Archive for July, 2021

July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey

Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/

Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-

Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Seventeen:June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Houston and Home:

After the emotion and angst of the previous night , Chris and I  slipped into  the ” don’t mention , don’t dwell on it” mode. We went through  the motions, he pretended he was fine, filled out the daily  reports as to  his well being and lied on them and I  pretended not to notice or mention his pain.

When you  are on a “trial”, apart from the tests,  they  require paperwork.  When his pain was at a level 8 he would put down a 3.

Patients, who  have been diagnosed as terminal and are given a last chance for a cure are not going to  write down anything that might get them taken off the trial  and a last chance of hope. Chris was no  different in that aspect  of trial information. He wanted so  much  to  live , even if it was only  to  50 years old. He wanted life, HIS life and he was fighting for it every  day.

I watched , as unobtrusively  as I  could,  my  heart breaking, not wanting to  overstep  my  bounds. When he would go  out I would cry  in the bathroom , in case he came back in and would catch  me in tears.  I hated that bathroom. The mirrors that didn’t lie, the plethora of pills for pain next to  the normal things like toothbrushes and shaving items.

We had a respite from Houston, Chris was allowed to  take a few days back to  Cleveland , they  could do  the bloodwork there. I kept the apartment, and we turned in the rental car at the airport. We sat in the waiting room . I  pretended to  read whilst he talked to  Angela. He decided to  go  to  Nikki’s first and pick up  his beloved truck., which  he had left there when they  first flew to  Houston a month  before.

That truck was supposed to  be a symbol of normalcy after the first diagnosis and  the “it is cured” . The lease was up on his previous vehicle  and I  remember Nikki  telling me

“Mum he has to  have that truck , he has been through  so  much he has to  have something good that he wants “

I too, had a car I loved, but I guess I  was getting a bit too old and plump  to  get in and out of it anymore. I have always liked cars , leftover from my  dad I suppose.  My  dad’s wish was to  one day  have a Pontiac Trans Am.

I  was trading in my  sensible Ford Cougar and car shopping  when I  noticed in the lot a bright blue Pontiac Trans Am  with  spoiler and T top  and it was love at first sight. My  middle age crisis car I  suppose. It went home with  me that day  much  to  my  husbands annoyance but to  Chris’ delight.

I had given  Chris the use of it  for a few months as the mileage allowance on his lease car ( for which we were paying) was adding up. I drove his lease car and he had the Trans Am to  go  back  and forth  to  Cleveland  and work.

I realized Nikki  was right he had to  have something to  celebrate and if it was a Black Ford 150 with  bells and whistles so  be it.  I gave him the Trans Am and said trade it in on a truck  to  help  with  the payments.

“Are you  sure mum, I  know you  love that car”

I wanted to  say:

not as much  as I  love you ,

but instead I  said:

well Chris it is starting to  have some issues  and frankly  I  am finding it hard to  get in and out  and the seat is hurting my  back…….

Chris and his dad drove off with  the Trans Am and came back with  his truck.

Chris drove back  from the airport  with  his dad and I , we dropped him off at Nikki’s to  pick up  his truck. We didn’t go  in I  wanted Nikki  and Chris to  have some alone time. I  don’t know what they  talked about, maybe Nikki , too, felt it better to  not bring up  the sore subject of Angela’s behaviour towards us.

Being home was good but I  was  on edge , not seeing Chris  and what was happening with  him physically  felt like  a huge hand was clutching at my  throat the whole time.

Oh!  he would call and I  would say  how are you  etc, etc,  and he would say  “fine”.  Then one day he called  the had to  come into  Lorain to pick up and item he had ordered in Houston , maybe we could have lunch. I  said

“sure , do  you  want me to  make something , you  want to  come here see Dad and Nana and Misty  ? “

He hesitated  :

No! why  don’t you  and Nikki  meet us ( himself and Angela) at Applebees , just you  and Nikki!

I realized then this was his way of getting the 4 of us back together in a place that wouldn’t lend itself for any issues we might have after the Houston  happening. I  had not heard directly  from Angela and wasn’t aware if Chris had mentioned anything about our conversation of that horrible night. It would be neutral ground.

It was a strange sort of lunch, again there was an elephant in the room atmosphere , nobody  talking about what they  were really  thinking, chit chat about food, trying to  be normal, smiling   . It was very strange  for Nikki  and I. I  would also  imagine for Chris and Angela as well.

I watched Chris and what he was “not” eating. I was left once again worried he had lost weight. I tried to  tell myself I was imagining things and worrying too  much. I also  noticed he took two  pain meds out of his shirt pocket and quietly  took them .

It was agreed at that lunch,   Chris would come to  Nikki’s on October 3rd , I  would fly  back  alone to  Houston and get the apartment ready  and food in . Jim, would take the week off and drive back with  Chris in his truck, stop  at a couple of place like New Orleans,  go  wild boar hunting   and then fly  home . Nikki , of course, had her little baby  so  would have to  stay  home and my  husband and my  mother would take care of each  other.

I acquiesced to  this arrangement but I  hated it , the premonition of bad things happening was so  strong . I  understood Chris need to  see some of the country  and do  something normal for a change. But I  couldn’t shake the feeling taking the truck was not a good thing………

Back to  Houston.. to  be continued …

July 3, 2021 at 1:19 pm 1 comment


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