Is “Futility” the real F word? or “too many times around the block”
It all started with the bus breaking down. True, my husband, fresh out of the US Airforce was heading to Cleveland from Sandusky for an interview and the bus broke down. Not one to waste time , at least then, he pulled out the yellow pages found Lorain Products, Ben Norton and a job.
That is how we arrived here , it was quite a shock from London to Lorain- but I followed my father’s advice to get involved and meet people.
I did , I jumped in and I was involved- boy was I involved- not having a career, being young and no children at the time I was the “perfect volunteer”. I have at one time or another been involved in the beginnings of a great many things and organizations in this city and with that comes the “back story knowledge”.Some of the back stories are great and some ??? well a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.
I know the players, the movers and shakers, the way things were supposed to work and if they did work. I know the good the bad and the ugly. I admit to getting territorial when I see how good things have gone bad and how some have been manipulated so they no longer reflect the original intent.
I think I have been around this particular block too many times, in most cases I am disheartened by what has happened and how with each administration or group of “idea ” people revisit as “new” a way forward – I can no longer get excited- I haven’t seen anything new that I haven’t seen before just reinventing the wheel. I watch the latest ‘dog and pony show” hype and wonder will it be any different this time. I am sort of still young enough that I shouldn’t be so jaded but……..
I have tried to bring the “information” to those that have jumped on the “latest” bandwagon the “history ” or “been there done that” scenario- to give them a bit of a “leg up” so they don’t regurgitate that which has been done before or make the same mistakes . I have realized it isn’t wanted. People/organizations want to make their own mark or mistakes, as it should be I suppose.
I believe, over the years, I have been involved too much in Lorain , experienced too much, know too much and have become too cynical in my views to do much anymore but wait and watch.
I think I have become even more annoying-( I can almost see the eyes roll and the oh! not her again as they read my latest emails – turning into a ‘old curmudgeon “ myself. You know the one, the one that gets up at council meetings and spouts off, writes letters to the newspaper “back in my day”- expounding upon their frustrations – At least I know now how they got there.
I keep hearing
oh we must look to the future
all well and good but when the future is tomorrow and the yesterdays and waiting have become the “past”- there are those of us who would like the “here and NOW!!! You see of the 25,000 days allotted to most of us we are fast approaching our “sell by date”!
So forgive the impatience- of the old curmudgeon – the block is deteriorating fast……
The old curmudgeon walks through town
Wearing a scowl or often a frown
Everyone stays away from him
The poor curmudgeon without a grin
They wonder what has made him mad
Why he’s so blue, why he’s so sad
But no one tries to find out why
They cross the street, won’t look him in the eye
If they’d only ask
Then they would know
Why his eyes are sad
Why his face hangs low
But no one will
And it’s so sad
For perhaps a simple kindness
Would make him glad
Day by day, the curmudgeon goes
And day by day, no one knows
And day by day, no one asks or tires
They just look away from the tears in his eyes.