Archive for March 30, 2010

It Is Only Words, BUT Words Are ALL I HAVE-

My Darling Gavin :

This week a year ago I saw your little face for the first time as you burst into life on this planet. You have been firing on all cylinders ever since. You make us smile, demanding our attention every minute you are not asleep. Your little body giggles with mischief and deviltry. You are a wonder! I watch you as you discover the world about you unafraid to try just one more thing.

Those stairs were just MADE FOR CLIMBING, then there is the big window, where is the dog – he is always up for a game , and what is down that hallway ? If I push the drum in front of me they will think I am playing with my toys and I can make it to the back door..Oh look I can walk ( sort of)…

Your thoughts are written all over your little face, you are a joy and a spark of life amongst all the sorrow.

Gavin, your Uncle Chris wanted so much to be a part of your life. He didn’t get to spend a lot of time with you but he loved you , that I promise you .

The night you were born he was in a hospital undergoing the first of two stem cell transplants, but he was on the phone with your mummy the whole night. They traded cell phone pictures back and forth that night, he talked to her , kept her going when she was tired, making her laugh when she was scared.

When you were born and we knew you were a boy , he was the one that called family and told them

“It’s a boy!!!”

Your Uncle Chris was so excited , he had great plans for you , he wanted so much to be a good Uncle. You were the first person he wanted to see when he got out of that hospital room and on April 10th he saw you for the first time.

He was a little nervous Gavin as he had never held such a tiny baby before but he held on tight to you.

Whilst your “Nag Nog”(me) stayed with him in Texas he would talk about you and what he wanted to do for you . He wanted to teach you to play soccer, ( said with your big hands you would probably end up in goal).

He bought you the cowboy belt in Texas and we went looking for a hat and he made me buy the camouflage fleece bunting rather than the blue one I was planning on.

Your Uncle Chris discovered a love of horses in Texas, and even I managed to get my more than ample rear end on one. He and I went riding through the Texas brush, but just like you -your Uncle Chris was straining at the bit to get his head down and gallop. He was strong and incredibly brave and I promised him in Texas he would always be a part of your life. I had thought in a different way than it has unfortunately turned out to be .

I knew what your Uncle Chris wanted to buy you – a horse- (well not just yet )but he said to me after that very hot ride in Texas.

“When I get through this – I am going to buy some land and a horse and I will buy Gavin his first pony “

He couldn’t keep that promise to himself or to you Gavin. He is unable to be part of your life in the way he wanted to be, but he loved you just as he so loved your mummy .

Your first Christmas had a “Chris Miss present” under the tree and whilst it was a little big for you at first you have managed to “gallop”.

I will keep my promise to my son , your Uncle Chris and there will be a present for you always from him , one that I know you and he will appreciate. Although I am not sure mummy and daddy will always agree with the choice 🙂

And on my part my little “beautiful boy” I will take all the words I have written and will write about your terrific and wonderful Uncle Chris and save them for you – because that is all I have are my words and memories but know this Gavin he also left you words – words from his heart to help you grow.

From Your Uncle Chris ( Your mummy has the original artwork)
No 1 in the series-



March 30, 2010 at 11:06 pm 15 comments



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March 2010