October 3rd- Life- Chris Ritchey
They say when you drown your life flashes before your eyes. I drown every day in my tears but it is your life I see as I speak of the mundane, put on a kettle, vacuum- I am apart from life and the reality that is now my life.
Every mother I have spoken to , written to, and been in general contact with as to the place we find ourselves – those who have lost a son a daughter- has one thing we all share “we don’t want our child to be forgotten” as other lives move on, “we don’t want their name to be lost to the world, we want their existence to be noted” They lived and were loved.
My cathartic outlet has been writing about you , using your artwork , your photos, your take on life and that you existed, were a part of this world .
Yes, when I Google you I still get that damned disgracefully narcissistic obituary written by the Lombardis and family –
I had to put the record straight after I read that obit- it was not of my son. I fought out of the hell that surrounded me in those days of darkness , a terrible surreal time of death to write of you, I could not let their words- cold , devoid of you,to be the last written- you were so much more than their words. ….
As I scan the images and words written after your death I find your life, too short, but still a part of present days. You evolve and add to the life information a keyboard click away….the search engines powering away through cyber space bring you once more to the fore.
The days of your passing have turned into years but the “images” continue tell their tale, they flash by me as I scroll through the images of your life . I see laughter , tears, hope, continuation of life, love and talent . I also see selfishness and deceit by those that supposedly loved and cared, all written on a page that isn’t tangible and yet is there for those that search, not forgotten- just as you are there and never forgotten………. I love you and I know your love surrounds us still…………..
Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, grief, Love, Mothers. Tags: Angela (Ritchey) Murphy DO, Angela Murphy Westlake, Bing, broken life, Chris Ritchey, Chris Ritchey Lorain, Christopher D. Ritchey, christopher ritchey lorain, cyber space, death, Google, life continues, Lombardi-Lorain, Love, mothers and sons, Yahoo.