Dec 3rd- The waiting – Chris Ritchey

December 3, 2017 at 12:15 am 2 comments

The dark days are here – night-time draws ever closer- I am as a child  frightened of the coming bleak hours/ days –  cuddled down in the bed that is life -looking for warmth- a place to  escape  the dreading –  a window has a glimmer of a lighter shade of night illuminating the place where I  lay.

Still my  eyes are drawn to  the corners , where darkness has gathered  and I know that as the dying days draw ever nearer I will have to  face that darkness that has accumulated  and grown over the days , months and years .  As hard as I try to  keep back the darkness of those days of death  , they are ever-present waiting  to  be released by  the memories of your dying   and those terrible days.

The hope – massacred  by  cancer  causing the onslaught of a pain so deep , a scream that never ends  just becomes silent – to  all but a few.  Every  year I dread these days , the holidays  that hold so  much  more to  me now than pumpkin pies, turkey, lighted trees , singing – they  are tinged with  a blight  that dulls happiness to  that of a  shadow  of holidays past.

 

You  are with  us , I  know.. more so than any other … and for that I  am grateful.. but I  long to  see your face.. hear your  voice…… and laugh at your irreverence instead  I have to  pull over my  face  the  covers of protection-   muffle my  sobs into  the bosom of my  family   and wait…………….

I love and miss you  more with  each  passing day

 

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Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, Christmas, grief, Love, men of substance, Mothers, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Dennis Flores  |  December 4, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    I was with my dearest and lovely sis, as the last breathe of air expelled from her lungs. I cried as the angels of light came into the room to receive her spirit to carry into the heavens.

  • 2. thatwoman  |  December 4, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    I am so sorry Dennis – I know the pain and missing of the memories that should have been —–

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