IGNOR(e) (st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church Part Three

June 25, 2010 at 10:01 am 19 comments

IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church- Part One
IGNOR(e)(st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church- Part Two

So here we are June of 2010- Our lives turned inside out and denied even the luxury of closure for our son by staunch Roman Catholics.

Those that are regular readers of my writings throughout the years will know I am one of those people who have to know why, and who is accountable. I have fought for many people and issues through the years I have been an advocate , and tilted at some pretty tough windmills. But the toughest advocacy was and is personal, my own son removed from his family in life and in death. How could this be?

Oh I know the “legal rights” as given to his wife by the law- but what about the moral rights- what about compassion- what about Christian charity – is that not part of the Roman Catholic doctrine?

Angela Lombardi ( ritchey) – Chris RITCHEY

If the friend of the family who has sent out the emails asking for support for the Lombardis because of big bad me is to believed it was because of the memorial service that a “grieving???? widow ) sat angry and possibly thinking of ways to control a situation because of Chris’ mother (me) .

If you believe the widow it was because she was honoring her husband because he wasn’t an organ donor . (Read the links in green for more information)

Take your pick of reasonings – none that justify ( in my opinion ) the actions of the Lombardis as perpetrated on this family. But maybe I am wrong maybe this is the Mary, Mother of God Parish( St. Mary’s) way” you tell me?

However let’s get back to that church where the memorial service was held and where my son took his vows , it also happens to be the church I help to save from closure .

I wrote a great deal about that church and its congregation




and its worthiness to one Bishop Lennon. My writings and thoughts were front page in the local media.

Ironically about the time my son’s Hodgkin’s returned the church got good news:

As stated in Part Two of this series Chris was not a Roman Catholic and I am very angry that he was now interred in the “NOT OF HIS FAMILY OR RELIGION PLOT’ thanks to the legal rights of the “plot (ting) family “

I accessed the Cleveland Catholic Cemeteries website and asked them how they explained family unity in death when my sons “cremains were effectively legally kidnapped from his faith and family ? I was IGNORED

I knew this priest “Father Divis”and he knew of me ( after all I went to bat for him and his church) , he knew of Chris’ family and he officiated at the wedding ( more on that in the letter to the Bishop) and the memorial service . I never heard from this man of God after my son passed- he certainly knew where to reach me. Ironically I heard from Pastors, Reverends, Priests of other parishes( here and in the UK ) and even an Iman .

The Lombardi grouping.

So these loving God, staunch Mary Mother of God parishioners, after deciding Chris family would not be able to have their closure in their way then neglected(???) to inform anyone in Chris’ family as to the time they were putting Chris in their “papish ground” .

It wasn’t that they weren’t asked ( well at least to Tim Lombardi ) by two of Chris family members and of Angela and she promised in one of those little notes to Nikki that Nikki would be informed.

I wonder what justification they will come up with this time?

I wondered how this Father Divis could officiate at the internment of my son – Did he?

1. Did he know those of Chris’ blood hadn’t been informed by Mr. Tim Lombardi , Mrs. Sue Lombardi or Angela ( Lombardi )ritchey or any of the “family” as to the time of the interment –

ED NOTE:REMEMBER THE WIFE WAS NOW TAKING CONTROL AND EXERCISING HER RIGHTS AS CHRIS’ WIFE- we once again as per the hospital had to defer to her and or HER FAMILY for any information.


How private do you get with an internment?

2. Did he not think it strange that none of Chris immediate family was in attendance or did he too choose to IGNORE that happenstance or did he find this whole scenario acceptable because we weren’t Roman Catholic?

How does this work in the Roman Catholic Church- Did Angela perhaps have to do a penance for effectively lying to a family and breaking her word in front of witnesses I might add on Dec 4th .

Does honoring ones’ mother and father only count if it is YOUR own mother and father and to hell with anyone elses mother and father.

Sharing a laugh - but on whom?


What penance does a Roman Catholic receive for the pain she caused or perhaps that is OK with the parish and parishioners?

How does this work? Who decides a what is a sin or unacceptable in the Roman Catholic Church – does knowingly inflicting more pain and no closure on those that have lost their only son not count as unacceptable in the Church of Holy Mary Mother of God, Lorain Ohio?

You see I think what they did to this family was sinful and hateful but that is just me who has been on the receiving end of their decision and having to deal with the consequences of their actions .

Who am I just a grieving mother ( who admittedly has a reputation for not going quietly into the night) and a non parishioner.

Maybe delivering pain and non -closure is only unacceptable if you are of their religious persuasion.Oh ! gee where have I heard that before think it was somewhere in the dark ages………

So not having much else to do but cry and get through I wrote a letter to that same Bishop Lennon and to Father Divis.


Entry filed under: Chris Ritchey, death, grief, journey, Love, Mothers, notorious opponents of exactitude, personal opinion, religion, weddings and funerals. Tags: , , .

IGNOR(e) (st)ANCE and the Roman Catholic Church – PART TWO PLEASE CHECK OUT THIS LINK-

19 Comments Add your own

  • 1. aylin  |  June 26, 2010 at 3:31 am

    Oh Loraine. I’m sorry. That is all I can offer for all that you went through on top of going through losing your child. Sin is sin and allowing sin to happen when you are well versed in the catholic beliefs is even greater sin. I can not fathom the anger, sadness and frustration you feel. I wish I could give you words that would console, but all I can say is that ANY good conscienced catholic, whether priest or parishioner, would not exclude anyone from anything on the basis of religion. The only exception to that would be for a non-catholic to receive communion (we believe the bread and wine is the actual body and blood of Christ versus it being symbolic). That said, you should never have been left out of any funeral mass, etc. I dont think a priest would knowingly exclude your family – that doesnt sound right at all – perhaps it was scheduled and you were not invited, hence he thought you just didnt show? That is all I can sum up because the story is so illogical – I dont want that to taint your mind on true catholic beleifs which are more inclusive than well, probably any other religion. I am still praying for your healing, my mom has jumped on this train, as well (another devout catholic). God bless you always.

  • 2. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 26, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Aylin, I have so many friends who are Roman Catholic who atre also confused by what has happened…I guess in some respects I am confused I would have hoped as I am led to believe that some knew of this decision in that church and they didn’t speak to it you see I would have …..? but maybe the whole story will come out……..

    I will say that the journey as far as this particular aspect is ciontinuing in the next couple of posts. You see I didn’t appreciate being ignored so I went further in my quest as to “why” and so it continues……through epsidoe 4 and 5 and possibly 6….

    we will continue and once again thanks you …. Loraine

  • 3. Mary  |  June 27, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Loraine, as a practicing Catholic, I can most assuredly tell you that this is abhorrent to me and other members of my faith. I won’t go into my personal feelings on Fr. Divis. I can only say that you know who he was dealing with and you know what the ring leader can be like when she gets a bee in her bonnet! I am appalled at what took place. Even after many years of marriage and children from that marriage, if (God forbid) my darling husband were to pass away and his parents were still alive, there is no way I could only consider my own feelings in the matter. My husband is an only child and I have always been very cognizant of that fact when it comes to dealing with my in-laws. Regardless of one’s religion or spiritual beliefs, what was done was unacceptable and there is no way that it can be justified. Bonds of blood don’t just end because someone got married. Knowing all the parties involved, I’m finding it very difficult to understand how someone could act in this manner. But in no way can this be put down to religious beliefs. This was psychological and it was about control. Furthermore, as a practicing Catholic, I AM AN ORGAN DONOR! My mother’s parents were Presbyterian and were cremated (they rest on my mantle where I have a wee chat with my granny when I’m troubled). I know that we Catholics get a bit squeamish about cremation but I’ve never heard anything against organ donation. That’s a fallacy! But then I suppose you’ve run into a lot of fallacies with this group.

  • 4. Loraine Ritchey  |  June 27, 2010 at 10:33 am

    Mary the saga will continue in the next couple of posts……this wasn’t about religion or being an organ donor…the “friend of the Mombardis” ( not a spelling mistake” 😉 hit the nail on the head it was and is about CONTROL. ……. always has been …….but she and her enablers had to have some “justification ” for the public.more on that in part 5 ….. and it was about puttting “me in my place...” Angela’s notes when looked at from a physcological aspect are very telling……. Part 4 tomorrow …….

    Most of my friends are practicing Roman Catholics… Chris’ godparents were Roman Catholics….Nikki’s Godmother is a Roman Catholic….. they too are deeply hurt…..remember they weren’t able to attend either…

  • 5. Mary  |  June 28, 2010 at 2:09 am

    I think their actions are utterly appalling!

  • 6. thatwoman  |  June 28, 2010 at 2:57 am

    Me too! and cruel and emotionally abusive in my opinion….

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  • […] AND this is what the priest Father Divas and his parishioners did in my opinion to my family. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/06/25/ignore-stance-and-the-roman-catholic-church-part-three/ It is something I will not forget or forgive whilst my son’s remains are in a place I find […]

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  • […] I looked for the usual pit falls and triggers- I checked to see those coping defenses put in place these many months were still there. I can now see a black Ford pick up truck without flinching , I can drive past Mary, Mother of God Parish( St. Mary’s church without wanting to physically vomit. https://thatwoman.wordpress.com/2010/06/25/ignore-stance-and-the-roman-catholic-church-part-three/ […]

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June 2010

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