Love plus Loss does not equal Logic

April 3, 2010 at 12:02 am 5 comments

Logically , I know by just looking in the mirror each morning, seeing the pain etched upon your Dad’s face or the slump of her little shoulders as I watch your Nana , or the blue eyes of your sister, as they too stream with tears at any given moment, that you have now left us for 4 months .

So why is it that when I do venture out of this house, gearing myself up not to have “emotional incontinence “ and thus embarrass those around me and I see a Black F 150 Ford Truck I immediately look for you as its driver?

Why do I know that you will never be calling again but at 9:01 pm ( the time you used to call) my ears strain for the sound of a ringing phone?

Why do I expect you to walk in the door everytime I hear the latch click?

Why do see or read something and immediately think

“Oh I must tell Chris “

Logic has nothing to do with Love or Loss ……..

WILD HORSES

” I have my freedom but I don’t have much time”

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, Love, men of substance, personal opinion. Tags: , .

It Is Only Words, BUT Words Are ALL I HAVE- Her son’s voice

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grammy  |  April 3, 2010 at 12:30 am

    It’s four and a half years and I still am waiting for the door to slam closed or the “Hey, Hon, I’m home!” Life’s tough, but we must finish our task here before we can go there to be reunited.
    Figuring out what it is that we need to finish is the confusing part, but we must keep going. Maybe for you it is Nana, or Gavin, or your hubby, or your commentaries to motivate someone to action.
    Keep hanging in there, peaceful times are ahead.

    Love and hugs,

  • 2. thatwoman  |  April 3, 2010 at 10:53 am

    hour by hour you do what it takes……… I am dealing with thoughts and emotions I never thought existed…… Logic isn’t one of them though 🙂

  • 3. Lisa  |  April 3, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Thinking about you today and every day.
    Sending you much love and peace, my friend.
    It was good to see you yesterday.

  • 4. thatwoman  |  April 3, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Yes , I managed to deal with another trigger……. deep breaths….. and I got some ideas 🙂

  • 5. dave cotton  |  April 4, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Music and certain odors/fragrances are some of my triggers… It takes a long time to let go.
    You are wise to keep your pace of hour by hour, if that is what works for you… Somewhere down the road you will realize that it has become day by day . . . It will get easier to bear. But you have to go at your own pace.
    Hang in there!

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