“Father’s Day” 2012 – garden of gifts- and undying love – Chris Ritchey
Father’s Day 2010 -2011
and out of a self-righteous, sanctimonious, self-serving spite he was punished two fold- he lost his son – those not of his blood took his closure – his chance to say goodbye and they dishonored Chris’ father – this kind quiet gentle man who never hurt or did anyone any harm in his whole life.
Punished by “control”
These “anniversary days” are so hard and yet I know my son would not have wanted them to go by without a mention. June the 7th another memory – one I wished had not happened – the pain that day eventually caused this family cannot be erased .
After posting the latest June 7th 2012 piece I went into the “black hole” – the worthlessness of that wedding day which legally enabled selfish control makes my stomach turn. I have to hold onto what my mum says :
Chris at least had a wedding day – and maybe not much of a married life but he had one and he got to experience life and in-laws
Experiencing the “in -laws’
(ED Note- pity about experiencing the Lombardis and co and more is the pity WE have had to experience them.) If there ever was justice one day the father of the clan Tim Lombardi should know what it is like to walk in the shoes he “designed” for Chris’s father.
I didn’t feel like writing anything after that post of June 7th 2012 –
I always wonder when this blog will finally finish, you see I have no notion of when I will publicize the last post.
My emotional world is disabled – I am crippled. It takes so much to bring me back from lethargy, bitterness toward those of “self” and the futility that permeates my world where for the most part-time has stopped and only a little happiness and laughter finds its way through the maze of grief. Then a shake of the head with disbelief or to be roused from the depths through anger or the need to help as the phone rings , an email sent and the need to “journal” has brought back into being this blog again.
Father’s Day 2012 – Nikki and I cannot give Chris’s father the gift he most desires- no one can- I cannot turn back time and stop it at a place where his son was well and healthy and even if I could the joys of grand children would then be denied. I can only give him the memories of his son and remind him of his “undying love”.
There is a fountain of love – carried in on a June day 2008 by a young man with hope as a thank you for all we had done –
and of course a “ghost in the pond”!
Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, Fathers, grief, men of substance, weddings and funerals. Tags: Angela ritchey DO, Christopher D. Ritchey, christopher ritchey lorain, death, emotional world, Fathers, gentle man, Lombardi-Lorain, lombardis, mothers and sons, obscenity of cancer, opinion.