Posts filed under ‘a Cow -elle opinion’
So poor old Don was found ripped from his roof damaged but not broken ! Now I wonder why poor old Don was targeted for victimization and who could have been irate with regard to his postings??? The clues are piling up- he has after all only been a guest blogger once
and the subject of a post once
Certainly your average Neanderthal doesn’t have it in for “donspouts” as their modus operandi. Will a complaint to the Building Dept. follow ???
The case of the Curious Neanderthal…….. to be continued – hopefully not … but watch this space.
I had noticed the other day that from my mum’s upstairs window you could reach out your hand and pick an apple , the kitchen window has tomatoes within arms reach and the front window living room window was the same reach out and pick. I had my husband take photos for the blog so I could segue from Chris’ Birthday post
with something not so dour until I posted the next post on the housing of Lorain and her court.
I like my 90 year old leaded glass windows , although they are a bugger to fix if they ever get broken , which has happened twice and it was a pain finding anyone with the knowledge to fix them.
However, this morning this household woke to glass and shattered windows. Funny thing was when the Insurance asked for a recent picture of the front window before the act of destruction by a disturbed mind I had a very recent photo
to go along with what happens when a Neanderthal brain, trapped in their lower than shit on the shoe lifestyle – creeps up to the front of your home and with the reasoning of a sub-human throws a huge chunk of concrete at leaded glass windows . Such a clever “come back’ / and or retaliatory stance- but we are dealing with the underbelly thinking of some of Lorain’s citizens.
The police duly arrived-
did we not hear or see anything
– well I had taken a sleeping pill( two actually). It has been an emotionally wrecked week due to what would have been my son’s birthday and mine and an anniversary- all things that used to be celebrated. Not much sleep in this household this past week so we are pretty much exhausted.
was barking and my husband thought Shadow was barking at the groundhogs that come for the fallen apples. We didn’t listen to the dogs. We have cameras out the back , because that is where a lot of “happenings” take place – looks like more for the front now.
So the next question :
Did I have any idea who did it and why?
WELLLLLLL , I can think of a lot of people who don’t like me , who are aggrieved and angry at some of my blog posts but who reacts with vengeance and vindictiveness?
BUT I had to be fair I have quite a list of suspects :
I have written about on some despicable and selfish people, ( in my opinion)
Out of town landlords, LLC’s
The Catholic Church https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/ignorestance-and-the-roman-catholic-church-part-6/
even a drug dealer or two
and some council members/ politicians
Lorain City School and Board shenanigans
( At least one “gentleman”- used with sarcasm – threatened my welfare if I came within 10 ft of him- he was flaming angry – I am told ;)
Mayors and politics too many to list . over the past 10 years.
Registered Sex Offenders ….
City Departments especially Building Dept
https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/08/05/outdoor-showrooms-lorain-by-don-the-downspout/ ( hmm back to that original retribution)
Oh the list goes on……
As my husband told the two policemen
“ you would do better making a list of those that wouldn’t do it”
It is true I have been quite prolific in my writings but looking over the 60 odd categories and over 1,500 posts on this blog alone not counting WoM and other writings. A lot of these people I have written about have left , died, are in jail and moved on. They are more likely to hit me with lawyers than concrete . And I am sure they would have if I didn’t back everything I write with links and or documentation upon which I base my opinions.
So the question remains: Who has threatened retribution, who has been stirred up in the past few days, who borders on Neanderthal thinking. I simply can’t believe the Roman Catholic Church would condone “concrete vengeance”, or city council members , the media nah! they throw words not concrete.
If it is this “ape” of civilized behaviours way of frightening me – Well good luck with that – The very worst thing that can happen in one’s life and my life is watching my wonderful talented son die by increments for 6 weeks – hour upon hour day upon day- nothing is as terrible as that – I have faced that fear and been engulfed by it .
Throwing a tantrum at a window doesn’t scare me , nothing does not even my own death. So sorry if I haven’t given you the reaction you wanted but the house is now marked and monitored to protect the panes of the innocent ;) .
I don’t get out much – prefer to stay in my own little world but when I do something usually finds me. And me being me has to look further into the subject. This week has been no different from the choice of parking place to the Powering Ohio’s Progess-
Parking Place :
I attended the demolition of a house on 6th Street you can access the links here
And of course there is also a back story on this one! How did this little house connect with an Independent candidate for the President of the United States ( watch this space).
I parked a little further down the street in the shade of a large tree. As I sat there, waiting for the demolition I looked at a cute cottage like house , faded and somewhat forlorn . It had character and I believe was much-loved in its day. It was for sale I wanted to see what it was like inside so I went to Zillow http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1235-W-6th-St-Lorain-OH-44052/34542849_zpid/ who pronounced the home
Quaint country charmer in the City! Good sized colonial on desirable street with lots of potential awaits the Buyer ready to express their renovation talents. This home has a large backyard and detached garage, unfinished bsmt, lots of light in the living room, ample sized bedrooms. Property is sold in as-is condition, Buyer to assume any and all point of sale requirements and repairs needed. Buyer responsible for own due diligence, inquiry and verification of all property information, condition, square footage and parcel data. Broker is not liable or responsible to verify any information as all data in MLS is reflective of public records. Buyers recommended to investigate all data. Cash sales only”
The photos were disappointing, the little home that probably was loved and cared for- by generations now pretty much a sad place………Photos from Zillow
Gone is the little porch railing , the landscaping and the inside ( sigh)
Deutsche Bank I know of old- but who was the current owner that purchased the “property ‘ AFTER POINT OF SALE in May of 2014 – 5 months after : Flat Iron Holdings they are out of Delaware but track back to California and they want cash! ( they should be hit with a flat iron if you ask me )-
but more interesting to me was the fact that the seller to Flat Iron was Mom Haven 9 LP- Texas ( and that had another company listed as an officer Momhaven 1 LLC which picked it up from Deutsche Bank – but I find interesting is Momhaven 1 LLC is also you guessed it – Vision Properties the people who are involved with 1348 West Erie (no POS) and 329 Hamilton ——–
as documented here https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/07/24/lorain-common-core-values-and-pos-pt-5/
and how do I know this?
From Houston Real estate transfers
Jun. 8 N/A
Buyer: Jose Arredondo
Seller: Mom Haven 9 Lp, Momhaven I LLC (Partner), Vision Property Management LLC-Through A Consent To Action Taken Without Special Meeting Of General and Alexander Szkaradel
Well there you have it “taking an interest in Lorain “…
Then a trip to City Council last evening, where things got curiouser and curiouser – a resolution of support apparently forthcoming by two of the three council at large for full council-
Oh it is just paperwork, City Council pass resolutions all the time- all nicey, nicey to support business, – resolutions mean nothing really or do they?
After last night’s meeting I did some checking on this one:
You can find the Powering Ohio’s Progress Here :
Worrying to me, are these words from the press release – and we all know the usage of the English language and gobbledygook!
“While the typical residential customer using about 750 kilowatt-hours of electricity per month could expect to see a modest increase in the initial years
what is as modest increase when it is at home??? and more worrying is the Disclaimer of Maybe
From their own news release ….. red flags flying all over this in my opinion- and I became even curiouser !
This news release includes forward-looking statements based on information currently available to management. Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties. These statements include declarations regarding management’s intents, beliefs and current expectations. These statements typically contain, but are not limited to, the terms “anticipate,” “potential,” “expect,” “will,” “intend,” “believe,” “estimate” and similar words. Forward-looking statements involve estimates, assumptions, known and unknown risks, uncertainties and other factors that may cause actual results, performance or achievements to be materially different from any future results, performance or achievements expressed or implied by such forward-looking statements, which may include the following: the speed and nature of increased competition in the electric utility industry, in general, and the retail sales market in particular; the ability to experience growth in the Regulated Distribution and Regulated Transmission segments and to successfully implement our sales strategy in the Competitive Energy Services segment; the accomplishment of our regulatory and operational goals in connection with our transmission plan and planned distribution rate cases and the effectiveness of our repositioning strategy; the impact of the regulatory process on the pending matters before the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission and in the various states in which we do business including, but not limited to, matters related to rates and pending rate cases and the Electric Security
and it went on and on- so I checked with the dreaded detractors you know the naysayers and the haters. and this is what I discovered a couple said
Stated Scott Gerfen, Ohio Consumers Counsel spokesperson:
“1.9 million consumers paid billions of dollars to FirstEnergy for its transition to deregulated power plants, under a 1999 Ohio law. Fifteen years later, FirstEnergy is again asking consumers to pay charges related to the power plants. FirstEnergy’s requests include asking the government (the PUCO) to guarantee profits for what are deregulated power plants whose profits should instead be determined by the electricity market. Needless to say, we are concerned for consumers…”
The Sierra Club’s Dan Sawmiller agreed and criticized similar requests from Duke and AEP:
“These proposals from Ohio’s utilities are nothing more than a request to have Ohio’s electricity customers spend their money to bail out dirty old, obsolete power plants. These power plants are expensive and are being replaced in the market by cheaper, cleaner sources of generation, and we should not bail these corporations out now that they are unable to compete.”
and to be fair let us hear the arguments from
Mr. Chuck Jones President and CEO of Akron based First Energy Corporation
Vague usage of the English language – controversy– I certainly hope our city council members etc. do their due diligence into looking to this “possible” requested resolution and are prepared to say WHY they voted and if they know how much their vote would cost Lorainites or in fact- who could benefit ! BUT I ” somehow, think” that “possibly” that “may not” be the case. ;)
There I was dangling free and discharging onto the ground ( well not exactly since it was January and I was frozen) when I was discovered in my illegality by Mrs. Dye of Dye’s Appliances and of the Design Review Board and her offspring-
Not only me, I am ashamed to say , but ( Gary) the garage was sore in need of some paint on three of his sides – His one side compromised by the “growth” unchecked by the property next door – which happens to be owned by the City of Lorain. ;)
So Mrs. Dye , in her capacity of a sitting Board Member of what is called The Design Review Board- in the subject of the email, sent the Chief Building Inspector Klinar on a journey to 4th street that late January day to confirm I was illegal and Gary the Garage was becoming an eyesore.
In fact, Mrs. Dye did so more than once .
You see, Mrs. Dye was really “ticked off” with one of my owners , so she discharged her venom , in this downspout’s opinion, by using her position as a member of a city board to get the complaints seen to at once- well with in 4 business days. Something about that rankles, as this was a private citizen being targeted by a member of a City Design Review Board ( not in their jurisdiction) by using another city office but of course she also, in our opinion, tried to intimidate and coerce the Lorain Administration in the same e-mail . I think there maybe an issue here but I digress:
I had to be connected within 6 days
Poor old Gary the Garage, he had to be scraped and painted and fixed by April 30th- which my owner said, was in legal terms was “arbitrary and capricious ” in that time line so she ( the one who writes) sent a letter which you can read here:
I am pleased to say I, Don the downspout, was duly connected in those cold , cold February days and yes! by August 1st Gary the Garage, has been duly , scraped , mended and painted- and his design colours( hope that meets with those of the Design Review Board – neighboring properties taken into account) are thanks to the fact that whilst the garage was being “fixed” his doors of red are to match the red dump truck that has been parked on that city lot for a month if not more!
A letter to the city followed stating we are now in compliance with Gary’s portraits – found here Garage citation inspection 1127
NOTE: UPDATE you will see by the following J- Pg. our violations ( such as they were) have now been officially abated !
My owner did get some benefit out of all this brouhaha- she (who really could be the cat’s mother) was able to fill pages and pages on this subject of “Building Codes and their enforcement” ( or not) . I was fixed and the garage painted because it was so WE WERE NOT in compliance !!!
I wonder what dreaded fate would have befallen my owners if we had ignored the ORC ? Judge for yourself!!
Let’s visit those situations, where seemingly, there is such a lot non- compliance – especially with Lorain’s outdoor showrooms – Readers can you honestly say that I a mere downspout should be compared to say – this :
3200 Jaeger Road – (photo- August 4th-2015 5:00 pm.) click on the photo it is really much worse up close!
3200 Jaeger Road- is owned by ( according to the Lorain County Auditor )
and it looks like since the Auditor last took the photo the “lawn ornaments” have flourished in these ripe conditions of non- accountability
Now how can I say that – non accountability? A quick check with the city – This property has been cited time and time again starting in September 9th 2011 you can access that complaint here
Finally an appearance before the Judge-JUDGE COOK- of the Housing Court JUNE 26TH 2015 4 years later
Now we are getting somewhere, especially since in the file the report of Mr. Daniel Esterle flagged down the Inspector swearing at him and ready to sue the city , according to the report filed, which can be seen here
Judge Cook, found the defendant -GUILTY- and slapped a sentence on him of – wait for it $150.00″ that is One Hundred and Fifty dollars plus court costs….. Oh well just about the cost of another lawn mower then? Not bad 4 years of citations, 4 years of a lovely outdoor showroom and the cost of doing business for these property owners a mere $150.00 – sounds like a deal!
Of course Mrs. Dye also has an outdoor showroom – a lovely site as you are welcomed to Lorain – Part of her DESIGN Plan for Lorain – one presumes-.
If these objects were declared “junk” she would have at least have to fence it in- but then she wouldn’t be allowed a junk yard in downtown Lorain so we have her “outdoor showroom” welcoming our visitors!
Although, those doors on refrigerators etc. are quite worrying . I thought there was a Federal Law about that – hazard to little ones climbing in – wasn’t that the Consumer Protection Act- can’t be can it? The city wouldn’t allow hazards to small children ? Oh well! probably just another fine anyway and small cost of doing business.
A little earlier on in the year May 2015 taken from Broadway – looks like business is good more drop offs-
As you drive into downtown along Broadway-what an interesting conversation piece as we drive along looking at the lovely Port Authority complex on one side- the welcome sign what attraction can that be on the left?
-” is it – junk- garden art- the outdoor showroom of opinion-” I wonder what the artist had in mind???Has to be there by DESIGN
Due to the fact vehicles (Dye’s) had blocked the street, a turn around had to be found that August day and what to wondering eyes did appear – well more than a dangling downspout at 214- W. 10th, a neighbor of Dye’s Appliances – now this property did not get this way in a year or so – I wonder why neighbor Dye of the Design Review Board would put up with it.
But a new use for BLUE TARPS has been found- this lovely piece of Lorain real estate is owned ( according to the auditor) Parcel Number: 02-01-003-120-012
Address: ESSER MANAGEMENT INC
214 10TH ST W LORAIN, OH 44052
Tax Bill Mailed to: ESSER MANAGEMENT INC
1138 LEXINGTON AV LORAIN, OH 44052 and Esser Management tracks back to ( according to the Secretary of State)
Another quick check with Lorain Building Dept
“This building was cited on 4/20/2015.
Code violations: 304.2 / 304.7 / 304.10 / 308.1.
The owner called and said he is planning to demolish the building. I gave him some time.
No changes and no response.
Sent to court.
OH! OH! I wonder what the “accountability” for this will be??? Enquiring Donspouts want to know-
Seriously, this crime and punishment is downright laughable and very, very annoying to those that do follow the law. Do they write the punishment into the cost of doing business – because each of the aforementioned are in BUSINESS!!
…… more to come – unfortunately
Monday Morning Update: FYI– the response received from the Lorain County Auditor’s Office with reference to my question as to where does the ” sale being blocked come from”- because I can’t find any where it would happen– the process seems to be reactive rather than proactive ”
The purpose of transferring deeds through the Auditor is to maintain an accurate record of property ownership and parcel identification and to collect conveyance fees required by Ohio Revised Code (ORC) Section 319.20 and 322.02. – See more at: http://www.clarkcountyauditor.org/auditors-office/real-estate-division/#sthash.Ouscfi5Z.dpuf
I am responding to your July 21, 2015 email regarding – Point of Sale Lorain question.
The purpose of transferring deeds through the County Auditor is to maintain an accurate record of property ownership and parcel identification and to collect conveyance fees required by Ohio Revised Code.
At the time of transfer, our office will review and process documents as prescribed by the Ohio Revised Code and the Lorain County Standards for Land Conveyances. Under the laws that we must follow, there is no language that mentions a point of sale inspection must be completed in order to transfer real property. Therefore, the County Auditor has no authority to stop or reject any real estate from transferring that did not complete a point of sale inspection.
Real Estate Assistant Chief Deputy Auditor
Part One– https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/06/15/lorain-common-core-values-and-math-pt-1/
Part Two- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/lorain-common-core-values-and-math-pt-2/
Part Three- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/lorain-common-core-values-and-math-pt-3/
Part Four- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/06/30/lorain-common-core-values-and-math-pt-4/
The Point of Sale – Lorain- Do they or don’t they- Laws conveniently broken!!!!!!
When Point of Sale was introduced January 2014
“Effective January 1, 2014, The City of Lorain enacted Ordinance No. 173-13 in connection with the Point of Sale Program.”
Oh there was such an uproar- banks – landlords – realtors all screaming blue murder.
The local news media covered the situation the pros and cons
” Sales would be blocked until repairs are made and failure to make repairs could result in first-degree misdemeanor convictions and up to six months imprisonment, a $1,000 fine or both.
For those of us, living in this old neighborhood, that has been diced, sliced and abused for decades, proponents of POS this was good news- maybe some of the rot in Lorain would be abated.
Banks such as First Federal Savings and Loan- the neighborhood bank( as they proclaim themselves) had issues- Well I have issues with them their track record of dumping property in this neighborhood leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I say dump because their sales prices have run anywhere from 10,000 on up to as recently as $22,000 ( actual 12,000 we were reliably informed) on my street which has caused in my opinion our property values listing to tank- thank you very much.
But let us take a look at the poster child of the media
1348 West Erie– This “historical” although not quite as historical as the state led us to believe
made the Morning Journal http://www.morningjournal.com
Lorain house sets record with $45,750 escrow requirement
In this case the home was owned ( after a foreclosure by)
The home is owned by the Federal National Mortgage Association, commonly known as Fannie Mae
So Fannie Mae ( weren’t they one of the culprits in the 2008 in the subprime fiasco))
HOW did this property – the poster child of history mystery AND of the highest record amount to be put in escrow manage this transfer after TWO MONTHS AFTER POINT OF SALE ?
Parcel Number: 02-02-027-105-007 – 1348 West Erie- Lorain
Owner Name &
Address: KAJA HOLDINGS 2 LLC
16 BERRYHILL RD COLUMBIA, SC 29210
Tax Bill Mailed to: KAJA HOLDINGS 2 LLC
16 BERRYHILL RD COLUMBIA, SC 29210
In fact another property in our “hood” transferred quietly
329 Hamilton Ave.
You might remember this one if you read this blog it was mentioned as having a blue tarp roof for three years but it too changed hands – once nine months after POS ( foreclosure ) and then the “bank” sold it on 11 months after
Having a quick look at the info as to the buyer – the tax address and the owners looked familiar – Yes! that is correct another LLC using the same address as the purchaser of 1348 West Erie Address: RVFM 11 SERIES LLC
16 BERRYHILL RD COLUMBIA, SC 29210
A rose by another other – stinks!!!
The questions began to the county and the city – where was the sales would be blocked portion of the program-( as mentioned in the Chronicle Telegram article)? Because obviously( as far as I could check) they aren’t in these cases.
The Lorain County Recorder’s Office is the final stop in a real estate conveyance. We record documents as they are presented, and follow the rules of the Ohio Revised Code. We operate solely under those rules. I am unaware of any language in the Revised Code that would require our office to check for compliance with the Point of Sale program in Lorain. My office doesn’t receive anything (i.e. forms or applications) included with a deed that would alert anyone to whether or not it has complied with this program, and I don’t believe that we could legally stop a deed from recording based on it’s status with the Point of Sale program.
Lorain County Recorder
Back to the city and this is how it works – Heather Graves , Building Dept. answered my questions
1. Seller makes application and pays the $100.00 fee (single family) $200.00 for duplex. Inspection is set up within ten business days of application.
2. Inspection is performed. The list of violations are established. If escrow is requested – the escrow report done. Paperwork given to me, and I get the information to the appropriate parties.
3. At this point there are two options. The seller can either make the repairs and call for a re-inspection and if all passes the Certificate of Inspection is issued, and the property can transfer. If the seller does not wish to make the corrections; the buyer can assume these and put the required escrow (the escrow amount is negotiable – with a material list or contractor quote the escrow amount can be lowered as long as approved by the inspector that did the inspection AND the Chief Building Official) amount into a private escrow account until the repairs are made, re-inspected and approved. I receive the original Notarized statement of assumptions and a letter from escrow agent stating that the funds will not be disbursed until the repairs are made; I then issue the Conditional Certificate of Inspection which is valid for six months (the allotted time per ordinance for the repairs)and the property can transfer. The ordinance does allow for one draw on the escrow (once half of the repairs are made or so) so that the buyer has the funds to complete the repairs. Once all repairs have been approved the final disbursement of escrow is released and the Certificate of Inspection is issued. The inspection is valid for one year from date of issuance (date of payment).
4. If the seller does not make application with the city and the property does in fact transfer without the above mentioned process; I go through the real estate transfers (usually every two weeks or so) and do the checks and balances on all transferring property. I then send out the violation letter along with a copy of the ordinance informing of the point of sale. The letter goes to both the BUYER and the SELLER (per the Law Dept). If the point of sale is not performed I will turn this over to the Prosecutors office so that the parties can be served and taken to housing court. Since the ordinance has taken effect (I don’t have exact numbers I apologize) but I would assume that are 50 properties have been served. There is a penalty clause in the ordinance that there is a penalty (up to) $1000.00 and (up to) six months in jail.
Your assumption is correct – I do in fact go through the recent transfers. I myself can’t think of another way. I have a very good working relationship with the escrow agents and real estate agents around the area. I work diligently to make this Point of Sale process as smooth as possible. Please feel free to contact me with any further questions. Have a great day.
City of Lorain
I must admit I have sympathy for the job Ms. Graves is having to do because it is only the law-abiding that follow the law – such as my neighbor 1139 W. 4th who went through the steps successfully – BUT wasn’t the problem – he followed the rules BUT what about the people who don’t follow the ordinance. Does our “Housing Court” follow through- do they meter out punishment? And what punishment ?
For example according to Zillow 1348 West Erie
Lorain OH 3 Bedroom 2 Bath Home Available For Lease To Own Program. Garage, Vinyl/carpet flooring, Fireplace, Basement. Home may need updates/repairs. Sold in “as-is” condition.
Do you honestly think a mere $1,000 dollar fine will deter the “property managers , such as the ones sharing the South Carolina address who are pulling the same stunt all over the country . According to one previous owner Kaja Holdings and RVFM 11 SERIES LLC falls under Vision Property Management-
well they certainly share the same address : 16 Berryhill Rd, Columbia SC 29210
Phone: 1-888-466-7932 • Fax: 803-354-5292 • Email: email@example.com
A thousand dollars would mean nothing – and just who would serve the six months in jail? They have us law-abiding citizens of Lorain by the short hair so to speak as they make more money than it costs them in fines. KAJA HOLDINGS 2 LLC will have saved $44, 750 thousand by NOT following the ordinance with regard to 1348- West Erie Ave.
The people making the bucks out of plethora purchases are not deterred and seemingly some banks are transferring what they like when they like and who suffers? Oh yes! once again – the law-abiding property owner selling their property and trying to do their best such as fixing a downspout in February………
Next up just what does the Housing Court do as far as bringing down the hammer and is the hammer made of paper mache
Another day , week, month, year- I have learned the navigation of the path of pain- I know now most of the emotional laybys , the pitfalls that can swallow you whole . I have become aware of them as I travel this way of grief. Oh! sometimes, even knowing they are there does not save me from tripping and trembling as I go forward in this life.
Nana, she of the wonderful pastries and food of love, had made a sausage pie for friends who were visiting. We had to take the pie and accoutrements to Catawba last week. The pie needed to be kept cool on the journey but a big cooler wouldn’t do. Nana, who has pretty much taken over the kitchen since she moved here, knows where everything is and pulled out a plastic cooler bag. My heart ended up in my throat once again , I must have turned white, because Nana said
” are you alright what is wrong ?”
That silly, cheap, plastic cooler bag, I had forgotten its very existence. I never knew where it came from originally. We weren’t into Nascar – but there it was . They say your life flashes before your eyes when you drown- all I can say is your life flashes before my eyes every time I am confronted with an unexpected object , sight, sound that was you.
As I looked at that bag, Nana washing it out readying it for her pie, I remembered the orange slices and water it had kept cool for all those soccer games. I remembered grabbing it out of the cupboard on the morning you got married. I hated that day, my beautiful son dealing with chemo and the diagnosis of Hodgkin’s but still filled with false hope.
It was a record-breaking heat that June day, and I knew the ” family of the bride” would insist on the plethora of pictures being taken, driving here and there in the limo- I was so worried about how you would be able to handle the whole thing feeling ill as you were. – The Lombardi , Vyka clan were all about those pictures- still are.
I grabbed the bag threw in some of you favourite sandwiches and water , and orange slices. I knew you were feeling ill because the Chemo had been on the Thursday and its poison was killing ( supposedly) the cancer cells and your good cells- it knew no difference. I put the bag in the limo.
You hugged me at the reception and whispered in my ear –
I gave the bag to Nikki , she has it, thanks mum – couldn’t do justice to the sandwiches but the orange slices and water went down well thanks for thinking of it.
When the cancer came back and you couldn’t eat and the next round of “treatment” was prescribed I would come to sit with you in your apartment so Angela -your “bride” -could continue working- ( although I later found out that was not always the case as to her whereabouts). It didn’t matter to me then or now where she was – I know the truth of her and it is dark!
I just wanted to take care of my son, to try to keep the promises I made to you when you were born-
” I won’t let anything happen to you- I will protect you”
That cooler bag went with me every day for weeks whilst you were having your double stem cell transplant . You couldn’t bear the smell of the hospital food- the smell of the plastic covers keeping the food hot disgusted you. I would take a meal up in the cooler bag, your lunch and dinner, every single day to be heated in the hospital “family room” microwave. The orange whip, Nana would make you , so cooling ( full of calories) would slide down and not burn your mouth that was blistered by the chemo.
The last time I used that cooler bag- a phone call from Angela as I was shopping at KMart
” Chris said you were coming to spend the night should I get something for supper – she had to work that night”
– I was bewildered, as I was actually in Kmart getting new bed linens, as I believed you to be coming home for the weekend- after that disastrous and stupid idea of Angela’s stating you could drive back from Houston .
I was puzzled- she hadn’t said anything about working- You never mentioned to me in your morning phone call about needing me to come- just that you wanted to come home for the weekend . Oh! later I found out she was not scheduled to work that night- she requested to work at 4 in the afternoon WHY? . – Hindsight is 20/20
I packed the cooler with your favourite dinner and we ate together one last time in your home. You went into the clinic again the next morning – dying- never to come home.
I forgot about the cooler bag, left on the kitchen counter in that apartment of deceit as I followed the ambulance to the Cleveland Clinic ER.
I never thought of it again until we received 4 months after your death ( via the funeral home) the box of
“throw- aways”… because that was what they were- from the Lombardi Clan and Angela( now Angela Murphy DO http://my.clevelandclinic.org/staff_directory/staff_display?doctorid=16147 ) along with her disgraceful, lacking in any sort of compassionate thought, letters- to your family who were raw with grief.
In the bottom of the box was the cooler bag -not good enough to keep obviously or to give to their charities . I couldn’t throw it away, it had been such a part of those months – so I stuffed it in a little used kitchen cupboard until ….. Nana’s sausage pie………….. and once more your last part of life flashed through my mind, the anguish, loss of hope, cruelty, the anger that has kept me upright and your last words .
I love you Chris- I will not forget you……..