Sept 3rd – Moving On??? Chris Ritchey
“Try to remember the kind of September……….. “
I have no difficulty in remembering this Labor Day Holiday of yesteryear . You had been given another chance of a “cure”. Of course I realize now that the word “cure” was not an accurate description as given to us by the Cleveland Clinic. The “trial” of SGN 35 was just that another trial. What followed was a frenzied trip to Houston, and more of that four letter word HOPE!!!!
Septembers have come and gone and I remember the “beginning of the end of hope” with the pain that never lessens. As this blog brings to the fore writings of previous Septembers, I revisit those emotions of those times.
One such September third came to the fore today because it had been accessed by someone reading my words.
As I read what I had written in my emotional incontinence , I wonder would I have written anything similar today , you can see the anger, the hurt and the disgust I felt and I asked myself would I have felt the same or written the same today? The answer is YES! just as time has not eased your death and “taking of the memories that should have been” neither has it lessened the feelings I have toward those of self serving hypocrisy. The anger that keeps me upright is beneficial to being………… it is now part of me and who I am….
I love you my son ………. you are but a last breath away…
Chris Ritchey Source
How does your garden grow? Part One
I love flowers , eating the vegetables and looking our the window at my garden and the ponds BUT I hate gardening. In the long before the turmoil that has struck this home especially in the last few months I would , in the springtime, have a blitz for one day in the garden. Usually it was to get my husband to move the stuff that had accumulated over the fall and winter and tidy up. I really don’t like weeding , digging in the dirt and getting all hot and sweaty but I love the results when my garden looks full of flowers and the pond and the waterfall wakes up in the spring.
The pond I have written about and the Ghost Koi
https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2015/04/12/the-ghost-in-the-pond-continued-2015/
Purchasing the vacant lot next door in 2015 was a huge drain and investment of time and energy.
Illness interrupted the rehabilitation of the now vacant lot, my ideas and wants had to be put on hold but eventually thanks to the help of two little boys who moved so much dirt the ground was level. I was amazed at how much these two little tots worked and how much help they were. I am still amazed!!!
The once vacant lot was divided into two sections and the back section I decided on a mini orchard with still ponds , plantings consistent with non filtered and pumps water gardening. In other words letting the plantings in the ponds filter the water with no fish.
Considering we are two blocks from Lorain’s downtown this was a bit of a novel idea for Lorain, Ohio. After a season of raw builders dirt used for fill where the previous little house had been ,
dodging the concrete and rubble that had been dumped in what was a ravine and small rivulet that runs under the property next door we managed hit and miss plantings of the trees for the orchard.
My husband would use the back part of the original lot as his vegetable garden, we flourished with tomatoes, peppers, potatoes ( planted by the grandchildren ) corn and asparagus.
And so success for a couple of years, the planted orchard of two cherry trees, one peach tree , one pear tree, two apple trees and a plum tree blossomed beautifully. It took a couple of years but this year they all bore fruit and that is another story to come in this urban orchard.
The front part of the vacant lot was planted more formally I envisioned climbing roses on the fence and archways, the side rockery full of roses, butterfly bushes and lavender for the fragrance as we opened the windows.
We have a lovely balcony and it was my mother’s pride and delight to empty the containers , refill with new soil and planted fresh every year with all the plants she received on Mother’s Day. Of course watering was an issue as the balcony is in full sun and south facing. Mum, being mum was forever weeding out the errant weeds that somehow made it to the containers and would water twice a day.
Last year as she fell into decline at 99 she did not have the strength to plant and water so that job fell to me. My mum loved those flowers and her bedroom was off the balcony so she would sit and enjoy the garden from above and sit amongst her flowers.
It has been a terrible few months one way and another , my mother passed in October and January found my husband extremely ill ( as has been documented in the series )
https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/07/11/medical-care-a-consumers-perspective-brookdale-pt-2/
Time and weeks slipped from dead of winter to spring whilst the garden lay dormant , my thoughts were not of how to manage the garden or ponds.
Trips sometimes twice a day for hours dealing with medical issues left me tired, frustrated and lacking energy . I admit it took what was left of any energy to keep the house running and laundry up to date. I had no time or desire to deal with anything else.
In order to wind down before bedtime I would watch my British murder mysteries and also programs from Britain on gardening, basically because they took me back to the land of my birth, to familiar places and happier times . One such program and presenter / gardener extraordinaire is a chap called Monty Don, https://montydon.com/
he has numerous garden shows but the one I would watch every week on Britbox
is Gardener’s World
https://www.gardenersworld.com/
and there by hangs the rest of the tale on how my garden grows this year and the way Britain is rewilding and cultivating the pollinators one flower pot and meadow at a time !!!!! https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/garden/plants/a28574537/wildflower-seeds-garden/
‘Wildflowers are often capricious so if you have the space, create varieties of habitats within your garden – shade, dampness and wild. You can also, within reason, harvest the seed of our more common wildflowers from the wild.’
More so now than ever, gardeners are being urged to transform parts of their garden into wildflower meadows to help save the bees. The UK has seen a vast decline in the number of bees, and with 75 per cent of all food crops requiring pollination, the rapidly declining bee population has been cause for serious concern.”
and help the sunflower kisses
To be continued
August 3rd- Linked – Chris Ritchey
Graphics Chris Ritchey
Every street in this oldest neighborhood is designated by the signs designed by you for Lorain’s Bicentennial. It was supposed to bring a sense of pride to the residents who have continued to stay here and fight for a quality of life, the history of these oldest streets and a preservation of a neighborhood that was.
I wish I could say that those of us that banded together and set up a 501C3 30 years ago had succeeded in our endeavours but thanks to bank dumps in 2008-2009 with over 200 properties being dumped sometimes for pennies on the dollar, the unscrupulous out of town landlords and property companies, drug houses, lack of code enforcement well we have become a saturated solution of the negative.
Two things came together in my brain this week……. the news of a young man of 16 shot and killed by other young men… just two blocks away, the gun shot waking us up as the sounds of killing reverberated through the night air. I watched the news that evening and as I did the TV camera panned up to the street sign on 6th street, YOUR SIGN and my focus changed instantly as once more I was sent back to your passing and then the pain and I realized another mother , that of a 16 year old , would be weeping tears , heart pounding , trying to breathe trying to deal with the reality of the unreal.
Will she experience the tiniest interludes of happiness? You see, once in a great while, when exhaustion forces the body and mind to sleep there are moments, just between sleeping and waking. One such moment came this week the air was cool enough for the windows to be open and for a brief second as the sun kissed the morning to waken the day , the breeze picked up the peppery scent of the petunias in the window box, this body hadn’t quite realized it had aches and pains, there was for that precious second happiness and then “life” intruded once more……. and mothers weep for lost sons in this old neighborhood……..
Another August of holding my breath , fighting back the tears , holding myself ready for the trigger moments , knowing they will come and wanting
Love continues………. and memories of times much happier……..before life intruded
Medical Care- A Consumer’s perspective- Brookdale Pt 2
Part One– https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/03/22/the-ratings-of-medical-facilities-series-it-begins/
Part Two- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/09/medical-care-from-a-consumers-perspective-ohio/
Part Three- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/22/medical-care-a-consumers-prospective-mercy-health-lorain/
Part Four – https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/medical-care-a-consumers-perspective-mercy-health-lorain-2/
This will, hopefully, be the last in the series of medical care received in various medical facilities , three different types of medical care, and three different providers. Ideally this post should be in two parts but I want to leave Brookdale behind so it will be lengthy.
The common denominator was the insurance coverage Medicare and Medical Mutual. Although I am fighting one bill ( will be explored in this post) and the Medicare evaluation of Brookdale as mentioned in Part SIX is an issue for us, on the whole Medicare and Medical Mutual – so far – has been less than the nightmare I thought it would be.
I believed we were spoiled by the nursing staff/ aides and housekeeping staff at Mercy Health Lorain, upon reflection they set the bar very high– a few of their physicians I found decidedly lacking ( see Part One).
Also , the Cleveland Clinic Rehabilitation was beautifully clean and the food was very good , rehab staff were excellent, you knew what time therapy was every day and who what and where so families could adjust schedules to participate with the patient. You knew who the nurses were that day and your aides. Unfortunately, it was down to a small percentage of aides that spoiled the experience and also caused a health issue ( in my opinion) by spreading C’Diff from one room to another and then sending contaminated material with the patient to another facility. Brookdale
Ah! Brookdale, Westlake Ohio…..the 5 star Skilled nursing and rehabilitation facility which is in the middle of a very large Assisted Living and Senior Living
Brookdale Senior Living owns and operates over 1,000 senior living communities and retirement communities in the United States. Brookdale was established in 1978 and is based out of Brentwood, Tennessee. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brookdale_Senior_Living
The typical Brookdale Senior Living CNA salary is $12. CNA salaries at Brookdale Senior Living can range from $10 – $15. This estimate is based upon 66 Brookdale Senior Living CNA salary report(s) provided by employees or estimated based upon statistical methodshttps://www.glassdoor.com/Hourly-Pay/Brookdale-Senior-Living-CNA-Hourly-Pay-E6433_D_KO24,27.htm
Independent living prices average $2,900 monthly. The majority of locations will cost between $2,300 and $3,500. Skilled nursing communities are available as a Basic Monthly Service Rate of between $6,000 and $8,500.
I have not received the cost of our one month stay at Brookdale Westlake “skilled nursing and rehab ” in Westlake as of today’s date but I do know one charge was $400 per day.
After the poor experience of “transfer” from Cleveland Clinic Rehab Hosp. Avon (which was paid for by self -pay) I wasn’t in the best of moods . I understood from literature that I had read this was a “newer facilty”. I understood it to be around 10 years old. In my opinion it was becoming a little “shabby” without the chic.
I should point out this is a very large complex and the “skilled nursing” ( bit of an oxymoron in my opinion) section had quite a large turnover of people coming in and out of rehab. However, my first impression after leaving the gleaming white , bright Cleveland Clinic Rehabilitation Hospital(CCRH) was one of “OH!” and not in a pleasant way. The parking for the visitors for the skilled nursing/ rehab section was awful, you had to hope the parking gods were on your side as you drove round and round hoping for someone to leave.
Please note this a critique of the Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Section of the complex, I have no thoughts or opinions as to the rest of their complex and assisted living sections.
The facility allows pet visits to the patients rooms, all well and good but unlike The CCRH where there was a designated area tile floor) for those pet visits, animals in all shapes and sizes routinely walked the “carpeted corridors” , one little fella dragged his bottom along the carpet which made me go eeeewwwwwww. Had they been bathed, de-fleaed , some looked as if they weren’t exactly a pampered pet? I did take my dog to see her master at the CCRH after going through the paperwork and a shampoo. I did not bring her to Brookdale!
The room was supposed to be “homey” and an effort was made in the design and décor. However too many bumps and bruises on the paintwork, furniture left an impression of needing a redecorating. The “homey” bedspread with its little bag of goodies, had decidedly seen better days , faded (hopefully) through a lot of washing? Again, being spoiled by the open airiness of the CCRH with large windows this was a bit of a disappointment , his room was dark and yes in my opinion a bit dingy. The photo from their website is really not a great representation as to the “light” in the room we had. After the pristine cleanliness of CCRH it was a bit of a disappointment Oh well thought I different facility not a hospital .
The bed was actually quite small, and no sides. Apparently “nursing homes” cannot restrict the occupants ( such as the side up in a hospital) neither can they belt you in a wheel chair. This was all well and good but for a patient that has very little trunk strength and one who was a fall risk this was not ideal. I was told we could request the sides if we went through the paperwork and the Dr. must write out a prescription to have the sides installed. I said this is what I wanted done. That was the last I heard, and actually he fell out of the bed twice, a chair once and the wheelchair once. Not so good when it comes to the fact he had just had major brain surgery after a fall.
After 4 days of being a resident the bathroom became the holding room for dirty sheets, linens, towels used diapers and pads ( remember that C’Diff) I was ready to remove the patient from the 5 star facility and interaction with some very off putting aides . I called the head nurse and one of the administrators , after my daughter was given the pads etc to clean up the leaking Foley bag. Since she was gowned and wiping down the room with cleaning cloths due to the C’diff maybe they did think she was a staff member, as we were told. Obviously no-one else up to that point – knowing there was an issue with C’diff wore those items. ( Benefit of the doubt)
Some aides did make a half hearted effort to “gown up” after the complaint, however, latex gloves routinely ended up being taken off and thrown into the “general purpose waste basket”, well those that made it in as they were thrown – I was forever picking these up and emptying the room trash!
As for “housekeeping” I can’t remember that happening to any degree maybe weekly and only once was there what I call a thorough cleaning ( the Sunday after I complained ) whereas in the previous two facility it was daily and sometimes twice a day.
The ‘weekend administrator” did get the bags of laundry and garbage out of the bathroom , did send in a cleaner and apologized. The “head” nurse did get the Foley bag removed, changed the mattress to an air mattress, as he was starting to get a bed sore due to being stationary and unable to move on his own ( eg. roll over) and was also very uncomfortable due to a pre-existing back condition. And so it began…………
The rehab staff were very good, he could not have intensive rehab at this facility , again only so often due to Medicare restrictions. But on the whole we were pleased. My goal was to have him ambulatory , able to get into a bed at home and to be able to get to the bathroom. This was going to mean on a walker at least because this “Old House” was not wheelchair friendly.
Since there was definitely an issue with 85% of the aides ( remember the staff that was above average according to the Medicare evaluation ) my daughter would spend every morning going with him to rehab, not the organized times etc of the CCRH we were expecting, she would stay until after lunch and I would come later in the afternoon through the evening. Night times were very bad for him, but he was on digoxin and although he had adverse reactions to this drug we could not get Doctors to take him off of it ( prescribed by the ghost cardiologist from Mercy)
https://www.nhqualitycampaign.org/…/Drugs_that_may_cause_psychiatric_symptoms…visual hallucinations, fear, paranoia, agitation, anxiety. Sudden … Hallucinations, paranoia, delusions, confusion, mania, anxiety … Digoxin (Lanoxin*).
“On March 17th I received a call from the night nursing staff at Brookdale that my husband had fallen trying to get out of his chair. The nurse informed me he had bruising to his abdomen and an abrasion to his left leg.They could not tell me if he had hit his head. Considering they stated he had only fallen 10 minutes previously to calling me I was concerned they could not tell me whether he had hit his head and that bruising to the abdomen was already in place. I deemed it important considering the history of previous weeks of major brain bleed and surgery he should be checked out by someone other than an LPN. Hence the trip to St. John’s Westshore Emergency Dept. He was monitored in the ER and after a few hours sent back to Brookdale .
It is my contention that due to the recent history of falling and two brain bleeds the ER was the appropriate facility at 1 a.m in the morning. Brookdale, in my opinion did not have a qualified individual on duty or equipment to ascertain a diagnosis. The ER was the best place”
July 3rd- continuing – Chris Ritchey
I have written about you every month on the 3rd of the month as my memorial to you – your life and your art work. A few months ago I wrote these lines in the post https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/03/april-3rd-forgotten-chris-ritchey/
““They say you die three times – once when your body fails you – again when you are buried ( funeral) and again when you are forgotten”.
Death of the body and death of memory. When you are buried and that headstone in place is a remembrance of sorts but there’s the rub how long will that headstone last?
Most of us believe that record of our being in the places designed for such – as cemeteries and crematoriums will last forever, not so especially with the way things happen with cemeteries in recent years. This Blog https://lisanneharris.com/2013/05/12/sadly-utterly-abandoned-churches-cemeteries/ Ms. Harris has a plethora of photos from around the world of these sad places. The forlorn graves sinking into oblivion once held the tears and heartbreak of mourners who grieved over their loved ones. Even in this old neighborhood the citizens of Lorain in the past plowed under and buried the little Charleston Village Cemetery
https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/tag/pioneer-cemetery-lorain/
I read once , here you can’t reclaim or take out graves until 100 years after the last burial. But that is another law that is circumvented. I know it happened to your Great Grandmother and Great Grandfather and Great- Great Grandmother, the site was moved (although other family members wouldn’t have it) but I remember visiting those graves in a totally different area of the cemetery and one was missing altogether.
You are not dead because our love of you is alive and you are in our thoughts and dreams daily.
Your Nana was not afraid to die, she was actually welcoming her demise -99 years is longer than most get on this earth.
She had out- lived her brothers , sisters, friends of her youth. She was ready but as she sipped her tea one day near the ending she look at me over the rim of the cup and said
“you won’t forget me will you, Nikki and the children will remember they had their Nana”.
There is no headstone in a “family plot” because that is not what she wanted. Her ashes will hopefully one day make it back to “her England” , time and life permitting.
Today, I received a notification from the Crematorium in England
about your Grandfather. What a mess that was when he passed , he had gone off with someone else – had a new family – although he clung still to his old one. Due to the fact he never remarried, I was still his next of kin, the arrangements were left to me although his “woman” did orchestrate some aspects.
Then a few years on, since Nana and I were home, we went to the crematorium and I asked the office where my fathers ashes were interred. Imagine my guilt when I found out no-one had ever claimed them! I had thought his fancy bit would have, she obviously was done with him after he died. I was told his ashes were scattered in a part of the crematorium I was shown the spot where his ashes had been scattered and was told
“I could have a “tablet” positioned on the walls surrounding the Willow Garden, and are ideal for those who wish to mark the position of a loved one whose ashes have been scattered below.”
It was decided, only Nana would have nothing to do with it , didn’t want her name mentioned and went and sat in the rose garden. This is truly a beautiful place. I realized, although his work of a cross ( commissioned by the Governor of Gibraltar) hopefully still adorns the altar in the Naval Chapel there ,
there was not a permanent dedication ( well as permanent as can be in this life) but one day even that small reminder will be taken from the wall
Anyway I purchased a “tablet: and every 10 years I receive an invoice to renew the dedication, a few hundred pounds. No-one goes to the crematorium anymore to pay their respects, I am not sure anyone other than I ever did but I paid this invoice today because his name is there , the fact he lived and died on those dates is still there and he is not forgotten and he did live and he loved me and I , him
My Dad and I happier times
Oh his great grandson has the look of him but only I and a photograph of old realize that :
And that is why I write about you month after month for as long as I can so you know you aren’t forgotten and that you lived…….. and are still loved with every breath in my body………..
Breath of Life – Celtic Knot – Chris Ritchey
Medical Care – a consumer’s perspective-Brookdale ( Skilled Nursing)
Part One– https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/03/22/the-ratings-of-medical-facilities-series-it-begins/
Part Two- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/09/medical-care-from-a-consumers-perspective-ohio/
Part Three- https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/22/medical-care-a-consumers-prospective-mercy-health-lorain/
Part Four – https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/medical-care-a-consumers-perspective-mercy-health-lorain-2/
This time when we were told we would have to make plans for my husband to leave the Cleveland Clinic Rehabilitation Hospital ( after 19 days) were were given a list with 54 skilled nursing facilities but more time in which to make a decision.
The case worker at Cleveland Clinic Rehab Hosp. printed out a list of 54 facilities within a 25 mile radius, with ratings from Medicare .gov Nursing Home Compare .
As you can see page one with the closest to home ( as I already had checked them out) were crossed off. “One” of the complaints I have of Medicare in their ratings , in our situation, was we needed physical therapy and rehabilitation and although “staffing” was rated, Health inspections and Quality were rated there was not a rating for the “caliber” of rehab and therapists.
I would like to point out that at Brookdale aka WESTLAKE VILLAGE CARE CENTER 28540, village Drive Westlake Ohio 44145 , the rehab therapy and therapists were excellent. I wish I could say the same for 90 percent of their aides.
20 of the 54 facilities were listed in their staffing by Medicare as “much below or below average”, even when their overall rating was above average or much above average – very confusing .
The star system given my Medicare was also misleading ( Brookdale) – Westlake Village was given a 5 out of 5 star , comforting to me when we chose this facility and also the staffing as “above average” – I don’t know who at Medicare rates these facilities but this was not in any way a 5 star facility unless the bar is set very low!!!!
Take a look at the first page ( first photo) of the report of the 5 facilities 4 received 4 out of 5 stars but each of them has a rating of below average for staffing. and one Lake Pointe Health Care a 1.
NOTE: you really have to do your homework and that is hard when you are having to choose a facility for a loved one during a traumatic time. I thought I had done my homework with this facility. Since my husband was in the University Hospital system, as were all his doctors, I checked and Brookdale had access to either the Cleveland Clinic System and for us a doctor with University Hospitals. It had taken me weeks of being “out of our system to get him back into UH.
I was happy in our choice having done as much research as I could , ratings , recommendations etc. looking on line . https://www.brookdale.com/en/communities/brookdale-westlake-village.html?cid=yext
The trip from the Cleveland Clinic Rehabilitation Hospital via “transport” was again a fiasco of waiting and miscommunication as to what sort of transport was needed.
Although I had had problems at the Cleveland Clinic they had been addressed for the most part quickly and efficiently , however we left on a sour note and with “personal belongings in a large bag”.
Due to the tension dealing with Doc Martens transport I didn’t realize that along with my husband carried by one of the administrative staff to the ambulance was the lift pads and sling pad from both his bed and wheelchairs and various items .
The lift pads/sling pads ( plastic) we discovered later ,when I looked into the closet at Brookdale where the bag had been placed as personal effects had fecal matter attached, bad enough but considering this was also contaminated with C’diff most worrying and dangerous in my laypersons opinion.
Here we were bringing into another facility contaminated matter!!! This practice of transporting these items should not occur , after all you don’t know where they have been.
This was not a good start to our stay and within 4 days I was ready to pull my husband out of this 5 star establishment ……. TO BE CONTINUED…..
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