The parallel world- lights bright- Christmas of White

December 21, 2016 at 9:37 pm 6 comments

Another Christmas – it came anyway- no matter my world fell apart just days previous to its arrival. I could actually relate to Scrooge and his quote

“If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.” Charles Dickens – A Christmas Carol

The lights decorating the houses blurred through tears, were wished away. No Christmas cards were opened as they lay on the mat intermingled with sympathy cards- my mother became the keeper of the cards . I wished the merriment over, I wished it all to go away. I had lost hope , my son, my belief in kindness in death (thanks to Tim and Sue Lombardi, their daughter and their “priest” , their “will of control”- that wickedness not forgiven.


What faith I had was taken with his Chris’ last breath and as I saw the faces of his church- going holier than thou in-laws , the look on his brides face, no grief there just a relief there would be no long term dealing with his illness. The haunting of a Christmas past not forgotten as lights twinkle and candles burn.

And yet Christmas comes again and again and once more I am caught up in its intrusiveness . I still “visit” Christmas – how do you deny the children, my grand children, their excitement, their belief in goodness , the love for all the trappings- they refuse to “tone down” Christmas. Christmas for them explodes with laughter and happiness- as it should be.

Christmas has been “managed in this house” – no tree adorns the living room, my mother sends and receives cards decorated her Christmas grotto in her little living room. Gone are the Christmas Past, Christmas present but the world of children’s wonder is visited.

Still the cry – Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, fought over as to the “greeting- the dogma of belief that your “holiday of religion” is the “real one” and Christian or not you should be caught up in Merry Christmas continues to wreak havoc around the world. .

I shop for little ones on line- and venture out only to get my daughter her special present , the children will receive their over the top present from Chris- the “Chris-miss- present”

On this latest trip to “holiday” as I waited in the line of ” holiday traffic” the radio started playing the “holiday happy music” as I reached to turn it off I realized this wasn’t one I had heard before ( maybe I had and had just forgotten). The song fitted my mood. I listened for a bit then traffic and horns of a different kind were blaring. I came home and went to the computer pulled up the song ( now forty years old )- another decade indeed another century – Vietnam- the Middle East the death and dying continuing. The song topped the UK charts – maybe it didn’t get played here in Lorain – it was controversial- this “Christmas Song” was one that struck home .

“I Believe in Father Christmas” is a song by English musician Greg Lake with lyrics by Peter Sinfield. Although it is often categorized as a Christmas song, this was not Lake’s intention. He said that he wrote the song in protest at the commercialization of Christmas. Sinfield, however, said that the words are about a loss of innocence and childhood belief. Released in 1975, the song reached number two on the UK Singles Chart.

They said there’ll be snow at Christmas
They said there’ll be peace on earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgin’s birth
I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
’till I believed in the Israelite
And I believed in father Christmas
And I looked to the sky with excited eyes
’till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise…………………

And so another Christmas comes and the questions linger along with the pain…..

Entry filed under: a Cow -elle opinion, Chris Ritchey, death, grief, Love, religion. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Dec 3rd- The Loop- Chris Ritchey Lorain – History Mystery- Her name was Clara

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Robert J. Gargasz  |  December 21, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    Merry Christmas

    On Wed, Dec 21, 2016 at 4:37 PM, That Woman’s Weblog wrote:

    > thatwoman posted: ” Another Christmas – it came anyway- no matter my world > fell apart just days previous to its arrival. I could actually relate to > Scrooge and his quote “If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about > with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips shou” >

  • 2. Dave  |  December 22, 2016 at 1:27 am

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this song. I was unaware of it. VERY powerful. I found video of it on YouTube. It hits hard and suits my mood. I have grown to HATE this time of year!!!!!!!
    Thinking of you!!!!

  • 3. thatwoman  |  December 22, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    Thanks Dave it hit me hard too – but made sense to me where nothing much else does anymore…

  • 4. thatwoman  |  December 22, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    Thank you Bob I appreciate your thinking of me .

  • 5. muley  |  December 23, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    been listening to this during the holidays since it’s release, a very pleasant tune that easily let’s my mind drift back…..merry christmas to you and the family.

  • 6. thatwoman  |  December 24, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    I guess the radio was playing this more this year since apparently he died this December – as I said I don’t remember this song but then again I forget what room I am going into …….

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December 2016

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