April 3rd- changes- the empty chairs – Chris Ritchey

April 3, 2013 at 1:00 pm 3 comments

alone

Another celebratory weekend- the lead up to the days of trying to focus the mind and body to survive the upcoming days – Gavin’s birthday,
birthday collage


Dinners and egg hunts-

GE DIGITAL CAMERA

and your dad’s birthday
GE DIGITAL CAMERA

all coming together in a “confluence of emotions that beat against my being”.

We no longer celebrate anything the way we used to – all the holidays have changed. However, there is no empty chair at the table in the dining room- all the chairs are now empty on those special occasions. If I cook it is to “take a dish”. I could not bear to go though the rituals of celebration looking at the place at the table where you should be.

Artwork Chris Ritchey  Face Book page

Artwork Chris Ritchey Face Book page


Everything has changed- we are all changed- no longer the people we were or will ever be again. You , not being there is not, I hope, too obvious to those who still join us in the celebrations.

Words are inadequate to say how much you are missed and with a longing borne in a silence which shouts its presence in the very depths of my being . Although you aren’t here you, my darling son, have literally become the 500 pound gorilla of grief in the room but we smile, make small talk and pretend all in fine so we can all get through yet another anniversary of days .

The memories of what should have been are as painful as those that were.

chrisgavebraedy

and another day and another week passes and yet the future is the past and the present and the missing you encompasses all……..

soften collage

and so it passes until the next time…………..

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers. Tags: , , , , , , .

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rich Robbin  |  April 3, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Wow! Always here to listen .

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  April 3, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    that you Rich I know how wonderful some people are and patient with my need to expell the pain from my being by writing – it helps if just for a moment………

  • 3. aka/mozart  |  April 6, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    we all have stories…no exemptions in this world…we all have a story.

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