distasteful or inappropriate” music at the behest of French, according to Rick Novak, authority executive director. “The board was aware that there was going to be obscene language and, in this case, they allowed it,” and with it the rest of the days entertainment what you could see through the smoke ;)

tits 2res
For those of us who “missed” the “entertainment” (at our tax payer funded Black River Landing on July 26th) some videos can be can be found here :
Mosh Pitt and Titties ( not my title)

WARNING these videos are not for some – BUT since the majority of those in business on Broadway- The Intelligencer Waterfront Intelligencer Issue 5 Brewfest Issue
and on the Lorain Port Authority Board ( see contract here )
Roverfest_site_application
as well as the City of Lorain government seemingly have absolutely no problem with the type of “entertainment” and keep the dollars rolling in crowd I am sure they won’t be among the NOT for SOME genre After all why would they ? THEY HAVE SET THE COMMUNITY STANDARD!!!!

The Failed Stripper

The Sex Positions game NOTE: THIS VIDEO APPARENTLY PULLED FROM YOU TUBE FOR COPY RIGHT ISSUES – SEE NOTE AT TOP OF POST)

sexgameres

now before the rest disappear you can find a compilation video here

a screen shot

The much looked forward to Miss Morning Glory

and the DUMP!

You can watch more of the entertainment by Googling Rover Fest 2014 ( You Tube)

TO BE CONTINUED…..

August 10, 2014 at 11:09 pm 12 comments

Freedom of Speech — USA – REALLY?? PT 2

Who I Am  by  Chris Ritchey

Who I Am by Chris Ritchey

PART ONE:http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/freedom-of-speech-usa-really/

Struggling still to sort out the conflicting thoughts”.

Where do I begin? and how did I get to this place of quandary?

I don’t like Cricket , but millions do and some of my best friends and close family love the game . I know very little about the game except for the Tea Pavilion
and the fact my Aunt Rene apparently dated one of the game most famous batsman Denis Compton.

Therefore, I stay away from Cricket matches and conversations, commenting or having an opinion on Cricket. It just isn’t worth the time and effort in sharing my uneducated opinion of the game-

One: I don’t know enough about it
Two- I am not the least bit interested in finding out about it.

Cricket is not a problem for me here in Lorain. a discussion about “Cricket rarely comes up , in fact I have never had a discussion with regard to “Cricket” in Lorain

I don’t like a lot of things that many of my closest friends and family like and also follow. None of us are ever in complete agreement with our interests or following. To each his own.

I don’t like reality TV ( personally ) if I want to watch dysfunctional life, I just need to turn on the local news .

Reality TV shows cost so much less to produce $100,000 to on the high end $500,000 on the other hand a “show” about a somewhat dysfunctional family Downton Abbey of $1.7 million dollars to produce per episode or another whey hey what is next in the Yorkshire Dales of Dysfunction “Last Tango in Halifax” at $2. million per episode

However as “cheap as chips” reality shows are highly successful as it seems the demographics of young people with expendable incomes are drawn to their product and switch on regularly .

http://source.southuniversity.edu/reality-tv-low-cost-programming-that-produces-high-ratings-119585.aspx
“Entertainment is a subjective thing, so where one thing is quality to one person, it’s not to another,”Manville says -
Scott Manville ( founder and president of TV Writers Vault

http://www.tvwritersvault.com/companyinfo/scottmanville.asp

I am not quite at the age where I have seen it all , but I have seen a lot of it and been a part of more than most in my “circle”

artwork Chris Ritchey

artwork Chris Ritchey

One of my “hats” as long time readers are aware is the “Co Chair of Charleston Village Society “- This is a non-profit organization founded in 1989 to preserve the quality of life and historical aspect of Lorain’s oldest neighborhood.

http://www.loraincounty.com/charlestonlorai/

However, when we first started out it was against the wishes of the then Community Development Dept. They didn’t want a “middle class clique” in the middle of their lucrative HUD funded “bank” . In point of fact, many obstacles were put in the way at every turn, which is WHY there is a Charleston Village Society today- I was young enough, energetic enough and passionate enough along with a few others to “fight City Hall” literally.

You don’t take on that particular fight lightly, especially when more than a few depended upon the city for their bread and butter- my husband included. Oh! there was quite the “back lash” then and since; the times when we were vocal and in opposition. Since I was the one not having a “regular job” and was available for meetings etc. I became the spokesperson, my name went out under the letter head as “secretary and co-founder” . The “village idiots” continued and a few months ago I was contacted about an event coming to our neighborhood.

And it turned out to be definitely “NOT CRICKET”
ED NOTE for the non Brits among you ‘ not cricket
phrase of cricket British informal
a thing contrary to traditional standards of fairness or rectitude.

August 8, 2014 at 10:56 am 1 comment

Freedom of Speech- USA- REALLY??????

Who  I  Am - Chris Ritchey

Who I Am – Chris Ritchey

I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.
or perhaps “I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.” Voltaire

There is some “discussion” as to the actual attribution to Voltaire http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voltaire but whomever interpreted those words or actually said them – they are very powerful words. Words, that a great many in this country and others who believe in freedom of speech” carry with them in their hearts.

Free Speech artwork - Christopher Ritchey

Free Speech artwork – Christopher Ritchey

But I ask you – WOULD YOU DEFEND TO THE DEATH THE RIGHT OF SOMEONE YOU DIDN’T AGREE WITH TO HAVE THEIR SAY?

Supposing you didn’t have to actually die to make your stand for the right of another to disagree or express a differing opinion ? Would you then enter into a fray – even though, although not death but, a verbal assault that would come with an , insulting, ridiculing and vicious back lash aimed at YOU for your defense of another’s opinion whether you were in agreement or not?

That is the question I am now asking myself – me of the supposed “higher principles” who has spouted off time and time again about “Freedom of Speech” – Freedom of thought “Freedom to Write”.

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/do-you-wear-the-chastity-belt-of-censure-why-do-we-give-them-the-power/

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/28/it-is-all-in-a-name-comment-or-commodity/

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/the-duelists-weapons-of-choice-words-and-who-is-your-2nd/

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/who-i-am-the-artwork-speaks-chris-ritchey/

Have I finally realized and acknowledged -I am a hypocrite? I talked a good game, got on my soap box time and time again – knowing that actually I never really made a difference but at least I registered my opinion and thoughts. . I had belief and passion but NOW – NOW in the world, so changed by the loss of my son – I am no longer passionate, no longer care or am I just beaten down by the uselessness of it all?

A recent situation in this tired and desperate City of Lorain has seen a seething , biting cat fight clawing at the right to have a differing opinion to the vocal majority.

This not so uninvolved bystander has watched as cyber bullying, on air bullying took the place of debate and I have stood by and watched as the rabid rhetoric of majority has pounced on the freedom of opinion and I have felt the ripple effect of it. It seems I won’t even stand up for myself so why should I make a stand for others .

Anti  Political Correctness Ad by  Chris Ritchey

Anti Political Correctness Ad by Chris Ritchey

Is it, as my son’s poster points out from a time when he himself was fighting for his own right of freedom of speech.

Speech can segregate you from everyone

that I am afraid of being alone????? – No! even that isn’t a good enough reason to stay away from the fray? I could be no more alone than my current situation of being locked in a world of hurt….. it isn’t that – I am at my lowest ebb – nothing people can say or do can hurt me more than the pain I already experience every waking moment .

So why don’t I, I who have the tools, to at least try to defend the rights of others? I look at my son’s artwork – he who was so passionate about patriotism , this country and freedom in all things and guilt comes crashing in – because I know he would have been disappointed in my lack of action – even if it makes no difference because – “at least you tried………..”

by Chris Ritchey   Freedom of Speech

by Chris Ritchey Freedom of Speech

To be continued … MAYBE

August 5, 2014 at 1:27 pm 7 comments

“Burnt out ends of smokey days- Lorain-Memory

memo

I have become a hoarder of memories………..

Memory -
Songwriters
T.s. Eliot;Andrew Lloyd Webber;Trevor Nunn

I sang that particular number, once a upon a time, in my days of theatre. I always identified with the lyrics – even more so now that my son has become a fading memory to the majority . The lines in bold – hold for me – a meaning of my life as morning dawns.

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember
The time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every street lamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the street lamp flutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn’t give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It’s so easy to leave me
All alone with my memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You’ll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun

Some times I wish I had selective Alzheimer’s so that certain people and the cruelty of those days are lost.

lombardivyka clan Lombardi, Vyka Clan …..a wedding of woe…

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen, I bury them, dismiss them in one of the smaller attics of my mind but every so often they tumble out bringing with them the dust of despair and disbelief.
Kencanscen

As my own memories have become more about my life today, I have discovered I have an affinity with others and how precious their memories are and were.

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/lorain-history-changes-kicked-to-the-landfill/

How I wish I could ask my grandmothers more about the stories they used to tell, how I wished I had paid more attention , how I wished I had asked about their mothers, fathers and grandmothers as they “remembered.

mybookI did have my mum write her memories down- but mum being mum wouldn’t write about the scandals of the day and to me the “more interesting” memories of “naughty stuff”. She has stored those way back in her attic memory and refuses to let me in…..

To Be continued …………….

April 22, 2014 at 12:52 pm Leave a comment

Computing ME and the Intensity of a Mother’s Love

dragcomputer

I have not downloaded the Dragon Software-
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/09/16/pc-beware-that-woman-pc-s-in-peril/
coward that I am , especially due to my once or should I say many times experiences of being bitten by technology. I don’t want to do anything which may mess with the latest expensive desk top and my myriad of files ( even though I can’t easily access them – thank you Windows 8!!!!). I decided instead to “persuade” my husband to download it to his lap top- he only uses it for recipes and solitaire anyway :). Knowing my penchant for wrecking technology he is understandably hesitant, although he did say

“Yeah, Ok but it will have to wait – I can’t find the microphone- I thought I had it in the box” -


As mentioned, I wanted to make a start on one of three books I have in mind .

I will start the old-fashioned way

thought I

until he gets around to “finding???” and downloading the dragon .

However, as I started on – page one- that has not worked out too well. The writing follows the direction of the “ME of the moment” that is in control of my emotional state. I started as defensive me, then angry me, depressed me, wounded me, apathetic me, logical me and then puddle me. The fragmented “ME” -I am now- all had a hand in the writing and editing and therefore it was a jumble. The 1st page has been revised more times than a politician’s platform . I can’t make up my mind and neither can my writing.

I feel inadequate, out of my depth in this instance . I thought possibly if I could “talk” the story first and edit later I might be able to make some sense when it came to a direction and editing.

I tend , because of the blog and many years of a column, to edit as I write. This isn’t going to work in this case- I am too much a part of the story. I am not a mere observer. I am a mother first , a mother who has outlived one of her children – there is a blame, a guilt a questioning of life or faith of everything that was “before” my son died , changing the ME.
chriarmsblur
I was checking my searches this morning and the search –

how intense is a mother’s love

brought the person to the following post:

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/05/06/mothers-day-what-degree-a-mothers-love-and-who-decides/
At that time, just weeks after my son died, I received a letter in my dead son’s clothes from my son’s “bride” the “healer”????? Angela Marie (Lombardi) Ritchey DO who made my love for my son something of a negative which “blinded me to who my son was” . I replied to Dr. Angela Ritchey in an open post-
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/i-didnt-know-my-son-chris-ritchey/

The wounded me , shaken me and just trying to “live and get through the days “me due to the loss of my son found it cruel and incredulous she would try to taint the memories I shared with my son. I refused to let her take anything more of him, she and her family had done enough.
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/12/11/december-11th-the-beginning-of-the-beginning/

Hence the rise of the anger me” and the bitter me“!

multiple-personality
Since that time the questioning me questions intent and the worthiness of some in the supposed healing profession.
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/black-box-warnings-take-heed-humira-etc/

I have realized, after these many months, the death of my son has not stopped my love for him, it is undying; if anything it grows with each “memory that should have been” is missed.

The love continues , but the love given to the son or daughter who is no longer among us has no outlet , no recipient. When Chris died , the part of me who was Chris’s mother died too. The other me- the daughter , the wife , mother of Nikki, grandmother of her children still lives and loves but I am fragmented from the “whole” . It is hard to find which “ME” will write the story but it will be “truth” no matter the ME .

Now whilst my husband is otherwise occupied I am going to look for that microphone !

September 26, 2013 at 11:17 am 2 comments

Sept 3rd- Tears Shed as Humour Found-Chris Ritchey

chriscia art

Texas and another September 3rd comes to mind today-
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2009/09/09/insidious-if/

- one that we thought might bring you a cure- not to be– the cures can also kill-

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/remember-the-kind-of-september-chris-ritchey/

and your body could not ( I found out later )take the amount of “curing” -
http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/september-3rd-war-movin-on-hell-truly-is-other-people-chris-ritchey/

not a swine related flu but Acute Pulmonary Toxicity .

http://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2012/06/03/concrete-in-the-lungs-june-3rd-chris-ritchey/

But it didn’t matter really did it – what catastrophic cause of the breakdown of your body which eventually took you from us – you are gone -from at least our reality.
crop2chris

As I looked once again through all your work trying to decide what you would want to put into the art show later this week – I was besieged by a thousand knives of my reality cutting ,slashing and ripping into what little strength I have with murderous intent — my brain flooded with so many memories – my heart mangled and wanting to stop beating – I couldn’t breathe, and then……..

“YOU”
Sleeping Homer

your ability to make me smile -just a silly little cartoon in amongst all the creativity , projects and seriousness –

fan pull- Chris Ritchey

fan pull- Chris Ritchey

I think of you as the fan above this desk continues to turn- I couldn’t reach the pull- after asking your dad so many times to get and extension to the chain -you took some wire and in just a couple of minutes made me one-

Hey mum you should know by now how to make men dance to your tune

It was weeks before I noticed my dancing man was anatomically correct— and I still smile every time I have to pull his leg to turn on the fan.

So yesterday I breathed once more looked through all the, work, photos and files and once again you spoke……… and thanks to you – a smile played once more on my lips as tears fell …….

September 3, 2013 at 12:24 pm Leave a comment

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