Archive for December 17, 2013

The Memorial Project- Interview cont. Chris Ritchey Pt 4

chrisart collage
Part One

Part Two

Part Three

The Interview Continued:

Do you feel that memorializing/remembering your child in this way has been beneficial to you? If so, can you describe some of the benefits?

Yes, writing about Chris and his story has been very cathartic, for me at least- and has also filled a need I believe every mother and father has to have their child’s life recognized , they existed, they contributed no matter how little the time .

When my son died we were left with a love that had no outlet. The love that was exclusively for him, that had been his since the day he was born ( and for my part before he was born) has no direction, it has no outlet it seems to bottle up inside one , the grief and lost love chokes and builds inside until it literally brings you to your knees.

Heart of Thorns by  Chris Ritchey

Heart of Thorns
by Chris Ritchey

Sometimes the writing ( like now) causes floods of tears so you can’t see the keyboard and holding back the gulping breaths so you can finish is physically painful, but it also releases.

My daughter and my husband have difficulty in reading , the wounds are so raw but I have saved each post on disc for them and the grandchildren so if and when they are ready it will be available .


Has your family/community/culture been supportive of you and your wish to memorialize and/or remember your child? If so, please describe.

Since I write the unvarnished, and non-sugarcoated truth in all my writings from politics, to history , to the organized church

vatcrest( especially the Roman Catholic Church- who enabled the taking of my son)-

the various treatments due to cancer, some of the international and local community are angry, some are helped especially those going through cancer treatments , some are pleased to know Chris better.

A great many are uncomfortable- there is sometimes a rawness to my writings that people don’t want to face. But on the whole I am not writing for them but for me and the promise to Chris I wouldn’t let the world forget him.


Have you encountered any resistance from your family/community/culture about your desire to memorialize and/or remember your child? If so, please describe.

BFA project  Chris Ritchey

BFA project
Chris Ritchey

Oh yes – some wish I would go away 🙂 some want us to “let it go” – “get on with your life “, “move forward”.

By putting thoughts and our story out for the whole wide world to see or stumble upon opens one to criticism .

Some say horrible things but there is sort of an immunity that comes when you lose a child , apart from losing another child – it is the worst thing that can happen the hurt and pain is literally ground zero – their words cannot burn or sting because you are already in a place of such torment their words, for me at least, are just mere words like so many raindrops splashing on the surface of a bottomless lake.

The last question was published in Part One of this series:

the result to be continued………

December 17, 2013 at 1:07 am 1 comment



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