For Grammy – The Journey- The Comments- Chris Ritchey
I get lots of comments most of them off the blog .
Some of them question,
Some just “hold my hand” ,
Some are worried I am becoming obsessed 🙂 –
Some feel what has happened is a private matter –
Some are just uncomfortable that I am touching upon the “realm of death and religion” this muddying up the perception of the other world- the non sugar-coating is making things a little uncomfortable. And let us face it no one likes discomfort and yet the stats tell it all ……….there is an interest !!!!
So why do I write about this most uncomfortable of subjects and situations. I have explained here and here as to the reasons I am exploring every avenue of what happened to us in this “OUR STORY”-
The “story” of romance, death, thievery, ill-gotten gains, heros and heroines, religion , politics, lies and deception, cold cruelty , kindness, love and bitterness.
Truth and transparency has always been important to me in other aspects of my life- why not in this?
Uncomfortable as it is to read at times it is our truth and our life and journey at the moment.
Grammy said :
That, though very small, is a comfort. Someone actually listened.
I started to reply :
The letter from the Cardinal/Vatican didn’t actually bring me solace etc. or tell me anything I didn’t already know EXCEPT it was a validation from the hierarchy of the religious community that the Lombardi’s and their crew (that they hopefully pay more than lip service to )was in need of my forgiveness of such an act.
It was and is wrong in the eyes of their beliefs otherwise no forgiveness would be required.
I needed that documentation as I am not of their beliefs so I wanted to be sure that the church of their choice understood the need for a family’s closure . And I needed “in writing” for those that are also of their beliefs who are trying to “justify their actions”. by sending out emails of erroneous happenstance to defend the actions. ( Ah Brucee B you know not of what you write!)
Any good researcher , when delving into a situation or story , requires documentation and provenance -of paramount importance when trying to write the truth rather than a fictional perspective. 🙂 ( Ah Brucee lesson No 1. )
This series was but a small stepping stone across the river of grief as I explore my son, his life and his death and all that made up the journey .
Too long have disease, and the actions of others beyond my comprehension or our control made up the swirling waters of doubt , loss and confusion- I refuse to let that be the case any longer
I am crossing my river to reach my son and take him back from lies and doubt …. AND WILD HORSES COULDN’T DRAG ME AWAY
It is for Gavin I write and the knowledge that one day he will know his Uncle Chris , the young man who was so looking forward to being a part of his life. He will know the story of his family and who they were in the thousands upon thousands of words, this journey will take. And hopefully he will see the Good the Bad and the Ugly and learn from this journey of ours.
It is for Nikki – who was accused of being a liar and was also accused of not knowing her brother as she read the letter stuffed in her dead brother’s clothes. Having him wrenched from her by cancer and cowardice was apparently not enough for his bride of 500 or so days.
I will give them closure .. I will give them back their Chris…… the only way I know how…
I can do nothing but show the injustice that was done to those he loved and show that indeed it was an injustice not born of faith but selfishness. I will chronicle the agony both emotionally and physically this act of “control’ has taken upon those I love .
I will show the truth and document each step as each ‘stepping stone of an answer” carries us across to the other side.
In this small 1st step I have found that my foundation of thought and conclusions with regard to my son , who has been so cruelly wrenched from us because of disease and words written on cheap paper is as I thought……
I have explored this part of the equation of religious beliefs and how they pertained to our loss.
( RELIGION )and those that preach shouldn’t have and needn’t have caused the pain to those that love their son and brother- they tried to bury the act along with his ashes– I will shed the light of their actions and the results of those decisions to all who care to read.
I am not going quietly into the night- The reliance on keeping death a private affair by “it just isn’t done to discuss these situations “ is not part of my make -up . I will discuss anything I choose because no matter how uncomfortable it is to read OUR STORY
IT IS LIFE CRUSHING TO LIVE IT!!!!
I am not obsessed as I explained to one writer -there is no end in obsession –there is AN END to this journey BUT we are only in the middle chapters….
TO BE CONTINUED ……..
Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Blogging, Chris Ritchey, death, grief, journey, Mothers, personal opinion, religion, weddings and funerals, writers and writing. Tags: death, grief, mothers and sons, parallel writing, Roman Catholic Church.