Archive for February, 2019
Feb 3rd- sick of hospitals- Chris Ritchey
A whole month has passed since I last wrote and I have in the last three weeks spent more time in ER’s talking to Doctors -that don’t know us -explaining past issues. ICU becoming my 2nd home and all the different protocols.
I want to get off this band wagon of monitors, that beep and fluctuate I have seen too many of them since you were in that dreadful Main Campus Cleveland Clinic (Tausig). I have traversed the halls , waiting rooms in hospitals in Elyria, Westlake , Houston Texas and Lorain.
I am so tired of the unexpected and having to have the strength to advocate. This latest ill-health go around sudden and quick is going to drag out into months. Touch and go 10 days ago…….
.
I can spot an officious nurse at 10 places, know the ones that listen , talked to professionals , that know their stuff I am sure , but the accent is thick so I become infuriating to them as I have to say “repeat that please.”
I have sat in ER’s waiting for results of scans and tests. I have sat in the waiting rooms with total strangers that reflect the fear , hopefulness and dread that I know is written on my face just as it is on theirs .
I am exhausted with illness, dying and decisions , keeping up my strength to be my family’s advocate all the while wanting to run away and not have to deal with anything at all. Life changes looming.
One of the most infuriating things is the fact that all these different hospital systems but when it is an emergency you are taken to the nearest ER . If they are under a different network your health records are not available, so the ER does not have a base line as to your previous health issues. Family are left explaining in layman’s terms as to your history and then when you contact you own medical team you have to explain the new issues. You can request those medical records be sent ( they don’t like it but insist).
Anyway weeks of hell again looking at those monitors for every heartbeat…………… and the horrible reminders of your last days flooding in my brain as the smells , the squeak of rubber shoes on shiny floor , the monitor alarms add yet another pain to deal with as you sit quietly waiting………..
I love you still and your bravery still reminds me to fight
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