January 3rd -No Limits- Chapter 24- Chris Ritchey
NO LIMITS
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/11/03/nov-3rd-no-limits-chapter-22-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/12/03/dec-3rd-no-limits-chapt-23-chris-ritchey/
Cleveland – The Dying Time
NOTE: Two years ago today I started writing Chris’ story of his life and time on this poor planet . I cannot begin to tell you the toll these last few chapters have taken upon my very being.
I have to write at night when all is quiet and I am alone with my tears and gutting pain, trying to swallow back the emotions that erupt out of the very depths of me. It is painful and torturous but I promised and I will keep that promise to my son.
despair. by Chris Ritchey
Chris spent a few days being tested after returning to Cleveland , getting fluids. It was the Friday before Thanksgiving . I had spoken to Chris on the phone the night before , he wanted to come home for a few days but could he come to our house as he didn’t want to add to Nikki’s work, as she had the baby.
I said that was fine, have Angela drive him here if he was a bit wobbly to drive and I would get a room ready and etc.
On that Friday I was in K Mart getting new bedding and towels, groceries that I knew he would eat etc. for him and anything thing else I could think of to make him comfortable for when he came home. I knew that his dog Misty would help , they so loved each other and Misty missed him terribly. 
My mother and I were just getting ready to go through the checkout when Angela called on my cell phone . I became a little confused as she said:
“Chris, said that you were going to come to the apartment and stay the night with him as I have to be on duty”
This was the first I had heard of it , but I didn’t say anything, maybe Chris had not told her he had wanted to come home . I would ask him when I saw him. I went along with her and said
Yes I can come , what time
she said she needed me there by 6.
Ok I will bring him supper and will be there at 6.
I went home made arrangements and took the food up with me. When I arrived, just before 6, Angela had already left . Chris was lying on the couch looking dreadful. He hadn’t eaten so I thought maybe he needed some nourishment . He ate in silence and then said :
Mum, you will have to go down and let this guy in he is coming to bring an oxygen tank
Why? what is going on, what happened I thought you were coming home, I don’t understand.
Well it seems he never told Angela about wanting to come home because he had started having difficulty breathing they went to South Pointe again. They prescribed oxygen to help with the breathing, they though he might have the flu.
Oh that damned flu shot , I didn’t think it was the flu I thought that shot is giving a false reading
but then I thought
it can’t be that bad they would have kept him in.
The man with the oxygen tank arrived, hooked up this cylinder type tank and Chris looked a little better. After he left Chris wanted to watch a movie . I remember his words so clearly , he was trying to put on a movie and the exertion of going across the room took everything he had.
“This is like drowning must be, not being able to breathe is so dibilitating , it is worse than the cancer. Mum what ever don’t let me be pathetic because I am pathetic now”
Oh Chris you aren’t pathetic, you are wonderful I love you and this is the flu.
In my heart of heart I knew this was not the flu. I didn’t know what to say or do I just sat an watched the tv screen, I couldn’t even tell you what the movie was. I just sat in the chair wanting to scream out loud to the gods, to fate, to whomever and desperatly trying not let my son see I was petrified for him.
He would dose off for a few minutes and then wake fitfully. About 11 pm Angela called:
She said that she had been speaking to her father and mother and they decided they needed to get Chris back to Houston.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing
Angela, and her parents were making arrangements to put Chris on a damned train to Texas. They had made arrangements for Chris to leave at three ( four hours from now) she would be home to help get him packed and help to get to the Amtrack station and take a train to Chicago , change trains to Austin and then it was ONLY a three hour drive to Houston!
I was incredulous what were these people thinking ? This young man dragging around an oxygen tank, had to have help getting to the bathroom. He couldn’t even make it downstairs.
For Christ sake those parents might be intellectually challenged, in my opinion, but Angela was a resident soon to be physician, she had to know that would kill him a journey like that !
Was I supposed to go with him him in 4 hours with just an overnight bag. I really couldn’t credit what I was hearing , surely they did not expect Chris to drag around on his own.
I said there was no way that would be possible.
Chris overhearing the conversation was desperate to get back to Houston, he thought they were his only hope and he would fight to get there .
I knew it would be disasterous to even attempt that journey and for ONCE in this whole fisaco of Lombardi-ism I put my foot down and said NO! that was not going to happen.
I told Chris,
“Look there is no way either of us could make that journey and I WILL be going with you , trust me on that . I will start calling around for options in the morning , if I have to charter a plane or hire an ambulance or drive a damned RV to Texas myself I will.”
He said
you can’t drive to Texas
I will do what ever needs to be done I will call Dr. Younes in the morning and see what HE suggests.
He then slept for a little and I sat up with him all that night watching every rise and fall of his chest, every whince, every sound………
That was the first night of two weeks of not sleeping for more than three hours at a time………………………….
Dec 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapt 23- Chris Ritchey
NO LIMITS
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/11/03/nov-3rd-no-limits-chapter-22-chris-ritchey/
OHIO
I was emotionally exhausted after the flight home from Houston although, I was thrilled the news was good but terrified at what I was seeing with my own eyes as to how Chris “looked”. to these mother’s eyes.
The “plan” was Chris and Angela would drive back stopping at various sights along the way and be back for a few days in Ohio and then the return drive to Houston for ongoing treatment.
I drew Angela aside and begged Angela:
‘Please , please leave the truck here and fly back here, the Doctor at MD Anderson didn’t think it wise for Chris to do that journey, can’t you talk with him he will listen to you if YOU say you want to fly back!
Angela’s quiet reply: because Angela never spoke loudly
Chris, will be just fine driving back to Ohio.” We will take it easy
photo Angela by Chris Ritchey
It was going to be a lot of driving but I hoped that once Chris was home home Nikki and I could persuade Chris to fly back and we would rent him a vehicle.
He was taking so many drugs, not eating and to counter the effects I found he was taking exlax like candy. It was just 36 hours later after I left Houston I received a call from Angela saying they were stopping for the night in Jackson Mississippi
It was later the next day I received another call, she had had to take Chris to the local ER for fluids, he had collapsed! The Doctors there wanted to admit him but they declined saying they wanted to get back to the Clinic. I said
“Angela you can’t continue driving if he is that ill, book a flight, you have the money from the fundraiser that will will cover that cost , can you drive the truck to the airport and park it? I will have his dad and uncle fly down and drive the truck back, that will put Chris’ mind at rest re the truck .
Angela “What about the keys we can’t leave them , can you pick up the spare set from my mother at the bank?
I said I would .
Arrangements were made . I went that afternoon to the bank where Sue Lombardi worked to pick up the keys. She walked acrosse the lobby with a silly grin on her face
“Tim and I will pick up Chris and Angela and take them back to their apartment “
I was fuming underneath knowing I should have pushed more to stop that drive back. I was barely able to speak more than two or three words incase I said something that couldn’t be taken back.
Her daughter the Doctor, had she no common sense? Side trips to Memphsis indeed when her husband was downing pain pills for which she was getting the prescriptions . She had to see how his driving was terrible and anger flare ups in traffice in Texas. More than once seeing his “road rage” I would remind him
Chris, these guys have guns on their trucks and you calling them “dick head” and driving like you are , you are going to get me shot…
I dropped off my husband and brother in law at the airport , drove home and waited .
Finally Chris called me from the Lombardi’s car and said they had been picked up and would call me the next day.
He did call me the next day but not from the apartment , he was back in hospital at South Pointe, where Angela was a resident and getting those prescriptions filled that I was worried about.
It was an I am OK mum and getting fluids sort of call. I told him his truck was nearly back in Ohio , his dad and uncle had driven straight through and they would leave his truck at it at Nikkis,as it was safer there will all the items they had had to leave.
I was surprised a half an hour later when Chris called back, the inlaws and Angela had left and he said he was alone and wanted to talk to me .
“Mum, I am appreciative of everything you did in Texas
I said:
I know that Chris you don’t have to thank me
He continued :
But I was so mean to you
referring to the altercation we had when Angela had lied to him and he thought Nikki and I were excluding her .
SEE Chapter 17 of No Limits
I responded :
Chris I am your mother , you are allowed to be mean to me , I understand what you are going through , the lack of control over your own life , the anger – it is OK I love you !
He said :
You were right I should have stayed in Houston, I shouldn’t have come back to the apartment….. there are so many bad memories – I should’ve stayed in Houston and I love you mum I should’ve listened
I said
Chris, it is no good dwelling in hindsight….. we will get through this I will see you Friday . I love you
As always he said
”
I love you too”
I hung up and burst into tears…..
I can still hear his voice in my head , I can bring those words to the fore of my memory as if he were speaking them to me in the present time and day.
That is probably because it was the last time I ever heard him say those words out loud…… a mother clings to every bit of her child and his life and voice that she can.
Note as I sit and type this day of December 3rd 2021- it is the anniversary of his passing and so I am defeated I have to leave the keyboard and the desk and release the pain and heartache.. I can write no more today the emotional incontinence that overwhelms on this day cripples and crushes my very core. … until the next chapter……. and Chris I still love you with all my being……
Nov 3rd-No LIMITS-Chapter 22-Chris Ritchey
Author’s Note.. It wasn’t planned this way but as I reach the 1st ending of this documentation of my son before he passed . the times of publication these chapters are coinciding with times of his ending. I have said before this is absolutely crushing and painful to write as I have to relive those moments and memories. but to get to the “after” I have to document the “before” . As I get closer to ” loss of all hope memories ” I have to step away for hours and sometimes days as it is gutting to go through again and a drain on my physical and mental being..
NO LIMITS
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/
Houston Nights and days – a blur
The days after the fundraiser back in Ohio were tinged with gratitude to those who were so generous and writing thank you’s to those I knew had donated. Chris and I duly went about the routine of tests , bloodwork and infusion. One such visit brought out the Physicans Assistant , she was concerned that Chris was scheduled for the HINI flu shot. I hadn’t realized that Angela had set that up via Cleveland. Chris had never had a flu shot of any kind and I was unsure of his reaction to it. Apparently the PA was concerned as well, but Chris said :
“My wife has arranged it so I will take it”
I sat without saying a word in a fake leather vomit coloured chair holding my breath. I was being pummeled with thoughts
” don’t let him get this shot , it is not a good thing , something will happen”
all the while arguing with myself .
“If you say something and he doesn’t get the shot and he gets HINI with his system so compromised then you , who are not medically qualified in anyway, you could cause him worse issues”
So I said nothing , how I wish I had had the guts to tell him no! Hindsight is 20/20
Chris was always so tired after the infusion which he also had that day . We came home he ate a little, went to the bedroom , called Angela and then filled the hot water bottles , took pills and slept.
I heard him during the night running the hot baths that almost scalded his skin to ease the pain he was in. I lay awake wishing there was more I could do.
He finally slept and in the morning I went into the bathroom to collect the wet towels to wash and on the floor were soaking wet T’ shirts. I flashed back to when he was first diagnosed with Hodgkin’s and the “night sweats” that soaked his T shirts, pillows and bedding . Something was wrong , so very wrong and it was so sudden.
I wanted Chris to call the Dr. but he wouldn’t as he was scared they would take him off the trial . I wondered could it be a reaction to the H1N1 shot, it came on so quickly . The next couple of days saw him getting worse. The lethargy the pain, not wanting to eat and running a temperature.
Angela (Lomabrdi) ritchey ( Murphy) ( red) by Chris Ritchey
I had already booked Angela a flight for Nov 3rd as Chris was meeting with the “team” to see how the SGN 35 was working for him on November 5th.
I was so worried and out of my depth , I called Angela and said Chris is not looking at all well and I am very worried , barely eating and he won’t go to the Doctor or call. Angela rebooked her flight and came down the day before Hallowe’en.
Chris was naturally pleased to see her. She never mentioned to me if she thought he looked worse but in those few days I noticed it so she had to have noticed not seeing him for a couple of weeks . His eyes seemed sore and red rimmed , his skin a strange pallor tinged with grey. .
Hallowe’en, we were invited to JD’s and Karen’s for supper and to hand out candy. Chris laughed and joined in the conversation, Angela would jump up and hand out the candy and whilst everyone’s focus was on the kids and costumes I would watch as Chris quietly would reach into his top shirt pocket and pop another pill. I knew my son’s strength but I also knew he was dealing with a lot of pain . Angela had brought down some more medication from Cleveland and I worried about the amount and “what” Chris was taking but once again I said nothing.
Chris barely ate in the next few days. He took Angela and I to the British shop ( he had his truck in Houston now). She and I went in to buy Christening gifts for Gavin , Nikki’s new little baby . Chris couldn’t get out of the truck, said he just didn’t want to shop , although previously when he had taken me he loved going in there . Again, I worried.
On November 4th, the night before meeting with the team of SGN 35 we went back to the “Black Labrador Pub” to meet JD and Karen . Chris had wanted to thank them for all their hospitality and friendship whilst we had been in Texas. He loved the Ranch and lost himself in normalcy on those excursions to that ranch.
He told me that when he was well he was going to buy some land and get Gavin a horse ...
Chris nibbled at a salad , not at all like him and JD chastised me because Chris and Angela were going to drive back to Cleveland stopping on the way, if the news was good. How my son who was having a hard time driving 30 minutes to the Black Labrador Pub , how the hell was he going to drive 1,300 miles to Cleveland. JD, said
He will be fine “let go of the apron strings mom” …
November 5th :
We waited in a little office, Chris once again behind his sunglasses , Angela went to the restroom I sat once again near the door scared to breather. The Physician’s Assistant came in , and if there is one thing I know it is body language and she was happy. The Doctors came in and gave the good news … the SGN 35 was working all was good.
I breathed for the first time in days. And then the tag line ” the only thing was there was a slight “crackling” of the bottom half of the lungs that they were concerned about . Angela spoke up Oh she would have the Dr. at the Clinic check it out, he had had the flu shot . That seemed to satisfy them and they gave Chris a strength test and Ok’d him for another infusion before he left for Cleveland.
The first thing Chris did was to phone JD, whilst I called Nikki , who was sick with worry and told her the results were good. But she said
can’t he leave the truck there with JD and Karen and fly home
No Angela wanted to go to Nashville and make a vacation of it going home. They had to be back in 10 days . I flew home that afternoon .
To be continued…………….
October 3rd- No LIMITS-Chapter 21-Chris Ritchey
NO LIMITS
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/
Houston and Lorain.
The expenses were piling up. Not the hospitals bills you understand, No, everything was being covered medically for Chris thanks to the 100 percent coverage his then “resident” wife received from the Cleveland Clinic. That, in itself, was truly amazing and because their Oncologist did not enter him in the SGN 35 trial they had at the Cleveland Clinic ,as it had closed on the Friday, before he went to his doctor’s appointment on the Monday. The Clinics insurance also paid for the trial of SGN35 in Houston at M.D. Anderson.
Of course we still had to pay for the living expenses, the flights etc. Chris wanted to use their savings. People had been extremely generous when he and Angela got married in the previous June. Chris was not happy with the fact his family were paying for the Houston expenses and flights and rental car etc. He felt he should be able to cover those expenses .
Our wonderful neighbor of many years “Rich” suggested he would like to put on a fundraiser for Chris , who was almost like a 3rd son and member of his family. Chris, was at first very hesitant , one reason being he was private when it came to his illness but he also was aware his mum and dad weren’t wealthy . Chris reluctantly acquiesed in the end.
I told Rich to contact the Lombardis , as at one point ,they had also made mention a fund raiser (in the very begining) but Chris had refused as all the medical bills were being paid for under the no deductible insurance of the Cleveland Clinic. Chris’s godparents, his sister and my friends and other neighbors also wanted to help and so I left it in my neighbor’s capable hands, or so I thought.
It wasn’t until weeks after that I was told Rich, Chris’ godparents in fact everyone but Nikki were told they didn’t need any help and that Sue and Tim Lombardi and the sisters of Sue would be handling through Tim’s bank First Federal. So those that offered help in baking, food, clean up and organizing were told NO THANKS., they weren’t needed the Lombardi Clan would be doing this !
Well now of course I know the reasons. “Control” a trait that Sue Lombardi definitely has in her resume in my opinion borne out later on in the saga of the dollar signs.
Not knowing of the Lombardis decisions to keep out of the fundraiser anyone from Chris’ side I wrote blog posts and advertised as much as I could for the sake of this young couple. Chris designed the Logo in Texas
“The Committee for Chris- aka Chris’ Crew would very much like a head count by this weekend so please if you haven’t got the tickets yet and plan to come please contact Nikki at 440-282-3195
FUNDRAISER FOR CHRIS
When – Sunday – OCTOBER 25TH -1:00 -5:00Where- Rosewood Place- 4493 Oberlin Avenue- Lorain Ohio 44053
What – Spaghetti Dinner- Silent Auction – 50/50 raffle – Browns Game ( on a big screen TV)
How Much – $15.00 – kinds under 5 eat free.
Tickets and or reservations – please call Nikki -440-282-3195
The Crew tells me there are literally dozens of gift baskets containing something for everyone – from tools, firepits, Cavs games, Browns games and everything to go with them- professional teeth whitening – Celtic goodies- romantic weekends – ( beach condo steps from the water at Catawba )- and hotel rooms- food and drink and a flat screen TV is also in the baskets- So please call is you haven’t already got your tickets- Loraine”
IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THEN WHAT I FINALLY WAS MADE AWARE OF , I WOULD HAVE STOPPED THE WHOLE ROTTEN MESS.
But I didn’t know and being in Houston I was relying on emails and half truths being told. When I questioned Tim Lombardi as to why Rich wasn’t involved in the accounting of the fundraiser as “
|
Hi Tim, I hear the sales are going really well that IS good news ( and we need good news) . I did ask Angela over the weekend about the account at First Federal but she said that you were handling everything. I have a couple of questions, as you know I have run Charleston Villages non profit 501C3 for twenty years so I was a little confused……….On a personal note after the numbers and figures are all in if I could have a list of those that donated straight to the account I would very appreciative as Chris’ Dad and I want to send our personal thank you to those individuals . |
he replied “
”
Angela , Sue and Tim Lombardi
Hi Loraine,Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:49 PM
Hope all is well with you and Chris in the Lone Star State. Angela may have misunderstood what we did. The account opened at First Federal is a non-interest bearing account as we didn’t want to report any type of interest…….We have tried to keep track of donations and will certainly provide you with the list we have. What do you think about running a thank you ad in the paper? The generosity of the donors has been over whelming” Tim
I didn’t need to take out an ad . Tom Skoch editor of the Morning Journal ( lorain) ran an item as did The Chronicle ( Elyria) and blogs. People came through from the Highland Dance Community from all over the world with basket items, money, Nikki rallied her friends and Jims friends and realtives all donated . Since I was in Houston Nikki took everything to the bank and deposited in that damned account. In hindsight I feel sick even to this day. Nikki dropped off baskets and took flyers all around her neighborhood. Tim Lombardi was right the response was overwhelming .
People of all walks of life , professions and places apparently came to the event.
Chris and I waited to hear from Nikki and family as to how things were going. Nikki called me she was upset , apparently Sue Lombardi was telling anyone that would listen the Chris was staying in a terrible place , crime ridden . I was furious and frankly hurt , I had done my damndest to get Chris and Angela , who I naively thought would want to be with her husband as much as she could be. I was wrong about that too.
Chris came into the living room in Houston he asked what was wrong and I burst into tears something I rarely did but the emotiona and exhaustion won out.I blubed and blubbered saying I was sorry … the apartment was the best I could find.. and
I was sorry it was not what Angela wanted…
What are you talking about ? said Chris
Finally I was able to tell him what was being said….. he called his sister and told her ”
“don’t tell mum anything that the Lombardis say about anything it has upset her and remember [Angela’s sister], Allie didn’t call her mother “Psycho Sue ” for no reason. “
Later on that evening Chris came out of the bedroom after talking to Angela to tell me the fundraiser had made $8,000.00 on the baskets alone and $36,000.00 in donations etc. not counting the money that had already been deposited by Nikki etc to the account in the bank.
I learned later from the very mouth of Sue Lombardi she opened a “safe deposit box ” in her bank in Angela’s and her name for the cash from that night. I questioned them as to a list of donors and what they donated so I could write thank you notes
Sue said
Oh well we aren’t sure
I said
well you must have deposit slips..and ticket sales. There was over thirty thousand from the fundraiser alone
Where did you hear that ?
It was then I said:
Angela told Chris and I know other checks were put into the accouint at First Federal , I have that list from Nikki.
And that is when Sue Lombardi told me directly she had opened a safety deposit box in Angela’s name for that cash……..
( So much for keeping track. ) and there is more to come.
Pillars of their Church but money apparently can cause even pillars to fall for the 7th deadly sin of AVARICE!!!!!!
Avarice the 7th deadly sin
to be continued :
September 3rd-NO LIMITS-Chapter20-Chris Ritchey
NO LIMITS
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/
Houston Continued:
I have never felt so out of my depth. All my life I have been decisive , could see my way to a solution or know who to reach out to in order to find a solution. Yet here I was in a strange city , scared to death , totally alone . having to bury my fears, worried I would say or do something that would hurt my son or take away his thread of hope. I could not let him see my doubts , my worries.
I would take my phone out to the pool area and call Nikki , my support , she would get me back on track but I really could never even be totally truthful with her . A young mother with a little baby , she too ,scared of the future without Chris.
Watching was the hardest part of those weeks in Houston, feeling so damned inadequate. I had promised him the day he was born that I would never let any harm come to him and I would always protect him and here I was totally useless and not being able to keep that promise .
You do the deals with an unknown powerful being,
take me , let him be cured
and knowing somehow you are wasting your time, but you feel you have to try anything to save him. You spend hours on the internet researching looking for a glimmer of hope, knowing this trial is the last chance. If I had been told,
in order to save him they would need every drop of my blood
I would have gladly died for him. There was never any choice given to me.
It is a rollercoaster ride, lost in a maze of emotions abysmally alone. Despair finds you , weakens you takes you to regions of a self made hell
Depths of Despair – artwork Chris Ritchey
The keeping up a positive face was probably the most draining for him as well as me. Chris was still filling out the report forms , everything noted as manageble. He never mentioned in the notes that every night he couldn’t sleep for the pain and would run the hottest of baths , sometimes 8 or 9 almost burning his skin to get some relief. He would surround himself with hot water bottles filled with boiling water. I pretended not to notice but it was hard when the electric kettle would disappear into his bedroom and the the wet towels would be hung of the shower rail.
I would close the bathroom door and check the bottles of pain pills they were going down at an alarming rate. It was so hard and finally I understood Chris’ artwork to describe the word HARD , it did truly feel to me that I was rushing headlong into an impenetrable hell , impossible to pass through. I would shake these premonitions as just down to being emotionally exhausted.
Artwork Chris Ritchey— HARD
I so wanted to hold and cuddle my son as I did when he was little. But he was a grown man and although I would get the occasional pat on the head as he would walk by I knew the last thing he needed was for me to show weakness.
Crying time was when he would go to the shooting range or to Cabelas . I knew I would have a couple of hours to myself . I would, on occasion, take one of his shirts and bury my face in the folds just to be near him and let the tears flow, somehow in that act to release the pain. I washed a lot of shirts doing that.
We did try normalcy , some sightseeing but always I was watching to see how he was dealing with the energy being used . I waited – hoping the news would be good at the end of the trial and what he was putting himself through would all be worth it.
Waiting , it seemed that is all I had been doing for 13 months. Waiting in doctors and hospital waiting rooms. The chairs in those rooms , no matter the hospital or city or state, were clones of one another.
People watching , wondering what the story was of the man waiting behind the frosted glass , he also waiting for good news or bad, feeling that connection with someone who briefly passed through in a moment, never acknowledging each other not speaking – but connected.
Waiting whilst announcements were made and the sound of rubbers soles squeaking on tiled floors, the wheels of hospital carts as they rolled down hallways announcing more meds. Waiting , not daring to breathe as results from tests were coming and all the time wanting to run away far away but knowing there was no running from this obscene disease …..
if cancer had a face
to be continued
August 3rd- NO LIMITS- Chapter 19- Chris Ritchey
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Back to Houston:
The family all gathered back at Nikki’s on October 3rd. Jim and Chris were leaving early in the morning on the 4th. Misty, Chris’s dog who now lived with us, due to the situation we all found ourselves dealing with , came along to Nikki’s to see her master. She was a loopy dog and reminded me of Dino of the Flintstones . However, with Chris she was all business, a totally different animal , obeyed him and loved him. To see her reaction when she saw Chris that day brought tears- I dare not shed -to my eyes . Chris and his dad and Misty , who wouldn’t leave his side, walked into the woods behind Nikki’s. I didn’t follow, my husband hadn’t had many alone times with Chris in the preceding months , I instinctively felt I should not follow.
We were loathe to leave that day. Somehow my gut told me this was the last time we would all be together . Photos were taken, laughter was tried. Gavin, his nephew, was now nearly 8 months old , Chris had missed those early months and I so hoped he would be there as Gavin grew. He wanted to be a great uncle to Gavin take him four wheeling and after riding the horses in Texas decided he would buy some land and get Gavin a horse, or at least a pony. I wanted that to happen with everything that was in me. Chris , bought Gavin a Texas belt buckle, it was almost as big as him.
Jim and Chris were on the road from Cleveland to Houston stopping every so often to take in those sights that Chris wanted to see. They also arranged to go wild boar hunting on the way and stop off at a couple of shooting ranges.
Although they tried to have a normal “man-cation” Jim told me when they arrived back in Houston how worried he was. Chris, was in a lot of pain and was popping pills the whole journey. Jim wasn’t sure what they were but that I should try and see if I could take a look at the medication bottles.
I had arrived back in Houston on the Saturday morning. I had just arrived when the phone rang and it was JD’s secretary. JD had once again been there for this family. His secretary made arrangements with me to pick me up, go to lunch and pick up staples I would need until Jim and Chris arrived back on the Monday. Bless her heart , we went to an English pub-like restaurant. The Black Labrador Pub.
The food was delicious and I was at my ease . We then went to a British shop also in Houston where I carted off “English sausages, tea bags, favorite biscuits, ( cookies) and snacks a quick stop to a convenient store for bread and milk etc. I was set for the next couple of days until Jim and Chris arrived. Thinking about it I am not sure what I would have done for temporary supplies over that weekend…. called for Pizza I suppose.
I had just put the groceries away when Jim called they would be arriving at the apartment in a couple of hours. They decided to cut the “man-cation” short. After they arrived and Chris was showering , Jim told me Chris was not doing well the drive had really taken it out of him, the pills, and he could see Chris , although he didn’t say anything, was in pain. They had a supper of omelets and English sausages that evening , I know Jim “suffered” the sausages, as they are somewhat bland compared to American sausages. Chris, I don’t think cared what he was eating. He just wanted to sleep so Jim and I went to do a grocery shop. Chris looked awful , dark circles under his eyes, the trip and driving certainly had taken its toll on his health and any energy he had.
Later that night I was able to look in Chris’s shaving bag for his medication . There it was a number of bottles of Oxycodone 30 mg. I know he didn’t get it in Houston as the Doctors treating him wouldn’t prescribe it , especially when he was filling out the forms weekly stating his pain was at level 3.
I couldn’t ask him why he had them without letting him know I had spied on him. I looked at the label and recognized the name of the Dr. at South Pointe Hospital where Angela was doing her residency. I was in a bad position and didn’t know what to do. I would just keep a closer eye on him and hope to hell these “medical marvels knew what they were doing”
This medication is used to help relieve moderate to severe pain. Oxycodone belongs to a class of drugs known as opioid analgesics. It works in the brain to change how your body feels and responds to pain.
Since they were two days adrift Jim changed his flight back to be with Nikki and the baby. It was agreed I would keep a close eye on Chris , as much as I could.
Once again, we were on the treadmill of tests, infusions check ups . His heart rate had been high a steady 114 and he had had a procedure done but they thought his heart was alright considering what it had been through in the previous months. I was scared they would show the drug ( oxycodone) was in his system when they did the tests. No one said anything but he was taking quite a few in a 24 hour period. He would keep tablets in his pocket and surreptitiously take a couple. As the days went on I notice the hand going into that pocket more and more. I knew categorically by taking those drugs it was tantamount to being taken off the trial. The trial that was his last chance of a “cure” . I had to keep quiet and watch……
To be continued …
July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Seventeen:June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Houston and Home:
After the emotion and angst of the previous night , Chris and I slipped into the ” don’t mention , don’t dwell on it” mode. We went through the motions, he pretended he was fine, filled out the daily reports as to his well being and lied on them and I pretended not to notice or mention his pain.
When you are on a “trial”, apart from the tests, they require paperwork. When his pain was at a level 8 he would put down a 3.
Patients, who have been diagnosed as terminal and are given a last chance for a cure are not going to write down anything that might get them taken off the trial and a last chance of hope. Chris was no different in that aspect of trial information. He wanted so much to live , even if it was only to 50 years old. He wanted life, HIS life and he was fighting for it every day.
I watched , as unobtrusively as I could, my heart breaking, not wanting to overstep my bounds. When he would go out I would cry in the bathroom , in case he came back in and would catch me in tears. I hated that bathroom. The mirrors that didn’t lie, the plethora of pills for pain next to the normal things like toothbrushes and shaving items.
We had a respite from Houston, Chris was allowed to take a few days back to Cleveland , they could do the bloodwork there. I kept the apartment, and we turned in the rental car at the airport. We sat in the waiting room . I pretended to read whilst he talked to Angela. He decided to go to Nikki’s first and pick up his beloved truck., which he had left there when they first flew to Houston a month before.
That truck was supposed to be a symbol of normalcy after the first diagnosis and the “it is cured” . The lease was up on his previous vehicle and I remember Nikki telling me
“Mum he has to have that truck , he has been through so much he has to have something good that he wants “
I too, had a car I loved, but I guess I was getting a bit too old and plump to get in and out of it anymore. I have always liked cars , leftover from my dad I suppose. My dad’s wish was to one day have a Pontiac Trans Am.
I was trading in my sensible Ford Cougar and car shopping when I noticed in the lot a bright blue Pontiac Trans Am with spoiler and T top and it was love at first sight. My middle age crisis car I suppose. It went home with me that day much to my husbands annoyance but to Chris’ delight.
I had given Chris the use of it for a few months as the mileage allowance on his lease car ( for which we were paying) was adding up. I drove his lease car and he had the Trans Am to go back and forth to Cleveland and work.
I realized Nikki was right he had to have something to celebrate and if it was a Black Ford 150 with bells and whistles so be it. I gave him the Trans Am and said trade it in on a truck to help with the payments.
“Are you sure mum, I know you love that car”
I wanted to say:
not as much as I love you ,
but instead I said:
well Chris it is starting to have some issues and frankly I am finding it hard to get in and out and the seat is hurting my back…….
Chris and his dad drove off with the Trans Am and came back with his truck. 
Chris drove back from the airport with his dad and I , we dropped him off at Nikki’s to pick up his truck. We didn’t go in I wanted Nikki and Chris to have some alone time. I don’t know what they talked about, maybe Nikki , too, felt it better to not bring up the sore subject of Angela’s behaviour towards us.
Being home was good but I was on edge , not seeing Chris and what was happening with him physically felt like a huge hand was clutching at my throat the whole time.
Oh! he would call and I would say how are you etc, etc, and he would say “fine”. Then one day he called the had to come into Lorain to pick up and item he had ordered in Houston , maybe we could have lunch. I said
“sure , do you want me to make something , you want to come here see Dad and Nana and Misty ? “
He hesitated :
No! why don’t you and Nikki meet us ( himself and Angela) at Applebees , just you and Nikki!
I realized then this was his way of getting the 4 of us back together in a place that wouldn’t lend itself for any issues we might have after the Houston happening. I had not heard directly from Angela and wasn’t aware if Chris had mentioned anything about our conversation of that horrible night. It would be neutral ground.
It was a strange sort of lunch, again there was an elephant in the room atmosphere , nobody talking about what they were really thinking, chit chat about food, trying to be normal, smiling . It was very strange for Nikki and I. I would also imagine for Chris and Angela as well.
I watched Chris and what he was “not” eating. I was left once again worried he had lost weight. I tried to tell myself I was imagining things and worrying too much. I also noticed he took two pain meds out of his shirt pocket and quietly took them .
It was agreed at that lunch, Chris would come to Nikki’s on October 3rd , I would fly back alone to Houston and get the apartment ready and food in . Jim, would take the week off and drive back with Chris in his truck, stop at a couple of place like New Orleans, go wild boar hunting and then fly home . Nikki , of course, had her little baby so would have to stay home and my husband and my mother would take care of each other.
I acquiesced to this arrangement but I hated it , the premonition of bad things happening was so strong . I understood Chris need to see some of the country and do something normal for a change. But I couldn’t shake the feeling taking the truck was not a good thing………
Back to Houston.. to be continued …
June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Houston Days and Nights- continued
I can’t begin to put into words how stressful it was for both of us , those days and nights. Chris and myself “pretending everything was normal “ skirting around issues we both knew were uppermost on our minds. Wanting to talk but not wanting to say out loud our fears, maybe that way we could hope a little longer.
Not everything was rosy , mother and son facing a terrible unknown locked together in a small apartment. .Chris tired and in pain. I knew it wasn’t me he wanted with him. I found a note that Angela had left behind in a desk drawer, Chris was hurt and disappointed she was leaving Texas and it was me that would be with him.
I knew my presence in Texas only confirmed that he was dying of Cancer, I was a constant reminder that he needed a care giver ( although you felt he could manage on his own to deal with side effects of a trial drug and Cancer) he would’ve preferred that it would have been his wife, not his mother to be with him.
photo Angela by Chris Ritchey
As a wife, I couldn’t have left my husband knowing that he was living under a death sentence and had been since August 29th -but that was Angela’s choice.
I could never understand Angela’s way of thinking, but tried to make allowances , she too was dealing with a terrible situation in her young married life. I couldn’t believe that even during this awful, hopeful , chaotic time she would still try to manipulate a situation and lie as she had done with Nikki and Chris and the engagement ring episode.
Chapter Three :
March 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapt 2 – Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
October 8th: One month in and the façade came crashing down, we were due to come back to Cleveland for a few days . I made arrangements to still keep the apartment as they were so difficult to find. To me, it was worth paying for it to be empty rather than going through the hassle of moving and or finding something else.
This one particular day we did have that heart to heart that horrible “truth revealing ” argument that shouldn’t have happened!
In the hours before that argument came to a head Chris and I had gone to get his prescriptions- he was tired and in a lot of pain- I said maybe I could pop into Borders ( which was across the way)
I would like to buy the new Dan Brown novel-
I could see he was impatient to get back so I didn’t push it. His mood was dour and his eyes narrowed and lips ( always a sign of anger) were tight. He had been on his cell phone to his wife, Angela, as we waited for his prescriptions. He drove back to the apartment in utter silence . He immediately went out by the pool in the apartment – I could see him sitting not moving. I decided he needed space -then Nikki called and said that Chris had hung up on her and was very angry.
“but leave him alone mum” he doesn’t want to talk.
I knew my son. I knew whatever it was would fester until he exploded – he was so much like me.
I went to the pool- he said
“I don’t want to talk”
“You don’t have to -you can listen- I need to talk to you”
I was never a crier before Hodgkin’s I was a fighter, a do-er – this blubbering fool that I have become is down to the helplessness and hopelessness that took away happiness. Chris never knew me as a “crier” before his illness – so as the tears fell he sat silently as I told him
Chris, being a mother of a son is so much harder than you can imagine – I have tried so hard to give you and Angela the space you both need in this terrible time. I KNOW Chris, that you are feeling that you have no control over what is happening to your body and your life- I know you need some control , another reason why I have tried so hard to stand aside- you didn’t need me in the mix as well -But I am going to honestly tell you now -if this had been Nikki and not you I would have handled things so much differently – just as Nikki is my child I would not have sat back and taken a back seat to decisions as I have with you and Angela.
You see when a son marries he brings into his life another woman- it is very difficult in the best of circumstances for a mother to sit back and watch decisions being made that in some cases I did not agree with in a normal situation- this terrible situation we find ourselves all thrust into makes it doubly hard. But I have deferred to you both and to her “medical expertise” with this obscenity of Hodgkin’s that has engulfed us. It has been one of the hardest things in the world for me not to interfere or to put in my two cents. There have been times Chris when I have doubted my own abilities and lost confidence in myself – I have gone against my own gut feelings and yet there is a voice that tells me to still be protective of you .
I have tried to give you both your space – to be there when needed and to shut up for your sake when I was totally against some decisions. I have tried for your sake because I love you so much I would do anything and sacrifice anything for your health and happiness.
I don’t know the reason why you are so angry with Nikki and I but you have to know neither of us would intentionally do anything to hurt you . We have tried to put you first in all our thinking – We love you always have and always will. “
With that I left the poolside and went back into the apartment. Chris followed a few minutes later and then it all came out ( as I knew it would) an argument and accusations the finding out of lies that were told
“we had excluded Angela in decision-making as to driving the truck back to Texas.”
He wanted to drive his truck back . I told Angela in an email ( which I have ) that it wasn’t a good idea him driving, he was having difficulty due to the side effects of SGN35 and I thought she should know since obviously you had been in Ohio since Sept 10th and hadn’t see the problems he was having even driving to Target let alone 1,700 miles.
I never received any response from Angela to my emails ( which I still have)
Chris was furious with me and Nikki
“You didn’t include Angela”
Me:
“What are you talking about – I included Angela”
CHRIS No you didn’t !
Me.
Would you like to see the emails?
CHRIS: “
Yes! I would”
Me.
So you are calling me a liar ?
CHRIS:
” Don’t give me that F…. shit if I want to see the email then I must be calling you a liar. There aren’t any emails Angela doesn’t lie!
I then pulled up the emails…. all of them sent to Angela –
ME:
Look at the dates and times Chris … now tell me I’M the one that lied…… she says here she wants to talk to you about it did she?
CHRIS:
Well she has been busy
ME:
she talks to you 4 or 5 times a day she couldn’t mention it but she could let you believe that Nikki and I didn’t include her?
He broke down cried….. my wonderful strong brave son reduced to tears not by cancer that night but by lies and manipulation
She, the loving wife and bride did that to him by trying to lie by omission … not me ….I held him and he said:
“did you ever think that I want to see something of the country if I am going to be dead in two years.”
My heart broke for him – I cried and we held on tight to each other and I said
Chris none of us know when we will die, the way you are driving lately we could end up dead on the way to hospital tomorrow ….
he laughed a little and I said:
Chris, I know the SGN35 is working, the lump on your neck isn’t visible and you haven’t coughed since Sept 21st.
That night he went and checked the lumps on his neck for the first time in weeks. Chris called Nikki back, she and Jim had talked and Jim would take time off work and drive back to Houston with Chris in his truck . He told Nikki he wasn’t really angry with her, just at the hopelessness and helplessness he was feeling. Once again Chris and sister reached out beyond the miles to each other.
After talking to Nikki he said he wanted to take a drive, we still had the hire car. He left- I wasn’t sure where and I was worried- he was in so much pain and on so many pills –
A little while later he came back ….. he walked in patted me on the head as a I sat in the chair and handed me a book as he walked to the bedroom – The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown…………
May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Houston Days and Nights- continued
I haven’t the words to eloquently or adequately explain the emotions that crash in and out of your being as you watch your child battle to stay alive. This enemy, came to conquer , not with guns , bombs or knives it was insidious in its will to win turning the very body of its victim against itself. Cells that were made large so the pumps of the body (lymph nodes) plug and distort. It circulated through the life giving blood stream through the lungs causing coughing that wracked the very body trying to deal with the attacks. Cancer in all its forms is and obscenity .
I tried so hard to keep cheerful, what 29 year old wants to be with his mother. I know he wanted Angela there knowing the trial was his last hope for a cure or at least remission. I know he wanted to spend what time he had left with her . I know I was the best of a bad deal . I argued with myself, stop watching his every move, deliberately giving him space, taking myself out to the pool side to read, even though I was petrified of the little gecko things running about the pergolas and tables, I didn’t scream when they ran across my foot or thought I was a roadway across a chair.
Chris, would spend time going to the rifle range or to Cabelas. We tried to see some of the area when we could and when he felt up to it. JD and Karen, had been out of town for a bit. Chris, after one of the infusions of SGN 35 could barely speak the the next day but when JD called he put strength into his voice so JD would not realize how poorly he was feeling.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to go out into the lawn area and have a silent cry by myself. Only I wasn’t by myself one of the other residents I had noticed sitting by the pool, looking as I must look, was there. She looked up and me as I was not winning the battle of holding in the tears and noticed she too was crying. She reached up to hold my hand and I sat down and there we sat for a long time. Two humans knowing nothing about each other, never speaking sharing the impact of cancer. I learned she too, was caring for her grown daughter as the husband had to stay in Indiana for his job and children. Her daughter was also on a trial at MD Anderson and a last hope.
Hands – Touching- Hands – art work Christopher Ritchey
On the good days we toured Houston. He had wanted to go horse back riding. I hadn’t been on a horse in 20 years ( I was then a lot thinner and in better shape) and Chris hadn’t ridden since he was a little one. I made arrangements for the following day. Of course, that night poured with rain and a warm front came dripping over Houston. I wrote on my blog at the time :
NOOOOOO!!! this isn’t a picture of the horse after I rode it. Whew! 90 degrees yesterday after a rain that could’ve floated a boat. My foray into the wild west “avec” plastic helmet. I realize that horse rentals have to protect their clients but you tend to lose heat through your head … just ask a politician 🙂 and when it is covered with plastic and foam OMG!!!! Anyway 2 hours later after riding through swamp and shrub and bush I now remember why cowboys are bowlegged.
Chris, had become very interested in life in Texas , so different from Lorain , Ohio. One of our days ( again in that heat) was spent at George Ranch Historical Park. It was fascinating seeing the 1830’s cabin and farm the humble beginnings to the 1930’s house “George Cattle Complex” . Of course then there was that oil that helped
“The discovery of oil on the Ranch in the 1920s changed the fortunes of the family and the community forever. The George’s son and only child died while just a toddler and their beloved cousin and presumed heir Mary died tragically when she was a young woman. With no living heirs and a considerable estate, the Georges established The George Foundation to ensure that their wealth would continue to benefit communities across the county into the foreseeable future. This charitable Foundation still exists and gives back today and helps bring you the story of the remarkable family who loved, grieved, rejoiced and lived on this enduring stretch of Texas prairie.”
It was a good day and Chris was enthusiastic. I was once again feeling like I would die from the humidity and heat at any moment but we laughed and enjoyed a day without the mention of Doctors or cancer . I would have put up with heat, humidity and wading across the little river filled with alligators just to see him smile and laugh .
Mothers and Fathers who are losing their child will do the deal with God, the stars , fate whatever they believe, ”
“take me instead let my son/ daughter have life and laughter and old age…………”
To be continued………
April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey
Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/
Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-
Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/
Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)
Houston: Days and Nights continued:
Being able to sleep at night did not last long. Although, I was more relaxed because I could try and take care of Chris, see to his needs, cook for him I spent my days watching every nuance of his being, and nights listening to his cough and worrying.
After the first weekend we settled into a routine of trips to the hospital , taking the infusions and blood test. One of the protocols of the trial of SGN 35 involved writing down and filling in a daily chart as to his physical and mental responses each day, reactions to the medications etc.
Chris, understood, along with tests this questionnaire and his answers would be part of the decision making as to whether he would be able to continue with the drug/infusion SGN 35. And that is a problem, when you are told you last chance for a “cure” ( there is that word used by Dr. Brad Pohlman a couple of weeks prior basically giving Chris the death sentence) you will do anything to stay on the trial. Chris would duly fill out the questionnaire every day and turn it in on his appointment days. The problem is I know his pain level was NOT a three, that he was not having any significant side effects.
After the first week I went to the evaluation with Dr. Younes’ PA, she was extremely nice but was concerned as Chris had lost 4 lbs. since she had seen he and Angela that 1st week. I wanted to tell her that he probably had had nothing to eat but a plate of spaghetti for days but kept my mouth shut. I assured her I would be cooking his meals at least three times a day . When we met with Doctor Younes Chris asked him for a prescription for Oxycodone for pain. I watched the Doctors face
“You shouldn’t be feeling pain on that level, why are you on Oxycodone it isn’t in your notes….”
I immediately realized Chris had committed a grave sin in asking. I knew Angela had a prescription filled for him from the Clinic. I hurriedly stated.
Oh! he was given a few after the lumpectomy when they did the biopsy on his neck a few days ago and he was in a lot of pain after that surgery and that is why as the prescription was only for a few of them.
That seemed to satisfy the doctor. When Angela called that evening I explained what happened and that the Dr. had prescribed Darvon . I mentioned the Doctor was not happy with Chris being on the Oxycodone . She just giggled and said
don’t worry I will get Chris a prescription….. Darvon is nothing more than Tylenol and does nothing” .
Well I wasn’t going to argue after all she was the 3rd year Resident. Apparently by this time Chris had developed a tolerance to pain killers. He told Angela the Darvon wasn’t doing anything and she said just double the dosage, until I come down next week . Keeping my mouth shut was getting more and more difficult.
Hurricane Ike had left its mark on many areas even a year later. We decided to take a drive to Galveston, I had been there with Nikki for dance competitions a few years previously and it was very interesting. Unfortunately, Ike had done a lot of damage and it was depressing . On the way Chris got a phone call from the Cleveland Clinic. The results of the compatibility test for his sister being a donor for the stem cell transplant were in. They asked if Nikki was his twin because the results were extremely good , very high and they usually don’t get those type of results except with identical twins
Breathing a sigh of relief as we now had another option in our arsenal we stopped for lunch. Our view of the sea front was dismal
.
There was one seafood restaurant open and we sat in the balcony over looking what was once the USS Flagship Hotel.
I deserved and needed a drink, something I don’t often do . The pier on which the Hotel was located obviously had been pretty hard hit . The waiter told us a lot of the business along the sea wall had not survived. Chris walked down along the beach and called Angela with the results from the Clinic and I sat on the bench and called Nikki. Once again HOPE!!!!!
To be continued
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