The Memorial Project-Results- Chris Ritchey Pt 5
December 19th- As I type this morning, once again watching the sunrise over the twinkling lights of the neighbors Christmas decorations lighting the now bare branches of the cherry tree, I am reminded of another December 19th. The day the Lombardis , your bride Angela http://my.clevelandclinic.org/staff_directory/staff_display.aspx?DoctorID=16147 , the Vykas , Gonzales, Zaworskis and Gotts and Father Divas took you my son, to their “family plot” without your kith or kin .
It was an act ( in my view) of pure selfishness,vindictiveness and without pity.
“Your name was RITCHEY , NOT – Lombardi , Vyka , Gonzales, Gott or Zaworski . You were taken to their faith and their closure, denying your family even the “time of your interment in their selfishness.”
As someone said
“it is like Chris’ family didn’t exist”
That day, just a week before the celebration of Christmas, a day of celebration, where they dress in their finest, attend a church and profess to their God they are worthy of taking Him and His Son into their hearts. They celebrate the “Mother of their Church ”
http://www.morningjournal.com/general-news/20091221/mary-mother-of-god-begins-anew but have taken– seemingly without a thought to the consequences of such an act, of inflicting further pain to another mother.
The Memorialization by Bereaved Parents Project– gave me a chance not only to share my son, his story and to realize I was not alone – there were others who walked the path who needed……….
Memorialization by Bereaved Parents
The death of a child is a devastating loss that has a profound impact on parents and a families . Prior research has found that maintaining /continuing bonds with deceased children is common and can be very beneficial.
This project sought to understand how bereaved parents maintain such bonds through memorializing their children as well as the meaning they find in doing so. Participants were asked to provide photographs that depict how they memorialize and remember their children thus allowing participants to provide the visual images of their choosing that capture unique aspects of their experience……….
Their children died from a variety of causes , including illness, accident , murder and unknown causes. All of the participants are female and are diverse in terms of age ethnicity, religious/spiritual beliefs and sexual orientation.
These mothers , including myself , all have the need to remember “out loud” in their own way; whether it is leaving tokens of love at the last tangible place on this earth that holds their child, a special place to go and reflect or call out to the silence “WHY” ?
The need to have their son or daughter remembered for a life that was lived, no matter how brief . The need to have a repository , if you will, of the love that was for that son or daughter that was theirs alone. A love that still flows from a mothers heart , seeking the child for which it was meant.
When the Lombardis, your bride and the “creatures of control” took you away into that place of deceit and cowardice – for not one had the strength to speak of “pity” for your family. The death of human kindness on that day led to the birth of my own memorial. A place where I revisit your life, your story and I can cry my tears and shout WHY? to the morning sunrise. I can remember you and let your art speak ….
I have only words to describe , it is a terrible thing to live out your life without the laughter of your son , incommunicable to those who have not felt this grief’s slashing ferocity. Words are inadequate………
“I will never forget the first moment I saw her work. I felt something inside me stir. It was a connection to the abyss, to the darkness of grief- I knew Kollwitz had seen something that I had also seen. I felt she, too, was a keeper of the dark secrets.
Kollwitz birthed art of the soul, from the depths of traumatic grief so frightening that few dare allow themselves to really see it. During WWII, her art (perceived accurately as anti-war) was banned by Hitler. She witnessed, first hand, the horrors of war and lost far too much because of it: Her grandson, named Peter after her dead son, lost his life in war too.
Look at her work. I mean, really look at it. ”
ED NOTE: Kollwitz’s work can be raw and full of truths it can scream the most primordial scream and does
She wrote of her son:
[I] made a drawing: the mother letting her dead son
slide into her arms.
I might make a hundred such drawings
and yet I do not get any closer to him.
I am seeking him.
As if I had to find him in my work.
And yet everything I do is so childishly foolish and inadequate…
I am shattered, weakened, drained by tears…
Yet new flowers have grown up which would not have grown
without the tears shed this year.
Men do not know the souls of one another.
Only the galley slaves know one another,
who side by side are chained, and gasp for breath.
Entry filed under: Blogging, blogs, Chris Ritchey, Christmas, death, Fathers, grief, hell is other people, Love, Mothers, personal opinion. Tags: Angela (Lombardi) Ritchey Murphy, Angela Murphy Do Fairview, Angela Murphy Westlake, Angela ritchey DO, Angela Ritchey MURPHY DO Cleveland Clinic, Bereaved Parents, Christmas, Christopher D. Ritchey, christopher ritchey lorain, death, disgraceful, grief, Kathe Kollwitz, Lombardi-Lorain, Love, mothers and sons, Roman Catholic Church, Sue and Tim Lombardi Lorain, Sue Lombardi and family Lorain, Teddy Roosevelt, The Arts, Tim Lombardi First Federal Savings and Loan.