Archive for February 25, 2010

Twelve Weeks- Life’s Labours Lost – Loraine

Life has gone on for most !
I read the papers local and international on line- I no longer get enraged at the idiocy of mankind, or celebrate their triumphs.

I no longer feel I want to comment or care. But when someone does cattle prod me enough to get an opinion it is a short burst of the way I was before and then “why bother? people do what the hell they want anyway “- the apathy of grief kicks in.

I looked in the mirror this morning and do not recognize the old woman I see….

the blue of my eyes surrounded by a puffy watery redness and lifeless- gone is the laughter, passion suffocated by death and wickedness.

My skin seems to have dehydrated and aged, the scars of the “mask” leaving their tell-tale story etched where my smile used to be.

For two weeks , when sitting in ICU I had to wear a mask. I wore one for at least 17 – 19 hours a day. The problem was I was allergic to the mask – I developed sores under my nose and around my mouth )……One of the last sights seen by Chris was a little fat lady going grayer by the minute with a kleenex protruding from beneath the mask.

Life goes on but it is not the same nor will it ever be again.

“I watched you suffer a dull aching pain, and now you have decided to show me the same”

and Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away ( Mum)


February 25, 2010 at 5:57 pm 4 comments

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