Three Old Ladies Were Locked in the Lavatory- Lorain style

November 21, 2010 at 10:50 pm 12 comments

Update: Check out Daniel’s further investigation in the corner stone caper
The recent “miraculous” find of a time capsule- and OH! YES!!! that is the word some were saying ” it is a miracle” and nobody knew it was there. As soon as I heard those words I was transported back to younger days and singing the song

Les toilettes comédie
– photo Chris Ritchey

Three Old Ladies
Oh, dear, what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first one’s name was Elizabeth Porter
She went in to be rid of some overdue water
And she stayed there far more than she ought to
And nobody knew she was there.


The second one’s name was Elizabeth Pomphrey
She went in and made herself comfy
Then she said: “Girls, I can’t get my bum free.”
And nobody knew she was there


The last one’s name was Elizabeth Carter
She was known as a world renowned farter
She went in and played a sonata
And nobody knew she was there.

“Leave the lid up” photo Chris Ritchey

Now my version:

Oh dear what can the matter be
A corner stones miraculous recovery
Cause NOBODY knew it was there???

The first flush told of heroes The 2nd flush turned into zero’s
The stone that was for safe keeping taken
Turned up a time capsule when shaken
And NOBODY??? knew it was there

The third flush a media scoop
When one newpaper got the rest of the poop
The smell becoming somewhat putrid And fingers pointed ” No you did”
And NOBODY knew it was there

The tale it continued for more than a bit
Nobody wanting to step in the sh-t
But the miraculous recovery became a tale of possible skullduggery
But again “Nobody knew it was there!

However, just as the song Three Old Ladies morphed into Seven Old ladies I am not sure that this “flush is finished-toilet tales in Lorain ????

Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Brit take, city of lorain, humour dark and otherwise, media, notorious opponents of exactitude. Tags: , , .

Absence of Laughter- Chris Ritchey Symbols- Lost and Never to be found -Chris Ritchey

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Renee Dore  |  November 22, 2010 at 1:05 am

    I can add that when you drive thru Lorain there was nautcial history and to add there shipbuilding history and also there there were the home of the sailors and captains but nobody knew it was there…….

  • 2. thatwoman  |  November 22, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    SO sad all of this check out Daniel Brady’s Blog today

    those of you that go to the Library then and now SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 3. Rich  |  November 22, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    Through all the work Loraine and Renee have done for years…alot of people still do not know the history of this city. Wish they would capitalize on the Internation Theme ….get all those church organizations to open ethnic restaurants up and down Lorain. THAT MAY BRING PEOPLE!

  • 4. Dennis Lamont  |  November 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    When was the last time you saw or read anything positive about the core of Lorain …when was the last time you read anything positive about the City of Lorain. All the good people and all the good things they do are overwhelmed by the paper selling publicity given a few bottom feeders. Concealed weapons, bullet proof vests …1:40 pm, ladies with children, some picture and for some folks proof positive of no hope.

  • 5. Loraine Ritchey  |  November 22, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    well I tend to agree but I will say Dennis that the readership even on this blog goes up when there is something controversial nature of the beast……

  • 6. Dennis Lamont  |  November 23, 2010 at 12:57 am

    No question about that Loraine but at least on this blog you can catch a lot of response that does not turn into name calling after the fifth message (grin)

  • 7. Ngaire Glover  |  November 23, 2010 at 3:53 am

    Oh haaaa – that made a few memories re-surface! Always a good ditty.

    What a balls-up – and I thought it only happened here!

  • 8. thatwoman  |  November 23, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Dennis I think that is because people use their own name or nickname so you know who you are dealing with and also the responsibility of being a real person making the comments…..might not get so many comments…but I will take that any day of the week as compared with the “comment compost” elsewhere

  • 9. thatwoman  |  November 23, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Ngaire, I know I know the “naughtier” version as well……oh those rugby games of my youth…………glad to see Australia is still on board with the USA 🙂

  • […] Corner Stone Caper and the wordsmithying that entailed . (That really became for me a bit of joke). I listened and read for nearly 5 days to the he said/she said/ they said this was the case until I […]

  • 11. Alan Graham  |  March 11, 2020 at 1:42 am

    regarding the three ladies
    they were supposed to be having high tea with the vicar
    but the lavatory door was a bit of a sticker
    so the vicar had tea on hi own

  • 12. Nomie S  |  October 1, 2022 at 8:59 pm

    I remember this verse but haven’t seen it anywhere …..

    The ? old lady was Isabel Jewitt
    She tried real hard but she couldn’t quite do it
    The seat was just varnished and she stuck right to it
    But nobody knew she was there

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November 2010

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