July 3rd -The fire consumes – Chris Ritchey

July 3, 2013 at 10:35 am 6 comments

Advertisement Champion  -Chris Ritchey

Advertisement Champion -Chris Ritchey

My life seems to have “left me behind” – it races on and yet I have stopped – trapped between worlds- not daring to leave the place where you were with me to the world without my son And yet I am locked into the last days of the world you inhabited and that is as torturous as being in this real world.

Today there will be fireworks at the Port and celebrations in the sky all over the country . How you loved fire and fireworks- to the point of danger .

8 years old and smuggling fireworks under your bed- purchased ( with what currency I know not) from a young neighborhood boy whose parents had no qualms about their own 8-year-old having stashes of fireworks.

How angry and disappointed you were when I found them in a tin box( for protection you said) under your bed and took them away.

You were always so fascinated with fire I would worry about you . We even went for a friendly talk with the Fire Dept. as to the dangers of fire.

But then it was the fire of cancer and the chemical burning of your lungs consumed you. I wanted so much for the spark of hope to burst into flames of continued life for you . Now the fire of loss consumes me , its cold and deadly flames torture my heart and my soul.

Every fire in the sky on this holiday reminds me of you …….

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, Mothers. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Rich  |  July 3, 2013 at 11:52 am

    So real. I remember my 3rd son so well. Him running back to our house, within a half hour, after saying over night for 3 days in a row. Standing at the door, asking… “Is Michael and Jeremy home?” With a huge grin on his face as Let him in!

  • 2. aka/mozart  |  July 3, 2013 at 11:56 am

    19 young men lost their lives in Arizona…fighting a fire. Loss comes to every heart every second of each and any given day.

  • 3. Loraine Ritchey  |  July 3, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    yes it does and their mothers will cry long after the memory of others have become mere embers……..

  • 4. Mark Teleha  |  July 3, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    Thinking of you….

  • 5. Lisa Wendell  |  July 3, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Hi Loraine, I woke up today thinking of Maxx when he was in elementary school. We would go to a local park with a blanket and lie on our backs watching the fireworks show. One wonderful year, we went to Lake Tahoe and lay on the beach watching an incredible display accompanied by rock music. One year, we had a silly little show in our own back yard with sparklers and a few small twirly things that sent out a spray of color. No matter what we did, or where we went, he loved it. Big smile, shining eyes. I cried all the way to work this morning thinking of those days. My heart breaks for all the mother’s who remember such precious moments.

    Love, Lisa

  • 6. Loraine Ritchey  |  July 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    Yes Lisa I don’t think anyone but another mother who has “watched” as her son or daughter died and died slowly can imagine the trauma it causes to one…. it is as if every hour they fought their losing battle is ingrained upon your being. carved and cutting scarring your very essence with each failing breath they took. we are forever changed and very few ( thankfully) can ever begin to understand the place we are…….

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