The OLD Lady and the not so Rockin'( chair) Rover -Lorain (e)

June 4, 2014 at 2:15 pm 31 comments


It is official I am old – the pronouncement came on WMMS
this morning with ” I think she is an old lady” and she has ( you can almost see the eye roll in the inflection) she has a “BLOG”- what visions that conjured up this morning- Well this little blog ( of 20 readers or so- worldwide ) is not like the communication giants of “radio”. Can you imagine a “blog” written by an old lady? What is the world coming to?

So how did this little ( well not so little) old lady become the topic of discussion on a WMMS morning show? A show geared to the demographics of the 18- 34 year old male called Rover’s Morning Glory? Now Rover, ( Shane French) for the sake of my not in the loop- older readers does not host a flower or horticultural program – The Morning Glory of Mr. French or Rover refers to

Rover’s Morning Glory –( Morning Glory being the double entendre for morning wood- or the vernacular- piss proud
1.(informal) An involuntary erection that a man has upon waking up.(erection on waking): morning glory, morning tent
the morning Glory morning wood.
morning wood (plural morning woods)Synonyms
(erection on waking): morning glory, morning tent.
Insert a blush here from the geriatric grandmother


Mr. French,his “Morning Glory” – the show , the City of Lorain and the Port Authority are bringing to Lorain an event called RoverFest

I can understand the excitement on the 7th floor of City Hall – after all most of the staff including our Mayor meet the demographics of “the expendable income 18-34 male group” – No wonder the “excitement” generated that morning was hard on happy . The Port males are a little out of that age group- but hey I am sure they remember their Glory days!

So what does this “elderly woman” who seemingly has lost interest in the pee proud moments of the male anatomy a long time ago, care a jot for what Mr. French and his show creates, discusses or the people who tune in every morning. Hopefully their pee proud erection has been relieved so they can keep their brains on the news of the day concerning Lorain ( not Lorain with an e) .


The marketing of this event reflects their target audience and whey hey- “there will be asses shaking and panties dropping as 13-15 thousand “jump jockeys and their friends will be descending or in the words of the co- host “invading Lorain” on the Black River Landings on July 26th.


I took issue with the “way” Lorain was being portrayed and stated as such to the Port and to the administration and various others in an email sent after the announcement.

As one listened to the big announcement this morning for the Rover Fest “event ‘ of “asses shaking and panties dropping ” ( how lovely just the picture of Lorain I want to associate with Black River Landing and Lorain) ( for those in doubt that was sarcasm) the organizers stated this was costing them a great deal of money – so just how much is the Port/ City of Lorain getting for this event – apart from the obvious foot traffic for downtown as the crowd spills over probably looking for their lost panties . How many police officers and who is paying them? Just curious color me too old to shake anything but my head Loraine ”

(ED NOTE) According to Rick Novak of the Port Authority The Port of Lorain is garnering $5,200.for the rental of the facility plus utilities

and from the Mayor-

All security costs will be covered by Rover. A private security company will be here in conjunction with the Lorain Police Department as well as other local police departments. Lorain Police are putting together an action plan for the event and can certainly include some of your requests for security in the plan as it is being drafted. We would rather go too far with security and staffing than not far enough.
While this event is on Lorain Port Authority grounds, it is the city’s responsibility to support the event by making sure we dedicate the necessary resources to safety and protection of those attending as well as those living in close proximity. As you think of more ideas, please share them as we want to make sure we have all angles covered. I live in Harborwalk and I, along with my neighbors, share many of the same concerns.

And that started the saga of my radio debut or ‘ How to get on the top rated show for the pee proud promotions.’
My other hat is Co – Chairperson for Charleston Village Society ( no wonder I am old before my time ) trying to promote this “old” neighborhood in a way that reflects past “glory” in the real sense of the word.

To that end – the Executive Board wrote a letter to the Port – the City and the Chief of Police found here-

CVSI RoverFest request

A follow-up interview in the Chronicle Telegram found here :
drew some picturesque consternation from the radio show hosts that morning. A phone call from the show which I declined to take ( read hanging up).
I am not so silly in my dotage as to get into any dialogue on air with those that appeal to the lower half of the male anatomy on their terms.

Today , once again, finds me adding to the ratings and changing the demographics of the Glories of the Morning. Mr. French ( hmm well maybe that is the problem old readers will remember there are some issues with the “French” 😉 – called me after his show yesterday- the conversation was lengthy – well those that know me well know I could “talk for England”-

Mr French had left his radio persona ( on air character of Rover ) on the floor of the studio and had become the “businessman” marketing his event to the ‘other demographic”. The upshot was Mr. French and his event would address our concerns with regard to the parking issues in the community – the security and involve the community in the plans.
I for my part wished the event well- I hope it is a success for the organizers and for the City and Port- This type of “marketing of below the waist and making Lorain “proud” is not my way of promoting Lorain but to each his own but I think better of Lorain and what she could be but if this is the “bar” that is set so be it.

by  Chris Ritchey

by Chris Ritchey

As an aside, I had written a rather scathing blog post re the event that did ridicule and made usage of sarcasm- but since Mr. French , The Port and the Mayor had all confirmed they would take our concerns very seriously I have held that from publication as I said I would . ( although parts of it are in this post 🙂

And remember you are never too old to be part of the 18-34 pee proud crowd- all you will need is 25 dollars tickets for RoverFest 2014 go on sale Friday at 7 AM!
Geriatrics Welcome I am reliably informed but just remember the words of MY grandmother A STANDING COCK KNOWS NO CONSCIENCE”


Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Blogging, Brit take, Charleston Village, city of lorain, Corporate responsibility, hell is other people, media. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

June 3rd- A “World” away- Chris Ritchey Lorain Dudes – The future farmers- flowers galore

31 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mary  |  June 4, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    What is going on at City Hall? A frat party? Do they think that they’re in Animal House or Porky’s? Spare me!

  • 2. aka mozart  |  June 4, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    and once a dick always a dice…. standing or sitting… is still a dick…:)

    .To the Editor:
    I have known about Rover Fest coming to Lorain Ohio from almost conception. I had learned about it (while at work) thru a conversation with a potential client via the phone. I had later confirmed that it was true…but the rumor was it was to be kept secret. Apparently Mr. Shane French (Rover) wanted people to keep a tight lip as he wanted to be the one to announce. So on Monday morning June 2nd, Rover’s Lil morning glory was announced to the listening viewers. A bouncing …no…” booties shaking, panties dropping announcement”.
    Who could blame someone for wanting to bring a hoard of thousands to our Black River Landing that is nestled against the Black River? So very serene, as kayaks and birds cradle the riverbanks. Blades of green grass cool and soft to pad ones tender feet. A beautiful place to have people come to enjoy and relax while listening to music under the stars and moon lite sky….UNLESS…you potentially bring in FIFTEEN THOUSAND people listening to HIP HOP…patty wack give the dog a bone as cheers and jeers echo across the landscape as potential morning glory girls strut their stuff in hope to be the next calendar girl.

    Rover had stated he was going to invade Lorain. The term “invade” would be an understatement. Parking on neighborhood streets in the 2nd ward will be a nightmare. Where Mr. French has had his Festivals in the past…how many were held right smack next to where people were living? Why didn’t our Mayor have some type of community meeting to discuss with us how we felt about our streets and homes being potentially invaded by Rover and his fans? Why was his commitment to Mr. Rover more important than to his taxpaying citizens/ voters? Our Mayor‘s priority should be to us. Why were our concerns not heard or even discussed and even possibly with a resolution that all could live by..or close to it.

    Now we are left with questions and potential problems that we are unable to realistically solve at this juncture. Rover needed us more than we needed that type of venue. Don’t bring that trash to my neighborhood…class is something that this ward lacks. Not more of the same ole same ole…different faces…same outcome…trash in..Trash out. – 146k

    I expected better…I voted for more. This just might be a deal breaker…guess we’ll have to wait and see.

  • 3. aka mozart  |  June 4, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    dick..not dice…where can I edit….? ugh,,,

  • 4. thatwoman  |  June 4, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    you can’t edit only I can 🙂

  • 5. ladalang  |  June 4, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    You aren’t old you’re just wise compared to this low life idiot nudnik. The guy has gained popularity for forcing his staff to eat each others puke, they find humor in fart jokes and poop stains. It’s ten year old boy’s humor at best. Nobody is going to be mistaking them for cutting edge intelligent radio. His followers are low information voters who barely top them in IQ, one member has an 87 IQ (borderline retarded). We aren’t talking brain trust here. It’s garbage radio! Typical zombie entertainment. You lose IQ points listening to it. The fact that’s it’s popular shows the decline in our society. Don’t take it personal, Shane puts everyone down mostly women. I wouldn’t doubt he’s a closet homosexual with the way he degrades women. Consider the source!

  • 6. thatwoman  |  June 4, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Oh I don’t mind just so I can up their ratings:) hm my 5 year old grandson loves fart jokes ( usually aimed at me )and poopy pants humor… and I AM old ! and hopefully so will they be one day – cause you never know and eating others vomit could cause some major issues….. where are their mothers 😉

  • 7. Carla  |  June 4, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    “The term “invade” would be an understatement. Parking on neighborhood streets in the 2nd ward will be a nightmare.”

    I made the suggestion to thatwoman and I’ll post it here, let me know if you think this a good or bad idea.

    My suggestion is that the evening before the event and the day of the event we park OUR cars on the streets, if there is no street parking available then there will be no reason for them to be in the neighborhoods, before and especially AFTER the show and I can’t stress AFTER enough. Yes, there will be car traffic, we’re going to get that no matter what, but no foot traffic.

    If they can’t find parking; they’ll soon figure it out and go elsewhere, anywhere but the Charleston neighborhood. I know some residents will worry about their vehicles not being in their garages or drives, but with no foot traffic and neighbors being aware and paying attention I doubt there would be a problem. We all need to look out for each other during this “event”.

  • 8. aka mozart  |  June 4, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Carla…most do have to park on the street here in my hood…I have a drive..but I like the way you think…atleast a few are doing that….if this were election time..i wonder how things would turn out….the noise level will be off the charts…I can hear it when they have a normal concert on the river..but never bad enough that I want to put a bullet in my head…after all..i am the queen of mean.when it comes to noise levels….I have heard the city is going to make a lot of money on this event..oh my god..really?.OH AND THE HOTELS TOO..THE COUNTY IS IN THE $$$$$..maybe someone will be selling koolaide …but I aint drinking it!

  • 9. thatwoman  |  June 4, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Carla, I would hope since the Port and the City are aware of our concerns we won’t have to barricade ourselves in and that parking will be “planned” and security in this and other abutting neighborhoods will be a paramount concern in those plans. – I will keep everyone informed when I have been given the plan- and then we can decided what needs to be addressed.

    The average age around here is the over 50’s and we are the age group that votes – something everyone involved needs to remember

  • 10. aka mozart  |  June 4, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    It will be deal breaker for me…and you know how us folks remember things…well…maybe not..such as why I have walked into a room, or what I had for dinner two nites ago…but when it comes to my wellbeing and peace and quiet….I do not forget nothing!.

  • 11. aka mozart  |  June 4, 2014 at 6:30 pm….this is what comes to our city…just one of many examples…..

  • 12. Mark Teleha  |  June 4, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Maybe the clones that were charging for parking at the City Center for the International will be back.

    I can’t wait to hear that this event cost the city more in extra security and clean-up fees than the money the Port took in.

    French lost any respect he may have had from me when he went drunk and disorderly shooting off his mouth as much as his fireworks. Some of it sounded like hoo-ha, and I was with him. But then he copped a plea and I knew he lied the whole time. Some of us will set up chairs on the Bascule and watch the festivities.

  • 13. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 4, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    I have visions of the bridge going up Mark 😉 at an inopportune moment – I have said I want an accounting after the event we will see….

  • 14. Carla  |  June 4, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    I know I’m being a bit paranoid about this (yeah, understatement), but I do not trust the Port Authority or the City of Lorain to have our little neighborhoods best interests as first and foremost in this instance, I think the almighty dollar is probably coming in first.

    This is the biggest thing I’ve seen Lorain bring in to town since I moved here and I’m just not very confident in their ability to handle this size and type of crowd.

    I used to be a listener of Rover’s, I’m almost embarrassed to say that, until the show just started getting dumb and dumber (what he called two of his interns on air), so I’ve followed the RoverFest over the years and what it comes down to is the more controversial and off the wall it is the happier Rover and company are. The first video AKA Mozart posted here is not an isolated incident, it is the norm.

    I do apologize, thatwoman, for ranting on your blog. What is comes down to is that the city will do what it will do, hopefully paying attention to your input, and I hope they will pull it off without too many problems. I will continue to take care of my little corner of Lorain, try to mind my own business (I did say “try” LOL) watch out for my neighbors and hope for the best. Yep, lots of hope going on there.

  • 15. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 4, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    Carla do not apologize your concerns are not unfounded- the deal is done and as one community leader remarked

    “What disappoints me in all of this is how quickly our community leaders are willing to allow an event and support an event whose sole purpose appears to be the objectification of women and the celebration of substance abuse. I had hoped that we were better than that as a community”

  • 16. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 4, 2014 at 8:53 pm


    Well these are the places in the world that following the “old Lady and the not Rockin ( chair) Rover Post but the stats are nowhere near the amount that are hitting the over 4 thousand today of the If you want to cover something up post (UK) …. 🙂

  • 17. aka mozart  |  June 5, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    well…a digital frequency scanner is 499.00 at radio shack….I might have to think about this….very seriously..i will not have the slut fest going on and not knowing what problems are occurring in our back yard so to speak…wth…..

  • 18. Mary  |  June 6, 2014 at 2:24 am

    Mozart please keep us posted then! lol

  • 19. aka mozart  |  June 6, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Mary…I will buy a scanner…and I am thinking I am going to send the city the bill for reimbursement….I will take folks phone numbers and addresses..and when I hear calls in your area I will call you and tell you the fyi….I will not leave my home in the hands of these idiots…I will be hands on to make sure no shit happens here…our safety is first and foremost…but so far my voodoo doll is the server for rover fest tickets is down..and no one able to buy tickets yet…that’s a start..

  • 20. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 6, 2014 at 11:51 am

    well it could be the amount of volume of those accessing the site that has caused the hiccup 😉 anyway we will have to wait and see if the sell out is for the tickets or the city

  • 21. aka mozart  |  June 6, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Amherst is going to be filming for a movie ths summer..and we are going to be sloshing in piss and vomit while slutting for attention…you tell me who is the winner. the sell out was in 10 minutes….suggested by co host (dum)…a good swimmer could swim to get in…lol…will border patrol be there watching the borders of the site…omg…what can I say …..ugh….

  • 22. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 6, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Well we will now see how well the Port and City handle the influx of visitors – they asked for this ….now let us see if Lorain can handle all the morning glories , passion flowers and the fertilizer that they need will be a test they wanted especially the Port…..

  • 23. aka mozart  |  June 6, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    fertilizing will be no problem…and there wil be asses shaking as well as penis’s….becareful which way the wind is blowing….the beer run~ith over? yummmmmmmm….but I think the parking garage of the famous spritzer hotel..would be a fabulous place to take a piss in private…rats and mortar don’t care….:)

  • 24. aka mozart  |  June 6, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Well.. I spoke with Mayor Morley of Eastlake Ohio this evening… where they ONCE had roverfest at Captains field (I believe it is called)..and his words where “one and done” it did not benefit the city…lots of “F” and F.U. words over the PA system for all to hear…women with their tops off while officers were telling then to put their clothes back on….It was not a fit for their city..they did not make that much money..and nor would..they have it there again.

    He was very very nice…about 57 yrs of age..with two daughters of his own….Mayor Morley has confirmed what I have been hearing all along…I say..”grab your children and head for higher elevation on the 26th of July… It was said today on air that since they sold out in 10 minutes perhaps we could make it a two day event…Rover said he “didn’t think Lorain could handle two days”…(well he got that right…can hardly stand the thought of one day)…and Dum had said that if you were a good swimmer since it was sold out that ..”one could swim to the site”.another,,,lol….ugh.

  • 25. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 6, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    I have no words – we will see- I just have visions of the populace welcoming he barbarians at the gate….. 🙂

  • 27. Renee Dore  |  June 8, 2014 at 4:09 am

    I spoke with the Mayor of Eastlake the day it was announced. His conversation was brief but he said the same thing to me. I hope the money profited for the Port is worth the effort, but when I heard the Follow the Fish fish sculptor might not be up that day nor the train inside the depot-it was advised to remove both -the fish outside and the trains inside – you have to wonder why??? What message does this send if you have that kind of warning being discussed way before the event even happens???

  • 28. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 8, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    As I started to write a response – I realized it will be too much for a comment- I guess another post will be coming you see for me it is not about the type of “bands” the music performed , the content of a Cleveland radio show that seemingly ( from the little I have heard) is a wanna be Howard Stern format- the content of bodily function humour is on par with my 5 and two year old grandson.

    No , my concern is with the Administration and the Port – you see in their rush to get people into Lorain- to show they can handle large events they have taken Lorain to a new “low standard” of what is now acceptable in our community .

  • 29. Lisa  |  June 12, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    Here’s a link to the CT’s Lorain County scanner app:
    If you have a smartphone, you can grab the free app [“Scanner Radio” for Android users] and listen to the same link on your phone wherever you are.

  • 30. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 13, 2014 at 11:22 am

    my phone is dumb a little like me and can only do one thing at a time 😉

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