What are they thinking??? The thought process stops here
“ME ME ME- I want- …..
has caused upheaval , angst and a lot of stress. Things will be a little quiet on my blog ( some sighing with relief I would think )
due to the fact that another narcissistic , not thinking of the consequences of what they do and HOW to do it has caused my 92-year-old mum to have to leave her home of 27 years.
I know in her heart of hearts she had hoped that would be her last home and she could be “leave this planet” before having to move again.
My mum has had to change countries and homes, given up things that we all hold precious in our lives so many times. I have watched, as I grew up, how difficult this was for her and I had hoped to spare her from ever having to “move” again.
Mum and Martin –
Well that is not the case and because “thought and consequences” of how decisions may affect others was not even considered in the telling and secretiveness surrounding the lifestyle change of the cretin.
The news was sprung upon my mum – without any warning and without discussing it with anyone, including me, her daughter,- no fair warning with this “no fool like and old fool” idiot prior to delivering his I wanna be happy news…. during the loss of Martin and the emotions she was dealing with, which in on of itself was worrying to me as to how much more she could take on board.
You do not deliver a lifestyle change to a 92-year-old woman without preparing her, which would have been up to me. That was taken completely out of our hands- he is just fortunate she didn’t have a heart attack.
Mum has to move. The story is long and complicated ( aren’t they always) but the bottom line is another “Because they can cretin“ . And absolutely no thought to the consequences as to HOW news like this would affect a 92 years old, delivered out of the blue. Why ? – because the path these “narcissistic non- thinkers” choose has no other travellers but themselves.
This meant 27 years of memories and “precious things” she had saved and brought over with her from England when she retired – the giving up of one’s independence , watching the things people had given her through the years go into the trash – things she had lovingly saved and kept close to her in her lifetime journey of 92 years has to go .
Honestly I am very worried about the effect this is having, as I returned home last evening and as she had been putting things away here I saw her little face and she looked 106 and “all gone out” as my own Nana would say . I hadn’t seen her as crumbled into herself since the news delivered by Dr. Angela (Lombardi) ritchey DO that she was taking her grandson to ground. I quickly had her sit down and made a cup of tea ( well that is what we English do in crisis).
My husband barely able to move after shifting of boxes up and down stairs full of heavy goods, she worried about him and his heart and feeling responsible for all the upheaval, in tears over “cow canister set” . This is what is happening here in “happy valley”
Mum perked up some after the tea and said
I can’t go yet because you would blame “him” for my death and God knows what your blog would say then! I can’t go with that on my conscience
and she would be right
Of course the cretin of creeps – is not around to see this happen ( too busy being happy and enjoying the fruits of his decision – sprung like a trap- yes it is a relative- well was until he joined the ranks of another personna non grata in my world. ( Yes! anger is keeping me upright again)- but it is another instance where I so miss my Christopher, his strength and love for his Nana , his help and humor. Nikki of course is having a baby – and is upset too.. and that compounds the worry .
I am beginning to wonder if part of my life is to sort out who are the manipulators, liars and cretins” and expose them to the light of day I sure seem to attract them into my circle of life.:(
Just another example of how “scum rises to the top of the pond” yeah Karma – don’t you believe it – just another platitude to give those of us who have been “trashed” some hope of justice.
ED note: Ironically these perpetrators of cruel thinking and acts profess to be all about “family” I find that astonishing in light of their actions .
The upshot of all this is 6 rooms of life don’t go into 2, especially when this house is chocker block full. I have cleared out Chris’s room which held all his artwork and things from CIA- that was heart rendering for me once again as I relived everything as I packed them away. I then stripped out my daughter’s old room, which had been used as a guest room, mostly by me, as the guest for the past few months, as I cried and walked the nights trying not to disturb my husband, in order to give my mum a sitting room so she has some semblance of independence left to her and so she has some privacy when she wants it.
I still have to sort through items of life some to the Salvation army etc. and throwaway ( because no one would want some of this stuff it is not worth anything to anyone but her and the cow canister set became priceless.) It is 6 rooms of chaos at the moment and the only one who can do this is me ( with a little help). Therefore, the blog may be quiet as I come back from her old apartment emotionally and physically exhausted and so angry at thoughtlessness on the ripple effect it has on those I love. I am once again disgusted, drained and disappointed in those that profess to love ……… at least when the last floor is swept, the last trash bag on the curb I can put another “self – self – addict” to the curb. Death isn’t the only thing that can make a family smaller …………….
If walls could talk however the resulting conversation coming from those rooms in the last few day would definitely be “R rated”.