The Ghost in the Pond –

March 19, 2010 at 12:02 pm 13 comments

I have watched with trepidation as the ice and snow on the pond has melted and life begins to stir.

A few years back , after experimenting with expensive Koi and other exotic types of fish in our pond and managing to kill them all off in one way or another, I got fed up and went to the old Broadway Feed and purchased 100 goldfish that were normally meant to feed bigger fish.

The ones that managed not to get sucked up into the filter system and got through the first wintering in the pond have grown and multiplied.

In fact some of these fish are 10 years old- I kid you not . One poor little devil with a beautiful long tail accidently got dropped on the ledge when we redid the pond a few years ago. I think he/she broke its back . I fully expected to be taking it out of the pond the next morning, but I was wrong apart from having to swim sideways he/she has managed to stay alive over three winters now.

My husband has moaned and moaned about the cost of keeping the pond going all winter for fish that were essentially “fish food” .

” Lets shut down the pond and just buy more feeder fish every spring.”

But I couldn’t do that , those fish had “procreated” and had babies of their own (some of whom they ate I will admit ) but I felt responsible for them. So the pumps keep the water flowing and the “air hole” for the escaping gases has to be kept open much to my husbands annoyance.

There was always a lot of grumbling from the men in this house as I nagged at them to go out in minus temperatures to make sure the air holes were open. It is a big job to keep the pond healthy summer and winter, but it gives so much pleasure ( to me at least)

Chris actually loved the more exotic fish and would buy them., such a waste as they were very expensive and they always ended up dead.

I thought he had learned his lesson but last Mother’s day along with my tadpoles that have turned hopefully into frogs ( I know two did ) I watched as Chris slipped something else into the pond.

A Ghost Koi

“Oh Chris ! why would you buy another Koi? you know they never survive the winter”

“I needed to get this one and it’s Mother’s Day so you have to accept it “

as he mischievously grinned up at me from the water’s edge

The pond was not taken care of this fall in the same way and attention as we would do normally. No netting to stop the leaves from falling in the pond and decaying causing the toxic gasses. We only managed to run the small pump which cut in and out through the winter. Our days of despair left no desire to make sure the air holes were open . In the grand scheme of things the fish were the least of our concerns.

I watched as the snow got higher and higher on the pond and felt a twinge of sadness and guilt ( the truth be known )that my last Mother’s Day present was probably gone. I hoped the frogs would survive and I hoped that Chris would understand.

I was in Chris old room a couple of days ago. I looked out of the window at the pond , the spring sunshine was warming the water. There were flashes of gold as the surviving fish made their way to the warmth and then -a flash of silver.

I was scared to look closer , maybe it was one of the pale goldfish , we have a couple. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the pond for a better look. I can still see my son kneeling by the pond and surreptitiously slipping in that Koi .

Chris would check on the Koi every time he came home , he would ask in the hospital

“How’s the Ghost has it given up the ghost yet?”

I had told myself last summer I would look up how to keep this fish over the winter.

would I have to set up an aquarium for it?

I berated Chris for giving me that hassle and he just grinned at me again.

I got my courage up and took a deep breath and went to the pond. Yes the Ghost Koi had survived and slides silently among the gold and the dark water .

My Mother’s Day present survived and once again I saw in my mind my son’s grin .

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Entry filed under: Brit take, Chris Ritchey, journey, Uncategorized. Tags: .

Across the Pond- Disgraceful thinking Beware :Trust Broken can Kill

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grammy  |  March 19, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    See . . . there are times when you just have to let it happen, feel the moment and let it wash over you in whatever manner it chooses. Those can be the most precious feeling/moments that you can hang on to. They are small signs that our love continues forever and that our angels are watching over us. It is an opportunity to smile and remember all the good left in our hearts.

    Love and hugs,

  • 2. thatwoman  |  March 19, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Thank Grammy – It took me two days to check that it was the Ghost 🙂 it was a bitter sweet moment – a fish surviived my terrible care but my son didn’t survive some of the best care……. but hopefully I can keep the Ghost swimming around for a bit longer…. the pressure is on now 🙂

  • 3. debbie  |  March 25, 2010 at 7:24 am

    ALL MY HUGS AND LOVE FROM ONE MOTHER TO ANOTHER MOTHER. OUR FISH HAVE GOTTEN SO BIG WE NEED TO MAKE A POND THIS YEAR BUT MY TEARS ARE MOTHERS DAY WILL BE SAD FOR BOTH OF US. I FOUND YOU THROUGH A COMMENT YOU LEFT ON ANASTASIA’S BLOG.
    MY DAUGHTER AMY GRADUATED TO HEAVEN ON OCT. 23, 2009 AFTER A VALIANT FIGHT AGAINST CANCER. SHE WAS MY ONLY DAUGHTER WHO DIED AT THE AGE OF 33. SHE BELIEVED WITH HER LAST BREATH SHE WOULD BE HEALED….SHE LOVED LIFE…SHE WAS FULL OF LIFE AND I MISS HER SO MUCH I CAN’T STAND IT. I SHALL FOREVER REMEMBER THE GHOST FISH..
    I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU. AFTER JAN. I STARTED ANOTHER BLOG CALLED SIMPLY DEBBIE….IT WAS LIKE TRYING TO START OVERWITH AMY WATCHING ME FROM HEAVEN.
    HOW ARE YOU DOING
    HUGS
    SIMPLY DEBBIE

  • 4. thatwoman  |  March 25, 2010 at 10:36 am

    Thanks Debbie I will check out your blog….. I am not doing well at all and unfortunately I know how hard it is for us the mothers to bear up as this is not the way it is supposed to happen…. ……I have never ever experienced such gut wrenching pain in my life .. and just when I think I hit bottom I fall further.. Loraine

  • 5. Ghost in the Pond – Deux « That Woman’s Weblog  |  March 19, 2011 at 12:12 am

    […] https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/the-ghost-in-the-pond/ telling of my son’s last Mother’s Day present to me : […]

  • […] He has grown this little fish of a Mother’s Day not so long ago. Every morning as I watch the sun sparkling on the water or the rain drops teasing the surface calling the fish to come and see , in my mind, I see my son on that special day, by the pond, slipping the koi into the pond. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/the-ghost-in-the-pond/ […]

  • […] Ghost in the pond – continues…….. « That Woman’s Weblog on The Ghost in the Pond -thatwoman on Lorain Dude – Been busy around this part of the planet-Anne M on Lorain Dude […]

  • […] comes over and feeds the fish the story of the Ghost Koi and why he different from the other fish. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/the-ghost-in-the-pond/ I thought he had learned his lesson but last Mother’s day along with my tadpoles that have […]

  • […] Gavin’s little face turned to me with the smile so reminiscent of another smile on another Mothers Day. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/the-ghost-in-the-pond/ […]

  • […] A little over three months after my son’s death I wrote of his last Mother’s Day present to me – A small Ghost Koi https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/the-ghost-in-the-pond/ […]

  • 13. Kathy Portee  |  November 14, 2015 at 3:06 am

    I love your story my friend dug me a pond by hand for Mother’s Day 5or6 years ago I started out with just goldfish in a preform pond and then I saw some koi’s that were so beautiful but let me say this I was 15 yrs old when I went to see my sister in New Jersey and her husband had a big fish tank with oscars and black fancy goldfish so when they came home on vacation my brother in law brought two of his fish out of his tank long story short I fried them never knowing it I was cleaning out there tank and when I put the water from the water hose in there the water was to hot I think I cried for a month but when I got my first house I had 2 55 gallon tanks one long the other short I had silver dollers in one and oascers in the other but when I saw the koi’s I went crazy and it’s been on for there but I don’t have a ghost fish so now I’m going to have to go out and find one I would loved to have one and if there is any one out there that have some for sale look me up thank you and that’s my story !!!!!!

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