disgraceful | That Woman's Weblog

It is the third anniversary of when I started Chris’ journey of his life leading up to the passing and goodbye, every third of the month I have written about my son using his artwork for the most part, as I promised him I would. As of February 3rd 2023 I will be continuing his story, not all will believe but I swear on everything I hold dear , it is the truth .

Three years ago I wrote the forward to my journal and three years later I am still in astonishment as to the world and worlds we occupy:

Jan 3rd- No Limits- the foreword- Chris Ritchey

As I ponder the wisdom of writing the events of life as we know it and death as we believe it to be, I know there will be questions I cannot answer, events I cannot prove.

I am opening myself, my family and my son to a world of naysayers, negativity and ridicule. I will reach the walls with this book. I will push aside and through the walls my peers in this “community” and others have erected for themselves and for me.

Ironically although I have always written the truth whenever I have sat at this keyboard and its predecessors I probably won’t be believed , explanations will abound, logic ( as we perceive things to happen)will come into play .

I have hesitated for months, even years, to tell the story from my self-imposed box. I have written millions of words on my personal blog in the 10 years since my son died. https://www.thatwoman.wordpress.com . I have written his story, I have opened myself and my innermost thoughts and feelings. I have told the tale of cruelty, searing pain and thoughts of suicide. I have exposed myself in ways not many would without fear. So then, why is it I hesitate to share all of our story, a story of continuing love, strength and astonishment?

But first I have to conclude with our goodbye, because this is where it starts:

Since the Clan of the Lombardis and his bride denied Chris’ loved ones any closure after his passing, the most cruelest cut of all, those who loved him beyond all measure, those 4 generations of his blood decided on our private “fare the well” in the woods he so loved.

Three months after Chris passed, still full of pain and not understanding the hypocrisy of Divis and the church ( including Bishop Lennon ( now deceased) I wrote to the head of their church . The Pope . I was answered by Cardinal Foley, at least he answered not so Divis and Lennon….(click on to enlarge)

The trees forming a canopy in our cathedral, the carpet of moss and leaves the floor, the smell of earth and life permeating the air, rather than sickly incense. A cleansing fire, and water. Thinking back on that day the goodbye and honoring Chris was very much of the elements, it wasn’t intentional, although my culture and forbearers were very much of the Celtic persuasion, we did not practice Paganism, but then again I am not of the persuasion of ANY organized religious beliefs.

Although clergy of many denominations offered assistance in trying to ease our grief and the journey of saying goodbye, I was too angry at the way the Catholic Church ( St. Mary’s Lorain), Father

Sharing a laugh – but on whom?

Divis https://www.dioceseofcleveland.org/offices/clergy-religious/directory/daniel-o-divis

and his parishioners in their way of control, did to this family in a time not to be borne by any parent. The cruelty of that man and the Lombardi parishioners made no sense to me when they preach love, kindness and do unto others.

No , the prayers offered up, if any, were private and silent, the thoughts written, and saved in a clearing for perpetuity. It was love pure and simple for a young man who was so loved, his passing changed us all.

There was no choir or even bag pipe music just a gathering of broken souls, screaming in silence. As we each went through our saying goodbye bringing to the afternoon Chris love for all things that made him Chris . The hymns were absent but music filled the air that afternoon. I had heard the rendition of Wild Horse sung by Susan Boyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb3XAP0c8WU
Susan Boyle

In my grief as I listened to the lyrics , they spoke volumes to me ( highlighted words link to posts at the time )

Wild Horses
Songwriters: Richards, K. Jagger, M

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted
I bought them for you

Graceless lady
You know who I am
You know I can’t let you slide through my hand

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I watched you suffer
A dull aching pain
Now you’ve decided
To show me the same

No sweeping exits
Or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter
Or treat you unkind

Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

I know I’ve dreamed you
A sin and a lie
I have my freedom
But I don’t have much time

Faith has been broken
Tears must be cried
Let’s do some living
After we die

And Wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses
Couldn’t drag me away

We stood in silence around the fire that burned , fueled by everything that was tangible of the treachery of his bride and her family. We had purchased the CD and a player ( outdoor) for that farewell. However, as Susan sang the CD cut out, started again and then ” I watched you suffer” cut out again.

I was devastated tears rolling down my cheeks in the cold . I look at my “electronic genius of a husband standing holding baby Gavin. “what is happening ” without saying the words.

The music started again right where it left off and the again cut out on the words ” let’s do some living after we die” . By this time I was beside myself thinking damn I can’t even get a CD player to do its job…… then I heard Nikki’s voice :

” Christopher David , stop that we are trying to have the only goodbye we can give you”

The music started again and didn’t cut out . We carried on with our small tribute . Then we put away the items we had taken to the little memorial in the woods,

put out the fire and went inside.

The first thing I had my husband do was check the player. I was going to send it back as defective, I was angry. We played it a dozen times both outside and inside. Neither the player of the CD cut out.

Nana said

“well what was that all about?”

My husband checked he said there is nothing wrong with CD or the player, the power light was on the whole time , I don’t know. Then I said to Nikki :

“why did you say that to Chris, what made you think that”

She looked puzzled and said :

‘Honestly mum, I don’t know….. I just felt that and I could see it was upsetting you and I know how your heart is breaking and I wanted it to go as well as it could our goodbye…, I don’t know why ..just something……….

to be continued as Chris story continues in part two of NO LIMITS……

January 3, 2023 at 2:02 pm 3 comments

December 3rd- NO LIMITS- Chapter 35-Chris Ritchey

NO LIMITS

Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/

Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-

Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/11/03/nov-3rd-no-limits-chapter-22-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/12/03/dec-3rd-no-limits-chapt-23-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/01/03/january-3rd-no-limits-chapter-24-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/02/03/february-3rd-no-limits-chapter-25-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Six https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-chapter-26-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Seven https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapter-27-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/05/03/may-3rd-no-limits-chapter-28-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-29-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-30-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty-One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-31-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty Two: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/09/03/september-3rd-chapter-32-no-limits-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty Three : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-33-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/11/03/november-3rd-no-limits-chapter-34-chris-ritchey/

The ending comes, the beginning commences

December 11th – was a Friday – for 8 days we had walked zombie like through life- the shock of losing Chris still not allowing reality of the situation to sink in. In hindsight the signs of what was to come were there but unnoticed –

1. Moving our son from one ICU to another by the “committee of control” without even discussing it with his parents or sister. This act caused such a trauma to his poor body – heart rate up to 169- shock to his already compromised system- But of course this is the same decision-making bunch that decided it would be perfectly fine to send him on a 18 hour journey via trains and cars when he couldn’t cross the room on his own. I have said it before

Remember that night Angela you and your parents were making arrangements to put him on a damned train to Texas. You felt ( even with your medical background) this young man who couldn’t make it to the bathroom would be able to leave at three in the morning on a train to Chicago, change trains, to Austin and it was only a three-hour drive to Houston from there…..

Personally I am not sure what you people use for brains at times.

https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/i-didnt-know-my-son-chris-ritchey/

2. Neglecting purposely(imho) to tell us of our son’s deteriorating condition after moving him to that ICU which caused us all angst and Chris to fail further.

3. Allowing total strangers to us to crowd into his room and sitting holding a death vigil- I still to this day don’t know who they all were- and that was something that would have caused my son such anguish- after he could no longer speak (because of the vent) you allowed the ” death clusterers to ogle and text around his dying body” disgraceful behaviour and totally lacking respect. And there was nothing I could do- because I still had hope and every thought was for Chris and I didn’t want to cause him further distress when he did come off that vent- (you see I always thought he would.)

Oh! the list of ‘control incidences” continued unchecked in our time of losing.

Maybe had my mind not been full of disbelief at losing Chris I would have seen the pattern starting to emerge.

Maybe I would have realized MY SON , had become to them a commodity- a possession not a son , child, brother but something to be owned by the Lombardi and Company .

Maybe I would have not been taken by such surprise when a call came from the Funeral Home (8 days after my son’s death and ONE week after Angela (Lombardi) Ritchey had agreed to cremation and the decision of Chris’s ashes) stating that I need to meet with the Funeral Director.

These “people” didn’t have the common decency or courage to face us personally with one of the most personal decisions one can make .

That morning of December 11th my mother was here staying trying to deal with her own pain- worried about me and the state I was in and my husband when the phone rang. I knew something was wrong- apparently my mum hadn’t even been acknowledged at the memorial service – no concern for her by the dry-eyed controllers –

I threw on something to wear and ran over to the funeral home. What a sight I must have presented wild-eyed with grief and confusion. I was met by the Funeral Director – he said ( and I paraphrase- I was at the time having trouble processing his words)

Angela has decided not to honor the request for the division of Chris’s ashes.

I was perplexed-

How ? Why? She agreed a week ago- we have made arrangements for my mum to fly home with Tony – to release Chris’s ashes in England- we have made arrangements for our own service of closure here in Lorain- things have been put in place so that we can say goodbye in our way – Does she understand what this means to this family? Does she have any idea what this will do to my husband, Chris’s sister, all of us ? THIS IS A WICKED, WICKED THING THEY ARE DOING..

I was handed an envelope and written on the lined notebook paper was the explanation

“After much thought and consideration on what Chris would want, I have decided not to separate his ashes. This decision was not made as a reaction to recent events. It was not influenced by family or friends. Religion did not play a role. I reflected on what Chris would want me to do….

Then came the diatribe of Chris not being an organ donor and wanting to leave this world with what he came with………
I knew up until Chris’s last drivers licenses ( he had cancer by then) that he always had been an organ donor. I have his previous license.

None of this was making sense –
Recent events – I hadn’t spoken to her or seen her since the morning of Chris’s death.

What was she talking about???- getting her busy body mother out of my son’s ICU room when we were all told to leave… Not religion!!!!!!! Religious beliefs I could have understood –but she clearly states that wasn’t the case. I didn’t understand

“leaving this world with what he came with”

My mind was racing I said out loud to the man standing before me :

” Does she even know what cremation is – what happens in the process? She a damned Dr. (supposedly) does she not know what happens to organs in the cremation process– this reasoning ( if wasn’t so wicked and callous) would be laughable………not an organ donor this decision is wicked wicked, wicked and totally wrong. To base all the pain and turmoil this will cause to my family on such reasoning- it is unbelievable……….

How can she change her mind? You all witnessed the agreement- she stated her decision and agreed in front of witnesses

My mind by this time was running on hyper drive-

Yes, she has legal rights but there must be someway to stop this to appeal through her church – to initiate a legal process as to binding verbal contracts under Ohio law – and then the thought struck me:
Chris was not cremated yet- they– I know that family are all about “embalming– Cadillac casket and burial something that is abhorrent to me and I knew my son’s thoughts on their ceremonies only too well- but this way was preferable to them and they obviously were not considering anyone else but THEM.

I knew from Nikki that Angela had signed the papers for cremation after my son-in-law stated Chris had talked to him about it on their way back from Texas.

I said –

Chris hasn’t been cremated yet has he? She can’t change her mind on that can she? She signed papers she can’t go back on that?

Yes!

came the answer

Angela could very well change her mind up until the very last minute-

I remember the breath leaving my body- I was stunned- my mind and emotions exploding thoughts, running rampant, pictures in my mind of decomposition, his smile , his laugh , his dying all rushing through a brain still reeling from losing him . The faces as the funeral home staff watched me disintergrate

Oh God I thought no – I can’t let them do that to him– not Chris-

So I too had to make a decision -one nearly as hard as taking him off the vent –

I had to say and do nothing – I couldn’t go to attorneys about verbal contracts– witnesses – appealing through her church- the only thing I could do was “NOTHING” -nothing until my son’s poor body was cremated.

I couldn’t risk stirring the “keepers of cruelty and wickedness” from their self-righteous slumber in case they changed their minds again.

I had to let them think they had signed a contract and hope to hell ( not heaven) that they didn’t realize they could have changed their minds for the sake of my son knowing the consequences would be they would take his poor body and put it through their rituals of death as they are want to do and have done since he died just over a week before. I was stunned, I had no words, no direction, I sat there across the desk from the man who had his orders from the Lombardis . I could do nothing and then I said

“Am I as his mother allowed to put something in with my son”

The words came back: ” well I have no instructions from the Angela and the family saying otherwise. The Items would have to of material that would be able to be burned.

As I read the words of denial penned by your “bride” – I remembered the Viking ship.

The ship you had to make for a class at LCCC- the brief- a piece of work made with all natural materials sourced from your home – you sat and carved and cut from a log from the wood pile, tree branches from your tree planted as a child, a piece of deer skin found in the garage and scraped down for the sail and finally burning not painting the decoration to add to the dimension.

I knew that Viking Ship, which I carried around to college visits when you were transferring from LCCC was the closest thing I could do to give to you to honor the bravery of your fight against that disgusting disease. Your Nana called you her Viking and you were a warrior, so brave, hiding from us your pain.

Something to show our love as well had to go with you … the little England bear purchased from Harrods by you for me when you were returning from soccer in Manchester.

I carried that little bear with me in those first dreadful days after you died whilst meanness , selfishness and grief fragmented us beyond all being . He was crushed to my bosom I dare not let go of that little bear, in case I too would let go of this life. Those days of gutting agony he was my constant companion . It was still damp from my tears.

Finally our three gifts , your heritage , your passion for soccer ( football) your talent and the pride you had in playing the game well.. your England Shirt with your number 7- the number you always played :

I ran from the office , back to your old room , the bear actually was with me anyway. I gathered the Viking Ship , and the shirt, that still smelled of you and went back across the alley to the place of disgrace. I handed the items over , I am sure they thought I was mad. BUT: I DIDN’T CARE WHAT THEY THOUGHT – YOU WERE MY CHILD!!!

I knew that at least we had to try and I had to try to give to you what I could – to send your body from this dimension with love. Did those cretins of the cremains (THE LOMBARDIS) honestly believe I would let you go without honoring you and being involved in your goodbye? You were and are MY son I gave you life , I loved you in life , in death and now.

I came back home across the alleyway that separates the funeral home from our house, knowing that Chris’s body was just a few yards away that December 11th morning to my gentle mother broken even more as she heard what was happening- to a husband who was destroyed by the news they had denied his own goodbye (

Nikki who was full of anger,grief and questions

Chris’s cremation was tentatively scheduled for the 13th of December- so for 72 hours we waited- holding our breath – dreading the phone to ring- waiting – knowing that once again we were being collectively culled from anything to do with our son, brother grandson and nephew- the child , boy and man we so loved.

I watched through my own pain the pain, the desolation caused by Angela and her collective cohorts – what this did to the rest of my family. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Chris would NOT have wanted this emotional torture visited upon us.

On the 14th we were told Chris had been cremated- As I got off the phone that morning my mother was coming down the stairs- she looked at me- her lovely little gentle face afraid , eyes full of tears and said

“Oh no! what has happened now has she changed her mind? They aren’t going to bury him after all are they – Loraine you can’t let that happen- why are they doing this

I said

No! Chris has been cremated

and a 91-year-old sank to her knees on my living room floor in relief , sobs wracking her little body- this same little wonderful Nana -Chris had so loved – hurt in such a way – No! this is not what Chris would have wanted and Angela certainly did not honour him by causing his much-loved Nana such torment.

I cannot adequately describe those 72 hours, words fail me.

How Angela could have a few days earlier received a hug from that Nana who thanked her for her decisions for cremation and sharing the ashes, allowing closure in our way too- how Angela could then dismiss that face and that love from her mind as she wrote those words that would just add to the pain and suffering of his Nana is beyond my comprehension?

So on the 11th Day came the beginning of the beginning as I started to take back ownership of my grief and who my son was and the consequences of what happens when a mother and family are denied closure – when closure does not happen and a wound festers and bleeds still…………………“first do no harm”- the harm has been done AND THEIR LAST PARTING SHOT WAS NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL US WHERE AND WHEN HIS CREMAINS WERE BEING BURIED.

To be continued as he continues

December 3, 2022 at 3:46 pm 4 comments

October 3rd- NO LIMITS – Chapter 33 – Chris Ritchey

NO LIMITS

Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/

Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-

Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/11/03/nov-3rd-no-limits-chapter-22-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/12/03/dec-3rd-no-limits-chapt-23-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/01/03/january-3rd-no-limits-chapter-24-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/02/03/february-3rd-no-limits-chapter-25-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Six https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-chapter-26-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Seven https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapter-27-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/05/03/may-3rd-no-limits-chapter-28-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-29-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-30-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty-One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-31-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Thirty Two: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2022/09/03/september-3rd-chapter-32-no-limits-chris-ritchey/

“On pain of death” – Gutless Mother …..

The days of the ” taking leave ” all went horribly wrong……the pain caused by a family I hardly knew – Lombardis and how they made Chris’ family’s pain and heart break so much worse was not to be borne, in fact I couldn’t bear it.

What I will say to you , all of you , is that I could have stopped the pain inflicted after his death caused by those that supposedly loved and cared for my son.

I could have stopped all that has happened since his death IF I HADN’T BEEN SO GUTLESS!

Chris and I had an honest relationship. Oh! sometimes a heated, and very vocal relationship- he was after all “my” son. Sometimes we needed those “bouts of heat” to get to the real issue, to draw out what was really the problem. However, no matter how heated our points of view became, we always came back to laughter and understanding of each other. He was part of me and his heritage in more ways than one.

Now to my dilemma – In my heart of hearts I knew that Chris should be making some decisions- I had a bad feeling about what the next weeks would bring.

One night I lay awake all night trying to decide what to do , I decided to find a time in the day where I would talk to Chris but I couldn’t.

C. J. Hodge “Turning Away” permission
www.artknowledgenews.com

How do you approach your son who had just turned 29 , who was fighting for survival and living on the thin thread of hope of a clinical trial drug and say

What do you want , what would be your wishes should you die?

How could I? how could I see his face as his “mum” asked such a question? Me, who was trying her damnedest to give him hope after the news he had very little unless the SGN 35 worked and he could tolerate its side effects, and for how long?

Try as I might I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t, for once in his life, be open and forthright with him. I thought there might be time, time after the results that I knew would be good- you see I watched the tumors on his neck shrink. I knew that when that cough stopped after the 21st of September that the SGN 35 was working. I watched my son with the eyes of a mother.

And because I couldn’t bring myself to have the “death discussion” with Chris a person who had the “legal right” ( enabled by her family) Angela , had exercised that right which has caused my family such a world of hurt .

I didn’t have Chris wishes in writing, NO ONE DID!!!!

I gave her her due and her way (that is not mine ) of saying “goodbye” only a week later to be denied ours.

Decorations by Lombardi (Vyka etc. )and Company

I am sure Chris trusted his bride and his family to use the love they had for him in a way that would help healing.

That didn’t happen because I was a “gutless wonder”

If there is a lesson to be learned here, please don’t trust that your final wishes would be what you wanted.
MAKE YOUR DECISIONS, MAKE THEM IN WRITING, AND MAKE THEM KNOWN, SIGN YOUR NAME!

There are no niceties in death and for some of us there was a great wickedness enabled by a mother’s cowardice.

I retreated in a world closed off by tears , no sounds came through that veil but the sounds of sobbing…..I somehow knew that it was coming from me. The funeral meeting has been held , I stayed home with my broken husband and Nikki’s baby. It wasn’t until afterwards anyone told me what had happened . I wrote on this blog an OPEN LETTER TO SUE LOMBARDI

“I read Chris’s Obituary on Saturday in the local paper. Was this my wonderful young man whose life was put into so many cents a line? Was this MY Chris – I could not let that be the last words written about my son so I composed a letter which I hope will be a more fitting epitaph to one whose passing has broken a mother’s, father’s and sister’s heart.
The Unbearable Pain of Being

I read my son’s obituary Saturday – a few lines describing a young man who was so much more than a husband, brother, friend , hunter, sportsman and employee.

Chris’ last 22 months on this earth found him on the cruelest of journeys, one fraught with hope turned to despair on almost a daily basis in the last days. My son bore this cruelty with a strength of character and body that even I, his mother, found remarkable.

But before the Cancer , there was another life-one of great happiness – He was funny , sometimes “dark” in his humour, he did not suffer fools gladly .

He and his sister shared a remarkable bond – almost twin like- they would take on the world together . When he was young it was his sister who stood up to the bullies and any adversity and when he grew he supported her and fought with her any battles that came their way.

Christopher had a temper, one he shared with his mother, I understood his temper as we both shared the same “trigger mechanism”.

He knew he was loved and he loved in return. He would buy a Christmas or birthday present and then not able to wait until the day for you to see it – he would have to show it to you right then and there.

Yes, he in his short life touched so many hearts , so many people- accomplishments on the soccer field,

starting the LCCC Club Soccer program after graduating High School- coaching training camps for young players. He received numerous scholarships for soccer and his artistic talent . He received two Cleveland Addy awards in his short career with Wyse Advertising . He would have been one of the best had his life not been cut short.

His friends know how special he was – he had some truly wonderful friends and I believe he too was a good friend.

I said goodbye to my son last Thursday – but my heart has not been able to let him go – he was one of the only reasons for being – I ache for him – I look for him- I cry for him – my son who was so very much more than a few paragraphs in an Obit column-

He was- Chris – a multi-faceted personality who gave us incredible joy and love and expected nothing in return .

I will see him on the street signs in our neighborhood, the logos, the television commercials he worked on, Settlers’ Watch – the Welcome to Lorain Booth at the Port. And my heart is sore pained within me because I will no longer hear his voice, see his smile or feel his strength.

My life has been broken in two – my happiness wrenched from me with the death of my child, my son , words cannot convey the crushing depth of my sadness, the void that cries to be filled and the torrents of tears that I shed that bring no relief.

I penned that Obit to be read at the “memorial service” How could I break out my closed off world , crippled emotionally.

How because I was ANGRY !

Angry at the lies, angry at people who had no kindness of thought for the family who loved Chris and still love him. It was anger that cause me to be upright and it is anger that gave me strength………

To be continued.

October 3, 2022 at 3:45 pm Leave a comment

January 3rd -No Limits- Chapter 24- Chris Ritchey

NO LIMITS

Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/

Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-

Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty One: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/october-3rd-no-limits-chapter-21-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/11/03/nov-3rd-no-limits-chapter-22-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/12/03/dec-3rd-no-limits-chapt-23-chris-ritchey/

Cleveland – The Dying Time

NOTE: Two years ago today I started writing Chris’ story of his life and time on this poor planet . I cannot begin to tell you the toll these last few chapters have taken upon my very being.

I have to write at night when all is quiet and I am alone with my tears and gutting pain, trying to swallow back the emotions that erupt out of the very depths of me. It is painful and torturous but I promised and I will keep that promise to my son.

despair. by Chris Ritchey

Chris spent a few days being tested after returning to Cleveland , getting fluids. It was the Friday before Thanksgiving . I had spoken to Chris on the phone the night before , he wanted to come home for a few days but could he come to our house as he didn’t want to add to Nikki’s work, as she had the baby.

I said that was fine, have Angela drive him here if he was a bit wobbly to drive and I would get a room ready and etc.

On that Friday I was in K Mart getting new bedding and towels, groceries that I knew he would eat etc. for him and anything thing else I could think of to make him comfortable for when he came home. I knew that his dog Misty would help , they so loved each other and Misty missed him terribly.

My mother and I were just getting ready to go through the checkout when Angela called on my cell phone . I became a little confused as she said:

“Chris, said that you were going to come to the apartment and stay the night with him as I have to be on duty”

This was the first I had heard of it , but I didn’t say anything, maybe Chris had not told her he had wanted to come home . I would ask him when I saw him. I went along with her and said

Yes I can come , what time

she said she needed me there by 6.

Ok I will bring him supper and will be there at 6.

I went home made arrangements and took the food up with me. When I arrived, just before 6, Angela had already left . Chris was lying on the couch looking dreadful. He hadn’t eaten so I thought maybe he needed some nourishment . He ate in silence and then said :

Mum, you will have to go down and let this guy in he is coming to bring an oxygen tank

Why? what is going on, what happened I thought you were coming home, I don’t understand.

Well it seems he never told Angela about wanting to come home because he had started having difficulty breathing they went to South Pointe again. They prescribed oxygen to help with the breathing, they though he might have the flu.

Oh that damned flu shot , I didn’t think it was the flu I thought that shot is giving a false reading

but then I thought

it can’t be that bad they would have kept him in.

The man with the oxygen tank arrived, hooked up this cylinder type tank and Chris looked a little better. After he left Chris wanted to watch a movie . I remember his words so clearly , he was trying to put on a movie and the exertion of going across the room took everything he had.

“This is like drowning must be, not being able to breathe is so dibilitating , it is worse than the cancer. Mum what ever don’t let me be pathetic because I am pathetic now”

Oh Chris you aren’t pathetic, you are wonderful I love you and this is the flu.

In my heart of heart I knew this was not the flu. I didn’t know what to say or do I just sat an watched the tv screen, I couldn’t even tell you what the movie was. I just sat in the chair wanting to scream out loud to the gods, to fate, to whomever and desperatly trying not let my son see I was petrified for him.

He would dose off for a few minutes and then wake fitfully. About 11 pm Angela called:

She said that she had been speaking to her father and mother and they decided they needed to get Chris back to Houston.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing

Angela, and her parents were making arrangements to put Chris on a damned train to Texas. They had made arrangements for Chris to leave at three ( four hours from now) she would be home to help get him packed and help to get to the Amtrack station and take a train to Chicago , change trains to Austin and then it was ONLY a three hour drive to Houston!

I was incredulous what were these people thinking ? This young man dragging around an oxygen tank, had to have help getting to the bathroom. He couldn’t even make it downstairs.

For Christ sake those parents might be intellectually challenged, in my opinion, but Angela was a resident soon to be physician, she had to know that would kill him a journey like that !

Was I supposed to go with him him in 4 hours with just an overnight bag. I really couldn’t credit what I was hearing , surely they did not expect Chris to drag around on his own.

I said there was no way that would be possible.

Chris overhearing the conversation was desperate to get back to Houston, he thought they were his only hope and he would fight to get there .

I knew it would be disasterous to even attempt that journey and for ONCE in this whole fisaco of Lombardi-ism I put my foot down and said NO! that was not going to happen.

I told Chris,

“Look there is no way either of us could make that journey and I WILL be going with you , trust me on that . I will start calling around for options in the morning , if I have to charter a plane or hire an ambulance or drive a damned RV to Texas myself I will.”

He said

you can’t drive to Texas

I will do what ever needs to be done I will call Dr. Younes in the morning and see what HE suggests.

He then slept for a little and I sat up with him all that night watching every rise and fall of his chest, every whince, every sound………

That was the first night of two weeks of not sleeping for more than three hours at a time………………………….

January 3, 2022 at 2:12 pm 1 comment

October 3rd- No LIMITS-Chapter 21-Chris Ritchey

NO LIMITS

Forward: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/01/02/jan-3rd-no-limits-the-forward-chris-ritchey/

Chapter One :https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/02/03/feb-3rd-no-limits-chapter-1-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Two:https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/03/03/march-3rd-no-limits-

Chapter Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/03/april-3rd-no-limits-chapt-3-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Four: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/no-limits-chapter-4-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Five: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/06/03/june-3rd-no-limits-chapter-5-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Six: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/07/03/july-3rd-no-limits-chapter-6-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Seven: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter7-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Eight: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/09/03/sept-3rd-no-limits-chapter-8-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Nine: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/10/03/oct-3rd-no-limits-chapter-9-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Ten: NO LIMITS- Nov 3rd- Chapter 10- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eleven: NO LIMITS-Dec. 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 11 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Twelve: NO LIMITS-Jan 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 12 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Thirteen : NO LIMITS- FEB 3rd- Chris Ritchey- Chapter 13 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fourteen: March 3rd, NO LIMITS, Chapter 14- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Fifteen: April 3rd- No Limits- Chapter 15- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Sixteen: May 3rd – No Limits- Chapter 16- Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Seventeen: June 3rd-No Limits-Chris Ritchey-Chapter 17 | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Eighteen: July 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 18-Chris Ritchey | That Woman’s Weblog (wordpress.com)

Chapter Nineteen: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/08/03/august-3rd-no-limits-chapter-19-chris-ritchey/

Chapter Twenty: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2021/09/03/september-3rd-no-limits-chapter20-chris-ritchey/

Houston and Lorain.

The expenses were piling up. Not the hospitals bills you understand, No, everything was being covered medically for Chris thanks to the 100 percent coverage his then “resident” wife received from the Cleveland Clinic. That, in itself, was truly amazing and because their Oncologist did not enter him in the SGN 35 trial they had at the Cleveland Clinic ,as it had closed on the Friday, before he went to his doctor’s appointment on the Monday. The Clinics insurance also paid for the trial of SGN35 in Houston at M.D. Anderson.

Of course we still had to pay for the living expenses, the flights etc. Chris wanted to use their savings. People had been extremely generous when he and Angela got married in the previous June. Chris was not happy with the fact his family were paying for the Houston expenses and flights and rental car etc. He felt he should be able to cover those expenses .

Our wonderful neighbor of many years “Rich” suggested he would like to put on a fundraiser for Chris , who was almost like a 3rd son and member of his family. Chris, was at first very hesitant , one reason being he was private when it came to his illness but he also was aware his mum and dad weren’t wealthy . Chris reluctantly acquiesed in the end.

I told Rich to contact the Lombardis , as at one point ,they had also made mention a fund raiser (in the very begining) but Chris had refused as all the medical bills were being paid for under the no deductible insurance of the Cleveland Clinic. Chris’s godparents, his sister and my friends and other neighbors also wanted to help and so I left it in my neighbor’s capable hands, or so I thought.

It wasn’t until weeks after that I was told Rich, Chris’ godparents in fact everyone but Nikki were told they didn’t need any help and that Sue and Tim Lombardi and the sisters of Sue would be handling through Tim’s bank First Federal. So those that offered help in baking, food, clean up and organizing were told NO THANKS., they weren’t needed the Lombardi Clan would be doing this !

Well now of course I know the reasons. “Control” a trait that Sue Lombardi definitely has in her resume in my opinion borne out later on in the saga of the dollar signs.

Not knowing of the Lombardis decisions to keep out of the fundraiser anyone from Chris’ side I wrote blog posts and advertised as much as I could for the sake of this young couple. Chris designed the Logo in Texas

“The Committee for Chris- aka Chris’ Crew would very much like a head count by this weekend so please if you haven’t got the tickets yet and plan to come please contact Nikki at 440-282-3195

FUNDRAISER FOR CHRIS
When – Sunday – OCTOBER 25TH -1:00 -5:00

Where- Rosewood Place- 4493 Oberlin Avenue- Lorain Ohio 44053

What – Spaghetti Dinner- Silent Auction – 50/50 raffle – Browns Game ( on a big screen TV)

How Much – $15.00 – kinds under 5 eat free.

Tickets and or reservations – please call Nikki -440-282-3195

The Crew tells me there are literally dozens of gift baskets containing something for everyone – from tools, firepits, Cavs games, Browns games and everything to go with them- professional teeth whitening – Celtic goodies- romantic weekends – ( beach condo steps from the water at Catawba )- and hotel rooms- food and drink and a flat screen TV is also in the baskets- So please call is you haven’t already got your tickets- Loraine”

IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THEN WHAT I FINALLY WAS MADE AWARE OF , I WOULD HAVE STOPPED THE WHOLE ROTTEN MESS.

But I didn’t know and being in Houston I was relying on emails and half truths being told. When I questioned Tim Lombardi as to why Rich wasn’t involved in the accounting of the fundraiser as “

Hi Tim,

I hear the sales are going really well that IS good news ( and we need good news) . I did ask Angela over the weekend about the account at First Federal but she said that you were handling everything. I have a couple of questions, as you know I have run Charleston Villages non profit 501C3 for twenty years so I was a little confused……….On a personal note after the numbers and figures are all in if I could have a list of those that donated straight to the account I would very appreciative as Chris’ Dad and I want to send our personal thank you to those individuals .

he replied “

”

Angela , Sue and Tim Lombardi

Hi Loraine,Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:49 PM

Hope all is well with you and Chris in the Lone Star State. Angela may have misunderstood what we did. The account opened at First Federal is a non-interest bearing account as we didn’t want to report any type of interest…….We have tried to keep track of donations and will certainly provide you with the list we have. What do you think about running a thank you ad in the paper? The generosity of the donors has been over whelming” Tim

I didn’t need to take out an ad . Tom Skoch editor of the Morning Journal ( lorain) ran an item as did The Chronicle ( Elyria) and blogs. People came through from the Highland Dance Community from all over the world with basket items, money, Nikki rallied her friends and Jims friends and realtives all donated . Since I was in Houston Nikki took everything to the bank and deposited in that damned account. In hindsight I feel sick even to this day. Nikki dropped off baskets and took flyers all around her neighborhood. Tim Lombardi was right the response was overwhelming .

People of all walks of life , professions and places apparently came to the event.

Chris and I waited to hear from Nikki and family as to how things were going. Nikki called me she was upset , apparently Sue Lombardi was telling anyone that would listen the Chris was staying in a terrible place , crime ridden . I was furious and frankly hurt , I had done my damndest to get Chris and Angela , who I naively thought would want to be with her husband as much as she could be. I was wrong about that too.

Chris came into the living room in Houston he asked what was wrong and I burst into tears something I rarely did but the emotiona and exhaustion won out.I blubed and blubbered saying I was sorry … the apartment was the best I could find.. and

I was sorry it was not what Angela wanted…

What are you talking about ? said Chris

Finally I was able to tell him what was being said….. he called his sister and told her ”

“don’t tell mum anything that the Lombardis say about anything it has upset her and remember [Angela’s sister], Allie didn’t call her mother “Psycho Sue ” for no reason. “

Later on that evening Chris came out of the bedroom after talking to Angela to tell me the fundraiser had made $8,000.00 on the baskets alone and $36,000.00 in donations etc. not counting the money that had already been deposited by Nikki etc to the account in the bank.

I learned later from the very mouth of Sue Lombardi she opened a “safe deposit box ” in her bank in Angela’s and her name for the cash from that night. I questioned them as to a list of donors and what they donated so I could write thank you notes

Sue said

Oh well we aren’t sure

I said

well you must have deposit slips..and ticket sales. There was over thirty thousand from the fundraiser alone

Where did you hear that ?

It was then I said:

Angela told Chris and I know other checks were put into the accouint at First Federal , I have that list from Nikki.

And that is when Sue Lombardi told me directly she had opened a safety deposit box in Angela’s name for that cash……..

( So much for keeping track. ) and there is more to come.

Pillars of their Church but money apparently can cause even pillars to fall for the 7th deadly sin of AVARICE!!!!!!

Avarice the 7th deadly sin

to be continued :

October 3, 2021 at 12:39 pm 5 comments

Morning Journal- Punishing Press-Part 4

Chris Ritchey

Part One : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press/

Part Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/14/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press-part-two/

Part Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/15/morning-journal-the-punishing-press-part-3/

Part Three cont. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/16/morning-journal-the-punishing-press-pt-3-cont/

I have spent hours going through old writings and blogs. Unfortunately, as I have said a lot of the links are missing and in fact blogs have disappeared from the WWW. I can only go by the hard copy I have. I can only assure you the reader the information is true and I have those documents in hard copy or in my files electronically.

Here were go:

Front Page News .. a tale of a super woman, well maybe not 😉

WoM Logo by Scott Baklar

Jon Veard & word of mouth scott bakalar on 22 Nov 2006

SO SAYETH THE NAYSAYERS:

““I’m going to extricate myself from downtown Lorain,” Veard said.
[…]
“I don’t have to do business in Lorain, especially if I’m not wanted,” he said. Veard, 65, who has run his United Properties development company in downtown Lorain for the last 44 years, said it will be “easier to do business elsewhere.”
Why?
“Admittedly, council has taken Jon to task a few times, but council has approved projects with him involved, such as the restoration of the Duane Building,” Foltin said.
Veard said he hasn’t faced opposition only from council, but criticism from citizen activists, such as downtown resident Loraine Ritchie. Veard said Ritchie has been a critic of his developments.

NOTE: THE ONLY CRITICISM I GAVE was his plans to build condos in the historic park”

“What is she attacking me for?” Veard said. “Let her develop downtown Lorain.”
Ritchie declined to speak to The Morning Journal.
But Veard said he’s tired of the criticism.
“I lost money on the Duane Building. I lost money on the Antlers Building. I haven’t made a dime yet on City Center. … Let them throw darts at someone else.”

The quote came from the article in the Morning Journal- Kate Giammarise November 2006

HOWEVER A DAY LATER… Mr. Veard stated to Joe Medici of the Chronicle

“Despite having three buildings up for sale downtown, local developer Jon Veard said Tuesday he has no intention of leaving the city…..“My roots are here. All my business and banking relationships are here. It would be a nightmare to move all that,” Veard said. “These people know me and when I ask for something it’s a done deal because they trust me.”
“I’m not selling because I’m mad about the park. Maybe (City Council) did me a favor when they shot it down. Building condos in downtown Lorain is risky business,” Veard said.

Which publication printed the correct information? Remember media moguls you are only as good as your sources ( biased or not)? This knee jerk reaction maybe to Cole and Co caused Cole to jump once more into the Editorial mode and chastise me a “history bonehead.. sorry can’t link to it BUT here is my response :

As I decided to BOYCOTT the Morning Journal…. You can find that WoM post here TUDOR Boycott

Who got it wrong John Cole? I think I know – tch tch tch – how much egg is on the face of your publication on this one? And poor Mr. Veard – he came across in your article as a whiney, sorry, pouting, juvenile, it seems I have more respect for Mr. Veard than his ”friends”. You did him no favor – believe me – in your portrayal of this Lorain Developer. What my international readers (and I have a “barrelful”) must think of this community, I shudder to imagine.
NOTE – Oh! and one more thing, it has been remarked that Mr. Veard is upset that he didn’t get the chance to show City Council his “plans” for our park ( that other editorial chastising Lorain City Council….before they voted No! the first time. Check the minutes, I think you will find that Mayor Craig Foltin ”called for the vote” that night – that is right Mayor Craig Foltin.

And then YOUR “Love letter to Veard” Oh! come on now – hearts and flowers begging him – Don’t go-Please stay – when he apparently had NO intention of leaving. I ask you who is the “blow-hard and crank and short sighted” individual whose “long winded” piece sent the negative message of Lorain’s developer diva -great publicity for Lorain? Shoe fits – wear it JC!

But all is not lost – Cole and Company you can – by a change in editorial policy, adhering to unbiased news reporting and an apology to all who ”dare to suffer the editorial wrath” by stepping up to the plate and to those “long winded politicians” who do the best they can to represent THEIR constituents on City Council stop this ”Old-Boy Cott” Up to YOU!!!!!!!!

2007 was the Lorain Bicentennial we had a city wide celebration focused in on the little park. Now don’t go looking for coverage- John Cole denied any coverage , that is until so many organizations involved took issue there was a small blurb in the Saturday section.

Link to a number of photos of the event :

https://www.flickr.com/photos/12219598@N06/with/1249174028/

However, the opening ceremonies were taped and one participant berated the Morning Journal for their stance and lack of coverage for the event. Problem was it was ME who was spearheading the whole shebang.. Oh well happened without him or the Morning Journal….

Tom Skoch

John Cole retired in February 2008 and a new editor Tom Skoch took over the editorial seat. Mr. Skoch reached out to me and we came to a friendly truce. He was really kind and instrumental in getting Charleston Village projects publicity etc. for the Admiral King Tribute Space, Eric Barnes Heroes Walk and Settlers’ Watch . He may not have been overly fond of yours truly but he could see past the tree to the forest.

Although I have been known to come out fingers flying when I felt the Morning Journal and others and its staff needed a different perspective : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/media-as-the-word-turns-or-rolls-lorain/

You see at the same time all this bruhaha was going on with me the news media were all over Councilman Dan Given and others with the Community Reinvestment Areas. This too had its birthing in politics and the blame game ensued.

SIGH!!!!- CRA (p)- P stands for POLITICS

Here it comes CRA(PPPPP)

Before I get pilloried once more let me tell you I was involved in the CRA situation before any of the media.I did my homework and I have files two inches thick, Courts, the players and their agendas, articles comments and documentation up the ying yang. Anyone wants to see them -only too willing… Oh and the politics are mind boggling.

However Dan Given became the scapegoat even though the Plain dealer article OCTOBER 2007 used in the court case had 11 inaccuracies ( I wrote to the Editor pointing out the journalists biased leanings – no reply)

NOTE: Article is no longer on line but I have the hard copy. There was a friendly relationship between the county’s attorney and the journalist….. I have the article

Later on I took Tom and the MJ to task over an article in 2009– I had just 6 days earlier lost my son to cancer – but it was still important to me that truth and the whole truth should be explored.

Dan Given was also pilloried in the article of December 10th 2009 but the readership of the Morning Journal has been denied the “rest of the story ” and denied so far as they would not print Mr. Given’s rebuttal leading their readership and those of the community in a direction that is less than accurate. I published his letter to the MJ because they wouldn’t- I would suggest a read of that letter found in the link below:

Two sides- one published – one denied

When you go to the comments of that post you will find Mr. Skoch had his say .. but since the claim by the editors stated they had reached out to Mr. Given originally they apparently missed the part in all the bru haha that the Law Director had told Council members ( because of litigation they couldn’t comment ) although at least two did …

Does ANY of this matter NOW? You tell me as recently as March 12th 2020 Dan Given was accused of public corruption in a letter chastising now Mayor Bradley from the Lorain FOP for supporting a political candidate they have issues with. Click on jpg for a clearer picture.

Although letters and legal stating no wrongdoing 15 YEARS LATER DAN GIVEN IS STILL BEING ACCUSED. 10 YEARS cleared of any wrongdoing AND YET STILL IN 2020 THE FOP ACCUSATION OF public corruption..

MAYBE THEY MISSED THE ARTICLE FROM 10 YEARS AGO!!!!!

GIVEN CLEARED – CHRONICLE – BRAD DICKEN DECEMBER 10TH 2010

Given Cleared 2010

WHY ? If anyone had really done ALL the homework and evidence complied and not just dwelled on the surface of the CRA situation the story would be different, believe me I looked at that CRA situation until I was sick of it and the ones that should be held responsible weren’t.

AND NOW!!! We have Mary Springowski feeling the wrath of imho of a up-jumped egotistical 32 year old reporter Kevin Martin / Morning Journal trying the name and shame game because Mary , in order to reach out and provide information to her constituents with information and participation. by pasting an article on her facebook page ! Horrors she apparently single handedly has brought down the print media local by publishing the article

Facebook post by Mary :

THE REST OF THE STORY!!!!

( Mary) “What is happening with this money? Who should benefit from this? Who CAN benefit from this? There must be some regulations. If this is CDBG then it is geared towards low to moderate income areas. What are your thoughts? Remember, if you want them to be part of the permanent record, post your comments and thoughts on the city’s official Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/CityofLorainOH/

( Morning Journal)Lorain, Elyria to get stimulus money in coronavirus response By Richard Payerchin rpayerchin@morningjournal.com @MJ_JournalRick on Twitter Apr 1, 2020

The cities of Lorain and Elyria will receive money from the first allocations in the federal government’s economic stimulus bill due to the novel coronavirus.

The city of Lorain will receive $725,720, while Elyria will receive $439,110 in Community Development Block Grant money, according to an announcement from Sen. Sherrod Brown.……..

Innocent enough one would have thought HOWEVER Mr. Martin thought otherwise and through Twitter started on April 9th to chastise Mary for an article written NOT by Mr Martin but by Rick Payerchin……..although Martin states he is speaking for himself ( that didn’t last long ) Click on the jpg for a clearer picture

Has Mr. Payerchin , the journalist and writer of the piece, contacted Mary with his displeasure? NO! according to Mary. Has Daryl Tucker the Editor contacted Mary? No! apparently not BUT 13 days after Mary posted the article on face book Kevin Martin of Muck Rack fame and membership https://muckrack.com/ complained to the Facebook Police for copy right infringement –

APRIL 13th

If you believe that this content should not have been removed from Facebook, you can contact the complaining party directly to resolve your issue:

Report #: 253706562467430
Rights Owner: MediaNews Group Inc.
Email: kmartin@morningjournal.com
Copyrighted Work: Other

NOTE Martin does not use a personal email account in filing his complaint but that of the Morning Journal .

This should never have gone this far…. I wouldn’t have had to spend five days writing and reliving the punishing press… and maybe “raking the muck” because I was angry at the “punishment not fitting the crime”

All it would’ve taken was a phone call to Mary to take down the post, explain why there was a concern but No the crusading journalist jumped on his high horse and banner of punishing the politician of the people……

WHY? what is his agenda …. when obviously the writer of the offending piece and the Editor didn’t complain….. but because of Mr. Martin -Mrs. Springowski will no longer share , be interviewed or subscribe to the Morning Journal, and Mary is always newsworthy so who suffers by this petulant posturing? NOT Mary .. maybe Martin should be taught the old adage :

“Cutting off the nose to spite the face” is an expression to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem: “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” is a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one’s anger

THE END then again maybe NOT!!!

April 17, 2020 at 12:22 pm Leave a comment

Morning Journal – The Punishing Press- Pt.3 cont.

Part One : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press/

Part Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/14/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press-part-two/

Part Three: https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/15/morning-journal-the-punishing-press-part-3/

Regugitating( in more ways than one) this week has woken up this poor old brain. I started out wanting to show that this particular local paper the Morning Journal had indeed used tactics in the past in order to retaliate and by all accounts a journalist working for them today ( Kevin Martin) had seemingly no compunction about going to the “over the top” reaction when reporting one of Lorain’s “popular with the people” councilwoman. Mary Springowski. You see, my belief, knowing Mary – had Martin or his boss Tucker contacted Mary personally and requested she take down their article from facebook and refrain from sharing in depth again – Mrs. Springowki would have acquiesced.

That “would have been the smart move” in my opinion but that is not what happened . Instead a ” I was reminded of the quote in Maxwell Anderson’s play ” Mary of Scotland”

“We must look to it….. has a woman’s face( and principles 😉 stirred such a confluence of air and waters to beat against the bastions….”

Other thoughts have also been running amok as I go cross- eyed reading the files, news article and editorials and I am thinking my hindsight is telling me there was more going on in that period from 2004- 2007.

Whilst I and others, were in middle of the waters swirling around us and we were fighting for our very homes , way of life and yes opinions we were fighting on more than one front. I can’t believe all these “plans were not part of a bigger picture” but I suppose now I will never know for sure

Shawnee( John Cole, Foltin and secrecy- selling off of lakefront land to the tribe.. being lambasted…. as greedy gobblers saw visions of casino chips dancing in their eyes. Why did it take a small group to point out the folly of having a reservation on the lakefront and the problems that would occur. Did Foltin , Cole Prudoff etc really believe that was going to happen as they spent our money? Thousands upon thousands for what ????? ( as seat at the table with the big boys?? https://clevelandmagazine.com/in-the-cle/the-read/articles/cashing-in . We , and me mainly , certainly incurred the wrath when speaking out, but you see this was going to be “here” in our neighborhood, all the plans swirling around and the bandwagons rolling … COLE and Foltin were NOT happy with me !!!!

Blight – Before we in this Lorain’s oldest neighborhood could even get a handle on the Shawnee during those same weeks and months another plan quietly slipped into place .

The Administration paying yet MORE thousands upon thousands to go through the process of blighting the whole neighborhood on the lakefront where a casino entranceway, bus parking you name it would go .( for private development) .. can you say land banking??? And once again we were thrust into those swirling waters and coming up against media, politics. We were being stretched very thin. Land banking was what it looked like to me BUT FOR WHAT PURPOSE

From my testimony re Blight maybe ( in hindsight) I wasn’t too far from the mark.…”Eminent Lorain V

“Interestingly enough the land banking- that I believe is going on – happens to correspond to the entranceways to that same lake front property. Our City officials in planning, administration and that same newspaper editor making the decision the sell the 200 year old green space that was the birthplace of this community without informing the public or even our representatives on City Council. City council and myself were politely told to keep our place until the decision and plans were made for that park

Veterans Park ..AND THEN at the other end of the neighborhood “planned Blight of a historic little park .. Oh the wheeling and dealing pitting “history boneheads ” ( Coles words not mine ) against developers, and the administration – Foltin , Cole and Prudoff .. The proposed senior citizens condos in the Park.. we had to take on the Veterans who at one point had received hundreds of thousands for improvement for that park..”WHO TURNED NEARLY $500,000 DOLLARS INTO A BOONDOGGLE, BAD NEWS AND DEAD PARK?” https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/veterans-memorial-park-thanks-for-the-memories/

Oh! we were taking a beating by Cole and Co. Letters sent to Veterans groups and meeting berating the history boneheads, ridicule and downright untruths and nastiness followed us who tried to save a tangible and imho important part of Lorain’s history from the earliest times..

http://www.morningjournal.com/articles/2006/02/22/opinion/16173705.txt
Lorain’s City Council shouldn’t be so quick to reject downtown condos (John Cole)

Published: Wednesday, February 22, 2006
But how can city leaders trumpet the need to save the park, when they have stood by and let it become such a vandalized dump? Lorain’s veterans barely use it anymore because it’s so seedy and because all the ceremonial action in Lorain these days is at Black River Landing.

You see the plans ( although NOT shared with anyone in City Council or even employees of Community Development came to light over a lunch… and I made some phone calls

You can read the entire situation here

Veterans MEMORIAL Park- Fini?

and an except of a letter sent to the city administration and in particular Prudoff…. and there they are again

Cole,

Foltin

Prudoff

( if I was a betting person I would say there was some sort of collusion) BUT that would only be my cynical “OPINION” ( lawyers take NOTE!!!)

….[Veard} mention to two representatives of Charleston Village Executive Board on Jan 6th his “plan” as we were eating lunch in a very public place. There was no mention of the need for discretion, if anything the impression given was one of the plans for the park being a “done deal” and that all obstacles such as the Gilmore family restriction was and I quote “not a problem, I have been assured that isn’t an issue any more”.
I believe he was truly shocked when his plan did not meet with favor in our eyes. According to Mr. Veard, “you are the first ones that don’t like it” we were then informed, during that conversation, that other public officials, and non profits had been made aware of the plan to put condos in the “Veterans Park”, such as some members of the Lorain Port Authority, “ the veterans are on board”, the city, including Mayor Foltin and yourself (Sandy Prudoff), as well as the editor of the Morning Journal, John Cole.

At the same time Compass House was setting up as an independent housing and bringing in 10 Registered Sex Offenders a night .. and kicking them out into the neighborhoods a so many days – worrying since the city no longer had a jail and the funding for the Shawnee bond was apparently rolled over into that bond which went on ”

Jail– Lorain City Councilwoman Anne Molnar ( deceased) started to look into the funding and where the money had gone earmarked for a new Jail . Anne wrote to Wom and we put up the minutes of the meeting for her . Anne bless her “fighting for Lorain” heart wrote to WoM at the time

Dear Loraine,
Thank you for posting the minutes of the police and fire committee meeting on WOM. You can sure work miracles on the computer, did a great job posting it on WOM. I believe when most people read them, they can easily see how the Mayor has twisted his words and lied .
There is a lot more to be told, that I found out later regarding the jail, and it is all to late now. Money wasted and spend, many lies told, and not all from the Mayor.[Foltin} Anne

NOTE: The minutes of that meeting and the unbelievable amount of money and spin here Minutes of Feb 2003 No Jail

It seems you couldn’t pick up a paper without my name being “used” . I did seem to be on some vicious treadmill…..me against the media and city government.

–

Why? Yes I was involved but a free press believes in free speech , at least I always thought so . Initially I was confused by Coles’ comment in his editorials (problem is I can no longer link to them) and then I got angry. I started answering back.

The Shawnee excitement came down to earth with a bang when finally City Council etc after receiving much detailed information decided not to renew the option for the land at Black River . I testified at length before members of city council and with a plethora of documentation for the record. ( Was not well received by the Foltin Administration)

Phot by Dan Brady

It was the selling of the little park that really upset Cole and the Morning Journal – you see we along with our sister organization of (Charleston Village Society) Black River Historical Society and Anne Molnar and various residents fought for that park to remain a park. We were gathering our arguments together when Frank Sipkovsky, President of the then Black River Historical Society walked over to City Hall and put in each councilpersons mail box a letter detailing their concerns as to what was going on with the park. Councilman Dan Given called for a vote then and there that evening to settle this situation : and King Cole really went off on them….

March 3rd, 2006: Editorial by John Cole in response to Lorain City Council’s unanimous vote NOT to sell the historic little Park…..

“You can’t make us believe that some council members didn’t cook up Monday’s vote in an illegal backroom meeting. That kind of government stinks as bad as those flooded basements. The state attorney general’s office should give these guys a wake-up call. Their vote could be invalid.

Every one of these zeros is up for re-election next year. Remember how they embarrassed you and your city with their rude and juvenile no-show act………
………

Lorain has too many short-sighted, long-winded politicians, cranks and blowhards and not enough people who can look past all that and push forward with positive accomplishments that can make Lorain strong and attractive again.”

To be continued …

April 16, 2020 at 12:56 pm 1 comment

Morning Journal- The Punishing Press- Part 3

Part One : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press/

Part Two : https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2020/04/14/morning-journal-lorain-the-punishing-press-part-two/

ED NOTE As I revisit the situations in the early part of this century I am amazed at the amount of time, energy and money wasted. The 2004- through 2007 wheeling and dealing. Most of it centered around this old neighborhood, which of course is why I became involved and why I came up against the press and politics. Naïve is the word I would describe myself. Reading the harsh words today as I went through articles and posts of an Editor and a Mayor of that time.

I couldn’t help but think today

“ I was not a politician, I did not hold a job of work with the city or county or with anyone else.”

I suppose I was visible in the public eye due to all the volunteer situations and events from producing Lorain Community Music Theatre productions of Brigadoon and King and I , saving the Palace – Palace Players, one of the founders of Charleston Village Society and a great many other hats all of which did not bring me in a penny and cost me personally. Looking back and with hindsight I should have walked away years ago.

However, I was pilloried in the press and by local government administration as a “VOLUNTEER”- if this can happen to me it can happen and probably did to others. This is the reason I believe this regurgitating of “old news” is warranted.

Winston Churchill said,

“The further back you can look, the farther forward you can see…”

Apart from selling us ( Lorain’s oldest neighborhood) down the river – or on it by Foltin , Cole and the Shawnee , the gathering storm of the Foltin Follies hit Lorain Portside with not one but two blight studies and to hell with this old neighborhood and its people .

( Planned Blight ) was also on the agenda for the dismantling of the oldest greenspace in the county – now known as Veterans Park. Once again Cole , Foltin and Prudoff gathered together in the tower of power to make this happen for the developer Jon Veard. The paper calling that little slice of Lorain’s tangible history a “piss park”

Unfortunately I cannot link directly to those editorials they have disappeared , as has most of the Wom Blog articles at the time . I did however, manage to save some although the links embedded originally are “broken” through accident or design. A lot of revisionist history happens in Lorain.

Let us start with Blight. As a founding member and co chair of Charleston Village Society ( 1986 to present and a 501C3. )

http://www.loraincounty.com/charlestonlorai/feature.shtml?f=375llage

I received phone calls from the neighbors over on the Portside section of our neighborhood

A Mr. Gould would be coming into their homes to start a blight study.”

This was also around the time Eminent Domain for private development was being used see Kelo case https://ij.org/issues/private-property/eminent-domain/

We (CVSI) did some research and informed the neighbors NOT to let Mr. Gould onto or into their property and homes. We fought with what little resources we had and travelled to Washington D.C to meet with the Institute of Justice , became “friends of court for the Norwood Case” .

https://ij.org/ll/june-2004-volume-13-number-3/the-norwood-ohio-eminent-domain-trial/

With the help of the Institute of Justice – Gould and Associates could not meet the required percentage to “blight the neighborhood”- the first step in eminent domain .

On April 10th 2006 I testified before the State Task Force on Eminent Domain ( Ex Lorain Mayor Joseph Kozuira was a member of that Task Force. part of the testimony was as follows:

We believe the citizens and taxpayers are the last to know. In the Portside case it is the taxpayer that is paying the $125,000 for the study- $50,000 from our Utilities Dept -$25,000 from the Lorain Port Authority and $50,000 from the city- ALL dependent upon the tax payer and yet we were not informed of the ordinance or the fact that our money would be used. Every time a toilet is flushed in Portside they are paying for their homes to be under the tool of eminent domain. This evening (April 10th) they are asking the City to remove them from the study.

The designation of Blight in Lorain gives the following options to the city: the tool of Eminent Domain, TIF funding, and zoning changes and readies the area “in case a casino” or another concept comes across the board. Blight designation HAS worked well in Lorain with Harbor Walk but that development was different in the fact that the city and the developer (who owned the property) took a disused shipyard and turned it into housing and a marina. It is a wonderful asset. The difference being that there was financing in place, architectural drawings and “real plan” not concepts or visions. The community was aware of the project, it was no secret.

The city of Lorain has contributed to the housing infrastructure problems; the city of Lorain has NOT enforced building codes,

brokehomes

therefore contributing to the deterioration of our homes and infrastructure and NOW say-“oh the area should blighted!!”

ED NOTE:You can access the whole testimony here Eminent Lorain V

Are you adding up these costs to the taxpayer for the Shawnee, the Blight ? can you see why I was an irritant in the underwear of Foltin and Cole. Who the hell was I to point out the “waste” and meddle in their plans?

And then came the Park TAKE OVER- Lorain’s Oldest continuing green space from which the City of Lorain was platted and born :

The History Park- 1812- 201 hundred years – a recorded city park – Veterans Park Lorain Ohio

“In the closing months of 2005 the Foltin Administration along with Community Development Director Sandy Prudoff, Jon Veard and Morning Journal editor – John Cole, in their infinite wisdom, decided the historic park should be condos. Foltin and Co started the wheels in motion to make this little park unworthy of its heritage .
Mayor Foltin quietly stopped work and maintenance on the park so that after a period of months the park and its infrastructure started to rapidly deteriorate. The fountain no longer was turned on, said to have major problems ( which turned out later to be a false statement)- graffiti wasn’t removed – only the grass was cut – the vagrants were allowed to use it as John Cole’s editorial stated as a “piss park”. In truth Craig Miller the Safety Service Director told me the park would be “blighted”. Events happened when Jon Veard let the plans out of the bag prematurely and I, along with others, started fighting to stop this fiasco of finance.

And John Cole really had a field day with me and his editorials : However, I do have to thank him because it was “HE” who gave me the moniker “that woman” hence the name of this blog ….. Of course I was also named a crank, blowhard and history bonehead…..Nice

To be continued………

April 15, 2020 at 12:18 pm 1 comment

Morning Journal Lorain- the Punishing Press?

ED NOTE: it takes a great deal nowadays to get my fingers flying over this keyboard. I have pretty much given up getting involved in all things Lorain. I am too old to worry about the future as it pertains to me and this neighborhood. Tired of swimming upstream. However, there are times that cause me to jump back in. This is one of them!

The Morning Journal vs City Council Woman at Large Mary Springowski

https://www.cityoflorain.org/305/Mary-Springowski

Mary Springowski . Council At-Large. Phone: 440-258-4302. Email Mary Springowski. Mary Springowski began serving as the Council at-Large representative on January 1, 2016 where she was gratified to receive the top votes in both the Democratic Primary …

Since the retaliation to various citizens ( usually me 😉 has been an ongoing behavior this post will be in a series one part every day! Time for a history lesson because history once again is repeating itself – in my humble opinion……( for the lawyers 😉

WoM Logo by Scott Baklar

Long time readers of this blog and the old WoM Blog will remember my penchant for holding the local press , especially the Morning Journal , Lorain to account. Unfortunately, that has put me time and time again on the list for punishment for my stance.

I had, with regard to publicity for the various theatre productions etc. and non profit , volunteer news , a very good relationship with the Plain Dealer, the Elyria Chronicle and yes! the Morning Journal. I would, when sending out press releases make sure the paper I was sending to had a local hook that differed with all three, meaning the press releases were geared to each paper so they weren’t rehashing the same article. This worked very well and over the years I like to think I built up a good rapport with the various newsrooms .

Unfortunately, this came to crashing halt in 2002 with the Publisher of the Morning Journal, Kevin Haezebroeck Publisher- The Morning Journal
Nov 2001 – Aug 2004 -2 years 10 months.

At the time I was on the board of what was MainstreetLorain a 501C3 . We were promoting one of our events in downtown Lorain. Our Director , at the time also promoted the event in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. This sent the hierarchy of the Morning Journal , Haezebroeck , John Cole ( deceased) and Bill Cyran (deceased) into a frenzy of frustration. I received a call from the Entertainment Editor ( since I was doing the publicty) he had been told to pull the article he was writing and the cover of the entertainment magazine. I called Bill Cyran and was told unless we got rid of our Director the Morning Journal would never give us any publicity again, I was informed we could only deal with the Morning Journal. I was shocked especially since Mr. Haezebroek was a sitting member of our Board of Directors. As the situation went from bad to worse, and as the majority BOD did not support our Director, due to not wanting to fall foul of the Morning Journal, our Director then resigned .

I was furious, not only at the majority of the BOD. and their, in my opinion ,cowardice at not standing united, I know they were probably scared of retaliation with their businesses but that a “free press” – the 4th estate, would stoop to such behavior. I had at that time a couple of columns for various publications ( freelance) and never had I come across such punishing behavior. I wrote in one of my columns in 2002 :

“Locally, this writer has had cause for concern with her “morning news publication” It seems that community coverage has become tied to the amount of advertising dollars spent, dictates by the publisher and editor as to with whom a non profit is allowed to do business. Retaliatory punishment of an organization because of a personal dislike of an individual who had the audacity to support advertising outside the dictates of the local “fair and balanced” periodical.

There were threats of non-coverage of community events whilst certain individuals remained in their position. In fact the threats became reality. How? You ask can a publication get away with that behavior. Can it be that the publication involved has become so used to dealing with situations they dislike by throwing their weight around, without answering to anyone for their actions? Have they become immune to the seriousness of their behavior? Have bullying and “mercenary” attitudes become so commonplace that they have forgotten their first obligation to John Q. Public? Can they no longer see their editorial opinions chastising others for suspect behaviors could well be directed inwards?

Who? I ask, stands up to the publications and say “NO! We will not be bullied”. Members of John Q. Public who quiver with fear at the thought of their company, political ambitions or organization being on the receiving end of a “nasty editorial”. Yes, it seems our local media has us by the throat, they will be fair and balanced when it suits them, they will as a recent quote in an editorial stated, “we will be watching”. The question begs to be asked, “Who then watches the watchers?”

Who is Watching the Watcher

Unfortunately, for the MJ and Haezerbroeck I became the “volunteer” Director of the MainstreetLorain 501C3 until we could bet another Director. Poor Kevin he found me difficult to work with …. probably because I didn’t cave in to his threat ( stated at a restaurant downtown when he was not in a good mood… I know he thought I was just a little overweight housewife on 4th street…. as he stated that day ”

” “never argue with someone who buys his ink by the barrel full …threat” as a matter of interest I had more monthly readers in one dance magazine than the MJ had in 10 🙂

However Mr. Haezerbroeck remembers it differently and came onto this blog a few years ago to correct me .. What I would have said was it was not smart to fight with people who “buy paper by the ton and ink by the barrel”.

( still a threat ???)

Next up 2004 Please note some of the links in some of the post are no longer linkable due to publications pulling them – but I usually kept the articles on file 😉

April 13, 2020 at 5:41 pm 5 comments

No Exit – trapped in Lorain- The Others

freedom of speech by Chris Ritchey

I don’t know why I am writing this , not much point really apart from getting it off my chest. In my theatre days I was part of a production at the Palace Theatre ( Lorain) of John Paul Sartre’s “NO EXIT” Three people trapped in their own kind of hell……

““All those eyes intent on me. Devouring me. What? Only two of you? I thought there were more; many more. So this is hell. I’d never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the “burning marl.” Old wives’ tales! There’s no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE!”

The “Other” people, they come into a neighborhood that is quiet especially in old Lorain , a Lorain that is not growing old so gracefully.

First: The Others come in and dump what used to be decent family homes onto the market because of poor business practices and the sub prime mortgage scandal.https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2018/03/19/my-roses-their-guns-walk-away-from-lorain/

Then : Others come in like money hungry vultures and buy up the properties for pennies on the dollar,

When Vision is “cloudy” Property Holding LLCs- NY TIMES

Agencies provide housing lists where RSO’s and those on parole can “assimilate into the neighborhoods- Bureau of Community Sanctions http://drc.ohio.gov/community

Bureau of Community Sanctions Overview

The Bureau of Community Sanctions distributes and monitors grant and contractual funds provided to local jurisdictions and private vendors to establish community sanctions and residential services for adult offenders that are re-integrating into the community or who, otherwise, would be incarcerated in local jails or state prisons. Programs funded by the Bureau include Halfway Houses, Community-Based Correctional Facilities, Community Residential Centers, Permanent Supportive Housing, and Community Corrections Act grant programs including Intensive Supervision Probation, Standard Probation, Prosecutorial Diversion, Non-Supervisory Treatment Programs, Electronic Monitoring, and Community Work Service. Additionally, the Bureau has provided Probation Improvement Grants, Probation Incentive Grants, and SMART Ohio Grants in order to alleviate voids in services. The funds and contracts managed by the Bureau are addressed in Ohio Revised Code Sections 2301.51, and Ohio Administrative Codes 5120:1-3-01 and 5120:1-5-06.

artist not found

and the Adult Parole Authority , http://drc.ohio.gov/parole

The APA’s mission is to “aid in the reentry of offenders by partnering with community stakeholders and law enforcement agencies to preserve public safety by holding offenders accountable through diverse supervision strategies and technology.” The philosophy of supervision statement for the Field Services section of the APA is to “effectively supervise and provide opportunity for offenders to reenter into law-abiding citizenship and to reward, encourage, and promote positive behavior, while holding offenders accountable for negative behavior.” The APA determines release of inmates from prison to parole or transitional control, sets supervision conditions for inmates released on post release control, coordinates placement of offenders in the community and supervises them upon their release from prison. In addition, the APA assists counties in the development of basic felony supervision services upon request for the Courts of Common Pleas. The APA administers Ohio’s interstate compact agreement for probation and parole coordinating movement of supervised offenders among states.

and now rehab centers for drug dealers and convicted felons, along with people who NEED Rehab. ( follow the money , and the grants)

https://www.familywatchdog.us/

RSO’s around my house 165 mapable and 15 unmapable…. churches, schools also in the same vicinity along with a struggling downtown.

A neighborhood starts to spiral downward, a business district suffers because of deteriorating neighborhoods surrounding that district and they are getting worse.

Others move into these homes, others who are bent on living THEIR life style , no respect, just feed the sound system, deal the drugs, intimidate what is left of a neighborhood, bring in “others’ until what is left are those that cannot move , are unable to cope and so hide within their homes, frightened of the “armed others”.

The “left people, meaning those that are left – not of the political term- they try to call government, the police, anyone , they for the most part do not live this lifestyle, it is foreign to them , they don’t understand this disrespect or how this is happening, they do not know what can and can’t be done, they reach out for help……… and not a lot can be done.

There is NO HELP from the likes of a Bureau of Community Sanctions, helping THEM to live in their neighborhood. No service agency for those that are left , trying to live a peaceful hardworking existence and live out their lives in their homes whether owned or rented.

Most of these issues, the music , the loud lifestyles, the implied intimidation , watching people dealing in parking lots , the lack of quality of life CANNOT be addressed quickly or with much accountability. So we live in a limbo of fear of retaliation perceived or intended.

Hurled Through the window- Retribution- who done it Lorain

The crime map of this morning , as I type, you can see this old neighborhood is seemingly outnumbered by the “Others” How does community breathe in the 44052 . http://communitycrimemap.com/

Oh some of the drug deals etc are looked into and documented for the courts by our Lorain Police Dept, sometimes months of work goes into these deals and dealers. BUT what good is it when felons are given a ” time out for drug rehab” and a $750 fine and released back into the neighborhood. What message – Judges of Lorain and County does this send to the people who are “left” ?

To Stabilize or DE-stabilize that is the question Lorain County

The police can only do so much, “call when there is an issue.. “make sure your mention they have a scanner if you believe that to be the case” The police have to witness the “crime or activity”. In Lorain on any given day or night there are only 6 -7 officers on the streets for a population of 64,000 and covering 24 square miles and is comprised of 113 Police Officers and 34 civilian employees.

The “Others” know the system they know how to get around the laws, they know how to waste time , they know eventually the “the lefts “ will either give up, die , move or just get plain worn out or be put down as a “complainer”… Been there done that

In this house, at the moment I have a hospice patient, last days of living in Lorain…. dying slowly without a murmur and if you ask me Lorain and the 44052 are following in the footsteps…….

I hope I am wrong but if this street and what is happening in this neighborhood is anything to go by we the lefts are terminal as there isn’t much hope with the solutions we have…… I am not sure there will be a “continuation…..” not when the “others are spreading the disease as quickly as they are….

July 9, 2018 at 5:05 pm 7 comments

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January 3rd – NO LIMITS- Chapter 35- Chris Ritchey

December 3rd- NO LIMITS- Chapter 35-Chris Ritchey

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