When Vanity and Mum’s advice combine to save a life!

April 27, 2010 at 8:39 pm 6 comments

There are those of us that grew up with

“Make sure you always put on clean underwear in case you get into an accident”

I was never sure why having clean underwear was needed in case of an accident- I thought perhaps it would help , the nurses, doctors, etc. might take better care of me. I didn’t argue with my mum – I have just made sure that I have clean knickers on all the time- you never know!

Although the Eat your Brussel sprouts there are starving children in India” usually brought forth ,

We could send them my Brussel sprouts!!!!

Monday night was a bad night in this house. I was having a hard time dealing with the events of recent days .

Now every Christmas , birthday etc I receive pajamas ( big ones- ones you can get lost in – cuddle in -expand in) . I have lots of pajamas. I would live in them if I could -just like Hugh Hefner .

However, something strange happens in this house when a matching set of pajamas disappear down the laundry chute in the upstairs bathroom somehow when they reach the basement- something happens- they never come back upstairs as a set.

I have given up over the years –so what if the bottoms and jackets don’t match– I am sure my husband of many, many years no longer is looking for me to “match”- He would probably be more impressed if my hair stayed the same color from week to week or I purchased “snore no more”.

So Black Mood Monday found me wandering the house unable to sleep , trying to deal with the flood of emotions that were beating me up. I finally headed for bed at 1:30 am. hoping that the sheer emotional exhaustion would act as a sleeping pill. I lay staring at the ceiling, the walls , trying to rid my brain of all the thoughts and hurt and listening to my heart beat pounding in my ears.

” I will never get to sleep with this pounding in my chest… Wait a minute!!! SHOULD I be hearing my heart beat in my ears? SHOULD my chest be pounding … Oh horrors….my pajamas were clean but mismatched… what should I do? Should I get dressed put on clean underwear? Supposing the ambulance came and horrors of horrors they would find an overweight woman that they would have to get downstairs in mismatched pajamas. Aren’t you supposed to cough to get the heart in rhythm when having a heart attack? Damn the aspirin are downstairs- I can’t be carried out in circus tent like pajamas for all the world to see”

Someone tell me – are these the thoughts that flash across your mind when you think you are dying? – I thought it was supposed to be your life flashing before your eyes in your final minutes- not the state of your pajamas ( or underwear) . Come to think of it that may happen when you are drowning- Note to self the next time I fall in the pond I will try to pay attention!

Well I got up , coughing with every step to counteract the dreaded heart failure before I found matching pajamas My heart racing even more now with the added worry of where I could find a good pair of matching pajamas at 2 in the morning in the laundry area that has been likened to “Ohio’s latest disaster area”..

Would I be found in the light of day face down in a pile of pajamas – ?


Success!!!! I found a pair that matched, showered again and changed ( which totally woke me up) and I realized that the effort and focus of finding pajamas had helped the anxiety and blackness I had been feeling to dissipate . My heart was no longer pounding in my ears and now wide awake I went to the computer and wrote another post.

How many people can say their life was probably saved by mismatched pajamas and their mother’s advice of “clean knickers”?

But I now have my emergency kit packed and ready to go. Also I have written “my own Obit”! I certainly don’t want published what others may think of me 😉

NOTE: “He who thinks he should be obeyed ” and Misty slept through the whole episode! Of course in my husband’s defence he probably thought I was snoring!!!!

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Entry filed under: Brit take, death, health, humour dark and otherwise. Tags: .

Unreal reality- the sorrow that chokes Good Afternoon Neighbor!!!

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. BTB  |  April 28, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    You are not alone! Back in January I had a severe case of bronchitis. My weezing, high fever and inability to to breathe woke me up at around 2 AM. Assured I needed to go to the emergency room, I looked at what I was wearing (very old long sleeved t-shirt and flannel lounging pants) and thought … no way. So I took a shower (even did a quick leg shave) and got into clean, newer sweat shirt & lounging pants. The hot steamy shower must have helped. The weezing and breathing was better. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one!

  • 2. thatwoman  |  April 28, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Well that makes two of us….I didn’t think to shave my legs.. now you have given me another worry 🙂

  • 3. Dawn Becklake  |  May 7, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Well that made me laugh Loraine. Just opened up all my e-mails from the last 5-days (been with Lyn). Also had a funny from a mate which I will pass on too. Glad I am not the only one with irregular heart-beats and waiting to ring the Ambulance – at least it gives me hope and will think of you next time! As regards the knickers my Mum used to say the same so guess it came from your Mum!! When cherise went backpacking in Aussie because of lack of facilities she used to turn hers inside-out!! I did give her a pack of paper-ones to take with her as a pressie! Good to talk yesterday. You are sounding better with all this confrontation to deal with! XX

  • 4. thatwoman  |  May 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I think they got it from their mothers , the clean knicker advice that is 🙂 well I fluctuate being pain and anger.the anger keeps me upright and I am very angry at the moment …. talk to you soon….. Loraine

  • […] Regular readers know I have a thing about pajamas from Hugh Hefner and Me ( written on the defunct WoM. and how they also saved my life https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/04/27/when-vanity-and-mums-advice-combine-to-save-a-life/ […]

  • […] Although Nag Nog pleaded that she hadn’t studied all the issues and didn’t want to “vote for the lesser of two evils” – Mummy and I struck whilst the iron was hot and Nag Nog wasn’t in her pajamas for once! […]

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