May 3rd- The gift- Chris Ritchey

May 3, 2013 at 11:27 am 3 comments

Your special place beckons warmth, light and beauty to come once again. The land is sleeping, the trees just stirring, their broken branches have fallen to the earth in the winter winds, dried leaves, so vibrantly green in all their summer hues, now fallen, brown, crumbling , spent, giving back to replenish the earth for another season.

Yet there is life, amongst the sleeping woods, heralding the life which will soon come back to this special place that you so loved. The planting of this early spring life was not part of the natural order of things, anymore more than a parent outliving their child is supposed to be part of the natural order .

The spring bulbs planted in remembrance of you once again push through the bracken , their blossoms yellow with sunshine and green with life reaching up to the warming sun. A reminder we live and remember you and the daffodils nod in agreement they too, will enjoy their brief time in the sunshine but will fade all too quickly.
Since you were taken from us we have been left with despair, doubt, anger, a loss of wonder , hope but with a love for you that continues. Chris, you have also left me with an understanding of a strength, I marveled at you through those awful months , your will to survive, the love you had for your family , how you tried to protect us from your pain and anguish.

I am not as strong as I once thought I was , but you have given me an immunity of sorts.

I have bottomed out in my life, I have no fear of death , I have no fear for myself of terminal disease. I too am spent past worrying about “me”. I live with the most untenable pain every moment of these days but there is a strange sort freedom in this world I now live

I no longer have to tolerate people or situations I don’t want in my life . I can choose now the people I welcome and want in my life , those that give not those that take. I no longer have to tolerate , even for politeness sake , I am not beholden to anyone or anything thing. I can speak my truths without fear of offence or retribution for they can never cause me the depth of pain I live with every day.

There is in this gift of freedom, an armor worn,impenetrable but to a few, forged in the fires of loss. You have given me the knowledge of a love that continues past this mortal coil.

Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

Spring and Pride Returns to Lorain -MAY 18TH The History Park- 1812- 201 hundred years – a recorded city park – Veterans Park Lorain Ohio

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rich Robbin  |  May 3, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Nothing but love!

  • 2. JC  |  May 3, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    This is absolutely stunning. I am so very very sorry. It is truly ironic that included in the ‘gift’ of death is the ability to live deeply, despite the indescribable sorrow and agony. Holding you and your boy in my heart.

  • 3. Colin L. Carpenter  |  May 23, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    from “dealing with grief” and “getting over it”. I hope you can one day learn to accept life as it is and be able to face the day with less bitterness. From one army-child mother to another, I cannot even begin to imagine your pain and although it is an incredibly selfish thought, I pray that I never have to. However, my tears flow for you, my prayers go to you and I send the most gentlest, yet strong hugs to hold you close as you re-piece your shattered heart. I am so so SO very sorry for you. To the lady with the cats, as my own dog lays dying from old age, yet struggling to live, my heart also goes out to you. Love is love. It matters not for which creature. Honour your pets with memories that express your love as you also accept life as it is today. My thoughts and prayers go to everyone listed here and countless others that face the loss of a loved one around the world, each day.

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May 2013

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