Twelve Weeks- Life’s Labours Lost – Loraine

February 25, 2010 at 5:57 pm 4 comments

Life has gone on for most !
I read the papers local and international on line- I no longer get enraged at the idiocy of mankind, or celebrate their triumphs.

I no longer feel I want to comment or care. But when someone does cattle prod me enough to get an opinion it is a short burst of the way I was before and then “why bother? people do what the hell they want anyway “- the apathy of grief kicks in.

I looked in the mirror this morning and do not recognize the old woman I see….

the blue of my eyes surrounded by a puffy watery redness and lifeless- gone is the laughter, passion suffocated by death and wickedness.

My skin seems to have dehydrated and aged, the scars of the “mask” leaving their tell-tale story etched where my smile used to be.

For two weeks , when sitting in ICU I had to wear a mask. I wore one for at least 17 – 19 hours a day. The problem was I was allergic to the mask – I developed sores under my nose and around my mouth )……One of the last sights seen by Chris was a little fat lady going grayer by the minute with a kleenex protruding from beneath the mask.

Life goes on but it is not the same nor will it ever be again.

“I watched you suffer a dull aching pain, and now you have decided to show me the same”

and Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away ( Mum)

Entry filed under: Brit take, Chris Ritchey, death. Tags: , , , , .

The Unfinished Portrait- In search of Chris (RITCHEY) Lorain- an Open Letter

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grammy  |  February 25, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    …”One of the last sights seen by Chris was a little fat lady going grayer by the minute with a kleenex protruding from beneath the mask.”…


    What Chris saw was his loving Mom sitting by his side, trying to take away his burden and pain! What Chris saw was undefineable love! What Chris saw was an angel who he now has the opportunity to watch over! Children never see the imperfections we envision. Love transends . . .

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  February 26, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Thanks Grammy – I needed that—– this has been one Baddddddddddddddddd week for us – usually only a couple of us are drowning at one time this week we have all been in the water and life lines and strength have been difficult to find….so thank you I realy meant that…Loraine

  • 3. Diane Wargo Medina  |  February 27, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Hello Loraine- I have been back and forth for a few weeks to read your stories, I would like to give you a call if it ok with you, Think about you all, I have not forgotten..Diane

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  February 27, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Diane you can call anytime….I don’t go out very much the rawness won’t let me. . and not a good idea when you are “emtionally incontinent ” ..and eyes that cry most of the time get blurry so not too good when driving . in fact this morning as I type this after a night of wet pillows I am looking at a screen in fog……… they tell me it gets better.I don’t see how it can but I may get better at hiding the pain eventually….. but give me a call….. Loraine

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February 2010

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