June 3rd- no change but you- Chris Ritchey

June 2, 2013 at 10:35 pm 2 comments

csp
The days, the weeks, the months go by- my emotional state ebbs and flows sometimes softly and sometimes raging torrents crash upon me. I manage to gear myself for meetings and known triggers. I try avoid the ones I know will reduce me to emotional incontinence. Those times, when I can’t function with the loss of you , when I have no control -see me turned inside out.

I manage to get through the scheduled meetings like a fighter in training I focus on the event, knowing the cost of control will cause a meltdown of me when I finally let go of the damming process.

This past couple of weeks has found the need of people coming together to once again to try to take back a quality of life in this old neighborhood, your old neighborhood. I managed to attend, I purposely geared my mind not think of you, for to have done so would have seen me once again a puddle.

Block Watches even “those” trigger – once again you were there . I opened the flyer sent by the Lorain Neighborhood Watch Council announcing a meeting and yes on the letter head was the logo you designed. I stopped breathing for just a second, I hadn’t expected it you see, although I should have . I was pleased that your work was still being utilized by this place you called home and I am grateful they still think your work worthy. lnwc
I remember so vividly your response when you came home that weekend from Cleveland Institute of Art. –

Chris the Police Chief is wanting to form a Block Watch Council of all the block watches and they need a logo- will do “some” for me? –

your response:

” Mum am I ever going to get paid for any of these things you have me do?”

No! put it down to community service

“If I was a mechanic would you have me fixing cars for free ?”

Yes! of course if you were a “good” mechanic!

You came up with 4 or 5 logos – a couple I could tell, were a bit hard-hitting and controversial and you said:

don’t worry they won’t choose those – they will choose the generic one

and they did .

As I opened the flyer announcing the latest BW meeting for this old neighborhood how I wished I could call you and say :

Chris I need ……

But instead the one thing I need is you and you are denied me ……………

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

An Open Letter – WARD 2 -NEEDS YOU The BE all and END all of BASKETBALL

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Henery Hawk  |  June 3, 2013 at 10:33 am

    Big hug for ya.

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 3, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    I need one just went to get the mail and what should arrive a letter for Chris with his new credit card as the old one expires this month……..sigh…… so once again sideswiped and having to explain to the credit card company this “young man” is deceased……..and on this day..

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