Absence of Laughter- Chris Ritchey

November 18, 2010 at 7:15 pm 7 comments


In Search of my son- In search of me- Part 14 – LAUGHTER
Part One In search of my son- In search of me
Part TwoTourjours Moi-Always Me
Part Three Always Me – Always Chris
Part Four In search of My Son-
Chris Ritchey – Thanks

Part Five Dark Humour- Shedding a Light
Part Six – The Unfinished Portrait

Part Seven– The Unfinished Portrait- The Artists
(2) Part Two – Who Are We Really?
Part Eight– When Premonition Becomes Hindsight

Part Nine– When Premonition Becomes Hindsight – Part Two
Part Ten (a)There is an “I” in Death
Part Ten (b)- I didn’t know my son- Chris Ritchey
Part Eleven- Unfinished Portrait the Artistic Gene
Part Twelve- Unfinished Portrait- the Artistic Gene- Part Two
Part ThirteenA Place of Echoes

Laughter is such an important part of ones life. It is healthy to laugh! Laughter and happiness more important than money- I know……….

I have come to the realization that no matter what wonderful events may come into my life, however funny the antics of a certain little boy –


See Nag nog – nuffin’ up my nose honest!!!!

being totally happy is something that will never again be part of my world. It is a sad statement of fact as part of me and a major part of my happiness has gone from my tangible world. It is as if Chris dying has put a “limiter on laughter” – he always made me laugh out loud type of laughter!

Nikki would complain that Chris always got away with things that she didn’t- its true- because Chris would make you laugh as he was being bad, and sometimes he would be baaaaaaaaadddddd!

I found a letter written 28 years ago to me in England by my husband. I had had to go back for a family issue and he had to take care of the kids for a couple of weeks sans mother!

“In all my “spare” time , I ‘m making that greenhouse on the side of the garage- but today I had a set back , my son ( sorry) YOUR son decided to help me. I guess he didn’t like my five large pieces of glass to make the window, so he decided to make it ten thousand smaller ones. No one was hurt because the glass was on the other side of the door as he crashed it open driving his big wheel at it full tilt!

He then decided he wanted to find out how many pieces he could turn my 123 inch ruler into and broke it into three pieces before I could stop him as I was dealing with the glass- not to waste time he decided to use all my potted seedlings as a obstacle course as he slammed his way through them and over them on the said Big Wheel- the only thing that saved him from a 17 centimeter hand on a cute little 10 centimeter bum was he innocently looked up and said – ” Help daddy some more?”

Oh Chris you did make us pull our hair out at times……..

I miss you every day and on this day as I remember having cooked your last “proper dinner”, the last time you and I were together in your apartment, the last time we “talked” and all the trauma to come after that last night before the hospital and being with you as they delivered the oxygen. I so miss being happy and I miss you making me laugh – I miss your sense of humour irreverent as it was at times. I wish you could make us laugh out loud again…………

To be continued………………

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, Mothers, personal opinion. Tags: , .

Curiouser and Curiouser- Watson! Three Old Ladies Were Locked in the Lavatory- Lorain style

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lisa  |  November 19, 2010 at 2:02 am

    On this slippery slope to Dreadcember, thank goodness there are sweet memories like these to cling to, even if for just a moment ♥

  • 2. Mark  |  November 19, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    I don’t think the last month is going to be quite as festive for some. I’m always here for those that need an ear and a shoulder.

  • 3. Loraine Ritchey  |  November 19, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    you got that right Mark- there have been days this week when I have experienced an absence of being able to breathe as the memories and sad hopelessness combine in a choking grief – so horribly painful that you wonder how you will survive the next few minutes……and I know I am not alone – but I also know that there are some wonderful people trying to see us through those days thank you for being there through all of this- I am going to Nikki in a bit to get a “top up of Gavin” 🙂 Loraine

  • 4. wildthane  |  November 20, 2010 at 4:41 am

    “Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings.” ~ Victor Hugo

    Healing this wound will take a hell of a long time. Been there. But healing does come, and what I have found surprising in the experience of my own grief, is the growing awareness that I am closer to my deceased family member than ever. Our paths can never be parted and he still dances along my path, in my dreams, my aspirations, my laughter and plays a part in my contentment.

    I will pray that you may knit together enough peace to carry you through the difficulties of each day. It’s one moment, one day at a time. Love, A.

  • 5. Loraine Ritchey  |  November 20, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Thank you for the lovely thoughts and words ……..
    well Chris is certainly with me every waking moment and most of my sleeping ones. It is as if his life cut short needed to be lived still……his work in portfolios cry to be used – and once again he is having to help mum with her “projects’

    Chris can you design a logo, just put together a visual for me… I just need one more thing .….. only this time there is no “grumbling”
    “Mum would you volunteer my services if I was a mechanic”

    Yes if you were a good mechanic….. I wish I could hear him grumble instead he has left me his work, his designs his visuals his talent……. but my wings have been clipped by the loss of happiness……. I can’t fly I sit trembling on the branch my spirt heavy with grief trying not to plumett to earth …

  • […] do-er – this blubbering fool that I have become is down to the helplessness and hopelessness that took away happiness. Chris never knew me as a “crier” before his illness – so as the tears fell […]

  • 7. 1-1-11 – The blog that was « That Woman’s Weblog  |  January 1, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    […] ( although there isn’t a deadline) I will be concluding the journey of In search of my son. – https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/11/18/absence-of-laughter-chris-ritchey/ I will be coming to the ending of this tale of – terror- trial- tears and added […]

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