Unfinished Portrait – The Artists

March 4, 2010 at 11:56 am 5 comments


Memories Ring by Nana THE ARTISTS

In search of my son- in search of me

Part One In search of my son- In search of me
Part Two Tourjours Moi-Always Me
Part Three Always Me – Always Chris
Part Four In search of My Son-
Chris Ritchey – Thanks

Part Five Dark Humour- Shedding a Light
Part Six- The Unfinished Portrait

Who are the artists and what do they contribute to your human masterpiece? Life experiences play a part in our development we know that, but why then are identical twins still different individuals ( their essence unique to them) even with the same DNA, upbringing and life ?

Chris, Nikki and Gavin – the last photo of them together- complete my little family – one last time

We can all look at our children or loved ones and see the physical family resemblance. I know for instance Chris had his father’s hands and feet , his grandfathers ankles ( thankfully neither child got the Bishop of Norwich’s ankles – that unfortunate happenstance is my cross and my mother’s and a couple of other family members to bear).

He had his great grandfathers hair-line, the colour of his fathers eyes and the shape of mine. His nose, actually his nose changed with the chemo-so I am no longer sure about that- I was the only one to notice – but then I was looking at him with my grandmother’s eyes.

His strength , Chris was amazingly strong and wiry, came from his grandfather (my dad)and his tolerance to pain but also his tolerance for pain medication.

But what about the intangibles ? Oh I know where Chris got his temper – ME, my father and his mother! It is not a learned behaviour in this family you are born with it – Gavin I believe has inherited some of that.

My Nikki ,on the other hand, although also “not suffering fools gladly” and a fighter does not share our temper. Nikki has more of her father’s traits and thankfully his side of the family’s ankles. Her great- grandmothers longer legs and shorter body.

Chris had the long legs of his great-grandmother but the longer body which gave him his height.

He was so much taller than the men on side of the Ritchey family and even his own grandfather.

In those strands of DNA and cells that come into being when we are conceived do they carry more than just the “physical attributes”? Do we also get the intangibles of our ancestors memories? Do those brain cells that form have within them information deemed important from others thoughts and experiences?

Why is my sense of humour so different from my mum etc. It is irreverent –Chris was too – Nikki is somewhere in between.

There is a gentleness in my mum an innocence and a hatred of confrontation, same as my husband ( although they don’t share genes)

Confrontation , well I admit I will confront anyone and anything, Nikki will too ( especially if she thinks she is in the right- a true child of her mother and great-grandmother 🙂

Chris wasn’t too keen “our drama” , which was a tad bit hypocritical and told him so on occasion, as he himself was very confrontational , bombastic and a slow build to release of anger.

How many times have I watched his face muscles tighten and the warning sign of his lips thinning and tightening, eyes narrowing, yes like it or not he was the proverbial pot calling the kettle……

Poster by Chris RITCHEY

Chris’ anger triggers I knew very well as what triggered his anger usually was the same trigger I felt. We had some explosive and “healthy ” releases around here through the years.

The last happenstance of that anger was the Saturday morning when he was told he would have to go back into the hospital because he couldn’t breathe- he truly hated hospitals.

I was pleased as he sailed the bottled water across the room , I breathed a sigh of great relief

“Oh thank heavens he still has strength and fight left in him “

I held onto that hope during the next few days – as the I remembered the force with which that water bottle was thrown.

I can’t write much about Chris paternal side – I don’t know very much – but as for my side well there is too much to cover. Starting with the Doomsday book and a traceable family tree on one branch that is documented back to the 11th century !
Great -Grandad plus many greats

To be continued ……

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Entry filed under: Arts, Brit take, Chris Ritchey, Love, men of substance, weddings and funerals. Tags: , .

The gift- Chris Coming to the surface!-The Complex- Complex

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Michael Hines  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    What a fantastic idea (the Family Ring) must of taken ages to make ‘Aunty’ has done such a good job you may well get request’s from others for Aunty to make them one!!!!! Great to hear from you you guys are always in our thoughts sending you all much love and many hugs Michael and Sonya XXOOXX

  • 2. Dawn Becklake (nee Hines)  |  March 10, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Loved the Family Ring Auntie and have caught up with all the things I missed and the new bits (Loraine) with your ‘Ancestors’!! Can’t see me on the tree though ha.ha.
    Where do you get all this info from & glad to see a picture of Uncle Roy – very handsome!! Think of you all – Dawn XXX

  • 3. Loraine Ritchey  |  March 10, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Oh you are on there .all of the family are on there 🙂 well the info comes from Great Aunt Nell ( on Nanny Bunyan’s side ) and government records UK… I am still trying to track down the Lucky Cooper Henderson offspring but haven’t had any response yet from the Hertiage Center ( said I would pay 🙂 but if I haven’t heard anything by next week I will give them a ring.or maybe send a family member on a journey ( hint hint) Loraine

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