“Remember the kind of September”- Chris Ritchey

September 3, 2010 at 11:16 am 11 comments

TRY TO REMEMBER WHEN LIFE WAS SO TENDER THAT NO ONE WEPT EXCEPT THE WILLOW

.

The willow is not alone in her weeping. Planted before you were born, three times she was destined to be cut down, three times for some unknown reasons the tree surgeons failed in their task. She stands taller than ever and weeps.

Every day that passes, every week seems unreal in our world , the hours turn into months but time blurs and it is as if just minutes have actually passed. Time isn’t healing it is vanishing. Time disappears into a whirlpool of grief sucked into oblivion only to surface briefly before disappearing once more.

I cannot credit that it was last year on this date you were accepted into the SGN 35 trial. There had been that horrible news that it was your only hope but that the trial had closed the Friday before.

Then it seemed like a miracle -you were accepted into a trial in Texas! I remember thinking

this will work it has to be a sign- fate or whomever decides our destiny couldn’t be so cruel as to keep giving hope only to dash us on the rocks of despair- to give us the “avenue of against the odds”.

You were destined to live- I honestly believed you would that somehow you would come through. I cannot believe the cruelty that surrounds the last 18 months of your young life and the cruelty that continued after your death.

I am bewildered by it all. I am awash with the emptiness you have left in my being, the regrets of promises I couldn’t keep and the hot tears that bring no relief and recognize no ticking clock of healing.

I remember Septembers and one day will follow, follow, follow ………


WILD HORSES

No sweeping exits
Or offstage lines

Susan Boyle released this version of Wild Horses the September day I flew to Texas to spend my last times with you – my son.

I. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/in-search-of-my-son-and-in-search-of-me/

II. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/today-the-third-is-a-trigger/

III. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/the-gift-chris/

IV. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/love-plus-loss-does-not-equal-logic/

V. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/no-answers-my-son-chris-ritchey/

VI.https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/06/03/vi-pers-chris-ritchey/

VII. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/07/03/no-7-chris-ritchey/

VIII – https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/08/02/fate-plus-eight-chris-ritchey/

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief. Tags: , , .

Strasbourg- September- Remember “THE UNINVITED” – YOU ARE INVITED!!!

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