December 3rd- Chris Ritchey- “yesterday”

December 3, 2011 at 12:05 am 15 comments

It seems as though it was just yesterday -the day of your passing – funny word -yesterday-from Old English 5th century- ( mixture of english and norse) a time before- before today

I have cried everyday of the yesterdays at the loss you, my eyes are sore, always swollen from the weeping of you and I will cry today as my heart continues to break. My will to go on is battered and blown by a grief that seemingly knows no ending. I stagger emotionally through my days – stand roooted- imobile – whilst all around me a world of todays rushes past- soundbites of life, colours, voices sometimes penetrating the world of tears. The hurt has not eased no matter the passing of yesterdays.

The yesterdays blend with today and become tomorrow– one hour folds into the next and a life in the parallel universe goes on …..

Last night I dreamt – I dreamt that you died and my mind reeled and fought such a dreadful nightmare, then I awoke and I realized it was but a dream and you were coming in the door as usual with your smile and lazy walk. I ran up to you rushed with the relief at the site of you –

Oh! Chris, I had such a terrible dream – I dreamt you died-

you laughed, patted me on top of my head and you said

“silly woman”, what have you got to eat?”

I hugged you, I was so relieved and happy , heard your heart beat as I did so and breathed……….. only to wake from my moment of joy and relief to the truth once again…..The pain of yesterday …………..

and WILD HORSES:

Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted

I bought them for you

Graceless lady

You know who I am

You know I can’t let you slide through my hand

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I watched you suffer
A dull aching pain
Now you’ve decided
To show me the same

No sweeping exits
Or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter
Or treat you unkind

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I know I’ve dreamed you
A sin and a lie I have my freedom
But I don’t have much time

Faith has been broken
Tears must be cried
Let’s do some living
After we die

And Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

Wild Horses
Songwriters: Richards, K;Jagger,M.

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers, personal opinion. Tags: , , , , , , .

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15 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kelly Boyer Sagert  |  December 3, 2011 at 1:33 am

    So sorry . . .

  • 3. Dave Cotton  |  December 3, 2011 at 6:25 am

    Thinking of you!!!!

  • 4. Tony  |  December 3, 2011 at 6:27 am

    Thinking of you all, miss him so much

  • 5. Lisa  |  December 3, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Death is nothing at all
    I have only slipped away into the next room
    I am I and you are you
    Whatever we were to each other
    That we are still
    Call me by my old familiar name
    Speak to me in the easy way you always used
    Put no difference into your tone
    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
    Laugh as we always laughed
    At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
    Let it be spoken without effort
    Without the ghost of a shadow in it
    Life means all that it ever meant
    It is the same as it ever was
    There is absolute unbroken continuity
    What is death but a negligible accident?
    Why should I be out of mind
    Because I am out of sight?
    I am waiting for you for an interval
    Somewhere very near
    Just around the corner
    All is well.
    Nothing is past; nothing is lost
    One brief moment and all will be as it was before
    How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

    Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918

  • 6. Grammy  |  December 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Love and hugs Loraine and family. Yesterday was one of my “days”, so am right there with you.

    Thank you Lisa for the poem, how true.

  • 7. Glen  |  December 3, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Always thinking of you Loraine. Big hugs from a hairy Scotsman xxx

  • 8. Jayne Bartish-Kacik  |  December 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I’m so sorry your pain is still so intense. Don’t forget, he IS with you. Right beside you.

    Abraham-Hicks in my inbox. ( http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php ) I love it. Can this be ANY clearer??? —>

    “Make fun of death. We are as dead as it gets, and we are fully aware of this joyous experience. We are with you every time you allow it. We are in every singing bird and in every joyful child. We are part of every delicious pulsing in your environment. We are not dead, and neither will you ever be! You will just get up, one day, and get out of the movie.— Abraham “

  • 9. Diane Wargo Medina  |  December 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    Remembering always……….

  • 10. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 4, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Thank you everyone it has been a rough day – it is funny I can’t remember what I did a few weeks ago but I can remember every day every word , gesture, every minute and emotion leading up to Chris’ death……. but Gavin bless his little heart was an absolute love this afternoon ……we played trucks and trains and I got a lot of hugs…………. which were very much appreciated 🙂 but very very difficult and I don’t think he understood the water coming from my eyes …… kept trying to wash my face 🙂

  • 11. aka mozart  |  December 4, 2011 at 2:35 am

    So Chris came to you…. and sent you an angel today…and perhaps… with the tears you shed…you were just giving thanks.
    Some never get to shed those tears…and some shed, with no one to wipe them away….it is a very confusing life we live….

  • […] As readers know Susan Boyle’s rendition of Wild Horses has become a very special piece of music in our lives. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/december-3rd-chris-ritchey-yesterday/ […]

  • […] – that goes without saying: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/december-3rd-chris-ritchey-yesterday/ I have cried everyday of the yesterdays at the loss you, my eyes are sore, always swollen from the […]

  • […] As a little boy helped his mummy trim the tree, I remembered other trees another little boy- and the ghosts of Christmases past and December 3rd. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/december-3rd-chris-ritchey-yesterday/ […]

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