Visiting the holidays- The visit

December 27, 2010 at 2:22 pm 12 comments

I knew a year ago this house would not see another “Christmas” – there wouldn’t be a tree dragged in and decorated, no lights ,wrapping presents, dinners and plum puddings.

Christmas’s past were all too powerful to let in the mere thought of a Christmas present.

So this little house became the house that “Christmas didn’t happen” – no holiday baking or signing of cards, no stockings hung by the chimney with care.
Christmas happened elsewhere in a house full of warmth and joy and a darling little boy.

I “visited” Christmas this year and when the visit became too much- I was able to leave the present and find sanctuary in a log fire without stockings and decorations. I could leave Christmas and HO! Ho! Ho! , I could escape from the neon , the music and the jolly jolly .

Don’t feel too badly for me I have noticed that I felt not one bit of holiday stress with rushing here and there, parking, making sure this would be done, did I forget this person– the money, the dog’s tail knocking the ornaments across the room- clearing up the needles, worrying whether the tree was drying out too quickly.

None of that- the only shopping I had to do was for that little boy- for this year’s CHRIS -MISS- PRESENT. A present given from Chris who wanted so much to be part of Gavin’s life and to help him grow and to spoil him- from a pony to teaching him soccer – Chris, who spent such a little time with him was denied . However. Gavin knows his Uncle Chris in so many ways and will always have his Chris Miss Presents on all his holidays.
This year the Chris Miss Present was easy- as soon as I saw it I knew- there was no debate , no

“Do you think this is what Chris would’ve wanted for Gavin?”


I knew and even though it will be a couple of months until he can reach the foot controls- and mummy and daddy have lost their living room once again – The Chris Miss present brought a smile and a tear.

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, grief, Mothers. Tags: , .

MY Gift for your December- Grace’s Fur Coat A Year passes ——–

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lisa  |  December 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    As I was out photographing that “neon” [thanks for the link], I was stunned to discover that apparently I have been out of touch with Christmas for longer than I thought. When did The Macarena become a holiday classic? When the disco dance club remix of Amazing Grace kicked in, I was so out of there.

    Love the ChrisMiss present – what more could a little boy ask for than a visit from Santa and his very own Uncle Chris truck!
    Thinking of you ♥

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 27, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Yes Chris loved his black F 150- traded in MY blue transam so he could get that- I remember Nikki saying ( he had just been diagnosed) mum he has to have something to lift him and get him through these next months- I am sure that the Lomabardi clan turned it in although had they asked we would have purchased it ……but then again it was as if Chris’s family didn’t exist…………………………

    as for that music well holly jolly (not) but better than the half empty can of bud light beer that apparently sat on my son remains at THAT cemetery Christmas Day——-

  • 3. Uncle Mark  |  December 27, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Nice pics! Looks like Gavin had himself a fun holiday surrounded by a lot of love.

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 27, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    yes he did and he had Christmas yesterday as well with his cousins on the Beres side so he had three days of being overwhelmed and entertaining 🙂 but he was a good little boy and kept us together…..

  • 5. Lisa  |  December 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I just watched my video again and it’s the Electric Slide, not the Macarena. I can’t tell one cheezy wedding song from another anymore. Regardless, they should stick with TSO or something along those lines.

    Sorry to hear about the beer. I know how much it pisses you off.
    [damn, sounds like the beginning of a bad country song]

  • 6. Anne  |  December 27, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Gavin looks so cute! Glad you had Nikki’s to go to. It felt odd without Mum to shop, wrap and write cards for. It kept feeling as if I’d forgotten to do something.
    Panto starts tonight – Oh yes it does! Have just come home to pack us up some tea as Paul has to reprogram the lighting because of a couple of changes. My sound is OK apparently (except when I hit the wrong button!)
    Love to Auntie Vi and you all
    Anne
    xxx

  • 7. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 27, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    well using my son’s “suppo0sed resting place and as” Princess Angela” has stated on more than one occasion as ” honoring Chris” Sorry but using that grave as a table for food stuffs and balloons and beer cans is NOT respectful to my son he has become a papish picnic table for vermin …….. he might as well be a trash recepticle … these people disgust me !!!!!!

  • 8. Ngaire  |  December 28, 2010 at 3:45 am

    Am glad you spent time with Gavin (and famlly) Loraine – kids really do make Christmas for my husband and I too! Loved the car – our almost 2 year old grandson would love that indeed.
    The stupid things people leave and do at cemeteries has me astounded too – why food and drink??? Why alcohol especially?
    I think I can cope with the occasional balloon and small windmill but some of the other rubbish is total sacrilege. Recently a young chap was buried at our local cemetery and his hooning ‘mates’ kindly left tyre wheelie skids all over the road directly outside the area – in fact one nearly took out another’s vehicle as well as the neighbouring fence. I have no idea what this was meant to show – certainly no respect for their ‘mate’, nor anyone else resting in the plots or memorial wall, nor those deceased from a motor vehicle crash – plain bloody ignorance and total disrespect – grrrr!

  • 9. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Well Ngaire the fact that what remains of my son is even in that place causes such hurt in the first place, not his culture, not his faith and not his family….. ( till death do you part) the way it was done and now what they do just as I have said before makes the bile rise in my throat. Well straw that broke and all that.

  • […] After Christmas night, I came home to this house with no decorations, from my visits with Christmas, https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/12/27/visiting-the-holidays/ […]

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