” The Shadow – Knows”-

December 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm 4 comments

shadow collage

She has come , this “Shadow” of fun , life and puppy- ness into a home that is for the most part devoid of laughter and fun although she has found plenty of love and attention. She actually demands love and attention! Although her “of her kind compatriot” -Tetley – is still not accepting her presence and has removed himself to the realm of upstairs- Spending time in front of the fireplace only coming down to eat and do “business” , Tetley is becoming “fat” – his daily exercise with Misty just a memory.

Shadow seems to understand our needs as we enter into this ” season” – can it be as she patiently lays her head on my lap that she understands the need for warmth and comfort.
The Vykas The Lombardis with Angela (Lombardi) Ritchey DO (CC)

The nightmare shadows of our remembering one of the cruelest weekends of our lives –


I watched through my own pain the pain, the desolation caused by Angela and her collective cohorts – what this did to the rest of my family. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Chris would NOT have wanted this emotional torture visited upon us.

On the 14th we were told Chris had been cremated- As I got off the phone that morning my mother was coming down the stairs- she looked at me- her lovely little gentle face afraid , eyes full of tears and said

“Oh no! what has happened now has she changed her mind? They aren’t going to bury him after all are they – Loraine you can’t let that happen- why are they doing this

I said

No! Chris has been cremated

and a 91-year-old sank to her knees on my living room floor in relief , sobs wracking her little body- this same little wonderful Nana Chris had so loved – hurt in such a way – No! this is not what Chris would have wanted and Angela (Lombardi) Ritchey DO http://my.clevelandclinic.org/staff_directory/staff_display.aspx?DoctorID=16147

certainly did not honour him by causing his much-loved Nana such torment.

I cannot adequately describe those 72 hours, words fail me.

How Angela could have a few days earlier received a hug from that Nana who thanked her for her decisions for cremation and sharing the ashes, allowing closure in our way too? How Angela could then dismiss that face and that love from her mind as she wrote those words ( delivered the funeral home – didn’t even have the courage of her convictions to face us)

that would just add to the pain and suffering of his Nana is beyond my comprehension?

So on the 11th Day came the beginning of the beginning as I started to take back ownership of my grief and who my son was and the consequences of what happens when a mother and family are denied closure – then closure does not happen and a wound festers and bleeds still…………………“first do no harm”- the harm has been done


There was not a shred goodwill or compassion for this family that December 11th 12th 13th – and the week that followed . The taking of “kindness and compassion” at the worst time of someones life by the “cretins of control”- The upstanding members of their parishes became our personal pariah

Yes! the anger is still there as strong as our grief– it cannot dissipate until there is closure and thanks to them they have taken what little closure we had… they are intertwined – these emotions— and the question WHY???? still rings through the air – as with the church bells heralding ” Good will ” as those same “cretins of control” bend their knees in prayer and sing of “love of fellow-man” –

And yes! a small fluffy pup , new to this life and world is wiser and understands the need for love and compassion as she tries to do her best to bring back the sounds of laughter to a home that has very little left to them .

Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Chris Ritchey, death, grief, hell is other people, Mothers, Shadow. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

…AND LORAIN SAID- “NO” !!!!!…… Admiral King – Lorain Ohio TIME WARNER CABLE PIXELATING- Coming attraction

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mark Teleha  |  December 13, 2012 at 2:03 am

    I’ve kept Kristen up-to-date with Misty’s passing, and Shadow’s adoption. When I showed her the pup’s recent pics, she wanted me to ask if she could come over for a playdate with Shadow!!

    Hope Shadow’s keepin’ everyone smilin’.

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    yes she may just give me a call….

  • 3. Sharyn Hinman  |  December 15, 2012 at 2:57 am

    This time of year, I think of Chris and his loss and all his promise. I’ve retired now from Wyse but of all the young people I gave a boost to, Chris’s story remains the saddest. Thinking of you in this bleak month and hoping you have found some peace.
    Sharyn Hinman

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  December 15, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    No Sharyn no peace just “getting through” and trying not to spoil everyones holiday season. I met with CIA yesterday and I realized how much my son had done in his short time …. thank you for remembering Chris

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December 2012

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