Boxes- little boxes- outside the box!

May 3, 2011 at 10:05 am 12 comments

Self portrait- Boxed In- by Chris Ritchey


Boxes

Life really is all about boxes. On this blog and in the newspapers there was much discussion about a box nothing truly significant OR IS IT ? A box that contained a few artifacts, scraps of life and happenstance – a time capsule – but its contents made people think and remember.

A box that made people remember!

My life is no different I am boxed in with my own time capsule of boxes. As Mother’s Day approaches once more I am reminded of life’s boxes and the opening of the people of my own personal Pandora’s Box”

CHECK THE BOXnext of kin
Angela ritchey DO

Angela ( Lombardi) ritchey – by Chris Ritchey

THE LAST BOXChristopher David Ritchey – deceased and interred in their box, buried and locked into a place of deceit. A place not of his or our faith or beliefs of heritage and a continuing insult to Chris and his family.

A place that has become a shrine to tacky, (my son was many things but he detested tacky tat and now he has become the anchor of tat and tacky) – balloons, cake, beer , garden whirly gigs and chocolate eggs festoon my son’s earthly remains as they play their cemetery games .

SAFE DEPOSIT BOX

Sue Lombardi ( the mother in law) – the cash from fundraiser– not deposited into the Friends of Chris Ritchey account( First Federal) – her own statement November 2009- waiting room – Cleveland Clinic- when asked for a list of those that donated so I could send thank you


Sue Lombardi –
“We don’t want people to know the full amount – we aren’t publicizing that. I have opened a safe deposit box for the cash – Angela has access”

A box holding the treasured memories of a little boy Watership Down, Cedar Point passes, photos, trinkets, a driving license with organ donor noted -a little boy’s most important stuff and now holds his mother’s heart.

cardboard boxes sent with a dead brother’s, son’s ,nephew and grandson’s clothes and containing the narcissistic and cruel musings of Angela to his grieving family months after his death as she “moved apartments ” to a more luxurious facility .

AND a plain white cardboard box holding cards ,hundreds of them, waiting to be signed and sent to those that gave time, baskets and money to help my son on the October day 2009.

I don’t know who all of you are– I only have the paperwork that my daughter has , from the tickets and baskets that came through her, I only have a partial listing from the Lombardi family see ( safe deposit)
https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/thank-you-all-2/
So for over a year I have sat with the plain white cardboard box that hold my thanks and appreciation reminding me daily that I have not acknowledged and probably will never be able to acknowledge the generosity of those that cared.

Every once in a while I find out that this person sent a basket or that person had donated, stopped by at the fundraiser to drop off cash- for one thing I cannot believe the wonderful generosity of people .

And I am so sorry that your donations went to pay for a funeral that kept Chris’s family from him and has caused so much pain to all of us , new furniture and the expenses as “bride ” moves on.

Had I had more say in the distribution of funds rather than designer headstones, gratuitous ceremonies I would have asked those that donated if they wanted something other than death being the recipient of their donations.

You see this “fundraiser that I and my son “reluctantly agreed to”wasn’t about medical expenses and funeral expenses those were covered – NO THE FUNDRAISER WAS ABOUT “traveling for hope” .

I would

Now we find ourselves once more on a journey – to Houston – Texas- MD Anderson- where we were fortunate enough to be given just a glimmer of hope with a “trial treatment” of SGN 35 –………. ….having to stay in Houston for weeks and also flying back and forth is adding to the ripple effects of ever-growing expenses

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2009/09/27/hodgkins-lymphoma-not-the-curable-cancer-a-journey-a-request/
Had I had any input then those funds no longer needed for Chris’s hope would have been used to give hope to others or returned.

As I look every morning at the box holding the thank you’s, I remember how gracious and caring most people are and the helpless feeling of not being able to express my gratitude to those whom I am unaware made donations.

Chris’s family has, as you know, opened scholarships in his name to give back it is our way of saying thank you –

I wish we could put back into the community the over 36,000 dollars raised after expenses (Note: this was the last accounting I had a figure told to me by my son).

However the Lombardi’ clan had the final say- and I have no recourse as they were totally involved with the accounting .

Thank you though to everyone! I will try to bear your generosity in mind as we remember our son Chris through the years with these scholarships.

Please consider them our thank you to all of you!!!!

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/03/28/chris-ritcheys-collage-colleges-scholarships-lccc-and-cia/

Lorain County Community College

Cleveland Institute of Art.

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, hell is other people, Mothers, notorious opponents of exactitude, personal opinion, weddings and funerals. Tags: , , , , , .

Issue Two Amherst – Mr. Sayers answers The Gift of Mother’s Day

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. John Kim  |  May 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    I don’t know about you but I need boxes for shipping product. Those things can eat away at a businesses margins. Boxes are very precious to me.

  • 2. Rebecca G  |  May 4, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    I am very upset about what has happened to your family. I am sorry our donation to the “hope” fund has been used in this way. My thoughts and prayers are for Christopher and his family. I pray one day you will find peace and closure.

    As for his “bride” and her family I can only say their selfishness is destructive. I cannot look at them in the same way. I am so sorry for your loss of your son and for the situation you have to deal with on top of that loss. Becky.

  • 3. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 4, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Thank you Becky,

    I am at a loss for words , how this all came about is beyond me. I can only surmise that the relationship Chris family “thought” we had with Angela was totally not what we thought her feelings towards us to be. A mask she wore well. I realize now a lot things and a lot of signals that should have made us concerned were missed.

    Everything we did we did with Chris in mind, even when it became apparent there was another agenda from the “clan” in his last days. It seems lots of things not just the financials for the fundraiser were witheld from his family ……

    Angela was right about one thing I did and “DO” love my son intensely and I will never give up on him or cast him into a “tacky oblivion” to be “souvenired” . Chris, as I hope readers have found by now, was so much more than that self -serving gratuitous obituary written by “the bride and clan”………

    I am angry again ( actually it never leaves me – my son deserved so much more than this) but at least the anger is keeping me from being sucked into the depths of grief and is still keeping me upright.

  • 4. Joey GIavelli  |  May 5, 2011 at 1:39 am

    my mom n dad died in crash 7 months ago.
    since then nothg seems rite n i just kinda keep wantg it 2b diffnt but i realizd it wont evr b cuz it cant. i somtms feel bad wen im happy bout somthg n then i just feel sad.

    i think im suposd 2 go on n keep tryg but somtims its way hard.
    i miss them so much

    joey

  • 5. thatwoman  |  May 5, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Yes Joey I know those feelings and I have no words to make sense of your tragedy … we just go on….. that is all we can do and try and find the laughter and the smiles of those we love in the good things in life.
    Joey I will contact you off the blog if you like and if you ever need someone to vent to that knows how deeply wounded you are well I am here Loraine

  • 6. Mark  |  May 5, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Joey, my condolences on the devastating loss of your parents. The magnitude of that loss at your age is beyond my understanding. Know that your parents would want you to do whatever you can to be successful in life, and that you should not mourn them for the rest of your life. They would want you to enjoy every moment that you have, and that as long as you keep them in your heart, they will be thrilled. Take whatever lessons you learned from them and remember them and heed them, and do whatever you can to make something of yourself, that you know, deep down, would make your parents happy and proud of you. I’m sure they’re as sad as you that they can’t be with you now, but know they would want you to go on and to be strong.

    Feel free to contact Loraine, she’s got the biggest heart of anyone I know and is there if you need someone to talk to.

  • 7. Joey Giavelli  |  May 5, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    U can eml me if u want.
    Somtims u just don’t kno where to put the anger. I mean I have it all the time just below eveythg but it’s always there. R u like that?

    I kinda pushed everyone away n now I wish didn’t

    I hope ur doing ok
    Joey

  • 8. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 5, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    I will email you Joey Oh yes I have a lot of anger and sometimes Joey it is the only thing that keeps me from crumpling into a heap. And yes the anger at the unfairness of everything and the frustration that comes with not being able to do anything about it. You have lost so much in your young life , you are experiencing something so terrible for a young person to face that most cannot even begin to understand .

    Most of us will lose our parents as they grow old that is way it should be and children should not die before their parents BUT we aren’t living what should be we are trying to live with what shouldn’t be –
    we are in the middle of a whirlpool of confusion – I have removed our email address from the comment section just in case you get some unwanted mail. Loraine

  • […] – their calculating coldness proved that. Lies were being told to justify the actions of callousness and greed and since I wasn’t unaware of the extent of this manipulation I could not fight those lies at […]

  • […] and it reminds me of all the pain wrought to this family by Chris marrying Angela and the acts of betrayal, coldness and calculation we experienced at the hands of Angela , Tim and Sue and the extended Lombardi family […]

  • […] https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/boxes-little-boxes-outside-the-box/ Sue Lombardi ( the mother in law) – the cash from fundraiser- not deposited into the Friends of Chris Ritchey account( First Federal) – her own statement November 2009- waiting room – Cleveland Clinic- when asked for a list of those that donated so I could send thank you […]

  • 12. Jan. 3rd- The Three- Chris Ritchey | That Woman's Weblog  |  January 3, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    […] I never received any bills but during the course of the months after you died and going through your portfolio I came across a box ( yes another box) https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/boxes-little-boxes-outside-the-box/ […]

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