May Your Christmas be CRACKERS!!!

December 23, 2008 at 11:57 pm 9 comments

We Brits have some strange traditions, one is pulling Christmas Crackers, sitting around the table with funny paper hats , enthusiastically reading the awful jokes and delighting in the “rubbish” gifts that are to be found in the Christmas Crackers.
and OH ! those jokes are really soooooo bad
From the Sun article on this years worst Christmas Cracker jokes

Top 10 Worst Cracker Jokes

1. What is Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
( think about it ( Good King Wencelas and deep and crisp and even) GROANNNNNNNN

2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside.

3. What kind of paper likes music? (W)rapping paper.

4. What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake.

5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette.

6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.

7. What’s furry and minty? A polo bear.

8. How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.

9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.

10. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost.

Note: some of these are defintely on the “English” spin and understood by the Brits not “all ” the Americans will get these but you get the idea. They are just awful!

So there we sit in this household eating our Christmas dinner – the crackers ( in this house) are pulled between the main course and the Christmas pudding whilst I am heating the brandy to pour over the pudding to set it alight

the rest of the family are literally going crackers. It is great fun ( even if they all moan to begin with – my sophisticated lot really love the silly hats , rubbish gifts and groaning.

In June for my son’s rehersal dinner I had special “wedding crackers” made to lighten the mood along with all the elegance and as you can see the majority were wearing their paper hats, had pulled their crackers and read their jokes- of course the paper hats had to be colour co-ordinated 🙂


So for those of you who are celebrating anything at this time of year – HAPPY CRACKERS!!!!

Ed note: During this holdiay season there will be no scheduled blog posts – they will appear when time permits.


Entry filed under: Blogging, Brit take.

Carolers for the Palace- Check out the rest of the story The Cold – The Browns- The Brave

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tony Hines  |  December 24, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    Lorain and readers have a great Christmas from everyone in Lonond England.

    Love Tony

  • 2. Mark  |  December 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    Happy Crackers and a very Merry Christmas to you and yours, Loraine!!

  • 3. muley  |  December 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    like the snow….. 🙂

  • 4. Kelly Boyer Sagert  |  December 24, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    Merry Christmas! (I swear I can hear the groaning all the way from your house to here . . .)

  • 5. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 24, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party ?
    Freeze a jolly good fellow!

    What does Santa Claus use to weed his garden
    Hi Hoe hoe hoe!

    I hope you couldn’t hear the swearing as the talk turned to politics!!!!

  • 6. Buster  |  December 25, 2008 at 8:53 am

    Merry Christmas to you & your family, Loraine!

  • 7. Buster's Momma  |  December 25, 2008 at 8:54 am

    Um, that’s from all of us at the House, not just the boy. 😉

  • 8. Rich Robbin  |  December 25, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS to my friends in Merry Old England….
    and to my Lorain neighbors, may the peace of the holidays
    be in your hearts forever! Rich

  • 9. Kelly Boyer Sagert  |  December 25, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Loraine . . . that’s when I covered my ears . . .

    Merry Christmas, Rich!

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