Who am I today?

May 19, 2010 at 10:53 am 12 comments

Which part of the broken fragmented Loraine will sit at this keyboard? I don’t honestly know from one morning to the next.

As I have said I am no longer “in charge” of me . I am controlled by outside forces that pique an emotion that presses the button to bring out the corresponding fragmented part of me. This is evident by just “some” titles of the draft posts that are waiting to be published, for example:

Unfinished Portrait – The Artistic Gene ? Part Two –

“Settle his wife down”- Hope in Hell my friend!!!

IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church- Part One

Part Two

Loraine Ritchey died today – Obituary to be published

What is culture/ religion/heritage

What Was She and They Thinking- I would just go away?

The State House comes down

True Meaning- My son- Chris RITCHEY-

” The Viscious Vigilantes”

“The Answer is Written on the Blog”

Africa, France and Canada Tree Top Travel

When a Death is a Divorce

They are all written just waiting to see what fragmented part of me is in charge to hit publish.

Today, obviously, is one of indecision and “waffling” I had written the “Vicious Vigilantes” piece for publication.

It is pretty strong- I have not minced words about my thoughts- I have very little tolerance left in my fragmented world.

I stand behind everything I write, and have on occasion dealt with the idiot fringe with no problems but that was the “old Loraine”– this “pieces parts Loraine “has to weigh the pros and cons of bringing more “sock puppets, persons of nom de plumes, the unwanted and the fringe fruitcakes ” into my world and to deal with their “detrimental diatribe debating style”.

I have very little of the “strength “ fragment left and I have to hold it in reserve.

In my parallel world my tilting at windmills has become part of history. I don’t know when or if ever that will return so I waffle and hope that someone takes up the gauntlet and “tilts at windmills”.. There is always a price to pay and today I am “broke (n)”.


Entry filed under: Blogging, grief, personal opinion.

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12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Paula Tobias  |  May 19, 2010 at 11:44 am

    You have such a gift for writing,something I’ve always been envious of. I’m more of a 3 bullet points type of writer. I’ve had few say it’s hard to decipher some of your thoughts, for example:

    ….this “pieces parts Loraine “has to weigh the pros and cons of bringing more “sock puppets, persons of nom de plumes, the unwanted and the fringe fruitcakes ” into my world and to deal with their “detrimental diatribe debating style”. …

    Can I condense to say…
    There are individuals who are hiding and making undocumented accusations in public forums that frustrate you (and many others of the quiet majority).
    You’re considering going off on them if you had the energy?

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 19, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    YUP you could think that. 🙂 …… trouble is when you “go off “on the nom de plumes…. you end up bringing them into your world. And lets face it how many are there are they 2 people writing under 5 names for instance? You can’t really ask a non entity to have civilized debate or trust their thoughts etc. as they “don’t exist in reality ” they are also part of a “fragment of a whole”

    I have found for instance that you could be sitting at a function at a table with someone you thought was a nice enough person, charming even only to find out that their on line personna unleashes insulting rhetoric etc against the very people they sat and talked with only days before……. why not when they sat down face to face with those same people? Because that would have taken GUTS and Courage of your convictions…..

    saying that I am not feeling so courageous at the moment – “choosing my battles” no room to take on more 😦

    And I just don’t have the will or the strength to debate the “nom de plumes and non existent” as I once did…….. That being said hiding behind their other personna they can do a lot of damage to the truth and others with no accountability and it is funny actually because most of them in their “posts” are “on a “demanding accountability ” platform ……..ironic to say the least…. demanding accountability when they themselves as a nom de plume hide from accountability of their actions .

    I know sometimes things I write aren’t really clear to the reader ( unless they are in the know 🙂 BUT I promise you at the end of the day all will be made clear as you trundle along with me on my journey …..

    Writing has a beginning and middle and an end…. you are all in the middle at the moment …..where things aren’t clear and interspersed with “commercials( advertisements if you will of all things Lorain…… but

    THE ANSWER IS WRITTEN ON THE BLOG 🙂 will mark the Finis I hope……..

    We are so used to sound bites and condensed and technical writing of bullet points it is hard to sometimes adjust to the “continuing story ” style ….

  • 3. Grammy  |  May 19, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    Continue to write however the mood at the moment finds you, BUT, keep on writing. You’ve inspired me to write a very personal piece for my children, so they will come to know the Mom and Dad from a different point of view. Hopefully they will get a laugh, smile and insight into who we really were. Whatever they get, I’ve at least written. It doesn’t have to make sense, be logical, it just needs to be you at whatever point you are at the time you write whatever. The joy is in the sharing, so is the healing.

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 19, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    I have left “letters” for the ones I love.just so they don’t have to 2nd guess…..I hope they get a smile too….and hopefully I will have to update them year to year 🙂

  • 5. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 19, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    You know come to think of it I might even write a couple to those I don’t love 😉 tell them in no uncertain terms what I really feel about them can’t argue with the dead or sue can you 🙂

  • 6. Ngaire  |  May 19, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Procrastination – an excellent form of self-preservation!

  • 7. Grammy  |  May 20, 2010 at 12:50 am

    I like that second set of letters idea. Unique and no arguing. Fun!!

  • 8. nicholas  |  May 20, 2010 at 3:11 am

    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this blog. Grammy is on the money by my way of thinking. You write however you like. You are a very capable writer and a gem. Whether you want to engage in an argument with an electronic poser is a question of utility. A person’s thinking on a matter can sometimes be better illuminated through the exchange, and people reading you would benefit from your response, both in tone and content. The poser himself is not the goal of the person advancing the argument, but rather the audience. Now, given that, it does often require a bit of effort, and only you can know if it is worth that effort.

    I will say this That Woman can flat out write, and should be free to do so.

    If you end up with a bit of a troublesome hassling headache back on the home front, drop me a line as a comment on any post you like.

    I’ll be back for you.

  • 9. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 20, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Thatnks Nicholas for stopping by and right back at cha! 🙂

    Grammy I think my letters to those I don’t love …. might be an idea for a post and a guess the source quiz 🙂

  • 10. Grammy  |  May 20, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    Good Idea!

  • 11. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 20, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    Yeah it could be a reverse twist on the sock puppet and nom de plume posters instead of reading the “blog post” and trying to guess the author.you will know who the author it ( Me) and try and guess the “subject ” 🙂

  • 12. COW-elle – Are you ready? « That Woman’s Weblog  |  May 21, 2010 at 11:30 am

    […] Comments Loraine Ritchey on Who am I today?Grammy on Who am I today?Loraine Ritchey on Who am I today?nicholas on Who am […]

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