I think therefore I am – I think?

by Loraine Ritchey thatwb@yahoo.com

I love Paula’s concept on her blog – Questions- Paula’s blog actually started me asking my own questions.

Maybe I have had too much time to think waiting in hospitals and chairs lately. I do know that I read two books whilst in the transplant center last month and I have absolutely no idea what they were about – what the story line was or even what the jacket covers looked like- it was as if they were erased from memory or didn’t even register in the first place.

This is a bit worrying- is it the onset of Alzheimer’s disease or just that I switched off? More worrying was the fact that during the winter months and bad weather concerned friends would ask “how was the drive home”- and sometimes I honestly didn’t know.

My focus for months has been on one thing being a mother whose world was rocked. I would then come home to the idiot fringe that invaded my computer (most of whom don’t see the light of day in the comment section- (Akismet gets most of them thankfully )

I always was a creature of “quick reaction and jumping in where angels fear” .

I am human, I have my faults – I tried to recognize them – tried to change certain unattractive behaviours and tried to see people in all their facets BUT lately I am questioning WHY? Why should I give them more consideration than they give me?

Why? should I, in the downhill side of my life, bother? The light has started to dawn as I remember older family members and aquaintances they too had seemingly found this freedom . Maybe getting old does have its advantages after all- 🙂

Obviously my brain and emotions are fighting one another for control of what is essentially Loraine .

I am coming to the understanding that I now have to compartmentalize my life- only let in the who and what that makes me comfortable and happy- that make me think and oil the wheels of imagination rather than clog up the arteries of advocacy with negativity.

More importantly, for me, to only justify my actions to me and mine and not the “flotsam people ” and situations who drift in an out on the tide of my life.

Questions:
Am I perfect ? – NO

Have I tried – YES –

Do I always suceed – NO

Do I suffer fools and drunkards easily ? – NO

Am I grateful to the few that accept me for who I am (foibles and all )?- YES

Will I continue rush in from time to time? -PROBABLY

Will the “slings and arrows” of the “flotsam people” continue?- MORE LIKELY THAN NOT – SIGH!!!

Will I be telling the “flotsam people” to get stuffed
– Dennis Publishing Source the Two finger salute
more often_ UNFORTUNATELY IT LOOKS LIKE IT

You see, last I looked, the only people I care about are those that are still on my beach when the tide is out!

Is anyone under an obligation or having their arm twisted to read this blog , my articles and opinions or be involved with me in any other aspects of my life?- NO

Is anyone under any obligation to be in what is left of my world? – NO

For those that pop in from time to time I appreciate your coming and may your visit be worthwhile- but if it isn’t then I am sorry –

That being said “lunch anyone?”