IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church Part 6 –

July 1, 2010 at 10:22 am 14 comments

IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church- Part One
IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church- Part Two
IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church Part Three.
IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church –Part Four
IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church – Part Five

I waited,wept and wrote on this blog ( for which “for the most part is “ignored” 😉 and then on March 26th just one month to the day after I had sent a letter via the international real mail to Archibishop Foley I received a beautiful cream coloured envelope in my mail box.

The feel of the envelope and the paper is silk like – admittedly I thought as I went to retrieve my reading glasses

This will be just a thank you for your thoughts or another form letter

but I was pleased I hadn’t been ignored.

However the letter was so much more than I expected- Oh I expected the legal right issue and the perspective of the Roman Catholic Church re “family” to be in the main body of the letter

( those aspects were not going to be news to me – I already knew that perspective and expected them to be front and center)

BUT what pleased me was his man had actually read the letter and the enclosed letter that I had sent to Bishop Lennon and Father Divis. And for once in this whole debacle I had been heard and acknowledged by the very church that I feel enabled the taking of our closure – I hadn’t been ignored!!!!

The opening paragraph :

“I was sorry to read that you have not received an acknowledgement from either Bishop Lennon or Reverend D. Divis at the time you wrote me; I hope that has been rectified by now.”

ED: Note : Sorry Father – not one word has come through from the illusive Bishop Lennon or Reverend Divis… even though you also cc’d your letter to me to the said Bishop Lennon as of today July 1st 2010.

” I hope you will be able to forgive Angela”

AH! so it seems John Cardinal Foley -Grand Master Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem believes the actions of Angela require my forgiveness and therefore follows what she and her family did was wrong ……SIGH!!!! Thank you very much Archbishop…my thoughts all along.

I sent one of Chris cards , hand written, to the Archbishop thanking him for his thoughtfulness, his concern and the fact I hadn’t for once in this whole Roman Catholic scenario been “IGNORED”

I also stated to the Archbishop to forgive one has to understand the reasoning for such an emotional abusive ( in my opinion) act that was perpetrated NOT IN THE NAME OF RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE” – and to be able to forgive I would first have to understand and I don’t– had this been about faith, family beliefs, that I could have understood and actually no forgiveness would have been required

This as these many months of writing and exploring “our story” have pointed out to those that read and to this family this had nothing to do with faith or religion- but “CONTROL”, with a possible side of vindictiveness – certainly wasn’t about faith or honor!

IN THIS JOURNEY OF DISCOVERING MY SON AND ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS BROUGHT ABOUT BY 2ND GUESSING BECAUSE OF ANGELA’S ACTIONS- I have more of an insight which will be revealed at the end of my journey . And the journey will end eventually just not quite yet.

But for all of those that have been ignored here is one for you !

Click the letter to enlarge.

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, hell is other people, journey, Love, Mothers, personal opinion, religion, weddings and funerals. Tags: , , , .

IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church Part 5 No. 7- Chris Ritchey-

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grammy  |  July 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I am so very glad for you that you actually received a response. That, though very small, is a comfort. Someone actually listened. So sorry I did not get a chance to speak to you in person when I was in Lorain, mitagating circumstances pulled me to New York state for two days and then I had to return home. The Settler’s Watch is lovely. You and your coherts did a very nice job. Thanks to whomever created the G out of bricks for our angel Gabriel.

    With thoughts of peace,

  • 2. thatwoman  |  July 1, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Grammy I started to write an answer but as I wrote I realized I was actually writing a post one that maybe will give some insight 🙂 so watch the blog for the title “For Grammy “coming up in a few days possibly – depending how life goes or doesn’t ….Loraine

  • 3. aylin  |  July 2, 2010 at 2:31 am

    Loraine, that was a great response and I am glad that he acgtually apologized for the lack of response from his Bishop Lennon an Rev Divis. It’s a travesty that he even had to do apologize for their gross neglect.

    I was going to suggest some path to forgiveness sometime ago of the Lombardis because I can not see freedom from this depth of pain without forgiveness. I didnt suggest it in the past, however, as I feel my lack of experience in life would have implied that I was arrogant or dismissive.

    He is correct though, that forgiveness is the way to peace and to free you from this chain. Anger is like walking around with a bad piece of raw meat, it stinks everywhere it goes. In the spiritual world, this is so with people, anger and sin. It’s dark and it keeps you down and doesnt allow for the healing process to begin.

    How does a mother who has gone what you have gone through even fathom forgiving the one(s) who inflicted such pain? I have been asking this for you, but I think the only way is through prayer. Prayer from others and prayer to God from you. I am sure this is much easier said than done and it all takes much time, but truly, ALL is possible with God.

    I have never lost a child and pray that I never do, but I am offering what I have and I hope you know this comes from the heart. I am so grateful that you were affirmed by this letter. Finally, someone reached back to you and it was a positive experience. Good for you and your steadfast nature. I can tell you just dont stop for nothin’ – it is one of your greatest gifts, I am sure.

    Take care.
    aylin.

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  July 2, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Forgiveness in my world is a two way street – as the acts perpetrated are still even after 7 months causing great pain and distress to those I love. every moment …… As I said – I am not sure where I am in the “divine world” and in my practical world ” for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” I am the opposite reaction and the reaction continues because the original action continues….

    from the defintion of forgiveness….
    “In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.

    I would like to be able to follow
    “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). path

    but you see the difference is that THEY DID KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING” and as Angela states this wasn’t anything tto do with religion.. .. this was about exacting her amd mombardis pound of flesh from me and control- I gather-

    Their church and their religion have to forgive them for lapse in their christianity and I am sure that the church etc has now moved on ( or would like to from their lapse) if only that irritating “that woman” would just forgive and move on-

    the committee of 19 have and their cohorts of control. have- the difference being we loved our son they have put what is left of him in their little marble box .covered him in dirt and will give him the hat tip of a designer headstone . to bring out their grief on anniversarys of birthdays and holiday ‘s so they can say they remember and pay homage.. and what good people we are ..this act was for them and their “show”

    – I have to deal with the fallout from that decision and to try and give closure…………

    and you are right during the normal course of my life I am one of the most tenacious people you wil ever meet but in this I have an added force that is driving me….one of love .which is the strongest thing there is ….

  • 5. aylin  |  July 2, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    You are tenacious indeed, Loraine – and that is why I am so confident in you that you will find closure and peace throughout this journey. Those who seek, shall find. You will get there, but this is a heavy burden and painful road, I can feel it in your writing.

    One can forgive, but still be angry. Anger is a normal human emotion and actually, part of the process of forgiveness.

    I see clearly that you are able to partition your anger, to not act on it. This is part of what is involved in forgiving a person. It means a willingness to let go of the anger someone has prompted in us, even if it’s going to take a while before the feeling goes away. This is frequently what we are after when we ask others to forgive us: that they be willing to let the anger go.

    Paul makes the exhortation “Be angry” because anger is part of human nature. It isn’t just something that we inherited from Adam. Even Jesus himself got angry. Anger is something God designed into us, just like he designed it in certain other creatures. It plays a useful function. It motivates us to protect things that need protecting, whether they are tangible (like family) or intangible (like reputation).

    It doesnt mean in forgiveness that there will ever be great feelings or that you will ever trust the Lombardis again. In fact, that would mean letting go of your reason. However, it does mean, that you would not wish anything but justice at the end of the day. We all have to account for our actions at some point. This, we know, for certain.

    Because Angela so clearly stated, “This is not for religious reasons” – it seems as if she was intentionally grasping control over what she could not control (Chris’ disease) and the anger must be boiling inside of you like a volcano. It is righteous anger. I cant even imagine; and your righteous anger, even through the Church’s eyes is justified. You are not even obligated to forgive because Angela hasn’t asked for your forgiveness; however, I am praying for you on this journey, not for them, but for you to get resolve in an already difficult circumstance.

    All my best.
    aylin.

  • 6. aylin  |  July 2, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    P.S. Because you quoted Luke (my eldest son’s name, BTW), I also wanted to quote Luke. This is the part of my letter above where I said to you that you are not obligated to forgive them.

    Consider Luke 17:3–4, where Jesus tells us, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

    Notice that Jesus says to forgive him if he repents, not regardless of whether he repents or not (and we know, Angela has not). Jesus also envisions the person coming back to you and admitting his wrong. This would be the ideal situation in such circumstances. Perhaps, she will, the rest of the story has not yet unfolded.

    Ok, that’s enough of my aylin2cents worth. This journey is a lot for one mother to take on; but as I said in the begining, those who seek shall find – and I am confident, you will.

    Take care.
    aylin.

  • 7. thatwoman  |  July 3, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Thanks again Aylin, I do appreciate the time and concern that you spend here- your comments always give me something to think about and I do . I can compartmentalize most things and I can see the others point – what I have found though that this loss of Chris ( his death) not what happened after but the loss of him in our lives refuses to be compartmentalized or to be brought out when we are alone.it is a living thing this grief it demands to be released.

    As far as Angela and her parents etc. in other circumstances I would “file and forget them”… they are not worth my emotion or my time but my husband, Nikki , my mum and family and Chris are….it isn’t the “MOMbardis” that are the force behind my tenacity in this .to me they are nothing , they raise no emotions ( in and of themselves) ( some may find that hard to believe…. but it is true..) .. I just want closure for my husband and my child…… ( that will be another post 🙂

  • […] on No. 7- Chris Ritchey-Lisa on No. 7- Chris Ritchey-thatwoman on IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church Part 6 -No. 7- Chris Ritchey- « That Woman’s Weblog on VI -(pers) – […]

  • […] the “Holy Mother ” you worship forgive you for the anguish, pain, and anger you and your child have caused for […]

  • […] fire from the sky had his beliefs too. We are just as ignorant and in more than one occasion lately it is the ignorance rather than the compassion that is at the […]

  • […] I have written extensively about the hypocrisy of those that have power in the “organized church” and members of their flock ( locally) . https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/ignorestance-and-the-roman-catholic-church-part-6/ […]

  • […] ( especially the Roman Catholic Church- who enabled the taking of my son)- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/ignorestance-and-the-roman-catholic-church-part-6/ […]

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