Sad???? – Run’d away – Hide – NOG – Chris Ritchey – CIA Scholarship

May 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm 5 comments


Gavin’s advice – as we “sit floor- Nog”– (Gavin’s new shortened version of my “monika”) watching the Car’s movie ( over and over and over again) and there is a sad part we must run’d away– is Gavin’s order of the moment- until the happy part comes on. Should a scary part happen, Gavin will change the disc or turn it off.I have yet to find out ( after watching the movie at least 10 times) what happens to Tinkerbell at the Troll bridge, but mostly we have to “hide” under the cushions until the nice happy part returns to the screen.

The other day as I was holding Braedyn in one arm and Gavin was cuddled up under the other watching “Cars” yet again, I felt the softness of a baby’s cheek and the silkiness of Gavin’s tousled hair. I was taken back and reminded once more of another little boy’s cheek and hair as soft as silk .

Try as I might , despite shaking my head to get the picture from my mind, swallowing hard and holding my breath. fat tears splashed from my eyes onto Gavin’s little hand ,so like his Uncle Chris’s . I bit my lip and forced a smile as Gavin turned his concerned little face to mine .

Sad???? – run’d away- hide – Nog

There are so many times I would like to run’d away and hide but there isn’t a sanctuary where one can escape- the sad part is always with me .

Friday, May 4th, we were invited to Cleveland Institute of Art’s Honors Awards and Scholarship Announcements.

Since Chris died we have remembered him with two scholarships Cleveland Institute of Art and Lorain County Community College

The recipient of Chris’ scholarship for this year would be announced. I knew it was going to be hard- I put on my “armour” and my sunglasses. Nikki went with me , we took Braedyn – Gavin spent the day with Poo Bah.

I had been to the Aiken auditorium twice during Chris’s time at CIA- the day of his orientation and then the day he graduated. The day of his graduation the large screen – a backdrop on the stage, as his name was announced to the audience, showed two slides the example of a project of which he was most proud

I sat, during the awards announcement on Friday, not daring to move incase what ever thin thread that was holding me together broke. I could see Chris once more on his graduation day happy, smiling, full of excitement , giving the thumbs up as he crossed the stage with his work behind him, ready to take on the “design world” with an air of confidence. We were so proud and happy at that moment- looking forward to accomplishment.

Then the reality of Christopher’s name being read once more and on the large screen another slide.

I daren’t look at Nikki, I knew her eyes were filling with tears, I could see peripherally her fingers stroking Braedyn’s warm soft cheek, drawing comfort from his presence. I so wanted to “run’d away- hide”- I didn’t want to face the trolls of the bridge of death and the price they claimed. But there is nowhere to run.

As the announcement of the recipient was read I scanned the audience filled with youth , talent, excitement, their eagerness, joy adding to the ambience of life in that auditorium and just being young written on those faces and I drew a margin of comfort that once more my son’s name was included in a “happy part” . And hopefully a gift in his name would, in a small way, help another to make a difference through their talent.

Thank you so much to those of you that help make this gift in Christopher’s name possible.

This year’s $1,500 scholarship recipient follows
Year One – Jessica Obando
Year Two – Andrew Frank
Year Three- Emily Good.

If you would like to contribute to the Christopher Ritchey Memorial Scholarship at CIA please do so by sending the check to :

Attn M. Kinsella
Cleveland Institute of Art,
11141 East Boulevard,
Cleveland, OH 44106
mark Chris Ritchey Memorial Scholarship

Entry filed under: Arts, Chris Ritchey, grief, Mothers. Tags: , , , , .

Lorain Police Department – Arrest the uncivilized destroyers of society APA = ( Love plus Grief )plus 2months = MDD= $?

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anne Molnar  |  May 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

    Yes I do remember the graduation day very well. Loraine, Keep the good momories, stay strong. I realize that some days are not so easy. What a wonderful tribute to Chris with the Scholarships that many young students will benefit from.

  • 2. gramster1  |  May 9, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    I understand the run’d away – hide. Want to do that more often than not. Hang on, that’s all we can do. Love and hugs

  • 3. Loraine Ritchey  |  May 9, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Trouble is I could “run’d away” to most of the places on this planet and find a place to hide but you take the “baggage” with you – “the luggage of loss” never gets lost in transit……….so no where to run no where to hide….. Sigh………

  • 4. gramster1  |  May 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    So true!!!!

  • […] My collage as stated is just a few of the pieces that I love and hang on the walls of our house and that of his sisters. The one black and white window piece -he standing on the outside of the window- I have had printed into card form and use them as a thank you to the people who donate to the yearly Cleveland Institute of Art Scholarship we have in Christopher’s memory. […]

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May 2012

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