March 3rd – The Rating – Chris Ritchey

ART WORK- CHRIS RITCHEY

It has been a short month  February  but one of the longest in other ways. We are now on our third  venue  with  regard to  “hospitals and rehab”. As we traverse yet another life changing road, I believe it is time to  rate the experiences.

Chris Ritchey Face book icon

Your hospital experience found me pretty  much  a novice and very  naïve, because your “bride” was part of the Cleveland Clinic System, Southpointe and Main Campus I  deferred to  her- a huge  mistake– I  will always believe that  to  be the case . That perceived mistake is not one I will ever make again.  Much  to  the irritation  of CEO’s, some Doctors, not so  much  the nurses,  but aides and hospital protocols I am involved more than just visiting at regular hour, I  am an advocate for “my  patient and loved one” and your sister  is just a younger version of me!

It is you  and your  strength  that has kept me , if not on an even keel  at least  afloat and once again it is anger that keeps me upright.

I know  the signs and I know you  are with  us on this journey , just as I  carried you  beneath  my  heart  and shared souls – that continues  as does my  love for you. I will write the story  of our latest journey , the Kudos, the positives and negatives of each  of the facilities – maybe others having similar journeys  will see the pitfalls and the solutions.

I love and miss you  more than ever ………

March 3, 2019 at 7:17 pm 2 comments

Feb 3rd- sick of hospitals- Chris Ritchey

Artwork Chris Ritchey Face Book page

A whole month  has passed since I  last wrote  and I  have in the last three weeks spent more time in ER’s  talking to  Doctors -that  don’t know us -explaining past issues. ICU becoming my  2nd home and all the different  protocols.

I want to  get off this band wagon of monitors, that beep  and fluctuate I have seen too many  of them since you  were in that dreadful Main Campus  Cleveland Clinic (Tausig).  I have traversed the  halls , waiting rooms in hospitals in Elyria, Westlake , Houston Texas  and Lorain.

I  am so  tired of the unexpected and having to  have the strength to  advocate.  This latest ill-health  go  around sudden and quick is going to  drag out into months. Touch  and go  10  days ago…….

The flawed Hand of the Healer by Chris Ritchey

.

I can spot an officious nurse at 10 places, know the ones that listen , talked to  professionals , that know their stuff I  am sure , but the accent is thick so  I  become infuriating to  them as I  have  to say  “repeat that please.”

 

I have sat in ER’s  waiting for results of scans and tests. I have sat in the waiting rooms with  total strangers that reflect the fear , hopefulness and dread that I know is written on my  face just as it is on theirs .

I am exhausted with illness, dying and decisions , keeping up my  strength  to be my  family’s advocate all the while wanting to  run away  and not have to  deal with  anything at all.  Life changes looming.

One of the most infuriating things is the fact that all these different hospital systems  but when it is  an emergency  you  are taken to  the  nearest ER . If they  are under a different network your health  records are not available, so  the ER does not have a base line as to  your previous health issues. Family  are left explaining in layman’s terms as to  your history and then when you  contact you  own medical team you  have to  explain the new issues. You  can request those medical records be sent  ( they  don’t like it  but insist).

Anyway   weeks of hell again looking at those monitors for every  heartbeat…………… and the horrible reminders of your last days flooding in my  brain as the smells , the squeak of rubber shoes on shiny  floor , the monitor alarms add yet another pain to  deal  with as you  sit quietly  waiting………..

I love you  still  and your bravery  still reminds me to  fight

Hands – Touching- Hands – art work Christopher Ritchey

 

 

February 3, 2019 at 11:54 am 3 comments

Jan 3rd,2019- Mystic/Magic – Chris Ritchey

Another year dawns, this past one has not been pleasant for the most part. No further answers to  the question we all really  want to know what happens after our body  fails. Is there an “essence of life” that continues? The life “energy”  that makes us unique to  ourselves , can that be destroyed , gone, obliterated ?

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/energy-can-neither-be-created-nor-destroyed/

Questions that have been asked and answered in  various religious beliefs for a few thousand years. But , when you  get right down to  it you  won’t really  know till your own body  fails. YOU  KNOW,  my  darling Chris, my  mum –  now knows.

Mum and Balcony

Mum, who  lived a full 99 years, a voracious reader, travelled , lived in three different countries, met hundreds of people of varying walks of life. She would listen to  the religious leaders, watch them on the Sunday  shows, in her youth  questioned them at length.  In her last days she would talk to  the Hospice Nurses as to  their belief as to  what would happen but she had no  answers in even those last days .

As I  sat beside her , holding her hand , watching and trying to  ease her final “body life” moments , there was no  answer for me, she and her  life energy  slipped quietly  away.  The same with  you  -although hooked up  to  machines , but by  the time they  disconnected you  I already  knew you  had left hours before.  Somehow, a mother knows when her child is no  longer with  her, at least I  did.

We all so  need the mystic and magic, hope that there is more somehow to  our world, my  thoughts segued to  my  earliest beliefs and tiny  child’s  belief in fairies.

I lay  awake in today’s very  early  hours, wracking my  poor brain as to  who  first told me about magic and fairies and a world beyond that had nothing to  do  with  religion, that came later when my  mother would drag me to  church  in Canada.

I couldn’t for the life of me remember , it was as if I  had always known about the possibility  of a  “magical” realm I so  wanted to  believe in. As a tiny  tot I would play  for hours in the  garden rockery ( rock gardens were a staple part of the garden and the place where fairies loved to  dwell) building fairy  homes, looking for fairy  circles  in the morning dew, positive they  existed and wanting to  catch  a glimpse. I told my  children about fairies and then my  grandchildren ( before they  got to  the age when they  think I  am dotty).

 

I went back in my  mind , trying so  hard to  remember my  grandmothers telling me stories of fairies . No,  the one used to  recite romantic and adventurous poems  and tell stories of unrequited love. Mum’s mother , tired and worn from life, would tell me stories of the happenings of her children, my  father- science fiction, space aliens and travels to  the stars. My  mum never told me fairy  stories, so who? And then it dawned , my  reprobate of a “grandfather”. A memory  from the mist, taking down a saucer of milk   whilst everyone in the house was asleep, woken from my  tiny  bed, slipper-less feet, cold on the  tiled kitchen floor quietly  putting the saucer down for the hedgehogs  as they  carried the fairies to  dance in the moonlight.

I  realize now, he was drunk again probably , he was an inebriate that is for certain. I supposed going through  the trenches in France and being a professional soldier he may  have had some issues we would recognize today.

Fairies a gift from Chris

All I do  know , is that as angering and annoying he was to  the rest of the family  and his children- HE was the one who  came home with  kittens and the odd baby rabbit or two   in his pockets for me, flowers from his flowers shop , never were his pockets empty , little gifts.  He taught me to  love the flowers in the garden and only  pick certain ones  , to  leave the blue bells ( the fairy  flowers) in the woods.

As I  lay  there in the half light of a New year  my  mind  wandered to  when he was he was in hospital, I  had only  been married a few weeks, we went to  see him . He woke long enough  to  squeeze my  hand and say  ”

I  can go  now- “maggot” ( his nickname for me )  I  have seen you. 

We left the hospital and on the short ride home I could still feel the pressure of his hand  and I  knew before we got to  my  Aunt’s house he had gone without her having to  tell me.  He had said goodbye  and with  him went his “magic”, given to  me only ???  and a memory of an old man , not well loved who shared  a bit of the mystique of this world.

One memory  triggers another and I was back in your hospital room  your stats were fluctuating , nurses and techs adjusting machines and then your hand squeezed mine so  hard – I  didn’t know what you  were trying to  tell me but I think  I  do  now……. you  were saying goodbye ……..

But then the magic of you  continues……….

 

 

January 3, 2019 at 10:29 am 2 comments

The Moonbeam’s Tree- Gabriel Miller 2019

Another New Year’s Eve, fireworks and M 80′- 100’s will no  doubt shake the houses  , even the odd gunshot ringing in another year.

Some will celebrate and some will hold each other closer as they  remember another New Year’s Eve- one that found their baby  boy  having to  leave them and the love they  had for him without a place to  land .

They  are  called back to  a time of great pain and the longing for the answer  to WHY??? The year is marked by  a tiny  tree- planted with love

a love that grows with  time, the celebration of that little life continues, without hoopla, fireworks  just pure love of a child

and today the love continues as it always will…..

Gabriel Miller August 17th- 2009 – December 31 -2009 a child of “heart”

December 31, 2018 at 12:02 am 2 comments

Dec 3rd- crumbling walls- Chris Ritchey

Although  I  write about you  every  3rd day  of every  month as a way  to  release my  grief, love of you and so  you  are not forgotten, December 3rd is looming. The dying days that start at Thanksgiving – the day  I sat alone in the waiting room as you  were put on the vent.  I  relive that day  and that intensive care waiting room  every  year  dreading I won’t be able to  hold myself together amidst all the joy  of turkey , pumpkins, pies and laughter.

The circus that ensued  that terrible Thanksgiving Day  at the Cleveland Clinic thanks to “those others” (Lombardi)  who  finally  came to “wait”, share  dry  turkey  and cold mashed potatoes and discuss recipes whilst you  were fighting for your life  sickens me still. I  could never understand their reactions of party hearty   , picnic time- it is a wonder they  didn’t bring celebratory  wine. Respect and kindness to  your family as we tried to  deal with the losing of you   certainly  wasn’t on their menu .

artwork Chris Ritchey

It starts with  Thanksgiving  , the defense walls are reinforced , more to  protect others from the volatile emotions that are churning within me. They  deserve and need their happiness, they need not be reminded of dying days. I so  wish I  was  strong, I  am not.

These days leading up  to  the day  you  died leave me , even after the years of trying to  train myself to  avoid the trigger moments, weak and bereft of control.  I had a relative who  used to  take to  their bed when there were situations they  couldn’t handle. There is no  respite for me  there in amongst the down pillows. I lay  awake fighting down the  emotional agony  of remembrance of those days .Finally  exhaustion will bring sleep  but the mind  continues and all the building of walls to  keep my  emotions and thoughts in check are breached. Down pillows  become wet with tears.

Honestly  I  don’t know how my  heart has kept beating, there are times choking back sobs I can’t breathe.  but your  beautiful sister and two  little boys  whose excitement  at the season acts as an antidote  enabling me once again to bear the unbearable.

 

Your Chris Miss presents to  Gavin and Braedyn will once again be delivered  and I will reinforce the walls ….. I love and miss you  every  day  but  December 3rd will find the walls tumbled into  nothing and I will hide from the world until I  can function again.

Artwork Chris Ritchey

“Heartbreak is a heavy  burden to carry as a soul weakens”  I  love you  Chris

December 3, 2018 at 12:29 am 1 comment

Not forgotten- a reminder- and a Victory -Lorain

Photo Dan Brady

The lines of communication were broken and entangled, opinions of just what is “historic” and what is not – were bogged down in who  “remembered ” and who  forgot, who  said what and who  did what.

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2018/11/10/lest-we-forget-lorain-administration-forgot/

A battle commenced in the hearts of those that not only  have loved the “Dark Angel”, Miss Victory, Lorain’s Angel, whatever name she was known by.   People rallied , historians, writers, council people who  had voted NO to  the sale of her place of honor, the possible movement to  “monument row ” at nearby  Lakeview park. Social media lit up  with  a resounding NO!!! Articles appeared in newspapers , on-line .

https://www.morningjournal.com/news/lorain-county/for-sale-lorain-s-victory-park-land-and-monument-honoring/article_935a5b0c-e170-11e8-8c44-63b43d01ce65.html

https://www.morningjournal.com/news/lorain-county/lorain-clarifies-victory-park-plans/article_033d711c-e44a-11e8-b253-5fbd76a0277f.html

Photo Karen Ferraro

The consensus of the general  population  was the “Dark Angel” should remain in the place of honor in  perpetuity . Lorain, in the past,  has had a history  of moving and get rid of its tangible history  as if it is some “outdated décor” put away  to  be stored in pieces parts or demolished. But the latest ideas found a community  saying not this time.

I  am proud of those who  stood up, researched,  reached out to  government, and wrote of their displeasure  Matt Nahorn, Dan Brady , Diane Medina , Mary  Springkowski , Jeff Sigsworth , and hundreds of people on face book pages.

I am glad to  say  that after not only  was her “sentimental  worth ”  acknowledged  but also  her “historical” worth.

Thanks has to  go  to  Mayor Ritenauer  and Port Director Tom Brown because they  came together ( as government should)  to not only  save that little park but to  honor those that  had kept her and this country  free , through  all the wars that followed  the war to  end all wars. It is a victory  for  common sense , historical worth  and yes for sentiment.

Yesterday  the Port of Lorain and The city  of Lorain issued  a joint statement  saving the “lady”

 

Instead of angst and turmoil   and he said ,she said, the coverage this morning is one of thanks , thanks to  those with who  served , are remembered and those whose passion fought for  a Lady  of Victory”

https://www.morningjournal.com/news/lorain-county/victory-park-will-remain-intact—city-port-craft/article_9b2df8d2-e5e6-11e8-beb8-9759a69bb824.html

http://www.chroniclet.com/Local-News/2018/11/12/Port-Authority-may-take-control-of-Victory-Park-veterans-honored-in-Lorain.html

Thank  YOU  LORAIN!!!

.

 

November 12, 2018 at 4:22 pm 2 comments

Lest we Forget – Lorain Administration Forgot –

Well I  finally  am angry  enough  to  write , because that is what it takes to  get my  fingers flying across a key  board.  This was not the Remembrance Day  post I  had planned .

Lorain’s  tangible history  is almost extinct. I  have given up  for the most part  because the interest in tangible history  is not a priority  in Lorain. If it is not maintained, knocked down , bastardized  or moved about , it becomes  a photo  in file at the Lorain Historical Society  on 10th  street.

Tomorrow is Armistice Day  , all over the world  but Lorain Ohio, the administration under Mayor  Ritenauer, Safety  Service Director Dan Given and Chief of Staff Phil  Dore decided in their “wisdom” that a little park ” was not worth  the upkeep and had no  historical significance” . Now to  fill in readers NOT  from Lorain but elsewhere in the country  and world that come to  this blog.

In April 1922 this town decided to  honor the Great War’s war dead and injured  they  put their heart , soul, money  and pride into  a little V shaped park , commissioned a statue  and the town gave due honors :

Photos courtesy  of Dan Brady

Please access Dan Brady’s blog for the “historical research ” and story  about the little park that became Victory   Park https://danielebrady.blogspot.com/2012/05/ninety-years-of-miss-victory.html

Photo  Dan Brady

Apparently  this little  tiny  memorial park demands too  much  upkeep and was lumped in with  other “vacant and overgrown lots in their mind.

 “The city’s position is that we own hundreds of parcels all over that we’ve acquired over time,” Given said. “Why are we sitting on these things, maintaining them, cleaning up junk when we can actually make it productive?”

Photo Lorain 365

So  the wheels started going round and round and talks were ongoing between “Veterans Groups” not with  any  transparency  apparently  because I  live with  a veteran and I  had to  tell him what was happening .

Ironically   it was to  me  “that woman” to  whom Dan Given and the city  came to  get the information about the “historical significance” to  that V  and the statuary . I  duly  got them all the historical significance and the who is who and how a city  remembered  in 1922 and for the past 96 years.

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/victory-no-longer-empty-handed-v-for-volunteers/

How annoying then to  read from the Morning Journal www. morningjournal.com  today   the Chief of Staff  of the City  of Lorain quote :

He said the city also went out of its way to ensure the property had no historical significance for WWI and found none.

“It just so happened, that whoever funded the statue, put it there,” Dore said.

 

 

Did this man read any of the information given objectively  or did they  just cut and paste  to  fit what  the intended purpose to  do  away  with  a “nuisance” hand it over to  someone else.

I  can taste my  anger at the moment. They  reached out to  Veterans groups  after the DAV post  reached out to  them but not the community  that  Mayor Ritenauer  was concerned about . The agenda for Monday  Night’s City  Council meeting  slipped this item in

Item G- ord – authorizing the Safety /Service Director to  advertise for bids for the sale of two  parcels no  longer needed for municipal purposes.

The city  council then went into executive session to  discuss this   with  council members – of course not only can’t the community at large   attend this session but Council  members in their wisdom just voted on the matter when they  came back  to  the floor.

Dissenting Votes,

 

 

 

Mary  Springkowski, Greg Argenti  and Josh Thornsberry. the rest could not apparently  decide to  send this to  at least a committee so  the “community  could have its say?

NO! in their impeccable timing of the Administration and Dore and Given one week before NOVEMBER  the 11th they  decided this little park  ” Dore:  had no historical significance for WWI and found none. LOOK AGAIN PHIL!!!!!!

Well I  beg to  differ, there are still relatives of the American Legion Commander instrumental in organizing  those honors ( see the article from 1922)  who  take pride in the Historical Worth  of that little Park. Once the city   sells it to  whomever the Veteran Organizations decide that park can be torn down ,statues moved to  monument row at Lakeview Park where they  are totally  out of context.  or destroyed  . We Only  have “their word” this won’t happen in the future and forgive me but that isn’t good enough

The plan isn’t to go in and disrupt the entire community and move monuments,” he said. “But when we have veterans groups that their sole purpose is to honor the people who lead us in war with their bravery, it’s our obligation to listen to them.”

Been down that road before : Once bitten twice shy!!!!!! and so  glad Mr. Given when YOU  were on City  Council you  didn’t “listen to  the Vets Council” when they  wanted to  give away  the 200 year old park on 4th  to  make way  for “Condos”

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/veterans-memorial-park-thanks-for-the-memories/

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/07/31/veterans-memorial-park-faulty-memory/

The mayor said ‘hey, I don’t want a nasty storm over this whole issue. If it’s good for the community, it’s good for the community,’” Given said

quotes from www. morningjournal.com   article Lorain Clarifies Victory  Park Plans .

 Well maybe if the “Community” had been informed though   discussion   there would not be the blog post, the social media  outrage at this “deal”

 

Never has so much blather been uttered by  so  few to  cause outrage to  so  many!!!!

There is a “shame in this ” that shouldn’t be forgotten. Oh  it will be forgotten yesterdays news!!! Lorain  and her “non historical worth  will move on” BUT as long as there is an internet  and this blog is archived  ” the “memory” of this debacle of decisions” will live on!

NOTE: I  welcome any  op ed for the city administration…. and this situation has earned the not so  coveted  Notorious Opponents of Exactitude Award

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 10, 2018 at 3:50 pm 6 comments

Older Posts Newer Posts


Categories

Archives

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 209 other followers

May 2019
M T W T F S S
« Apr    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031