Archive for March, 2020
March 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapt 2 – Chris Ritchey
I find this rehashing of “life” and the connection with the Lombardi family and my son’s choice of a life partner very difficult to bring back to light in my life and write. I wish I could file all those memories and people away in some dark corner never to be thought of again. However, in order for those that read this “book” as it will be ( after it has been serialized here) to fully understand the emotions, the relationships, the thought processes and the connection to what happened and happens after my son passed , the connections and especially those of Christopher have to be explored. In some cases , with hindsight and indeed some premonition I felt I should have seen a lot of the pain coming.
THE ENGAGEMENT- CHAPTER 2
Although I must admit to some “mother’s reservations” as to the engagement of my son and Angela Lombardi , his sister and I wanted to make this day special.
Chris had said one evening , after he and Nikki had gone to a jeweler friend of Nikki’s husband to design “the ring” – which cost him all of his savings $6,000.00 –
“Mum you helped Jim ( Nikki’s husband) find a special place for him to ask Nikki to marry him, you have to help me too”
Nikki and I set about searching the internet, making suggestions, all of which were not what Chris felt were right. Finally I said ….
“How about the top of the Lorain Lighthouse”? I am not sure if I can arrange that , but I can try to contact some of the people at the Lighthouse Foundation”
At that time the Lorain Lighthouse was still undergoing repairs and the top of the Lighthouse was not open to the public. But a few years earlier Chris had been asked to paint the Lighthouse on a shed to be put at the Marina to be used to hand out literature about Lorain. I thought that possibly they might be open to the fact he would like some help in what was supposed to be a happy occasion.
I duly did the contacts and offered to pay for a day’s insurance policy to cover the the event of just the two of them. After a lot of negotiating and Ok’s by the people involved it was a go. The date was set for July 12th. at 2:00 pm. Lighthouse volunteers entered into the excitement. It was arranged, I would meet the little boat earlier in the morning, with the champagne , a table, two wine goblets, checkered red and white table cloth and roses and they would be put at the top of the Lighthouse.
My conspirators cunningly hid them on the far side so Angela wouldn’t see them as she ascended the lighthouse platform. Angela had wanted to go to the zoo that day and was a little annoyed ( I was told later) -my son had an errand to do for me first or so she thought. Chris explained to her that first he had to take some photos for one of my “projects” he told her:
“You know how she is always roping me to do artwork and stuff for her projects- it won’t take long – mum needs some photos of the harbor for the Lorain Bicentennial she is planning next month”
I told Chris that we would meet him and Angela afterwards to celebrate.
Naively I thought to include the Lombardi clan…. my first interaction with these people. I had met them rarely in the past not more than a half dozen time , really never having an in-depth conversation with them. Since we ( “Chris’s family”) had planned to go to the Jacalope – a restaurant that over looks the Marina and the Lighthouse to celebrate after the event for some drinks and food, I thought it might be nice to include the “family of Angela”
I told Chris that we would be at the Jacalope and would watch with the binoculars for the wave of all was well and to have the boat drop them off there afterwards and we would celebrate.
I called the “in laws to be” on the Friday afternoon when it was all the arrangement were set – hoping that weather wouldn’t dampen the day- no it was Sue Lombardi that actually put a damper on the day
Photo Sue Lombardi .
I must admit to be more than a little taken aback when the “Mother of the Bride to be” stated:
“Oh! we are building a new house and we are scheduled to have the electric done and some painting tomorrow – CAN”T Chris DO THIS ANOTHER TIME!!!”
I thought to myself silly cow- doesn’t she realize this is her daughter’s engagement and getting this arranged has taken days and no little expense” ;
I said
Well surely you could take an hour off- maybe for lunch – we are meeting at the Jacalope to celebrate-
A big sigh from Sue came down the phone :
Oh! this isn’t very convenient…… I will see what we can do
Well said I:
It is up to you but we will be there on the patio…..
and made a note to self – I would not get involved in “the brides mother’s wedding” plans – I could see that we are as different as chalk and cheese . I could tell from that very short conversation things had to be her way and her idea –
Oh Chris! you are in for a time I thought- little did I know it would be me bearing the brunt of the “Control Diva”.
The weather was indeed perfect, arrangements went like clockwork and even the in-laws and some of the family of Angela duly arrived on the patio. The happy couple eventually arrived by boat and Angela was flushed with excitement. One of the aunts expressed a desire to see the ring, and oohs and ahs duly followed however from Sue Lombardi came the concern
“Won’t that get caught up and rip your surgical gloves ( Angela was going to be a doctor)
As the afternoon progressed, I found out that I shouldn’t have relaxed about it being a long engagement they were getting married the next summer in June. Oh dear I thought , must lose weight, how are they going to afford to live Chris hadn’t been offered a position with Wyse advertising , he was still a paid intern but my thoughts soon were sent in another direction.
My daughter, Nikki, who actually had never met Sue Lombardi was cornered in another part of the restaurant by Sue. I should explain Nikki and her husband had just been transferred back to Lorain from Toledo and had just purchased a house. Nikki had taken a break from employment to get things together. Apparently knowing this ( Angela, had lived with my daughter for over a month in Toledo so she could do one of her “rotations”) Sue requested firmly that Nikki would to go with Angela and drive to Philidelphia , stay overnight so Angela could take some medical requirement. It was in a bad part of town apparently and they didn’t want her to go alone.
Nikki was upset, she didn’t want to say no and upset Chris, but neither was she comfortable driving to Philadelphia a distance of 451 miles, ,after talking to her husband , he definitely wasn’t in favor either.
Why doesn’t her mother or father take the day off, they have a large family Why you Nikki? Two women going to a bad part of Philadelphia????
I waited until the Sunday evening to talk to Chris , he didn’t want Angela to driver alone and no-one in her family were prepared to take her, so he had to take two days off of work ( not only unpaid but also he was still on probation at work , so that didn’t bode well) .
( note similar ring in design)
In the meantime on the Monday Nikki called me she was in the middle of tiling a back splash in her new kitchen:
“Angela has called and is angry and upset, apparently one or two of the aunts had gone with Angela to local jewelers to get the engagement ring appraised and the one who did give them an off the cuff appraisal came in at $3,000.00 half of what it was supposed to be worth. They blamed Jim’s friend, Jim and poor Chris had been cheated”
Nikki was beside herself and dropped what she was doing and met Angela at another jewelers but they would not do an appraisal. Chris was furious as Angela had been on the phone crying to him at work.
I, for one, could not believe the crassness of this family and two days later were valuing the ring she had just received. I thought of my own poor little speck of a diamond engagement ring , I didn’t care how much it cost I was so happy.
To solve the situation I asked Chris to bring me the ring . I paid $150.00 dollars for a proper evaluation of the stone and setting . The paperwork came back a week later
Stone..its clarity size etc. was valued at $8,000.00 and the setting designed by Chris in white gold was another $1,800.00 and was deemed to be on the conservative side.
I immediately called Chris , but he still was in a mood , which got darker by the time he came home. He and I had words, the ones you shout. I criticized how this whole situation had come about. He then informed both his sister and I that Nikki had lied, Angela did not call her upset and blaming anyone. This was the first time that Angela tried to come between Chris and his family, in this case Nikki. Nikki said
are you calling me a liar? Why would I lie about something like that….?
Nikki left the house, and she and Chris did not speak for days . Finally, I had enough and another dressing down to my son….. who had by now cooled down- thought about the situation and went to apologize to his sister…
So much for love and happiness.
NOTE: All events and conversations were witnessed and although these events etc are from my perspective and opinions however they are the truth. Loraine Ritchey
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