December 3rd- Chris Ritchey- “yesterday”

December 3, 2011 at 12:05 am 16 comments

It seems as though it was just yesterday -the day of your passing – funny word -yesterday-from Old English 5th century- ( mixture of english and norse) a time before- before today

I have cried everyday of the yesterdays at the loss you, my eyes are sore, always swollen from the weeping of you and I will cry today as my heart continues to break. My will to go on is battered and blown by a grief that seemingly knows no ending. I stagger emotionally through my days – stand roooted- imobile – whilst all around me a world of todays rushes past- soundbites of life, colours, voices sometimes penetrating the world of tears. The hurt has not eased no matter the passing of yesterdays.

The yesterdays blend with today and become tomorrow– one hour folds into the next and a life in the parallel universe goes on …..

Last night I dreamt – I dreamt that you died and my mind reeled and fought such a dreadful nightmare, then I awoke and I realized it was but a dream and you were coming in the door as usual with your smile and lazy walk. I ran up to you rushed with the relief at the site of you –

Oh! Chris, I had such a terrible dream – I dreamt you died-

you laughed, patted me on top of my head and you said

“silly woman”, what have you got to eat?”

I hugged you, I was so relieved and happy , heard your heart beat as I did so and breathed……….. only to wake from my moment of joy and relief to the truth once again…..The pain of yesterday …………..

and WILD HORSES:

Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted

I bought them for you

Graceless lady

You know who I am

You know I can’t let you slide through my hand

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I watched you suffer
A dull aching pain
Now you’ve decided
To show me the same

No sweeping exits
Or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter
Or treat you unkind

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I know I’ve dreamed you
A sin and a lie I have my freedom
But I don’t have much time

Faith has been broken
Tears must be cried
Let’s do some living
After we die

And Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

Wild Horses
Songwriters: Richards, K;Jagger,M.

Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers, personal opinion. Tags: , , , , , , .

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