Jan 3rd- Relativity to Time – Chris Ritchey

Chris Ritchey CIA

Time  and relativity – I admit the highest  mark I  ever received from Norman Niles- my  Physics teacher was D minus! I  hated Math  and I detested Physics- loved Chemistry  and History.

However  ” Events that occur at the same time for one observer could occur at different times for another.” https://www.space.com/17661-theory-general-relativity.html

Black Holes I never understood – more a case of not wanting to  be bothered- BUT and there is always a but I feel I am ( as well as probably  many  others of my  kind) lost in time .

A mother who  has lost her child – there are no  words  or labels for us – not a widow, an orphan, etc  unless you  consider  “tethligons”  (Sanskrit word which means ‘against the natural order’)which,  for me ,conjures up some sort of terrible monster- but then losing your  son or daughter makes you  feel like you  are in the world of monsters – caught , crunched between the teeth of the monster  and then spat out – only  to  be caught again

Most of humanity   live in a 3 dimensional world – and then again….

We can portray our reality as either a three-dimensional place where stuff happens over time,” said Massachusetts Institute of Technology physicist Max Tegmark, “or as a four-dimensional place where nothing happens [‘block universe’] — and if it really is the second picture, then change really is an illusion, because there’s nothing that’s changing; it’s all just there — past, present, future.

The diagnostic box- self- portrait Chris Ritchey

My  universe, Christopher,  since you  have been taken away  has left me in a world where I float, for the most part, between the time before, then and now- New Year’s Eves  have come and gone but every  day  and night I am elsewhere  lost in time, as it no longer registers or is linear,  the time  that has come in between observed only  by others in the 3rd dimension   . I wake never knowing the year…………………. my  4 dimensional  world apart from the normal .


Struggling toward some knowledge of the “physics of it all” and once again a barely  passing grade. There are glimpses of understanding  but the are illusive  , on the edge of conscience , just out of reach –



but they  are there – if only  my  tired brain could grab them – the tools of science notwithstanding in their cold calculations .

I continue to  love and exist in this dimension – nothing changes our  love or missing of you……….except they  grow in strength no  matter the time ….





January 2, 2018 at 11:42 pm Leave a comment

Tree of Love- Gabriel Miller- moonbeam and light 2017

A few weeks after my  son passed, a good friend also  felt that same terrible pain of losing her child. There isn’t much you  can do  or say  after those initial weeks to  those that have not felt what it is like to  be absolutely  “gutted” and whose world is no  longer together.  You  are expected to  get over it  –  move on-  people  can get impatient with  your grief, you  are a dreadful reminder that a loss of a child can happen to  them . You  have no  outlet for your love that continues to  grow.  In the following May after Gabe’s passing from  this world,  Gabe’s father and mother planted a tiny tree ( supposedly a dwarf variety) in the area known as Settlers’ Watch.


Through the seasons the tree was tended with care  and love ; the little tree grew . Every  year Gabe’s mum and dad light the now  the not so  little tree- 2015 found  it a bit of a stretch for his dad.  This year  more than a stretch was needed

and night fell on a snowy Christmas

The little tree, no  longer small – grown tall- fed with  love and watered with  tears  shone through the darkness and cold reminding us of a little boy

a sweet child – the light of his mother and father’s very  being – the love that is his alone  -lights for just a little while the cold  dark nights.

Gabriel Miller August 17th-2009- December 31st 2009

Photos Lisa Miller – Lorain 365

December 31, 2017 at 2:13 pm 4 comments

Figgy Pudding – A celebration tale – Chris (tmas) Pudding

Traditions in this house took a 180 degree about-face when my  son Chris died. I could no  longer have Christmas  in this house- Oh! my  mum has her “Christmas Grotto” in her little living room  and Gavin and Braedyn come a decorate her little tree and hang the ornaments.

There are no  longer twinkling lights inside or outside this house in celebration of  anyone’s birth- the beliefs of my  childhood torn asunder.

I have  “visited the holidays ” at my  daughters for the sake of her and her family  and the boys. Traditions changed from my  “English  Christmas of yesteryear” – now Christmas Eve  finds lobsters in the pot – named for those that are not very  nice.. and laughter yes, but the traditions of my  daughter’s youth  and of this house have gone the way  of so many  things. Yes! I visit  the holidays – peace on earth  and good will toward men – has a sour note…….. ( too many religious  hypocrites, sadness and questions  added to  the mix of my  life)

But Christmas  is for children and like every  other grandparent last week I  smiled, laughed and cried as the kindergartners at Braedyn’s school put on their holiday  program .  As all the children wore their Santa, Reindeer, Snowflake and Frosty  hats  little faces all a glow , voices were exuberant  in their renditions  and they  joyously  proclaimed the fun that was coming . My  eyes and heart  fell on  Braedyn singing along

Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,Oh, bring us some figgy pudding, And bring it right here.Good tidings we bring you and your kin;We wish you a merry Christmas And a Happy New Year!

I realized not one of them, including my  own grandson, probably  had any  idea  what figgy  pudding was . For the cooks among you  there are two  versions – Figgy  Pudding and Christmas Pudding – http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/warm-sticky-figgy-pudding-recipe-1918585

Traditionally  we and my  family, through the generations,   used the  Christmas Pudding   and this is the recipe  that is close to  what we  always served.( although instead of glace fruit – which  I  hate -we add dried apricots , shredded carrot and a shredded Granny  Smith  apple .)   http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/33519/delicious-christmas-pudding.aspx

Every  year my  mum and I  faithfully  made the “real” fruitcake -( not that terrible American facsimile  that is tossed like rotten pumpkins) and Christmas Pud.  It was tradition and Christopher’s job from about  the age of 7 was to  bring in the lighted pudding  to  the table – he loved lighting the pudding  but never ate any. The only  ones eating it were my  mother and I  and my  husband would “force a little down”.  Christopher was the last to  light a pudding in this house.

However, as I  looked at all those little faces – I  said to  Nikki:

Gavin and Braedyn have no  idea what they   sing about with  this song . They  have never seen a Christmas pudding !

I  decided then it was time to  hand the tradition over to  my  daughter and grandsons. We had missed out on  “Stir Up Sunday”  but better late than never  http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/26/stir-up-sunday-what-is-this-christmas-pudding-tradition-all-about-7109142/

All the members of the family, especially the kids, need to take a turn to stir the mixture and everyone should make a secret wish while they stir.

Gavin had gone hunting with  his Dad  but Braedyn and his mum were game –  so  over the river and through the snowy streets they  came today . Ingredients all measured out  and we have a new pudding maker in the family  under the watchful eye of his Nana .

We all made our wishes , there were smiles and a few opinions as to  how much  brandy  went into  the pudding and now they – the puddings ( we made too much  mixture so  now we have two)  bubble and sing on the stove for the next few hours.  I am not sure about the traditional pudding  boiling away  on Christmas Eve this year with  the lobsters in the pot – but to  each  his own………..

December 16, 2017 at 10:18 pm 5 comments

Dec 3rd- The waiting – Chris Ritchey

The dark days are here – night-time draws ever closer- I am as a child  frightened of the coming bleak hours/ days –  cuddled down in the bed that is life -looking for warmth- a place to  escape  the dreading –  a window has a glimmer of a lighter shade of night illuminating the place where I  lay.

Still my  eyes are drawn to  the corners , where darkness has gathered  and I know that as the dying days draw ever nearer I will have to  face that darkness that has accumulated  and grown over the days , months and years .  As hard as I try to  keep back the darkness of those days of death  , they are ever-present waiting  to  be released by  the memories of your dying   and those terrible days.

The hope – massacred  by  cancer  causing the onslaught of a pain so deep , a scream that never ends  just becomes silent – to  all but a few.  Every  year I dread these days , the holidays  that hold so  much  more to  me now than pumpkin pies, turkey, lighted trees , singing – they  are tinged with  a blight  that dulls happiness to  that of a  shadow  of holidays past.


You  are with  us , I  know.. more so than any other … and for that I  am grateful.. but I  long to  see your face.. hear your  voice…… and laugh at your irreverence instead  I have to  pull over my  face  the  covers of protection-   muffle my  sobs into  the bosom of my  family   and wait…………….

I love and miss you  more with  each  passing day


December 3, 2017 at 12:15 am 2 comments

Lorain’s Housing- owners of the dirty diapers- Part 3


And the clog in the system keeps on coming .



You  would think , this house at 1348 West Erie, after being front page in local media ( print and electronic) predatory  property holders   investigated by  all and sundry  ( including the NY Times) https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2016/08/26/when-vision-is-cloudy-property-holding-llcs-ny-times/ we would not find ourselves back to  square one.

Touted as the poster child by  realtors as being a negative because of  the amount of money  having to  be put in escrow ( Point of Sale) as  being a detriment  to  home sales in Lorain.

Lorain house sets record with $45,750 escrow requirement by R. Payerchin June 2014 –


Let us revisit once again  the housing court history – First up after the dumping of the home by Federally  backed mortgage company  Fannie Mae to  Kaja Holdings  for ZERO dollars  and NO  Point of Sale Inspection, Fannie Mae acquired the property Aug. 2013

Sale Date: 8/5/2013
Sale Amount: $95,116.00
Conveyance: 2013003968

it was purchased February 2015 from Fannie Mae   1 year and 1 month  after Point of Sale was introduced to  Lorain

Sale Date: 2/3/2015
Sale Amount: $0.00
Conveyance: 2015090327

Many trips to  housing court  and then finally  the lawyer (after much publicity)   arrived on scene only  to  be given “time” grace time to  fulfill their promises- little discussions at the table to  the side with  the ”  Lorain City Prosecutor ” who  agree with  giving the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion  ( sigh) First up for Kaja Holdings was attorney

From what I could gather that day of August 12th,2015, the attorney Jaing, Lei was given another court date of September 9th to remedy and or update the situation

Then a lot of toing and froing – another continuance  this time   December 9th,2015  nearly  a year in housing court   https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/housing-court-and-you-lorain-continued/

Fast forward  to  April 2016 5 months after the December 9th continuance another court date and another attorney this time


Mr. James White http://www.fkwdlaw.com/attorneys/james-r-white/


( who   started a dialogue on this blog ) https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2016/04/07/plump-lady-plummets-and-the-housing-trip-continues/

I had contact with Mr. White through emails about 1348 West Erie and what his clients proposed to  do : In fact August 3rd  2016  found the following email :

Hi Loraine- Several of the violations to  the exterior have been repaired. The City’s required escrow to  perform the repairs has been deposited with  an escrow agent with  repairs to  follow.

Great news “finally  something happening BUT…. looking through the paperwork on the home of 1348 West Erie PDF   found here :   1348

Mr. White did get that  escrow “lowered” from  $45, 750 . to  $16,680  and then lo and behold the property  changed hands AGAIN ( twice – albeit to  the same man but different LLC’s- Mr. Farah Issa  and Kaja Holdings got their escrow money  back!!!!

Mr. Issa was duly  notified he had to  assume the escrow amount  and he apparently  did according to  the PDF file  pages 34,35,36 of the PDF .





Certainly  Mr Issa was not unaware of the issues with  the house  .  Contacting the BHP Dept I received this email  via Mr. Given SS Director  (my  bold):

Attached is the file for 1348 West Erie Ave. Page 34,35 and 36 of this document is the current hold of escrow for the property from the new buyer. The escrow was released back to Kaja once the funds were placed for the new buyer. This property actually transferred to Prosperity Investment Fund LLC and then again to FICC Realty Holdings – same agent on the Corporations though (Carmen Camino). They were supposed to be in court on October 11th (the summons shows service on court site) but they did not come to the hearing. I must assume that Law will attempt service again (since they won’t issue warrant on corporation).

And yet after the Demolition Board of Appeals  pronounced sentence on October 19th, 2017
because of the numerous complaints – Fannie Mae, Kaja , etc etc.  and lack of action on this property  ( well apart for the legal eagles that is) Mr. Issa showed at the  November 16th, 2017 Demo  Appeals Board ( even though his property was not on the agenda)
as covered by  Rick Payerchin of the Morning Journal
“Owner makes plea for house that has been Lorain ‘problem for decade’”
and HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!! you  would have thought  Mr. Issa  would have gone by  his property  and at least secured the doors to  the garage and little out building ( cottage)when he was in town.
The only  ones , it seems to  me in my  opinion, making  headway  with  1348 is the attorneys  , it certainly has been a fairly  lucrative proposition for the past months and now years.
We, Lorain, are allowing this behavior. Where is our Law Dept.? They, including Law Director Pat Riley,   are supposed to  represent us, fight for us , this home , once loved , still loved has been left rotting  whilst  the legal system  floundered around  like the last dying gasps of that fly.  Those who  represent the legal aspect  are accountable for the last 2 years of this history  and if this is the way  we proceed legally  in Lorain then  we need to  address that aspect!!!

One , unless they  have researched the disappointing process of legalisms, inspections, housing courts, thinks it is easy   but trust me on this after years of the “history ” of 1348 – we, the public  are naïve and welcoming the big fat spider into our parlour to  devour our quality  of housing, buildings and life. It is the biggest foulest filling of the diaper yet and it oozes  out  a putrid stench  ….Picture: Arleevector)





November 19, 2017 at 6:06 pm 4 comments

Lorain’s Housing -owners of the dirty diapers- Pt 2

DEJA VU  the dirty  diaper is reeking 3620 Clifton November 3rd  2017






October 19th- 2017 another year another Demolition Board of Appeals . (9:00 am) Hours of sitting scribbling notes and feeling filthy – hundreds of photos – disgusting photos of human and animal waste, homes that had been built with  families in mind left   rotting and decaying  , carpets heaving with  mold and fleas

and heaven knows what else that  was breeding in those structures.  The mold  in this home had attached itself  not only  to  the surface areas but has literally  compromised the wood and structure of the home. Well what do  you  expect when it had been open to  the elements for years.


In other properties , stairs to  the 2nd floor  so  dangerous that even the squatters had brought in a step-ladder to  gain access,  whole floors missing as they  had been torn up to burn in a partially  working fireplace. Even more disgusting –for me at least – is that human beings  were actually  living, partying and doing drugs in amongst the  human waste, mummified cats and some more recently dead animals , rat feces everywhere, a drive up  window where apparently  the dealer of drugs sat as his/her customers made their purchases. Hypodermic needles , remnants of alcohol containers, food  littered every  horizontal surface.   One home, although a small tree had grown through a window awning,  was not in the same terrible  state  therefore the Demo  Board took the home off the list voluntarily.

There is a  sub culture in this town using these nauseating dwellings   as evidenced by the insides of these structures. These structures  are obviously  deemed safe from prying eyes   by those who  frequent the vomitus homes for their illegal and dangerous dealings   because no  one in their right mind or any  sort of consideration of their own worth  would enter these places let alone  sleep on  an excruciatingly   filthy  couch surrounded by human feces and animal waste, rats and fleas – It just doesn’t bear thinking about .

It is no  wonder those that had to  inspect had to  wear masks and environmental protection gear. The Lorain Police Dept. having to  check to  make sure the properties were at least free of the dangerous human elements. Hundreds of photos later  I  was thankful the smells of those places  were missing from the presentation.

Everyone was sworn in who  intended to  speak . I didn’t take the oath  for once I wanted to  observe and keep my  mouth  shut……. and then Deja Vu. One of the homes 4310 Meister Road – empty  and decaying for 5-7 years

Since this was an appeals board, people could appeal the property  being put on the demo  list. A property  LLC representative came before the board  offering $70,000 to  save this house. There was much  discussion and to  the needs of the house, all which  apparently  could be rectified. Oh that is a positive one would think : So  why  was I  sending out panicked mind messages to  the Board members  ( not having been sworn in) NO! NO!  please NO!!

Back I was transported to  another demo  board of appeals  3620 Clifton on January 2013.

January 2013 Photo Lorain 365

1. We now know that a property 3620 Clifton purchased in 2011 after five years of being open to the elements was deemed bad enough to be issued a search warrant in Sept 2012-

2. Declared a public nuisance and uninhabitable – the property listed for demolition ( along with two neighboring properties ) Jan 4th 2013

3.Given a reprieve because the “Duo of Will Do” ( Barbee and Johnson) owners pleaded before the Demolitions appeals Board for more time a week later Jan 11th 2013 by that same board . A board that had doubts caved to the “give em a break mentality”

You  can find the series and reports ( all documented ) https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2017/05/29/a-tale-of-two-the-why-land-of-iz-not-woz/

The fact the gentleman at the mic was well meaning didn’t change my  mind. You  see he had not purchased or even had letter  of intent to  purchase from the supposed owner of the property ( another of those wonderful banks) – 


he did not have a business plan or list of contracted subcontractors showing the intent to  do  the work  or even a  check as a gesture of intent.

 As the representative of the legal dept. spoke those  words (paraphrasing because I  was instantly sent back to  another  time -2013) “we can always  re-inspect……. aaaaaahhhhhhhhh”and FAMOUS last words from  3620 Clifton

Mr. Cantu 2013 :  Yes! because we could cite him on property maintenance if he doesn’t continue to go on.    NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO please no!

Because those same words uttered led to  3620 sitting for another 4 years and having to  start the process all over again…….. see the photo  at the top  of this post. The Statute of Limitations ran out.

When we (Lorain 365 Blog) https://lorain365.com/  researched the process of 3620 Clifton , we found that inspections are not all what they  are cracked up  to  be . For instance for the inspectors etc to  go  through the inside of these properties there is a lot of legal  procedures. The city  has to  get a search  warrant. ( these are for these abandoned homes).

We found the properties could only  be inspected from the street or neighboring property ( with  permission) in the case rehabbing a property ( residential)  unless the inspectors were “invited in by  the owners”.

Should electrical or plumbing permits are pulled  they  can fall under inspection process.

BUT what if people don’t ask them in or  pull those permits – and that does happen a lot believe me – happened to  the house  next door to  me on both  sides – one is now  demoed). You  see not everyone follows the rules ( if they  did we wouldn’t have these structures in the first place!!!!


I was very  interested in the mold abatement – and it seems   an unscrupulous builder, contractor  could very  well come in spray  the bleach  , chemicals  put up new drywall  change out the carpets and Voila…..you  are non the wiser…… unless the Building Dept are asked in………. Yes I  can see that happening with  especially  the out of town LLC’s – I  don’t think so!!!!! From the City  of Lorain BHP dept.

As to going in and inspecting the removal of mold etc. the Building Department has to be scheduled for an inspection. If the owner would like us to be out there for that inspection – we would go. In other words – we just can’t show up and expect to be invited in.

As far as the electrical, plumbing, heating etc. All of that work (the rough in inspections, undergrounds) will probably require permits (any new wiring, furnace/ac, water lines etc. require permits). Those inspections are encompassed within the Building Permit (and required Building Code regulations).


We, the law abiding citizens and property  owners ,  are not protected by  a system that has no  accountability – and so  it continues  – back to 1348 West Erie  next time …….. Welcome to  my  parlor  (Lorain) said the fly  to  the spider – slice us and dice up

To Be Continued


November 6, 2017 at 5:02 pm 7 comments

Nov 3rd – Moments to Hold- Chris Ritchey

Thanks to  school starting times , every  weekday morning I spend with  your nephews Gavin and Braedyn.  I am lucky  in that respect  every    morning I  see the two  little boys so  dear to  my  heart and to  my  happiness.


Gavin , is definitely  the morning person, he is chatty  and excited about his day. Braedyn is just like me , we do  not do  mornings at all well.  Leave us alone, don’t  force us awake into  the morning, especially  when it is dark out.

Knowing how to  wake a non-morning person is half the battle .  So for now, after everyone has left , tiptoeing into  the bedroom ,  a gentle rub on the back, a small warm plump  hand of a little one, curls warmly  around my  fingers, a soft pink cheek flushed with  sleep  and for just an instant  a tiny  start of a smile plays across his lips, ,then the realization it is time to  wake- don’t talk , move quietly , let the half asleep non morning person dictate the waking process.


My  hand rests upon  silk soft curls  and a kiss on the forehead can be met with  an unknown response – depending on the mood.  I wouldn’t change one thing, and I  hold those moments in my  heart – the laughter of Gavin  so grown up – his take on the world as he has his breakfast, his humour a lot like yours , Braedyn’s temper so  much  like mine and yours, soon over it and then all smiles and hugs.

Soon Braedyn  will wake with  the rest of the household, no  more moments of the time of warm wakefulness- the time between dreaming and morning for me. He will be too much  of a big boy . But I  will hold these moments, grab onto  them  as they  melt away   too soon.

Moments of you  fly  into  my  mind all day  and most of the nights, some are of another little boy’s silky  hair, skin so  warm and soft, arms  reaching out , chubby  fingers, hearing your voice,

“come up  and kiss me goodnight”

stroking your cheek, a kiss on the forehead a smile……….-

And then  there are the moments that come unbidden , a man full grown but still my  child ,  a hand that squeezed mine  when  you  could not talk , silenced by  the vent , with  such strength I  jumped with  surprise…..what was it you  were trying to  say ????

… my  thoughts vary  was it goodbye, was it a final I love you …

Your cheek as soft and warm as any  child  . I stroked your forehead and placed cool compresses that final night, kissed your burning forehead  knowing something was very  wrong.

My  heart rages within me  trying to  hold onto  the moments of you…..



I love you  Chris  , you  are not forgotten, two  little boys know you and you  are a part of our mornings, days  weeks, months and lives………

November 3, 2017 at 1:05 pm 3 comments

Older Posts Newer Posts

Recent Comments


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 189 other followers

March 2018
« Feb