CHRIS- MISS – TIME – Chris Ritchey

December 21, 2009 at 11:52 pm 6 comments

Christopher David RITCHEY

The name is and was RITCHEY some seem to have forgotten that fact.

This Christmas and Chris-Miss time I have learned lessons not found in any textbook , bible or retelling of the Dickens Classics.


1. I have found there is a parallel universe- and those that walk in my universe see the twinkling holiday lights and decoration- they are peripheral to our sight and touch – they, along with the new fallen snow- bring no joy as we continue on our journey. We walk unseen through throngs of people smiling with packages and laughter- they are seen but not recognized.

We, of the parallel universe, move through the same time and space not taking up space in that universe – a presence barely felt by those of the world of colour, noise and happiness.

2. Forgiveness- What is forgiveness? Is it just another way of enabling those that have wronged us? – Letting them go to their church held unaccountable by an act of forgiveness to pray on their knees , pillars of a congregation- acts of “christian charity ” recompense for a terrible and cruel wrongful wickedness– Forgiveness to start anew and continue in their way?

By forgiving does the wrong and pain lessen and for whom? Is forgiveness supposed to make me feel better?

I have learned that to truly forgive you have to understand the reasoning for cruelty and of the act perpetrated – My understanding , like my forgiveness also must live in a parallel universe- the one of Dickens and Christmas spirits where Good Will Toward Men ( and women) is the cry of the day is not the place I walk. The cry that is heard in my universe is a gutteral scream of despair and loss at cruelty in the name of love and honour.

Banshee ( Source)

3. The darkness I also walk in the alternative universe , the one that comes with the night . For weeks I woke from nightmares, heart pounding, drenched in sweat and tears, shaking with an inner cold and fear only to realize the nightmare was actually a better place to be than the nightmare that became my reality upon waking .

I no longer try and wake from my nightmares they are less frightening and painful than my reality . The space between sleep and waking finds me fighting to stay in a nightmare world of my own rather than the one where I have lost MY SON, my closure and to have to see what the decisions of others have done to those I love. The dreadful toll taken showing on the faces of those I love most is worse than any Banshee of the night

4. Kindness I have learned that the wonderfully kind and caring thoughts and acts of literally thousands of people who have read this blog, sent cards, called , emailed from all over the world cannot erase from hurt or memory the dreadful acts perpetrated and enabled by “The Committee of 19”


5. Truth and Transparency I have learned that most people really want a sugar-coated truth . The truth of raw emotion makes them uncomfortable . There are certain aspects when it comes to death that people want left in the place between myth and reality , not wanting to see the light of day angered when the niceties are replaced by the realities. I am unable, any longer, to sugar -coat.

6. Heritage I have learned that I am more complex than I thought I was and that the ancient culture from which I came is still within me. We truly are products of our heritage and ancestry. Whilst the community of my “home” struggles with my attitude it is fully understood by those of my ilk.

We may all walk the same path , go through the motions of living in a collective universe but it seems all it takes is the losing of one of your reasons for being “ compounded by acts of selfishness of culture and perceived faith to remove you to another reality and parallel path .


Entry filed under: Brit take, Chris Ritchey, Christmas, men of substance, personal opinion, weddings and funerals. Tags: , , , , .

Goodbye my “luvleyful” grandson- Chris Ritchey Christmas: The Day After- Chris- Miss- Christmas

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. dave cotton  |  December 22, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    That parallel universe can be most cruel… The “season of joy” can be profoundly empty to many of us. Shield yourself as best you can with the love of people you can trust.

    Thinking of you!!!

  • 2. thatwoman  |  December 23, 2009 at 1:14 am

    Thanks Dave…. the journey isn’t getting any easier unfortunately …….the misery continues…. and an unhealthy pall is settling around those I love… is a wound that cannot be healed……… an arrogance . and an ignorant behaviour akin to bullying and control…. actually considering there was more than one “enabler” involved – I could liken it to a “gang mentality “……I wonder if that would surprise them in their “perfect little suburbia and perceived stature in the community and their “committee of caring” YUK!!!!!” ……that they are actually no better than a street gang in the eyes that still weep for our loss………….

  • 3. Grammy  |  December 24, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Lorraine and family: I feel for all of you and wish I could do somethig to make it better, but I know that there are no words that will change any of this for you. Please know that your abiding faith in God will help you overcome the pain and while the sense of loss will always be with you in some form, you will find the strength to move forward. I can only tell you that time is the great healer to the extent you can heal. Please let those family and friends help you. May peace find you and your family and help you.

    With love and hugs, . . .

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 24, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Grammy , I know what you and yours are going through at the moment so I know and appreciate your taking the time to offer words of comfort to this family . My heart and soul is with you and yours in Columbus…. Loraine

  • 5. Eagles Nest Friend  |  December 25, 2009 at 3:31 am

    Thinking of you and yours on this supposedly joyful night.

  • 6. THIS “thatwoman” Blog « That Woman’s Weblog  |  February 21, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    […] will be writing about the arts, religion and other subject matter as seen in my parallel universe. The humour -probably dark – there is no laughter here but once in a while a giggle will […]

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